Monthly Archives: May 2015

Seeing the UGLY Truth

Today is a NEW day of FREEDOM. Yesterday, someone who loves me, said something to me. In fact, Jesus used this person to speak it. The person said, “You must NOT believe even, the MOST well dressed lie. Something broke in me, when this was said. I cannot even explain it. My husband and I were praying and talking. He said, “Honey, remember that movie we watched?” I wondered which one, and asked accordingly. He could not recall the title, but started referring to actors, and movies they may have played in. So, I went on a hunt to figure out which movie it was. Finally, it was revealed that the movie was called, “The UGLY Truth.”

In this movie, a woman who is a studio producer, encounters a man who is a radio show host, making a transition to TV. Now, this man is NOT a bad man per se. But, He is NOT exactly her kind of man either. They are like fire and ice. Eventually, one thing leads to another, and they fall in “love.” Now, it is VERY much a typical world film. Looking past that, at the core it is 2 hurt people coming together to hurt less. In relation to my LIFE, I had to face the UGLY truth about some things. TRUTH does not always look or sound friendly. But, TRUTH, even spoken brutally, has some purpose.

I personally, receive A LOT better when someone speaks TRUTH in kindness, with compassion and understanding. Maybe that is just me, but I doubt it. 😉 The worst TRUTH I have ever had to face, is LIFE will NEVER be picture perfect. No matter how GREAT the picture may appear, there are always hidden flaws. Often the diamonds with those hidden flaws sparkle the most, and are most beautiful. I have had a picture in my head, that I don’t even think I came up with. I laid down the desire to have that. But, until yesterday the picture still kind of stayed in the background. NOT anymore though, and to GOD be the GLORY.

I lived in a house where we were not supposed to “air our dirty laundry.” Yet, if the laundry never reached the air, no matter how much it was washed, it might NOT get clean. Our pictures looked great. But, behind closed doors, there were SO many secrets. Some of them came out, and usually I was to blame. So, I became hurt and angry and at times vengeful. I was not the ONLY one, but for some reason, I was the most OBVIOUS one. The UGLY truth is, I was a brat a lot of the time. Because, I just did not know how to do things differently.

Some thought I enjoyed it. I suppose it could look that way. But, what I really wanted was a LOVING and HAPPY FAMILY. I did NOT want to hide behind the picture. In fact, for parents who talked about Jesus, I wanted THAT. I craved to SEE that, and stop seeing the ugliness. GOD did not and does not see me as a brat. Yet, He does not and will not permit me to justify my behavior either. I realized that I was the teen who took boyfriends out to dark places, just to “get away” with something. I had no clue how BAD of an idea that was. It was NOT discussed, and when I tried, it was shut down.

I’m going on 39 years old. There is A LOT I have done wrong in my life. But, to GOD all that matters is what is done right. He erases ALL the errors, and keeps no record of ANY wrong. So, why do we? The UGLY truth IS the BEST DRESSED LIE. Meaning, the things that come from guilt, shame, hurt, anger, and all negative emotions, are what the enemy counts on to snare us.

Today begins a BRAND NEW SEASON of TRUTH. Not the UGLY TRUTH anymore. Ready for the TRUTH of Heaven? Someone recently spoke of Cinderella. I had know idea that this story originally had a Godly theme. But, it does make sense to me, on so many levels. I heard the same person say she felt more like the ugly step sister. I believe JESUS wants us to understand, WE don’t have to be just Cinderella or the UGLY step sister. We could have aspects of both. BUT, when ALL of these are surrendered b4 God, then our prince takes His place.

The last 3 days have been VERY interesting. Life is a lot like the ocean. It is beautiful, deep at times, sparkling, has danger, and can be healing. Time at the BEACH is always a gift. I could not help but think of how the weekend began. It began with utter chaos, and everyone NOT wanting to go. So, of course, WE knew that WE would go. Then, there were appointments, and misunderstandings. There were a few things that could have been quite complicated. But God. The first place we stayed was okay. Out of the many places we had been, it was NOT the worst. We enjoyed a wonderful conference. Then, today, while in the water, something happened to us.

I realized that when I began FACING the UGLY TRUTH, my husband did too. Plus, our kids, and ultimately others we would come in contact with. You SEE, the UGLIEST TRUTH when surrendered before God will bring healing, when WE see HIS way. David was in the ocean, and we began to check the time, knowing there was a plan to head back. But, it is funny how God moves in the process. He ALWAYS SEES the PURE TRUTH. He gives us GRACE while HE ERASES the UGLY. He replaces HELL with HEAVEN, but ONLY when WE receive it.

2 Corinthians 5:17 ESV / 4 helpful votes

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.

John 3:16-17 ESV / 4 helpful votes

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.

John 1:12 ESV / 4 helpful votes

But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God,

1 John 1:9 ESV / 3 helpful votes

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Romans 12:1-2 ESV / 3 helpful votes

I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

Romans 6:23 ESV / 3 helpful votes

For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 3:23 ESV / 3 helpful votes

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,

John 10:10 ESV / 3 helpful votes

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.

John 3:16 ESV / 3 helpful votes

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

Proverbs 3:5-6 ESV / 3 helpful votes

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.

Exodus 20:13 ESV / 3 helpful votes

“You shall not murder.

Genesis 1:26-27 ESV / 3 helpful votes

Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

Revelation 6:1-17 ESV / 2 helpful votes

Now I watched when the Lamb opened one of the seven seals, and I heard one of the four living creatures say with a voice like thunder, “Come!” And I looked, and behold, a white horse! And its rider had a bow, and a crown was given to him, and he came out conquering, and to conquer. When he opened the second seal, I heard the second living creature say, “Come!” And out came another horse, bright red. Its rider was permitted to take peace from the earth, so that people should slay one another, and he was given a great sword. When he opened the third seal, I heard the third living creature say, “Come!” And I looked, and behold, a black horse! And its rider had a pair of scales in his hand. …

Revelation 3:20 ESV / 2 helpful votes

Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.

1 John 5:3 ESV / 2 helpful votes

For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome.

1 John 3:4 ESV / 2 helpful votes

Everyone who makes a practice of sinning also practices lawlessness; sin is lawlessness.

James 4:7 ESV / 2 helpful votes

Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

James 4:6 ESV / 2 helpful votes

But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”

Hebrews 11:6 ESV / 2 helpful votes

And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.

Philippians 4:13 ESV / 2 helpful votes

I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

Ephesians 2:8-9 ESV / 2 helpful votes

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.

Ephesians 1:4 ESV / 2 helpful votes

Even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love

2 Corinthians 12:9 ESV / 2 helpful votes

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

2 Corinthians 5:21 ESV / 2 helpful votes

For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

1 Corinthians 13:1-13 ESV / 2 helpful votes

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; …

1 Corinthians 10:13 ESV / 2 helpful votes

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 ESV / 2 helpful votes

Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

1 Corinthians 6:9-10 ESV / 2 helpful votes

Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.

Romans 13:10 ESV / 2 helpful votes

Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.

Romans 12:3 ESV / 2 helpful votes

For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned.

Romans 8:37 ESV / 2 helpful votes

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

Romans 8:31 ESV / 2 helpful votes

What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?

Romans 5:8 ESV / 2 helpful votes

But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Romans 1:26-27 ESV / 2 helpful votes

For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature; and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error.

John 14:6 ESV / 2 helpful votes

Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

John 8:32 ESV / 2 helpful votes

And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

John 3:3 ESV / 2 helpful votes

Jesus answered him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.”

