Monthly Archives: December 2018

When it Rains ☂


10551057_10153035975977785_1329849181222001721_ntimthumb184414_10151642914512863_1045860989_nYou’ve heard the saying, when it rains it pours. Well, that is triply true, when you are a “heaven kid. ” You get up, like it’s gonna be a normal day, and then.  Bam.  Remember recently, the blog extension , “I hear Jesus? ” I’m praying about how, He wants that, to come about.  Is it a new page?  Truly, I don’t know. For now, we will continue here .📌 ❤️



Have you ever just had, Life fall 🌻 apart?  Funny, that the sunflower would, pop up.  Perhaps, a reminder ,that when life appears to be in ruins, Jesus is still working.  There are flowers blooming, in His Life garden .  But is it easy, to SEE that, when WE are naturally grappling for control?  And not just that, maybe a way out, of the mess. ..Perhaps? Most would answer, No!



I know, for ME it’s a constant surrender process.  Not one day passes, that someone does not misunderstand. But, I’m so trying, not to take that to heart.  💞  Years ago, someone along the way, told me , “I take the good with the bad. ” I appreciated that.  Whether they knew it, I learned a lot about compassion, from that individual .  Jesus is the good, and He never SEES us as bad.  No matter what.



I was walking in a restaurant. A familiar spot.  My husband chose it.  Many of you know it.  It’s a Christian place.  As I walked in, I had my headphones in, and there was a song about resurrection on.  Maybe the 2nd or 3rd time I’ve heard it today.  Apparently phone plays it, in offline mode.  ❤️  But, as I hear it, I then hear,  “Look around and up. ”



My heart 💞 aches.  I see a sweet family.  A man, a woman, and a little girl.  #memories.  Tears.  I’ve cried lots this morning.  After all, it has only been a few days, since her 5 year.  So I continue on.  And I hear, “Take this. ” He hands me a net.  It’s huge.  I see words.  They say outcast, misfit, different , controlling, prideful, arrogant , judgmental, cruel,  mean, hateful,  rude, gross, disgusting, insane, unloved. I see Him take His net and capture them.  Then He instructs me, to specific ones.  I do the same.  We work together. Sweating ,we stand up.  “These words represent many things,  He says.  But , my love ❤️ covers EVERYTHING .

#Jesusisafisherofmen ❤️



He looks at me, and says, “You are NOT these things.  None of my children are. Choose the attributes that, belong to you.  I died for, your freedom.  I look up, and say, I’m sorry.  He says, “I love ❤️ you. I will NEVER condemn you.  Because of my Love ,nothing can harm you.  Joy,  Peace , Gratitude of Kindness ,  the 3 chord strand of my Love.  ❤️ ”



Heavenly Father, thank you for Grace ,to face the day.  To succeed to fail.  So, that you can prevail ,in every way.  Create in us clean hearts.  Thank you Jesus ,for your Amazing and Abundant Love ❤️, that comforts us.  Especially in the midst of changes ,and challenges .Holy Spirit ,we appreciate the nurturing, that only, you can bring us.  We come with repentant, and broken 💔 hearts to, receive today.


In Jesus name ,




In His Grace,






31 Dec 2018

Receiving the Call ~#5 ❤️ 💫💣

As I woke today, feeling the pull to write.  I must admit I fought ,throughout the night.  But God.  Tears already falling.  There’s just something ,about this day.  Part if me dreaded the arrival.  Most of me celebrates.  Because, inside, that’s who I am.  No matter, what I’m a joy child.


As I listen to the lyrics on… It says, “In the morning, when I rise.  Give me Jesus.  You can have ALL this world, but give ME Jesus. ” (Jeremy Camp)  More ➕ tears fall.  #meinanutshell ❤️



It’s sometimes, hard to hear Him.  Not everyone likes His plans, or wants His Love ❤️ .  And when He instructs you, to step back, or walk away sometimes, you must.  As the song, “Be still and Know” comes on again.  Tears


This morning, I was sitting in, a familiar room with Jesus.  I asked , “Why are we here?  ” .You’d think it’d be my childhood house.  But, it wasn’t . it was her last place.  The Hospital room.  I looked around .. .Everything looked the same.  Even the rainbow butterfly light.  I was so sad, I never got a picture of . But I have a forever picture.


He looks at me, I look at Him.  I start to get upset.  “Why are WE HERE! ! !”.  He takes a breath, then says. ” Because , it’s time.  ” .  So I say,  “Time for what?  Aren’t we doing what we’re supposed to do, following instruction.  “. He says simply , ” Breathe.  It is time for new ,to come.  But, you must, release ALL the old.  ” .  Tears fall.  I want Him to hug me.  But, I’m feeling so much.  He opens His arms says,  “Come. I remember. Let’s feel together.  I can take it.  Give it to me.  I love you.  ❤️ ”



It was about midnight, when we got the call .  The doctors said, “She’s in trouble .If she codes again, we won’t be able to do anything.  ” .  My sweet husband, heard those words. I know his heart was hurting.  Yet, he barely showed a weakness.  I saw Jesus, in a new light.  There was strength, might, authority . It was incredible.  But pain… That makes it tough to breathe.  Even still, some days.  But the Grace. Thank Heaven’s for the Grace.  Just to continue …



As the song… “I can Only Imagine ” ( mercy me)   plays.   There are many things, we don’t have to imagine.  We have lived them.  We live them daily.  #lifeofloveandgrace ❤️


“That call, was not just about Sarah.  Nor, is that room…  As my tears continue flowing…  He speaks to me…   Every resurrection, has a tomb.  It’s time for yours.  In this room.  Many dreams died.  I am bringing them, back to life! ”




I tell Him, ” I’m so sorry. I feel I failed, in so many ways.  But, I know you have not.  That, you never will.  I truly, am grateful that, you are making me new.  Thank you. ” .