Matthew 24:1-51 ESV / 2 helpful votes

Jesus left the temple and was going away, when his disciples came to point out to him the buildings of the temple. But he answered them, “You see all these, do you not? Truly, I say to you, there will not be left here one stone upon another that will not be thrown down.” As he sat on the Mount of Olives, the disciples came to him privately, saying, “Tell us, when will these things be, and what will be the sign of your coming and of the close of the age?” And Jesus answered them, “See that no one leads you astray. For many will come in my name, saying, ‘I am the Christ,’ and they will lead many astray. …

Matthew 11:28 ESV / 2 helpful votes

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

Matthew 6:25-34 ESV / 2 helpful votes

“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. …

Daniel 9:24-27 ESV / 2 helpful votes

“Seventy weeks are decreed about your people and your holy city, to finish the transgression, to put an end to sin, and to atone for iniquity, to bring in everlasting righteousness, to seal both vision and prophet, and to anoint a most holy place. Know therefore and understand that from the going out of the word to restore and build Jerusalem to the coming of an anointed one, a prince, there shall be seven weeks. Then for sixty-two weeks it shall be built again with squares and moat, but in a troubled time. And after the sixty-two weeks, an anointed one shall be cut off and shall have nothing. And the people of the prince who is to come shall destroy the city and the sanctuary. Its end shall come with a flood, and to the end there shall be war. Desolations are decreed. And he shall make a strong covenant with many for one week, and for half of the week he shall put an end to sacrifice and offering. And on the wing of abominations shall come one who makes desolate, until the decreed end is poured out on the desolator.”

Jeremiah 29:11 ESV / 2 helpful votes

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Isaiah 53:1-12 ESV / 2 helpful votes

Who has believed what he has heard from us? And to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed? For he grew up before him like a young plant, and like a root out of dry ground; he had no form or majesty that we should look at him, and no beauty that we should desire him. He was despised and rejected by men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. But he was wounded for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his stripes we are healed. …

Proverbs 31:30 ESV / 2 helpful votes

Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

Proverbs 3:5 ESV / 2 helpful votes

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.

Psalm 51:17 ESV / 2 helpful votes

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.

Job 31:15 ESV / 2 helpful votes

Did not he who made me in the womb make him? And did not one fashion us in the womb?

Exodus 20:3 ESV / 2 helpful votes

“You shall have no other gods before me.

Genesis 2:1 ESV / 2 helpful votes

Thus the heavens and the earth were finished, and all the host of them.

Genesis 1:31 ESV / 2 helpful votes

And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good. And there was evening and there was morning, the sixth day.

Genesis 1:1-31 ESV / 2 helpful votes

In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was without form and void, and darkness was over the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters. And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. And God saw that the light was good. And God separated the light from the darkness. God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And there was evening and there was morning, the first day. …



I don’t always act like a GREAT wife, mom, friend, daughter, and more.

I am NOT perfect.

I am NOT always happy.


I AM A GREAT MOM, because JESUS is GREAT in me.

HE is perfect, even when I falter. He loves my surrender before HIM.

I am ALWAYS CONTENT and FULL OF JOY, BECAUSE HE LOVES ME. No matter how it appears.

I was thinking today about a shattered mirror. So many sharp pieces that can cut us. But, surrendered before God, WE see HIS image, as He places each piece in it’s proper place. Such a GIFT to be LOVED by HIM. Others will let us down sometimes. THAT is inevitable. We cannot change another person. But, WE can LOVE them anyway. THIS is how they will SEE the pure TRUTH and turn from the UGLY.


31 May 2015

You Want To Hold the Intangible

novedad_78Hope-sees-the-invisibleFor weeks, I have been seeking wisdom from the Lord on this post. I knew when it was given, that it would probably be one of the MOST gutwrenching entries, I have ever been used to write. When I was a child, all I remember is my parents trying to appease me. My brothers saw me get lots of attention, and a lot of stuff. To them, it looked like I had a perfect life. To them, and to many others, there was nothing to complain about.

But, the TRUTH is, my life was not what I saw as perfect. Don’t get me wrong, because I had a roof over my head, parents who loved me, and most basic needs provided for. But, I did NOT really know LOVE. It is still a daily struggle, to receive LOVE, even though it should be something that just comes natural. It just NEVER has to me, except with children. I can LOVE any child on the planet. In fact, I can connect with children, and animals, better than most adults. I guess, because they can SEE God in me. They LOVE HIM, and it seems most others either want to use HIM, or reject HIM on the spot. SO few just receive. I did not know how. Everywhere I looked seemed to be the wrong direction. I lived a very isolated life. Even when I was with others, I was never really present.

I remember my mother would hug me, and I would pull away. It wasn’t that she did NOT care. IT was that when she hugged me, I did not just feel LOVE. I felt so much more than that. I pulled away, because I could not handle the pain. Sometimes being around others, can be so intense for me, that I have to take days away, just to recuperate. No one understood then, and few do now. It is not an easy existence, because most days, I feel I just do NOT belong here. I wonder why God still has me here? Only He knows for sure.

But, perhaps, it is to help me appreciate the gift of the intangible. Maybe God will connect me with others whose testimony is like a treasure hunt. Those who suffered in silence, for whatever reason, and need  voice or platform, are crying out. The LOST need to be found. Time is running out, and it is time to LOVE anyway. It is time to forgive often, and choose HIS way, everyday. Sometimes people will agree, and others they will agree to disagree. But, nonetheless, it is NOT time to speak ill of others. On the contrary, it is indeed time to speak LIFE. It is time to speak HEAVEN to come.

According to definition, to be intangible means, unable to touch.

It seems my whole life has been ONE of a search for the tangible. In fact, don’t most of us do this? Don’t we admire those who tangibly have a strong testimony? Isn’t it the obvious that usually gets acknowledged? I mean, when something is the best or lasts the longest, that can be intangible and tangible. I suppose it depends on perception.  As a child I wanted friends. I saw them as tangible representations of love. Everywhere I looked around me seemed to be full of loss. I never fit. Very round whole, into very square peg. It just did not work.

It was like I was LOST and I could NOT be found. Yet, somehow in the midst of ALL the darkness around me, that often looked like light, He found me. As a child I remember vividly everyone telling me, “It is NOT about YOU.” I mean, this was drilled into my head. It was like a broken record that would NEVER ever stop playing. Occasionally, I would hear, “The world does NOT revolve around YOU.” They were right, but what they did not mention, or perhaps did not know was significant. It is about HOW MUCH God LOVES ME! It IS about HOW MUCH GOD LOVES ALL OF US!!!

As a child I was very affected by justification. I would justify everything. I would do it for fear that NO ONE would see the tangible in me. Because I could NOT see it.  A lot of times I justified my own sins, and indiscretions. I, of course, had to eventually repent before God, and ask forgiveness. People who don’t really know me, or us, often think I’m just a religious crazy person. That used to bother me. But, it does not as much as before. Because in scripture it says, that NOT everyone will understand.  It specifies that we should not expect them to get it, until they GET HIS LOVE.

So many people have a package waiting outside their hearts door. It is filled with LOVE, and the wonders of Heaven. But, because it is NOT TANGIBLE, to us it often goes unopened. The tangible things, like hugs and kisses, and kind words, and music, people, and movies, are so much easier to connect to. Or are they? We are designed to LOVE God. Yet, we get distracted by the world. WE are designed to be LOVED by GOD, yet we want to dictate how it looks or feels.

We want to HOLD the intangible….don’t we, don’t YOU???

When I was a teenager, I was attracted to Christian music. I mean, I loved ALL kinds of music. But, as a kid, there was something about people singing about God. It was tangible to me, though intangible to many. Anyway, there was a Christian folk singer I liked. Her name, Susan Ashton, and I remember buying a tape years ago. You know, back when those were a dime a dozen. 😉 There was a song she sang about this topic.