He says,  “Look up, into the light.  And do you see the bed, where she was?  Go lay on it.  ” As I do, I see this light ,come from the rainbow light.  It’s a swirl of rainbow.  Looks like a light show.  Then, I see Jesus direct it.  I hear Him say, “New Life begins.  The Old   is Gone.  Now!   Hit swirling light hits me.   And ALL the pain… Is gone!  My body electrified, by His Love.  ❤️


And then…. He looks at me, and says, “That question you have. I’m working it out.  It will multiply. You’ll see.  My Love ❤️ won’t fail.  My Grace will carry… ALL of you. #unitedbymyheart ❤️ ”

I stay..  In His embrace.  As He transforms into the lion .  Smiles from me.  My favorite #Hislionkid ❤️


He knows ,there are a few heart questions.  But one, that must be surrendered daily. #Heknows ❤️


Today, I pray for the many families… Dealing with Loss.  Yes, our loss is His Gain.  But, He knows the pain.  Heavenly Father, comfort their hearts .  Bring them special presents ,that only you can.  Holy spirit nurture and heal the wounds, as often a mom, looks over the children.  So delicate and beautiful .And brother Jesus, walk with US, into this new place of healing.  We come, with repentant hearts, and receive.

In Jesus name,




There is a time for EVERYTHING. And for EVERYTHING a season.  ( Ephesians)

As the Last 🌜 song… Playing is “Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus. ”


In His Grace,


Elea Grace

#foreveramomofmanyangels ❤️








23 Dec 2018


Now, seriously for me to say this at um 3 :25am is totally GOD. To say with smiles and JOY, yes…it is JESUS. LOVE. Been up and awake, for about an hour. Just getting into a space, where I could AWAKE. It is RARE that I get a DEEP night sleep. SO, when I do, it is a MAJOR gift. YOu can imagine my excitement, when Jesus woke me, saying, “I need you.” There was this teeny tiny part of me, that JUST wanted to sleep. Can YOU relate. I would bet you can. It is totally NORMAL. As our first response, for us, to want extra time, or extra grace, is okay. JESUS knows, we need that. HE is a merciful GOD. Hence, why the writing, did not begin, the moment I tumbled out of bed. Giggles.


There is this song, called “Angels” that keeps playing on the radio. “Darkness cannot reach us, let the angels tech us. ONLY LOVE remains.” As if on cue, I look up and I see, and hear Jesus. Yes. Guess where He is. He is in like, a carpentry shed today. I said, “Funny you have been coming to me lately. And I did hear you call me. Well you and our Heavenly Papa. And here today, you brought me to you. ” I smile. I continue. “It reminds me of that scene from the movie, “Back to the Future. ” That awesome line, that George Mcfly has. Yes. “DEstiny has popped me to you.” Jesus laughs. I love that one! Great movie. 🙂 WE both sit, and reflect. I look over, and observe, what He is making. My eyes get REALLY big! And i say, “YOU are making TOYS!!!!!!”

He says, “I sure AM! That is NOT ALL I AM making though. 🙂  I sit and listen, and He says, “I am making, tools. Tools to help many. They will help to rebuild. THEY will bring much JOY to the nations. I am so excited, for all these TOOLS will be USED to accomplish. MUch healing will come to the LAND. Redemption, in the most beautiful way. ” I am still just, in awe, and enamored by the toys, HE is making Each design, so intricate. He has NOT even added the color. Yet, I see it beginning to peek through. THat is how, amazing HE is, . I watch and listen. JUst hanging, on EVERY single word, He says.

I hear music. I smile. He says,” I want to pause a moment. Beautiful…Can I have this dance?” I blush, and say, “Of course.”  We begin to dance. The song is from a movie called , Hope Floats. The song….”To Make You Feel My Love.” I was struggling with memory. I was getting frustated. He said, “Breathe. Let me hold you. I am ALWAYS safe. Listen to MY music. I am YOURS. YOU are mine. ALWAYS. Forever. Heaven’s design.”

I start to just CRY in HIS arms… He says…”Just release it precious.”  I say, “THis is so hard. They think I am so strong . Yet I….You know. My voice trails off. But you. ” He looks up at me, tilts my face up, and kisses my forhead. He says, ” I know, and I have got you. We are in THIS together. ALWAYS.  As I am listening to that song… LIVE in the natural. And an AGT/Britian’s got Talent video comes on…on UTUBE. Yeah. #JESUSSPEAKS

The woman is singing about people being lost. Wow. They are telling her, to be more emotional. Wow. Bless her heart. Jesus says, “Preparation, beautiful one. WE always prepare….together. I smile. I cry. I cry some more. Jesus is moving, in this child. And, wow. My heart is smiling. I so get this. Because, wow, every lyric…holy heaven….just WOW!

“Every place…I want to be, I want to see you there…. and you took MY life with YOU.” WOW….yes THAT. ”


He says, “See that. I say, “Yes sir. I am gonna do that….but even MORE. And my heart just pounds. He said, “I have so much GOOD in store!” It is time to say “GOOD MORNING WORLD!!!!!!”  “It is TIME to LOVE in a whole NEW way. MY HEART…. and no way, you will mess up. Because, I do NOT fail. I am already making ways for you. ENJOY the ride. Enjoy EVERY single dance. I LOVE YOU so. THIS is OUR ROMANCE.”

“Time to say GOODBYE to the bad, and HELLO to the GOOD, and you will SEE….my PLANS arrive. Smile. Laugh, and RECEIVE.”


in Song of Songs…. it is expressed in ch 4… the observation of beauty.



How VERY Beautiful!

Your Eyes behind your veil, are like those of a Dove








16 Dec 2018

Home SWEET Home

Sweet like Candy. Yes, that is what Home, should taste like? Right? But, there ARE many types of candy. And some are pretty bitter tasting. And when you grew up, being the “problem” child; HOME is not a word that makes you smile. UNTIL…Jesus knocks, that is. As if, right on cue…. the song, “Right here waiting for YOU.” (Richard Marx) comes on. The lyrics I hear, in a BRAND NEW way. Just me and JESUS hear. I see JESUS listen, and play with him too. #beautiful LOVE.

REdemption of a hard memory…… #HeremembersforMEandholdsALLMYmemories

I hear JESUS…. The new BLOG Extension. Yes. Tears. I do too. Always. Every moment, and in EVERYTHING, I hear HIM. And, HE hears ME too. And, HE hears YOU. He sees YOU….He feels you. You know the 5 senses? THEY are from GRACE. Is that not just AWESOME!!!!! The song on now…. “Let’s hear it for the BOY!” Definitely…. Let’s Hear it for JESUS!!!!! YAY!!!!!

Okay, now I am doing cartwheels,,,,with Jesus, and backhandsprings, as He spots me. It looks like a scene, in “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.” He knows, I love the dance scenes in that film. Smiles. You SEE Jesus, knows, EVERY single detail about ME. He knows, EVERY hair on my head. Every pain, EVERY single wound, and ounce of brokenness, HE knows. He knows this about ALL of US!!!! AND the BEST THING is, HE will NEVER EVER EVER USE THIS INFORMATION to HURT YOU or ME! HE is ALWAYS 100% SAFE! WOOHOO!!!!!!!

So, He says, back to thinking about, how you “grew up.” I look up at HIM, and say, “Do we have to?” He says, “Beautiful fun is great, but you have to heal. You know this. THERE is ALWAYS more healing, that can come. ANd the healing and love multiples. That is how it works here. In your permanent HOME. ” I sigh, and say, “Okay, then afterwards, more JOY.” He says, “You got it dude!” He was referencing a show Sarah loved. (Full House), to make me smile. I bust out laughing, even in the natural. As something hysterical, just happened. Oh how i LOOOOOOOOOVE HIM!

So He says, What about the smells? Do you remember good smells? I had closed my eyes, feelining like I was in therapy. #Jesustherapyoflove. (seasons change on the radio) I said, “My mom always cooked. That always smelled good. Probably why I like cooking. Hmmm, I see where you are going with this. wink. And now, He says, “What did you hear? I shudder. He gets a blanket. He wraps me up. I instantly warm up, to perfect temperature. Well, It was kind of a loud and proud house. But… behind closed doors. And I was always trying to get everyone to talk openly. But no one would listen to me. And when you gave me thing, they just dismissed me. It was scary. I felt very unsafe.

He says, okay. And you felt, you did not fit in, right. “YES!!!!!” I cry. “I never did. I still don’t. Eventhough, everyone says they love me. You know. You get it. I just want us ALL, to get along. I always have. Is that too much to ask?!?! ”  He looks at me, and says, No. But, that can’t fully happen, until EVERYONE forgives. And that happens, in each individual’s own time. Remember, your job, is to love, no matter what. I created YOU to LOVE, and BE LOVE. TRy to remember, the way they act towards you, is more about ME, than you. They mght not understand that, but it is true. ”


He looks at me, and says, “Is this helping precious?” I look up, and say, “Yes sir. Thank you. The other stuff, why does it keep coming back, to frighten me? He said, “Ah childhood fears and shadows. Yes dear. They simply pop up sometimes. Remember, the popcorn, we talked about. But, it will be alright. We will process together. I will ALWAYS be HERE for YOU. I will NEVER let YOU down.


When you pass through the waters, I will be with YOU; And through the rivers, they will not overwhelm you. when you walk through fire, you will not be scorched, Nor will the flame burn you.


#everywaterishealingwater LOVE


In His Grace,


15 Dec 2018

Highway to Heaven

What matters MOST… “Faith Hope and LOVE.” These are the LYRICS. on today. Especially LOVE it emphasizes. “Are WE LOVING each other LOVING our brother? ” This Lyric continues. Next song on…. “Beyond Justice to Mercy” Oh MY this SONG hits ME HARD. Jesus knows. I recall singing it DEEPLY. As He comes knocking on my MUSIC studio. Knowing, I am still, a tiny bit saddened, bout the broken string. He says, “it is okay. It has purpose. ” Because, at this point, I have happily opened the door and let HIM in. To the house, that is my Cabin. It is my safe place. And, He says, I know beautiful one, in a perfect world, things would NEVER break. But, remember humpty dumpty. All the kings horses and ALL the kings men, could not put him togethere again. But, good news. I CAN!!!!!. I can do ANYTHING!!!! Nothing is impossible for ME!”