Hold The Intangible Lyrics

You’ve heard the stories
You’ve read the message in the pages
You consider crucifixion: is it fact or fiction for the ages
Did He really appear
Like they say that He did
Does it conquer the fear
Did He die so that we could live
You’d like to think that it’s true Oh, But you want to hold the intangible
To fashion the darkness into familiar shape
To see with your eyes
To know in your mind
Oh ye of so little faith
Only the heart, can hold the intangible
There is a chamber
In the soul of the believer
It holds reason in defiance
The demanding hand of science may not enter
But let’s just suppose how it would be
To trade all you know
For one ounce of true belief
Then you’d learn the peace of that placeOh, But you want to hold the intangible
To fashion the darkness into familiar shape
To see with your eyes
To know in your mind
Oh ye of so little faith
Only the heart, can hold the intangibleBut let’s just suppose how it would be
To trade all you know
For one ounce of true belief
Then you’d learn the peace of that place

Oh, But you want to hold the intangible
To fashion the darkness into familiar shape
To see with your eyes
To know in your mind
Oh ye of so little faith
Only the heart, can hold the intangible

You want to hold the intangible

Oh, you want to hold the intangible.

Source: <a href=”” rel=”nofollow”>click here</a>

Only RECENTLY did I realize that I was holding the desire to have something tangible, as an idol of my heart. When you have had it, even for a little while, it is easy to miss when it is gone. I laid down the desire for things I can touch, and I do every single day lay down that desire. Do, I miss what was? Oh, so much sometimes it is tough to breathe. But, am I thankful for the GIFT to be able to LOVE tangibly? YES. I am thankful for my husband, our children, animals, friends, family members, and so much more.


Ecclesiastes 2 Amplified Bible (AMP)

I said in my mind, Come now, I will prove you with mirth and test you with pleasure; so have a good time [enjoy pleasure]. But this also was vanity (emptiness, falsity, and futility)!

I said of laughter, It is mad, and of pleasure, What does it accomplish?

I searched in my mind how to cheer my body with wine—yet at the same time having my mind hold its course and guide me with [human] wisdom—and how to lay hold of folly, till I might see what was good for the sons of men to do under heaven all the days of their lives.

I made great works; I built myself houses, I planted vineyards.

I made for myself gardens and orchards and I planted in them all kinds of fruit trees.

I made for myself pools of water from which to water the forest and make the trees bud.

I bought menservants and maidservants and had servants born in my house. Also I had great possessions of herds and flocks, more than any who had been before me in Jerusalem.

I also gathered for myself silver and gold and the treasure of kings and of the provinces. I got for myself men singers and women singers, and the delights of the sons of men—[a]concubines very many.

So I became great and increased more than all who were before me in Jerusalem. Also my wisdom remained with me and stood by me.

10 And whatever my eyes desired I kept not from them; I withheld not my heart from any pleasure, for my heart rejoiced in all my labor, and this was my portion and reward for all my toil.

11 Then I looked on all that my hands had done and the labor I had spent in doing it, and behold, all was vanity and a striving after the wind and a feeding on it, and there was no profit under the sun.

12 So I turned to consider [human] wisdom and madness and folly; for what can the man do who succeeds the king? Nothing but what has been done already.

13 Then I saw that even [human] wisdom [that brings sorrow] is better than [the pleasures of] folly as far as light is better than darkness.

14 The wise man’s eyes are in his head, but the fool walks in darkness; and yet I perceived that [in the end] one event happens to them both.

15 Then said I in my heart, As it happens to the fool, so it will happen even to me. And of what use is it then for me to be more wise? Then I said in my heart, This also is vanity (emptiness, vainglory, and futility)!

16 For of the wise man, the same as of the fool, there is no permanent remembrance, since in the days to come all will be long forgotten. And how does the wise man die? Even as the fool!

17 So I hated life, because what is done under the sun was grievous to me; for all is vanity and a striving after the wind and a feeding on it.

18 And I hated all my labor in which I had toiled under the sun, seeing that I must leave it to the man who will succeed me.

19 And who knows whether he will be a wise man or a fool? Yet he will have dominion over all my labor in which I have toiled and in which I have shown myself wise under the sun. This is also vanity (emptiness, falsity, and futility)!

20 So I turned around and gave my heart up to despair over all the labor of my efforts under the sun.

21 For here is a man whose labor is with wisdom and knowledge and skill; yet to a man who has not toiled for it he must leave it all as his portion. This also is vanity (emptiness, falsity, and futility) and a great evil!

22 For what has a man left from all his labor and from the striving and vexation of his heart in which he has toiled under the sun?

23 For all his days are but pain and sorrow, and his work is a vexation and grief; his mind takes no rest even at night. This is also vanity (emptiness, falsity, and futility)!

24 There is nothing better for a man than that he should eat and drink and make himself enjoy good in his labor. Even this, I have seen, is from the hand of God.

25 For who can eat or who can have enjoyment any more than I can—[b]apart from Him?

26 For to the person who pleases Him God gives wisdom and knowledge and joy; but to the sinner He gives the work of gathering and heaping up, that he may give to one who pleases God. This also is vanity and a striving after the wind and a feeding on it.

After a LONG hard look at ME, I have realized that I am not a huge fan of the tangible. The place that God has met me is intangible to most. But, yet I am learning that even when I want to hold the intangible, that it is still NOT about me, and it IS about how He LOVES. I pray every day, that He will LOVE through me not only in a intangible way, but someday a tangible one too.

Was thinking of the Velveteen Rabbit. I know there is an entry somewhere about it, on here. But, what I will say, is that LOVE made the rabbit become REAL. The LOVE of Jesus, and the Heavenly Father, as well as the HOLY Spirit, is intangible, at first. But, the more we receive it, the more TANGIBLE it becomes.

I invite you today to say YES to the intangible. Say Yes to the one who made you and LOVES you more than words can express. His Glory will shine, with or without us, but we were created to participate in Heaven’s arrival. Somewhere inside, the seed that He planted is still present. As LONG as your heart beats you still have choice. Choose HIS LOVE today.

In His Grace and Glory,

E and Fam


28 May 2015


originalRecently, on a day that the world celebrates Moms, WE celebrated the Holy Spirit. We did also celebrate the gift of being a momma too. But, have learned and are learning, it is THAT a gift. It is shared with US, and gifted from Heaven. This BLOG is an interesting one. I was in prayer this last year and a half, and I just often sat SILENT before God. I could barely speak. For a while, I did not speak much at all. It was strange, and unusual for me. It scared my husband a bit, because it was SO unlike ME. I mean, I LOVE people. I love GOD first, and anything else second. I had always been able to talk to HIM. I am a delayed reaction kind of person usually, especially with GOOD stuff. IT takes some time to absorb that. People kept telling us, we were angry at God, that I was. I just SAT, and listened.  It was in that time God spoke to me. He let HIS SONSHINE fall on me. I was built back up, and began healing deeper. His strength, through baby steps began to be renewed, resurrected and reflected.

You see JESUS LOVES you and ME just the way you are. He also loves US too much, to let you stay there. Let me explain this a bit more. YOU are absolute precious just the way you are. He desires us to come as we are before HIM. Yet, part of truly receiving and being wrapped up IN His LOVE is not to STAY as WE are. We can only change for GOOD by HIS LOVE changing us. It happens one bay step at a time. As I reflect on my life, much of it was full of the intangible. That is, what is unseen and tough to explain. I was brought into this world by FAITH, and the FAITH conquered the evil that was meant for me. It was NEVER faith in me. IT was always FAITH in God. Yet, no one seemed to LOVE me just the way I was. Have any of you felt that way? Do you have a DEEP almost gutteral desire, just to be loved?