Smiles from me. As the song in my music studio….plays on the radio. Gloria….. In an effort to praise YOU…. I look UP and say, ” YOU know JUST what to say to ME, ALWAYS.” Thank you for travelling with me. In every single vehicle you choose. It is such an, ENJOYABLE journey. True, it is NOT always EASY, but you and our FAMILY, are so VERY faithful. Truly, it is beautiful. Fresh, and new. Thank you, for loving me, and allowing me, and us, the gift to love you too. And to share that LOVE.

He looks up, and says, ” I am so PROUD of you!”  YOU did so great, and YOU are doing so WELL! You are truly living the life, you are supposed to now. He smiles. It is just going to get better. You will see.


Continuing On…  ( 12/ 13/18 ) Yesterday, I heard this Song…. “Id Sure Hate To Break Down Here.” It is a country song. And, I am such a cowgirl at heart. Smiles. Jesus knows. Today, I so am at this RANCH in the Heavenlies. One of my VERY favorite places. “Rainbow Ranch. AKA, Promises. I actually LOVE to break down here. So, as that song plays. I look at Jesus, and say, Opposite day HUH? He smiles. He knows, YESTERDAY was seriously ROUGH on me. And, that I need THIS to recoupourate.  I have this DEAR friend, who has a blog, called “I SEE Jesus. ” And, like a child playing the game I spy, I giggle. He literally has a spare TIRE. I say, what is THAT for? He says, come HERE…. I want to show you something. So, I go out to the barn. The most colorful barn. It is ALL paint spattered. Rainbow. And there is a specific car there. And He says, look at the tires. there are 4. One is shredded. I said, how did that happen? He said, It does not matter. It needs fixin’. Let’s work together to replace it. We could actually literally fix it, and make it work. But it is better to replace it, with LOVE. Yes. In this case, WE will replace it, with LOVE. and it will SUSTAIN through. LOVE sustains. I start to cry. He says, why are you crying. I say, ” I tried to do it again. I fell into that old dumb trap of trying to fix EVERYTHING my self, again. I thought I was done with that. I am so VERY sorry. When will I be finished with that? Seriously, what is wrong with ME?” That song plays quietly again… UGH…that song. Jesus smiles. “You didn’t do anything bad. ” “I didn’T?????” NO!” He says. ” I am not a GOD of guilt and CONDEMNATION. I am a GOD of LOVE and ADORATION. You know that precious. No need for you to beat yourself up. Receive the GRACE. It is OKAY, to break down. Completely OKAY. ”






As the song, “You are MY Hiding Place ” Plays 🙂


He says, “You wanna play Hide and Seek?” I say, YES! I LOVE that game!!!!! I have not played it in AGES. Who goes first? He says, “Your choice. So, I think about it, for a minute, and I say, “You go first, because, YOU will know, where I am hiding. Giggles. So He agrees. And, then goes to hide. And, we play. Next thing I know, we begin to play. And He begins, to kinda, say… ” You are getting warmer, or colder. I giggle. Loving the hints. Oh, our merciful and childlike, amazing JESUS!!!!! As, the song, “LIFTED UP ON ANGELS” Comes ON . YES.  #HEAVENSPEAKS


“Darkness cannot reach us, let the angels teach us, ONLY LOVE REMAINS. Lifted UP on ANGELS. ”  (ashton,becker dente)



THERE WILL BE HEALING, RESTORATION and RENEWAL. THESE ARE PROMISES HE MAKES TO US. HE does NOT LIE. WE are ON HEAVEN’s HIGHWAY. It just HAPPEN’s TO BE on EARTH. But, IF YOU look for IT, you will SEE it, HERE. It is HIDDEn, and yet NOT. It takes GRACE to see it, that is for CERTAIN. Often, it feels like it is concealed behind a curtain, or a veil. Yet the veil is torn.



Years ago, there literally was a tv show, called “Highway to Heaven. ” It was a VERY significant show. BROKE through MANY barriers. To this day, if you watch it, you can still learn quite a lot. Truly, we have watched it a few times, and kind of been in awe, of what is still present, and true. The number one theme is that LOVE wins, and humility is key.



“You have a WAY of turning winter to spring. Making something beautiful, from ALL this suffering. here, I am one again, in need of resurrection. YES. a beautiful. representation. Make me whole again. Take the pieces. make me whole again. ” (Margaret Becker)


All that Glitters is NOT always GOLD ~~~ But HIS Heart makes us BOLD #JOY in JESUS # WALKONBYTHEYUCK


Now the song….Let your LIGHT SHINE DOWN on ME …LOVE this song 🙂 …so SIMPLE yet so profound. I look UP at JESUS.

With my EYES of WONDER. Before I can speak, He takes His hands, and touches my head. He says, RENEWAL of your MIND. For I know you feel so weary, beautiful one. Then, He touches, my heart, and says, strengthening here. And a guard to be set here, of protection. I smile. I sit still and quiet, as the master physician, takes great care of ME. Yes, Dr, Mc Jesus . Smiles. Oh, how I love LOVE THEE. Let ME count the ways. I stand in AWE of your LOVE and GRACE. Truly, you take me out of every ounce of grey, I have every had. THANK you, does not seem sufficient. Even the song now, says, “How can WE thank you?”   So WE sing unto YOU . Love you so much.



May you be encouraged THIS day to come to the ONE who LOVES you most, and give HIM, your ALL in ALL. You will NOT regret it. #LIVINGPROOF. Be the miracle. IT could truly, save a life. You absolutely can DO ALL things, through CHRIST who GIVES you, strength. ALL things.





11 Dec 2018

Fresh Eyes ~ New Fruit

I really had to ASK about the title, this morning. Sometimes, there is just a hecticness, or a chaos in the air around, the atmosphere. But, thank GOD the Grace. I have learned, over the years, that often, HE is in the midst of THIS working diligently. He is many times, performing GREAT and mighty miracles, and healings. FOR He, is a WONDERFUL and LOVING GOd. The years end, of the calendar year, always just appears more crazy. As a child, I used to love the wonder, of holidays. But, quite frankly, they have just changed. But, JESUS has not changed. Thank GOD for THAT!.



This morning, I came upon HIM, and though usually I see HIm in the garden, Yes, it was the garden, but there was another surprise, for me. My best friend, giving me MORE LOVE. 🙂 SNOW!!!!!!!! Do you recall the blog, not that long ago, on snow? It was called, LET it SNow! 🙂 🙂 🙂  Well, in the garden today, there is SNOW, EVERYWHERE!!!! I do MEAN EVERYWHERE! It LOOKS like a WINTERWONDERLAND!  And Jesus looks at Me and He says, “Hi beautiful!! How are you this fine day? Remember your DREAM? ”  I smile. Instantly knowing to what He refers. And I say, “He did not miss the snow, and neither did I. Tears of JOY Fall! Just as HE promised 🙂 WE both laugh with Glee. “That’s right,” He says. Smile. “Wanna play in the SNOW together ?” He Continues.  As the song, You are my Hiding place, Comes on….


Tears….  He says, “There is ALWAYS Healing HERE. My arms, ARE never COLD. THis world, is ALWAYS warm for YOU. It is ALWAYS HOME. My GOAL and JOB is to LOVE you. YOur JOB is to receive that LOVE. Also to let me use you, share and give it out. So proud of you. Both of you. ALL of you. ”


Tears Fall. I tell Him, “I am laying it ALL down, sometimes, EVERY single moment. With every breath. It is not just her, I miss. But, I refuse to focus on that. I choose YOU. Because, YOU deserve that. Thank you for the Grace to heal, Be real, be broken, grieve, just be me, cry, forgive, live, joy, pain, sunshine, rain, storms, and everything.”


All the Sudden, I am hit with a Snowball. Such JOY….. I laugh out loud. Quite literall, and LOUD. Can’t get mad. 🙂 Okay, I get it…. More JOY. I love you Jesus. #Mybestfriend 🙂 LOVE. Your LOVE, really, does…ALWAYS win.

The scene changes, and I suddenly view, JESUS and ME. WE are sledding down, a HILL. It is covered with rainbow SNOW. Wow, what a beautiful sight!!!! Sparkling with a bright light. Everything here, sparkles and shines. As the sing HERE plays GLORIA… YES. IN effort to Praise HIM. Yes. 🙂 Beautiful. In an effort to Praise HIM. 🙂 THis is as AWESOME adventure….NOTHING is impossible for GOD… NOTHING. and EVERYTHING is an AMAZING adventure! 🙂








Do you BELIEVE you are LOVED? If so, who do you believe, LOVES you?



THis SEASON, I encourage YOU, seek GOD on THIS. To TRULY examine HIM on this topic. My husband mentioned yesterday, that when we moved to, this state, He read the bible. FOR the VERY first time, HE read it cover to COVER. I mean, HE had read a FEW verses. But, He actually sat down, and READ the entire THING, EVERY single BOOK. It took A LOT of dedication. I marvelled at it ALL. To ME, it showed HIS dedication to GOD. When Sarah went HOME to Jesus, He did not read it, for a while, to be honest. So, I was quite glad, HE did that. It was like, HE had it stored up, for a winter of discontent. And, GOD knew. Because, as my husband likes to say, “God shops at Costco. wink . He give you the tools you need. For the trials, you are going through. smile.



Faith. Hope. Love.



The absolute GREATEST will ALWAYS BE LOVE….. NO matter what. ALWAYS show LOVE. ALWAYS. ~



IN His Grace,



07 Dec 2018

The Hope Tree

Funny that, I would be awakened. At 316. Isn’t is John 3:16 who says, “God so loved the world, that HE gave HIS only son. So that whoseoever believes in HIM, shall not perish, but have eternal LIFE? I’m fairly certain of that address. It is pretty engrained in my memory. I remember, seeing PILLARS as a child that houses this verse. There was a tornado, in my “home” town. Clarksville, TN is where I grew up. Such a beautiful place. But yeah, as a kid, I sure did NOT appreciate that. I mean, sometimes I saw it. But, you get it. I remember thinking when those pillars remained, how significant. One has the Lord’s Prayer. The other, houses John 3:16. The whole Sanctuary, is just BEAUTIFUL, because of these 2 pillars. To me, it is like a mom and dad. Those that HOLD us, and GROUND us, and root us, in LOVE.




The scene Begins Here…..