Because I DO and did then, and it caused so many complications. Yet, the LORD kept watch over me. Even when I drew back, He never took His hand from me, in a way that was of lack, or meanness. I am so THANKFUL that Jesus accepts us JUST as WE ARE. He is a JUST GOD. He JUST is LOVE. This means, no matter the circumstances, HE sees it all. I have never been the fan of the saying, “God is in control.” The main reason is because He is Sovereign. He is indeed aware of ALL things and KNOWS all things. Yet, we are not robots under HIS command. WE are HIS babies. He LOVES us with a LOVE we can barely fathom. He is sovereign, and He permits us to choose to RECEIVE or REJECT HIS LOVE.

My husband and I watched a movie recently. IT had the title of this blog. I was watching and JESUS brought David in. I do believe He was prompted by the Holy SPirit, and the Heavenly Father as well. THe family of GOD indeed, was on a mission. I even believe that MANY angels were involved too. 🙂 We sat and watched the movie together. It felt like we were miles a part, like there was a canyon between us. Not, because of us necessarily. But, here is the point. Little by little as we watched cried, and laughed, the canyon was crossed. HIS LOVE conquered. It always does. If David had come in, and I had told him I wanted to watch this one alone, he would have been hurt. Yet, I was prompted to offer. To say, come away with me, and Jesus will bring us Heaven and healing. Oh, how healing. I weep tears of JOY just thinking on the memory.

The movie was set near where we used to live. He looked at me, as if to say, “This is OUR story. ” I knew He was right in a sense. I just thank GOD for knowing what WE need, and when WE need it. The day we watched was the 10th, and it represents in the BIBLE testimony. There is a part of me that has missed what was before. Yet, I am so grateful that WE got to experience it. I know that may sound ODD. But, I would not, WE would not trade any of the hell on earth. Because, without IT, we would not have begun to truly experience HEAVEN.

Without the sadness, I would NEVER appreciate the JOY. A few years back, I begged God to show me the joy. IT seemed like every day was a battle. I said, please, I know it is present. Where is it? IT was like digging for a buried treasure. He kept LOVING on me, and being patient. I just got so frustrated. I think because I knew, even then somewhere, that some MAJOR sorrow was about to come. It was HARD as HELL, I won’t lie, because parts of it were. But, oh how HE LOVED us. At first, He did not use many others to do so. I mean, He did have seeds planted in the ministry, JUST so we could survive. Yet, no one came to our door in a physical sense. Which is completely okay, and ultimately, it ended up being a blessing.

WE WERE EXHAUSTED. I mean, He and I could barely think, or breathe. It is a miracle we did not just lay down and die. I thank God for my husband, and the way JESUS fought through HIM. I pray He feels the same, and thanks God for me. In that time we remembered a covenant we made with God. We said, when Sarah was 3 1/2, and had her first hospital stay, “We covenant to partner with you LORD, and do all in our power that you gift to us, to be the best examples that we can for our children. That way, they can see it and follow YOUR example.” We have no doubt that our kids do this. WE have angel children, and those birthed through the womb. But, each of them are LOVED just the way they are. God showers Heaven on them. Do they and WE sometimes get overexcited, well yes. But, thank GOD for Grace. The GRACE that comes from HEAVEN is definitely present in our HOME.

Isaiah 41:10 ESV / 658 helpful votes

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Romans 5:8 ESV / 453 helpful votes

But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

John 3:16 ESV / 430 helpful votes

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

Romans 8:35-39 ESV / 373 helpful votes

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written, “For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

1 John 4:16 ESV / 308 helpful votes

So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.

Ephesians 3:17-19 ESV / 286 helpful votes

So that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

1 John 4:10 ESV / 240 helpful votes

In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.

John 15:13 ESV / 236 helpful votes

Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.

Psalm 118:6 ESV / 234 helpful votes

The Lord is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me?

Psalm 147:3 ESV / 214 helpful votes

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

Romans 8:31 ESV / 197 helpful votes

What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?

Psalm 103:8 ESV / 178 helpful votes

The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.

Jeremiah 31:3 ESV / 175 helpful votes

The Lord appeared to him from far away. I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you.

Ephesians 2:8 ESV / 138 helpful votes

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God,

Isaiah 43:4-5 ESV / 132 helpful votes

Because you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you, I give men in return for you, peoples in exchange for your life. Fear not, for I am with you; I will bring your offspring from the east, and from the west I will gather you.

Romans 5:3-5 ESV / 119 helpful votes

More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

Romans 10:13 ESV / 115 helpful votes

For “everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”

1 John 4:19 ESV / 109 helpful votes

We love because he first loved us.

Isaiah 53:5 ESV / 108 helpful votes

But he was wounded for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his stripes we are healed.

Revelation 21:4 ESV / 106 helpful votes

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

Psalm 62:8 ESV / 98 helpful votes

Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us. Selah

Psalm 62:7 ESV / 95 helpful votes

On God rests my salvation and my glory; my mighty rock, my refuge is God.

Isaiah 49:16 ESV / 90 helpful votes

Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are continually before me.

Psalm 139:14 ESV / 82 helpful votes 

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.

Yesterday, I was given this poem from GOD…

“Coming HOME”

I tried to run, but you captured me. With your love enraptured me. You never let me go. Through it all you GLOWED. The light, so bright, that many did not get. But, your LOVE stuck to me like glue. Even when you could not hold me, you watch me. I was NEVER in danger, because YOU saw every scene. No matter how MEAN it appeared. Forgive me my my LORD. SO thankful for your Grace. So sufficient indeed, with each tear falling from my face. I was so weak, but you were NOT. Your LOVE was ALL I ever truly had. But, it was enough. SO much MORE than I can say. It kept me warm on the coldest of days. Now, still I see the holy mirror, and finally I can share. No more being locked up in the prison of HATE, for the KING has declared. FREEDOM.

The LOVE of GOD will overtake you, if YOU receive. He LOVES you just the way you are. That is a fact. Yet, should we not LOVE HIM enough to grow, change and be transformed by HIS LOVE? Today, many are talking about the stuff of the world. Some are getting caught up in Heaven, like a drug. It is NOT meant to be that way. It is meant to be a place of JOY. Such jubilant JOY, that it overflows into everything, and everyone, SUCH is the LOVE that flows from our permanent HOME. Years ago, I was given a lyric.

THIS is my temporary HOME, my place to walk and ROAM. I have never forgotten, and I thank GOD that what He desires to BE accomplished here, will be done, and it will be completed from Heaven. You are LOVED, treasured. Please look to Jesus for freedom. Because, anything else is  a trap, and a snare. You are a precious treasure, just as you are. Yet, YOU cannot see the luster and shine of Heaven’s glow. He wants to heal you so that you can finally SEE who you really ARE. It is time precious ones. IT is TIME. Take a baby step, and before you know it, the mustard seeds will turn to orchards of fruit for and filled WITH His GLORY. Share HIS LOVE today, as YOU receive what a gift and miracle you are that HE created.

In His Grace and Glory,

E and FAM

15 May 2015

Are you HOME???

homeFinally, THIS entry has come to PASS….

I kept wondering exactly what HE desired me to say. What came to my spirit was simple. “I am so GRIEVED by the rejection of MY LOVE. ” I heard Jesus speak THIS. It really pierced me. I said, ” I am SO SORRY. I know that hurts so much. I cannot even FATHOM how much PAIN you endure, and HAVE endured. I thank you for the GIFT of calling us HOME. Whenever WE officially get there to stay, until WE do, we will rejoice. WE will receive MORE of who you are. Lord, I repent on behalf of those who don’t know how to receive. Until recently I was still battling that. But, NOW I ask you to shower us in your GLORY. Bring to pass HOME, so that WE don’t just want to leave, or run away. But we are encouraged to finish the race with your GRACE leading the way. Bringing many willing participants along with us :)”

Recently, our family went to see the movie “HOME.” I am not going to talk about the evil involved in the film. I am going to speak about what GOD revealed to us. It is simple really. HIS LOVE conquers. No matter how dark things appear around us, HIS LOVE will be the light. It will be the HOPE and it alone will guide us HOME. So, are you HOME? Well, in some sense the answer is NO. Because literally you are not 100% HOME. Yet, can you LIVE from there and not be there officially? YES, you can. Because JESUS is there. Yet, lives in you too. He is here and there as well 🙂

I do encourage you to, through the LOVE of God, learn about your enemy. Because, WHEN you do, then you will NOT be so blindsided when trials arise. What is YOUR idea of HOME? What is Jesus’s idea of HOME? Because the fact is, what God says is the ONLY thing that is TRUTH. Is home in your spouses arms? Is it in the arms of a child? It it in a house with a white picket fence? Is it surrounded by the world? Consider what HOME is to you, and what it is to GOD. Do they line up? Is there agreement with HIS plan?