Jesus is sitting under this HEAVEN made TREE. I have never scene anything like it. It has rainbow leaves. Yet, because, I do spend quite a lot of time HERE, it just FEELS like HOME. And I think, THIS looks familiar. So Jesus says, “YOU have scene it! Then He laughs with PURE Joy. He said, YOU have scene it, just NOT on EARTH yet. ” wink .  I can’t help but say, “OH, that’s it!!!!.” Just like Him, I am in full JOY mode. 🙂  So I sat down, as He patted for me to. I asked Jesus, what do you want me to write about. He said, “Your style is going to change some.” So I am thinking, “My writing style?” He can read my thoughts, so He just smiles at me. LOVE .  Yes, THIS is what REAL LOVE looks like. The best brother, I could EVER have. He knows the deep desire for connection. He placed it, within me. WE ALL have this. But circumstances, often shadow it, and twist and turn it. Only He can undo those tangiles.



He says to Me, As He sees my TEARS…. “It is okay to LET it GO. This is a SAFE place,” He continues. “I am NOT looking for perfect my precious child. This is where, HEALING continues. HOPE is renewed. Burdens are lifted. FREEDOM comes. JOY surfaces. THIS is HOME. My arms, are ALWAYS YOUR HOME. ”



MORE tears FALL. Night time, is the hardest for me. I try not to complain. But, it JUST is. I very RARELY sleep through the night. I wake up, and I just crawl into HIS arms. BECAUSE, it is my SECURITY. It is my HOPE TREE. And in our lives, it sure has felt, like hope deferred. But feelings can just lie, to US.



And He looks up, at me, and says, “I know THIS is not comfortable, in so many ways. But, in others, YOU know, it is right. Let me explain. The discomfort, will fade, because, the truth is, YOU know, what must BE. You know where your HOPE is. That by our Father’s Grace, I must be the KEY to EVERYTHING.  There is such beauty, in HIS eyes. I truly get LOST in them. Just as Debbie Gibson said, as a kid, I would listen and sing. As would I to Susan Ashton, Michael W. Smith, Steven Curtis Chapman, Amy Grant and countless others. I listened and sang to ALL kinds of artists. Even artists now, I listen, sing and pray for them. LOVE. This is how WE can LOVE. A phrase keeps coming to me. “Be the Miracle.”



Jesus sees me, thinking, and He says, “YOU are. JUST by being YOU. WE created YOU ALL, as miracles, and with many miracles within. ” He smiles. He says, There is such beautiful POWER in you ALL. It just has to be pointed, in the right direction. It works BEST, when you ALL work together.” But, even 2 of YOU, make a BIG difference. Suddenly, I see this beautiful familiar face. Jesus smiles. SURPRISE!!!!!! I hear her say, “Hi Momma!” I am so glad, you came to the garden today! Tears. She says,” I know Mamma.”  She goes on to say, but hey guess what, THINGS are GREAT here!!!!! Classes are AMAZING. It is quite busy, in the most beautiful way. So much is coming FULL CIRCLE.” She says, I only had a minute to come by. But, I wanted to come, and give you a hug and a kiss. I LOVE YOU. And, I LOVE daddy David too. Remember THAT. Good things, are coming. WONDERFUL ones. And just like Jesus taught us, He will get you through the tough stuff.”



So I look at Jesus, and say, “That was HIS idea huh? ” He says, “Actually it was Mama and Papa. LOVE But, YES.” WE laugh out loud. Smiles.



Then WE talk about a song. The first one that was playing as I sat down. it is called “Ball and Chain.” The lyrics that stand out to me are these….

“ALL of US have a HEARTACHE. ALL of US, have been STAINED. ALL of US, YEARN for FREEDOM, but THERE’s ONLY one WHO can BREAK, THIS BALL and CHAIN.” (Susan Ashton)

He says, “It is TRUE you know. I AM the ONLY one who can BREAK, EVERY single CHAIN. AND, they WILL fall to the ground, MY LOVE wins. Remember that. As you SHOW, and SHARE my LOVE, GRACE and MERCY, you will see. There is NO DARK, I cannot go, and shine the LIGHT. WE can GO together, and YOU will be SAFE, within ME. YOU’ll SEE.  You don’t have to SUFFER in Silence. ”



That song comes on “Suffer in Silence” (Susan Ashton)  “You don’t have to suffer, Suffer in Silence. I know that the pain can seem like an ocean, but I’m just a word away. ”   So MANY years, I did just THAT. I suffered in silence, YET, HE never left my side. He patiently waited for ME. In fact, HE Never TOOK HIS hands  off my LIFE. I will never forget, the day, WE began to speak again. I was about to be pregnant with Sarah. But, I did not know that. I just knew, I needed HIM. I had become such an ANGRY and bitter child. My heart aches, just thinking of that time. Father, forgive me. Help ME, forgive ME. I was entitled, and quite selfish. And, I had a lot of unforgiveness in my heart. I left the place, where, I was officially born. Because quite frankly, I was TIRED of EVERYTHING there. There were things I loved, and people too. But, I desperately NEEDED something different. And, I sure did FIND it. And how….but GOD.



Who sent ME on that JOURNEY? One word. JESUS. But, I did NOT know then. I just knew, I had to GO. Everyone, tried to talk me OUT of it. I do MEAN EVERYONE. But, I was determined. In some ways, I was just kind of hell bent. But, REALLY I wanted to learn to BEND towards HEAVEN. Because, I knew, if I could do that, things would BE BETTER. Somewhere inside, I had this spark, that just refused to go out. It sure did flicker, and man, it seemed DULL at times, the flame, but it never stopped. Some call it a LIFE force. But, I know, it is HIS LOVE. I know it, because, my heart has stopped before. It is the ONLY time, that the flame, actually did not burn. And it was just for 5 minutes. Grace. Oh my the Grace.. I still carry that scar. But God. His LOVE has marked me.