What if God said, “I need YOU to release your idea of Heaven, for the REAL Heaven, which is MY HOME.” What would your reaction be? I will be VERY Real and tell you my first reaction was NO. I am not saying that I do not want what he does. I am simply stating that, I did NOT want to give up anything. Because, then I had a fear I would never get anything in return. I believed no matter how much others said otherwise, that I was unloved. I remember as a teen, there was a song that kind of became my “anthem.”

THIS was the song. It was written by Jan Arden…


There will be no consolation prize
This time the bone is broken clean
No baptism, no reprise and no sweet taste
of victory. All the stars have fallen
from the sky and everything else in between
satelites have closed their eyes.
The moon has gone to sleep

Here I am inside a hotel choking on a
million words I said
Cigarettes have burned a hole and dreams are
drunk and penniless.
Here I am inside my father’s arms,
all jagged-bone and whiskey-dry.
Whisper to me sweetly now and tell me I will
never die.

Here I am an empty hallway,
Broken window, rainy night
I am nineteen sixty-two and I am ready
for a fight.
People crying hallelujah,
While the bullet leaves the gun
People falling, falling, falling and I don’t know
where they’re falling from
Are they

Hoping that the kindness will lead us
past the blindness and
not another living soul will ever have to feel

This song was what I believed about myself. BUT it was a LIE. I say THIS to tell you that NO ONE caused me to believe it, and no one person is to blame. I simply came into agreement with a lie. It was ALL around me, people saying God loves us, He will conquer, it will be okay. But, when I looked at the fruit, hardly anyone was walking in this. No judgement, because people did and saw what they knew. I am NOT nor will I blame people for what took place in my life. I did for a long time.

My idea of HOME was chaos, stress, anger, disagreement, pain, and LOTS of other negative values. I believed it was abuse, and neglect as well as being abandoned. Why? Because, no matter how hard I tried, I could not FIND a HOME. There is a VERY specific reason why this is a fact. My HOME does NOT exist here. I remember Sarah saying, “I just want a loving and happy family.” I thought those were her desires. But, they were the heart of JESUS. I remember thinking, “How could she know this? Can she read my mind. I dare NOT tell her that I feel the same way.” But, she knew…always.

I do NOT always talk about what REALLY happened. How people were NOT always as they seemed. How evil was always hunting me, and I lived a LIFE terrified to even breathe. YET, I was determined to FIND the LOVE. I was HELL BENT that I would find it. I experienced a lot of HELL along the way, with remnants of Heaven.

There is another song I thought of the other day. It is by Amy Grant.


If these old walls
If these old walls could speak
Of things that they remembered well
Stories and faces dearly held
A couple in love
Livin’ week to week
Rooms full of laughter
If these walls could speak

If these old halls
If hallowed halls could talk
These would have a tale to tell
Of sun goin’ down and dinner bell
And children playing at hide and seek
From floor to rafter
If these halls could speak

They would tell you that I’m sorry
For bein’ cold and blind and weak
They would tell you that it’s only
That I have a stubborn streak
If these walls could speak

If these old fashioned window panes were eyes
I guess they would have seen it all
Each little tear and sigh and footfall
And every dream that we came to seek
Or followed after
If these walls could speak

They would tell you that I owe you
More than I could ever pay
Here’s someone who really loves you
Don’t ever go away
That’s what these walls would say

They would tell you that I owe you
More than I could ever pay
Here’s someone who really loves you
Don’t ever go away
That’s what these walls would say
That’s what these walls would say
That’s what these walls would say


God captured my heart through MUSIC. I mean He drew me in, despite how the enemy baited me. I remember in error, I believed music saved me. But, in TRUTH Jesus did. HE is my HOME. He is my HOPE, HEART, and BREATH. Yet, I kept trying to get to HIM. I never knew just how much I was LOVED. I thought to get to Jesus, I had to have the “perfect” life. But, the TRUTH is, to be HOME, to LIVE from HOME, I simply had to KEEP choosing to receive.

I did, every day. I got so discouraged, but I just kept going. I kept on telling people about JESUS. I had seen my Mom do this. Yet, also saw her battle with receiving. I just kept thanking God. recently, He healed my heart. He has brought me home. He used MANY weapons. His word, encouragement of people who LOVE HIM and me, music, television, and so much more.  But, the GREATEST weapon GOD used to FREE me is HIS LOVE. It did NOT look like I expected. But, it has brought me HOME.

Genesis 28:15 ESV / 107 helpful votes

Behold, I am with you and will keep you wherever you go, and will bring you back to this land. For I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.”

Mark 5:19 ESV / 79 helpful votes

And he did not permit him but said to him, “Go home to your friends and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you.”

2 Corinthians 5:1-21 ESV / 41 helpful votes

For we know that if the tent that is our earthly home is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. For in this tent we groan, longing to put on our heavenly dwelling, if indeed by putting it on we may not be found naked. For while we are still in this tent, we groan, being burdened—not that we would be unclothed, but that we would be further clothed, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. He who has prepared us for this very thing is God, who has given us the Spirit as a guarantee. …

Jeremiah 29:11-12 ESV / 34 helpful votes

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you.

John 14:2 ESV / 32 helpful votes

In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you?

Colossians 3:15 ESV / 27 helpful votes

And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.

Colossians 3:14 ESV / 23 helpful votes

And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.

Revelation 7:9-12 ESV / 18 helpful votes

After this I looked, and behold, a great multitude that no one could number, from every nation, from all tribes and peoples and languages, standing before the throne and before the Lamb, clothed in white robes, with palm branches in their hands, and crying out with a loud voice, “Salvation belongs to our God who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb!” And all the angels were standing around the throne and around the elders and the four living creatures, and they fell on their faces before the throne and worshiped God, saying, “Amen! Blessing and glory and wisdom and thanksgiving and honor and power and might be to our God forever and ever! Amen.”

Hebrews 12:1-13:25 ESV / 13 helpful votes

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted. In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons? “My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. …

John 14:27 ESV / 13 helpful votes

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.

Luke 15:11-32 ESV / 13 helpful votes

And he said, “There was a man who had two sons. And the younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the share of property that is coming to me.’ And he divided his property between them. Not many days later, the younger son gathered all he had and took a journey into a far country, and there he squandered his property in reckless living. And when he had spent everything, a severe famine arose in that country, and he began to be in need. So he went and hired himself out to one of the citizens of that country, who sent him into his fields to feed pigs. …

Jeremiah 31:7-10 ESV / 13 helpful votes

For thus says the Lord: “Sing aloud with gladness for Jacob, and raise shouts for the chief of the nations; proclaim, give praise, and say, ‘O Lord, save your people, the remnant of Israel.’ Behold, I will bring them from the north country and gather them from the farthest parts of the earth, among them the blind and the lame, the pregnant woman and she who is in labor, together; a great company, they shall return here. With weeping they shall come, and with pleas for mercy I will lead them back, I will make them walk by brooks of water, in a straight path in which they shall not stumble, for I am a father to Israel, and Ephraim is my firstborn. “Hear the word of the Lord, O nations, and declare it in the coastlands far away; say, ‘He who scattered Israel will gather him, and will keep him as a shepherd keeps his flock.’

2 Timothy 1:14 ESV / 11 helpful votes

By the Holy Spirit who dwells within us, guard the good deposit entrusted to you.

Isaiah 49:19-20 ESV / 11 helpful votes

“Surely your waste and your desolate places and your devastated land— surely now you will be too narrow for your inhabitants, and those who swallowed you up will be far away. The children of your bereavement will yet say in your ears: ‘The place is too narrow for me; make room for me to dwell in.’

James 1:1-27 ESV / 9 helpful votes

James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ, To the twelve tribes in the Dispersion: Greetings. Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. …

1 Timothy 2:1-15 ESV / 9 helpful votes

First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people, for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way. This is good, and it is pleasing in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth. For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus, …

John 3:1-36 ESV / 9 helpful votes

Now there was a man of the Pharisees named Nicodemus, a ruler of the Jews. This man came to Jesus by night and said to him, “Rabbi, we know that you are a teacher come from God, for no one can do these signs that you do unless God is with him.” Jesus answered him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.” Nicodemus said to him, “How can a man be born when he is old? Can he enter a second time into his mother’s womb and be born?” Jesus answered, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God. …

Luke 15:1-32 ESV / 9 helpful votes

Now the tax collectors and sinners were all drawing near to hear him. And the Pharisees and the scribes grumbled, saying, “This man receives sinners and eats with them.” So he told them this parable: “What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he has lost one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the open country, and go after the one that is lost, until he finds it? And when he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing. …

Philippians 2:12-16 ESV / 8 helpful votes

Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure. Do all things without grumbling or questioning, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain.

Song of Solomon 1:1-17 ESV / 8 helpful votes

The Song of Songs, which is Solomon’s. Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth! For your love is better than wine; your anointing oils are fragrant; your name is oil poured out; therefore virgins love you. Draw me after you; let us run. The king has brought me into his chambers. We will exult and rejoice in you; we will extol your love more than wine; rightly do they love you. I am very dark, but lovely, O daughters of Jerusalem, like the tents of Kedar, like the curtains of Solomon. …

1 Peter 2:1-25 ESV / 7 helpful votes

So put away all malice and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander. Like newborn infants, long for the pure spiritual milk, that by it you may grow up into salvation— if indeed you have tasted that the Lord is good. As you come to him, a living stone rejected by men but in the sight of God chosen and precious, you yourselves like living stones are being built up as a spiritual house, to be a holy priesthood, to offer spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. …

Romans 1:1-32 ESV / 7 helpful votes

Paul, a servant of Christ Jesus, called to be an apostle, set apart for the gospel of God, which he promised beforehand through his prophets in the holy Scriptures, concerning his Son, who was descended from David according to the flesh and was declared to be the Son of God in power according to the Spirit of holiness by his resurrection from the dead, Jesus Christ our Lord, through whom we have received grace and apostleship to bring about the obedience of faith for the sake of his name among all the nations, …

Psalm 133:1-3 ESV / 7 helpful votes

A Song of Ascents. Of David. Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity! It is like the precious oil on the head, running down on the beard, on the beard of Aaron, running down on the collar of his robes! It is like the dew of Hermon, which falls on the mountains of Zion! For there the Lord has commanded the blessing, life forevermore.

I physically do not reside in Heaven 100%, but know THIS every day I LIVE more from MY HOME. The one that WE are blessed to SHARE with JESUS. Because HE IS LOVE and shares it with everyone. 🙂

The LAST song that came to my spirit when praying about this entry is…ON THE WINGS OF LOVE.


Just smile for me
And let the day begin
You are the sunshine
That lights my heart within

And I’m sure that you’re
An angel in disguise
Come take my hand and
Together we will rise

On the wings of love
Up and above the clouds
The only way to fly
Is on the wings of love

On the wings of love
Only the two of us
Together flying high
Flying high up on the wings of love

You look at me
And I begin to melt
Just like the snow when
A ray of sun is felt

And I’m crazy ’boutcha
Baby, can’t you see
I’d be so delighted if
You would come with me

On the wings of love
Up and above the clouds
The only way to fly
Is on the wings of love

On the wings of love
Only the two of us
Together flying high
Flying high up on the wings of love

Yes, you belong to me
I’m yours exclusively
Right now we live
And breathe each other

Inseparable it seems
We’re flowing like a stream
Running free traveling
On the wings of love

On the wings of love
Up and above the clouds
The only way to fly
Is on the wings of love

On the wings of love
Only the two of us
Together flying high
Together flying high

On the wings of love
Up and above the clouds
The only way to fly
Is on the wings of love

On the wings of love
Only the two of us
Together flying high
Flying high up on the wings of love

This is by an artist named Jeffrey Osbourne.

The LAST song is what I believe JESUS is saying to US. Home is NOT just about one thing. It is NOT all about family, it is ALL about HIS FAMILY. He wants to know are we finished? The answer is NO! We are just getting started. WE simply must be aware that He desires to prepare HIS bride before the wedding. He wants to bring us HOME, but as MANY as He can…not just one but HIS desire is for ALL to enter into HIS GATES.

So, come HOME…..receive HIS LOVE. Ask HIM to search you, try you, so that you can become a LIVING testimony for ALL to see. He needs you. In HIS arms you are ALWAYS safe and FOREVER HOME.

In His Grace and Glory,

E and Fam




09 May 2015

A Mother’s LOVE…A Father’s PROMISE

Any of you who have followed this blog, know that God wakes me up REALLY early. I started reflecting on THIS today. I thought about how, I always knew what did NOT please HIM, and what he viewed as bad. Now, do NOT get me wrong, I was and AM not perfect. As a kid I was often honory, harsh, easily offended, and things were often about me. Because I figured if I could figure out what my part was, God would help. Yes, it sounds odd, but it was my thought process.

In fact, it was the thought process of MOST of those around me, as well. BUT GOD. Again, I thought the next entry was going to be “Are you HOME?” Yet, here WE are, and I am called to speak on being a MOM. So, here we go…

I NEVER wanted to be a mom. Or did I? Overtime people would discuss it with me, I would think, “Nope I am NEVER having kids.” I was absolutely terrified of being a mom. Because in my mind, that meant I would be married, have responsibility, and that it would NO LONGER be about me. Oh my goodness! Yet, what I have learned and am learning, is it NEVER was.

I am reminded of my absolute favorite commercial. It is a State Farm commercial. Perhaps you have seen it. It begins with a man saying,” I am NEVER getting married,” then shows a marriage. Then He says, “I am NEVER moving to the suburbs.” Then He is living there. “WE are never having children,” the man says. Then, they have kids. Then, the last thing, is “I AM never letting go.” It is a beautiful commercial, that I believe shows us God’s LOVE.

He says, “I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU OR FORSAKE YOU.” So, that is something WE can rejoice because of. 🙂 It is cause for celebration, and merriment. HE does NOT fail us. He NEVER ever will, or can, as long as WE are receiving HIS LOVE. His LOVE is unconditional, but receiving it is a whole other ball game. 😉

SO, back to being a mom. I remember it becoming official. Just like it was yesterday, I remember being in the doctor’s office and hearing I was pregnant. I had such mixed emotions. It was a time of great wonder and expectation, and also great difficulty for me. I LOVED being pregnant. I mean I LOVED it. I have said b4, if God wants me having kids in my 70’s that would be HEAVEN to me. Because, in the pregnancy, I was so close to GOD. I mean, we were, pardon the expression, “Thick as thieves.”