Jesus says to ME, as I reflect and REMEMBER…. “Memories can be hard to handle. A rollercoaster for you. So let’s so THIS my way. A little at a time. Like taking a bandage off, of a wound.” He touches my heart. JOY, AWESTRUCK WONDER and LIFE fill me, with HEAVENLY electricity and charge. FORGIVE again, again, again, again, again, again, again, again, again, and LIVE again. MORE Grace be upon you. I look up in the sky, and I see shooting stars, and rainbows, and butterflies. I look to the right in the garden, and I see Safari animals. Jesus says, “You know what THIS is about.” I smile. “I keep my promises,” He says.



There was this one situation, weighing on my heart. He knows, I do not like confrontation, or stirring up trouble. But sometimes, it is just inevitable. So, He assures ME, and REassures ME, it is ALL good. “I will give you the words to say. She knows your heart, and mine. It will ALL work out fine. BREATHE.”   I sigh, in relief. And before I can ask HIm. He says, “And those other things, just a matter of timing.”

#comingVERYsoon .  LOVE.


Again, the SONG “Be still and KNOW” comes on. This seems to be a theme. LOVE  He listens with ME. He says, “In the stillness, there is renewal. There is reflection. there is Grace. There is Peace. I am HERE MOST, in the still ness. All the things, you NEVER got to do, can happen, HERE. ALL the wonderful, beautiful, just GLORIOUS adventures, happen HERE. REST in ME, beautiful ONE. I have so GOT this covered. YOU will NOT FAIL.


Psalm 46:10 BE STILL and KNOW, HE is GOD !!!!!!!

In His Grace,






04 Dec 2018

DRessed for Rehearsal

Often, I have no intention of writing. It just kind of spills out on the page. And today, I woke up at 3 am, knowing something. One week from today, life will change again. Tears. I trust God completely. As the song, on the radio, is “My Father’s Hands” (Susan Ashton). Any time I have an ounce of doubt, i hand that over to HIM, and say thank you, for cancelling THIS out. Not because, I am better than someone else. Lord knows, I am NOT. It is simply something, I HAVE to do. And, that I GET to do, by HIS Grace.




I keep asking HIM, Am I ready for THIS. THIS BiiiiiiiiiiiiG thing? And you know HIS answer? “You were made for THIS.” You were made to SHINE my LOVE. Tears. Part of ME, honestly just still doesn’t feel ready. But, do WE ever feel completely ready or even worthy, of letting JESUS use us? so, that I give to HIM to. Yes, just like a stuffed animal, I can’t hold onto. Just like I willingly, gave so MUCH else. He knows. WE have given HIM, EVERYTHING, He has asked for. and, would do it again. Because honestly, it is HIS anyway.



Back to the title of the entry. My husband and I, have ONE major common ground. It is the FUEL that keeps us togethere and going. it is JESUS. That is not something, I say lightly, or from a place, of religiosity. It is a FACT. WE would be NO MORE, without HIM, and in specific, HIS Grace. The tititle, has to do, with what, WE saw. As kids, WE both watched our “families” perform. As adults, we still well, batlle the images at times. Because, in so many ways, it was just horrible. I want to be clear, neither of us, holds any blame. Because, WE know, that YOU can’t give what YOU do not have. Meaning, THEY did what THEY saw. They put on a show, because, they were raised that way. But neither, He nor I, liked it We did not enjoy, looking like, WE were one thing….and BEING another. Have you ever experienced that?



I would bet, that many readers have. Because, there were a few generations, that did this. God used it for good. There is no question. It is just time to stop, and to be more real…



To THIS day, it HAS been something, THAT EVEN though, WE try hard, to BE authentic, diligently break the mold, and do it differently; WE fight. Yet, WE can also REJOICE, and as this song on now “Be still and KNOW He is God” (SCC) . In that stillness, there is healing. There is the reminder, that YOU, nor ANY other single soul, including ANY enemy, will mess up the plans of GOD. They will go forth!!!!! THAT is GREAT news!!!!! You might go through challenges, and difficulties. You will feel like a winner, and at times, a loser. Jesus did too.  And He FEELS with you. That helps me, to REMEMBER that.




Humbling can happen, when WE receive, and when WE give up, or it feels like something is taken. But, NOTHING, is ever really stolen from GOD. Remember, it says, the enemy comes, to steal, kill, and destroy. It never says, he can. It never says, he has that power. It says, he comes, to try. So, WE speak Grace Grace again. WE thank JESUS for victory. The VICTORY He provides to US. Because, HE LOVES US. It IS THAT simple. BECAUSE WE are LOVED, there is HEALING available, and true FREEDOM.



I have times in LIFE, where I miss what WAS. People say, ‘You would not be human , if YOU did not.”  I don’t just MISS what was with Sarah. Contrary, to popular belief… But, just like the last song said, “I just Showed UP for MY Own Life.” (Sara Groves). I can’t stare at OLD reflections. I have to trust GOD, that HIS LOVE shatters the yuck, and restores the GOOD. He always told me, “The fruit, will SPEAK for ITSELF.” That has NEVER been untrue. In EVERY sense….it ALWAYS does.



So ARE WE dressed for REhearsal? Well, this is NOT a performance, like a play, or a film. Yet, it WILL be forfront, and will likelely show UP on stage. It is a REAL and LIVE TRUE PERFORMANCE of HIS LOVE. As the SONG on, “Beyond Justice to Mercy.” (Susan Ashton) This is a FAVORITE of mine, from when I was a child. I sang it, over and over. As I listen to it now. I remember well the lyrics. “THOUGH the distance seems so far. The love that USED to hold our hearts. LONGS to take US BEYOND Justice, to MERCY. Going, MORE than Halfway to FORGIVE.”





As I am listening to THIS….



I see Jesus. And He is taking me through a HALLWAY, of forgiveness. I see MANY faces. And there are check marks. I ask HIM, why the check marks, He nods, and says , “YOU have forgiven them.”  There is another hallway to the left. It is darker. I ask, is that a forgiveness hallway too. He says, “YES, But, it is NOT yours. But you will notice, it has a connector. You see how all the hallways connect?” I stood in awe as yes, they ALL connected. It reminded me, of the scene from the kids film, “Monster’s Inc.” For those, of you, who have scene it. They have doors, that lead to rooms. Well, this was similar. The hallways, were either light or dark. And, JESUS is the door, and the KEY. I tell HIM, about my thoughts, regarding the film. He smiles. He says, “I remember, when WE watched that. The VERY first time, TOGETHER.” Tears. I cry. He knows why.



He says, “You know, she is doing great here. ONE of my VERY best TEACHERS, and student too. wink YOU both DID so well. YOU still ARE doing so well still. WE know it is NOT always easy. Tears. I tell HIM, “I just don’t feel qualified. He says, “Well YOU are not qualified. But, I AM, and I live in YOU. Smile. WE are better together. Always.



Let’s practice… You always said, “Practice makes Permanent, and I make it perfect” He says. He taught me the first part, through a beautiful little angel butterfly. WE were watching a show, called Calliou, and they said something. They had said, “Practice makes perfect.” And Jesus said, “Practice makes permanent, but I make it perfect.” #beautifulmemories



. The next thing I know, there is this HUGE stage. It is beautiful too. Jesus goes to sit, in what looks like a judges seat. Though, He gives me that look. The one, that reminds me, HE is CHEERING me ON, not actually judging ME, per se. So, He sits there, and I see HIM. And He says, “Whenever YOU are ready, My LOVE.” I look to the right, and there are beautiful flowers, all colors, of the rainbow. To the left, the same thing. In Front of ME, Jesus is sitting there, and He is waiting patiently. I begin to sing.



He knows, the song I am singing, is NOT the ONE, I am using. But, He listens, and just enjoys it.  After I finish, He lovingly says, “Again.” Does not fuss at me, or criticize me, or yell at me. I said, ” I did not do the right song.” He said , “YOU can not and will NOT mess this up, my beautiful one.” Tears.

“And HE walks WITH me, and TALKS with Me, and tells ME, I am HIS own. And the JOY we share, as WE TARRY there, none other, has EVER known. ”

It begins….”I come to the GARDEN alone.”

He had come over to me, And Put His arm around me, when He told me I would not mess up. I thanked HIM. I asked HIM, “Why does this seem so hard for ME?” He says, “Because it is NOT how YOU pictured IT would BE. Tears. Oh how true that is.

He shows me, a scene from a film. It is the film, “Steel Magnolias.” In the scene, Sally Fields character, is crying in front of her friends. It is right after her daughter, “passes, dies, goes.” Whatever word, you want to use, she is not physically here anymore. And, this woman, quite frankly is angry. I don’t think she was mad at God. I think she just was ANGRY at the circumstances.



I went through THAT. I sometimes still do. But, I made a choice, and it was this. I chose to feel angry, but NOT Be angry. Jesus says, “You felt like this, and you wanted HER here. That is why, she told you BOTH, the message. Remember, Father sent her early on. She said, “It is critical to STAY surrendered.” She was speaking about, during the season, of BLESSING. “Wow.” I say. Tears I cry. Nothing happening, is a surprise to you. Thank you for the Grace, to carry US through. He smiles, and cries with me. “My pleasure, beautiful One. Truly, you are A gift to ME.”



Jesus smiles again. He says, “Remember singing this hymn, as a child with your mom and dad in church?” I smile. #happymemories. Time with MY VERY best friend. THERE is NOTHING like it. I am so thankful, that HE knows ALL sees ALL, and comforts us in process. Because, LIFE seems to be getting more surreal, not less surreal. And I am choosing, to TRUST HE, is the REAL deal in it. By HIS Grace, WE can BE. He will show up, and things will go, as they should.



My parents are with HIM now. I am grateful, most days, that is the case. Because, I know they are supposed to BE there. Same as MANY I, and WE LOVE, thankful they are safe and sound. God sends people into our lives. Some comes for reasons, seasons and lifetimes. Only JESUS knows, who will be there for a lifetime. WE simply have, to treasure, every moment. Time, is fleeting. In a blink, it is often gone. WE must pray and praise God, for the good and trust in HIM for healing , areas that have been tough or bad. He will, HE never EVER fails. and HIS LOVE absolutely, wins, EVERY single time.




If I speak in tounges of men and of angels, but have not LOVE, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. (1 Corinthians 13:1)


In His Grace,





03 Dec 2018

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