Despite all the craziness of the circumstance, HIS LOVE conquered. God put me and my husband together during this time. In fact, WE got together when I was 1 month and a half pregnant. It was NOT easy for SO many reasons. BUT GOD. Every day, every moment  of being pregnant, I experienced more of Heaven. It is so tough to put into words. But, the best way to describe it, is HEAVEN was within me, in a way that I finally could grasp.

I am purposely focusing on the JOY involved in these circumstances. Yet, I must interject that it did NOT always “feel” joyful. I battled with my health during the pregnancy. I mean, somebody did not want this gift to arrive. But, SHE beat the odds. JESUS beat the odds. The Heavenly FATHER beat the odds, and the HOLY spirit beat the odds. Sarah did arrive. Around 6:15 in the morning on December 27, 2005.

To date, she is the ONLY child that did beat the odds, that came through my womb in  a natural manner. In a tangible way, she arrived, and OH what a day!!!!!! I remember the night before, I took a bath. I was NEVER told not to take one, when you suspect your water broke. So, I took one, and afterwards there was liquid coming out. It was not stopping. I was freaked out. Anyway, we went in to the hospital. I was checked and sent home. I mentioned I took a bath, but no one said a thing.

The next day, we went next door for brunch with our neighbors. I get a call on my cell phone. I answer and it is the hospital. The woman is VERY insistent. She says, get here NOW! I was calm, and said,” okay we will be right there.” So, I begin to understand as she explained it. They had somehow, by the GRACE of God, determined that my water broke the night before, and they needed to check me.

I remember wondering if it was a false alarm again. But, was not upset, and was trying to stay calm and focused. SO, my “boyfriend” and I head to the hospital. No contractions, nothing yet, just us driving there and getting prepared. We get there, they check me, determine my water had broken, and get started on their part. So, many hours later, still no contractions, and I was starving. So, I ate. They warned me I might throw it up. I did eventually.

AT some point, people came in to check me again. One doctor or nurse had to break forebags. They apparently are part of the area where the water breaks. Mine was leaking, but had not caused the flood that most normally have. Anyway, there was absolute chaos around me. BUT GOD. Oh how HE kept me, and kept her. It was so precious. Even now my eyes well with tears of gratefulness.

I also recall, when she began coming. God showed me how to alleviate the pain. I had surgery as a child and had rods put in my back. THIS worked to an advantage. I could rock back and forth and the pain was not nearly as intense. When she finally arrived, I remember she was quiet. That is, still they started poking at her and cleaning her mouth out. THEN she cried….and I laughed. I thought, “What a beautiful sound.” I wept with JOY.

I remember wanting more of THAT….more JOY. Essentially, I wanted MORE of Heaven. So, THUS officially birthed was the gift of being a mommy. I was so overwhelmed by the LOVE of the HEAVENLY FATHER. I held HIS promise, despite how it looked like she came to be. SHE was a gift, and still is. Every thought, memory, video, every second of her life, a gift.

This is my second mother’s day without “natural children with me.” It is surreal, and strange. I say, there are no natural ones, because the world sees that as those birthed through the womb on earth. One time someone spoke to me saying, “You will have some natural children, but also spiritual ones.” I knew that, but something about how it was said, just rubbed me the wrong way. I know now, it was because in my spirit, I knew that soon my ONLY natural child would go HOME. Not only that, but that I could NOT go with her for good.

A few days ago, someone posted the story of Mother’s day. I was fascinated to know that it began with the LOSS of a child. I mean, I was just in awe. Yet, today those who lose children are often seen as outcasts and problems. They skip over that part of life when they talk, if only to avoid conflict. But, I believe GOD is resurrecting the JOY of being a mommy. Not the overwhelming pressure, burden, stress, and other stuff. That stuff is dying. Because GOD wants the LOVE and hope as well as JOY to arise.

I LOVE being a mom. It is ONE of the greatest gifts I have ever received. Yet, it has also been and continues to be one of the toughest things I have ever experienced. It is funny how something can be not one thing, or another, but both. I LOVE being a MOM, yet at times I hated what it required. I thought about JESUS. I thought about HIS journey walking the earth. HE LOVES US now, and THEN. I know that at times He despised the requirements, but NEVER the people. Despising the evil that causes something to be a problem, is NEVER bad. It was okay that He did not always feel good. I am not saying He was sick. We know HE never was. But, look at HIS rebukes.

He was the FATHER to Fatherless, and the MOTHER to the motherless. Until Sarah and other children came into my life, I NEVER considered that. It was NOT tangible to me. He still IS ALL of these things. I see God in an interesting way. HE is my family. It consists of JESUS who is my brother, and the HEAVENLY FATHER, who is dad, as well as the HOLY SPIRIT, the nurturer. That is what moms are used to do, nurture. I am so glad that SARAH made it here.

THAT helps me to not be sad, and to stay focused on the GAIN. Yes, the LOSS happened, but also after the death; comes resurrection.  I say THIS to share that when Sarah arrived, I was driven to serve God. I was NOT trying to strive, but I think I naturally did. I was driven, and in some ways hell bent on figuring out God’s plan. The LOVE of Jesus in Sarah taught me so much. Even now…a constant reminder that I must choose to BEND toward Heaven and NOT Hell exists.

I am so thankful that I still get to be a mom. I am beyond words excited about God making me a MOMMY again. Because, NOW I understand HIS promises. I knew them but I was somehow blocked from really seeing them. I LOVE our angel kids. I thank God for the one that He has still teaching me, and training me. WE learn from JESUS in each other. It is GLORIOUS. Yet, I must add it is NOT without challenges. ALL Good things, ALL Heavenly treasures, will have challenges to find. Yet, HIS hunt is worth it. HIS LOVE is worth it.

Seek first the KINGDOM of HEAVEN. Then, you shall see the JOY appear right before your very eyes. Choose HIS ways and surrender deeper. Do NOT try to make things so simple, that you MISS the secrets hidden in the tapestry of HIS word. It is a LOVE story. Indeed, it is EPIC from the most wonderful place.

Proverbs 31:25-30 ESV / 522 helpful votes

Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.” …

Proverbs 31:26-27 ESV / 392 helpful votes

She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.

Psalm 127:3 ESV / 153 helpful votes

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.

Isaiah 49:15 ESV / 141 helpful votes

“Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you.

Proverbs 6:20 ESV / 111 helpful votes

My son, keep your father’s commandment, and forsake not your mother’s teaching.

Ephesians 6:2 ESV / 108 helpful votes

“Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise),

Proverbs 23:22-25 ESV / 86 helpful votes

Listen to your father who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old. Buy truth, and do not sell it; buy wisdom, instruction, and understanding. The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice; he who fathers a wise son will be glad in him. Let your father and mother be glad; let her who bore you rejoice.

Proverbs 22:6 ESV / 86 helpful votes

Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

Isaiah 66:13 ESV / 82 helpful votes

As one whom his mother comforts, so I will comfort you; you shall be comforted in Jerusalem.

This article REALLY touched me today. I pray it touches all of you moms. That HE brings you Heaven in it, as He did me. THIS is how JESUS LOVES US…PERFECTLY.

CHOOSE this day to let JESUS remind you about WHY you get to be a mommy or a daddy. SUCH an honor, such a precious and awesome responsibility. TRAIN these kids in HIS ways and see HEAVEN with brand new eyes. YOU ARE SO LOVED. Lifting up the MOMS today and every day. Love you ALL.

In His Grace and GLORY,

E and Fam

09 May 2015

LOOK how FAR you HAVE come….How FAR I have brought you.

For several days, I have been seeking God, on what he desired to say. I thought I was going to write another entry first. It is called “Are you HOME?” But the holy spirit quickened me, that THIS entry must come first. I, like many have felt the discouragement around, and have questioned the LORD for my purpose. Looking up to HIM and saying, “What is your plan in relation to ME?” How many or you have had similar experiences? The Lord does not mind if we ask HIM what. He just minds, when we don’t accept the answer.

For days now, the LORD has been speaking to me, “LOOK how FAR you HAVE come. NOT how FAR you have to go. I have brought you SO FAR.” I said, “Yes LORD, and I am so grateful. For ALL the times you have guarded me, protected me, fought for me. Yet, Lord it seems like every time a mountain is conquered, there is another, then another. So, how do I stay encouraged? I know you will never fail me, or anyone you LOVE, as long as WE receive it. Yet, there is this constant WAR within and without. What is the secret to staying in that cleft of your bosom?” This is what I heard, “My child there is no way you EVER leave me. We are joined together. Even in the times, you thought I was gone, I watched, I waited for you. For I knew when you would FULLY return to me. Look how FAR WE have come together? Look at the miracles, and wonders that have come to pass. It is a gift each day, and the secret is MY LOVE. The more you receive my LOVE, the more you will be filled with it. There are SO many ways to receive. One way to be certain you are receiving is to keep a repentant heart. You do that well. Allowing me to chasten you, and correct you dear one is precious to me. I TRUST you. I don’t just LOVE you, I treasure you. Each day that you exist is a GIFT to me. I desire that you not encounter pain, but it is necessary to walk through at times. For, my child you have learned the GIFT of my suffering. NOW it is TIME for you to see the sorrow transformed into JOY!”

As I sat and listened to the LORD speak, I realized WHY in scripture it states, “But, the GREATEST of these is LOVE.” Yesterday, I wrote that last sentence. I thought about it all day. It was a wonderful and heavenly day overall. His Glory was so VERY present. God blessed David with a new laptop for work. He blessed us with breath, dinner, and so much more. But, having said that, last night I got some news. It was tough to hear. I remember God showing me in a dream that someone was going to die. He never said who. When I found out who it was, I was just in shock. It was a dear and precious sister to me. When someone I LOVE goes home, I have a reaction of rejoicing. It is NOT because of the pain, or hole that can be left behind. It is because they have come HOME to be with JESUS. I don’t always have this reaction first, but when I accept it, I can then SING unto the LORD a new song. My heart, just aches for her family. This was not something they expected, and she leaves behind 2 young children and a husband. I will at the end of this post, have a link to donate to her family. When these types of events happen, I really seek the LORD.

Here is what I received, “It simply takes what it takes my child. My ways do not always make sense. TRULY Loving me and receiving me, is about choosing to LIVE and breathe my ways, even when it hurts. In fact, especially when it hurts, it is so important to CHOOSE my LOVE. MY LOVE conquers. Yet, know THIS my child it will NOT always feel good. Sometimes, quite frankly it will feel to your flesh like Fire. But, my LOVE you can FLY through the FIRE on my wings. I will NOT fail, and as you KEEP surrendering it ALL to ME, I will bring you Heaven.” I told him, “This really seems so strange to me. Yet, I know that you are a merciful GOD. You must have a plan that many don’t see. Perhaps because they don’t know how or are afraid to. I sat in HIS water, and just thanked HIM for healing, for bringing more FREEDOM, and for bringing Heaven in place of HELL for His faithful ones. For those who are suffering, I believe I received this message from HIM for you:

“I see you my precious child. I knew ALL of THIS would come. It is not a surprise to me. I catch every single tear that falls. I treasure it beloved. As you call to me, I will answer, and I will show you things that YOU have never known. I will keep bringing you through, and I will not EVER stop LOVING you. Receive my LOVE. We have come this far together, and these sufferings are the ONLY way. REST in ME, and allow my LOVE to turn the sorrows into JOY. You are such a beautiful jewel to ME, all of you my children. Oh how I ADORE you. ~ Jesus

Look how FAR you have come. EVERY day that you LIVE and BREATHE is a miracle. Every moment you exist to honor the ONE who made you, is such a GIFT to God. Yes, there is a LONG way to go, but when you observe what has come already, it WILL encourage you to KEEP praising HIM, keep LOVING HIM, keep moving forward, even when it is baby steps, because HIS LOVE is REAL and HIS HOLY FIRE is so beautiful. Thank you JESUS….

“Thank You Jesus”

Grace that flows like a river
Washing over me
Fount of Heaven, love of Christ
Overflow in me

Thank You Jesus
You set me free
Christ my Savior
You rescued me

Take this life delivered
A vessel of Your love
Wholly now devoted
To see Your kingdom come

Thank You Jesus
You set me free
Christ my Savior
You rescued me

You’ve given me life
You’ve opened my eyes
I love You Lord
I love You Lord
You’ve entered my heart
You’ve set me apart
I love You Lord
I love You Lord

Thank You Jesus
You set me free
Christ my Savior
You rescued me


I woke with THIS song in my spirit….especially for my friend. For those who are WITH Jesus in a whole new way. I still say THANK YOU, because GOD is still worthy and HE is still faithful. How far as He brought you? How many times has HE healed you? Regardless of what was used to bring the healing. HIS LOVE is the anchor and it is what NEVER ever fades. His Grace and MERCY are HIS wings of LOVE. I saw a vision of the HOLY eagle and I could see HIS LOVE as the body. His AMAZING Grace was one wing, and HIS infinite mercy was the other. Golden indeed and glowing is HIS LOVE. IT shines so bright and HIS LIGHT, no matter how it appears and FIRE will NEVER ever go out. HIS LOVE is indeed eternal and now words are good enough to describe it.

Ecclesiastes 3 King James Version (KJV)

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

What profit hath he that worketh in that wherein he laboureth?

10 I have seen the travail, which God hath given to the sons of men to be exercised in it.

11 He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end.

12 I know that there is no good in them, but for a man to rejoice, and to do good in his life.

13 And also that every man should eat and drink, and enjoy the good of all his labour, it is the gift of God.

14 I know that, whatsoever God doeth, it shall be for ever: nothing can be put to it, nor any thing taken from it: and God doeth it, that men should fear before him.

15 That which hath been is now; and that which is to be hath already been; and God requireth that which is past.

16 And moreover I saw under the sun the place of judgment, that wickedness was there; and the place of righteousness, that iniquity was there.

17 I said in mine heart, God shall judge the righteous and the wicked: for there is a time there for every purpose and for every work.

18 I said in mine heart concerning the estate of the sons of men, that God might manifest them, and that they might see that they themselves are beasts.

19 For that which befalleth the sons of men befalleth beasts; even one thing befalleth them: as the one dieth, so dieth the other; yea, they have all one breath; so that a man hath no preeminence above a beast: for all is vanity.

20 All go unto one place; all are of the dust, and all turn to dust again.

21 Who knoweth the spirit of man that goeth upward, and the spirit of the beast that goeth downward to the earth?

22 Wherefore I perceive that there is nothing better, than that a man should rejoice in his own works; for that is his portion: for who shall bring him to see what shall be after him?

THIS scripture was one that I was lead to when Sarah went home. Today, I reflect again and I thank GOD that HIS timing is prefect, and HIS ways are NEVER flawed. I thank GOD for healing my precious sister. I thank GOD for healing the BODY of Christ and delivering us all from evil, who desire to be FREE. I thank GOD for LOVING us always and bringing us OUT of the darkness, and into HIS Heaven. Oh how GLORIOUS to enter into HIS presence and HIS gates. How precious to HIM that WE forgive, keep LOVING and only give up through surrender. His desire is to LOVE us. LOOK how FAR WE have come. ONLY He could bring us here, and HE LOVES us so much that WE will not stay where WE are. HIS HEAVENLY LOVE will fly us on, and journey us through to the next place of GLORY.

In His Grace and Glory,

E and Fam

06 May 2015

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