Monthly Archives: September 2018

Betrayed BY God?!? ~ 🙁 ❤️ 💔 🚒 🚨

10906241_603447309799087_6353916573394658360_n11250155_10153643998796223_3692579556315771082_n11702785_10200801803564457_8496415044547532650_n10274071_10154554801292785_1555357345691557540_n-jpg1god-of-the-broken-home-cc-image_october_2013184414_10151642914512863_1045860989_n11108861_1132512883430491_1931539974716697360_nOver the last week, I have been noticing, a lot of posts about betrayal. Most have been uplifting, and encouraging. Having said that, the topic of betrayal, is not an EASY one. Although, everyone ON this planet, has experienced, SOME form of betrayal. The definition of this word, is somewhat simple. One defintion, from WEBSTERS, says this : “Violation of a person’s TRUST or confidence.” ~~~



Have YOU every had this happen? Would venture, to say, EVERYONE would say YES. If you are a CHILD of GOd, you are guaranteed, to experience THIS.  In Fact, YOU are promised, THAT you will encounter THIS, numerous times. Because, HOW many times was Jesus betrayed? LOTS. ~



But does GOD ever BETRAY us? I have asked this question, SO many times. ANd, the answer, I have, is NO. Yet, it often FEELS, like HE does. But, feelings, when NOT surrendered to God, are like swords. They can stab, and hurt. This is true, when WE react or respond to others.~~~~~



But, it is ALSO true, in our relationship, with GOD. We are often persecuted. SOme think, that those in the BODY of Christ, know nothing, about that word. But, you SEE that is simply wrong. MANY in the body , KNOW that definition, VERY deeply. One defintition, is ” TReat with hostility, and ill treatment, because of what ONE believes.”  Another meaning, from WEBSTERS is, ” Condition of being harrassed or annoyed.” ~

❤️ ❤️ ❤️


THERE are MANY who are LIVING this life, and know the DEPTH of this. Not just in FOREIGN nations, IS this happening. For, THIS is happening, ALL over the world. And it was promised, that it would. BUT, does that make it EASIER? No, not really. HIs GRace, makes it MORE bearable. Because, that gift and Heaven given weapon, is given, to soften the blow. His mercy, and HIs LOVE, married together, HELP US, to ENDURE and to go forth. ~~~




When, WE often struggle. How many times, do YOU want to quit? Just give up, and be DONE? This is something, THAT WE surrrender daily. Because, EVEN when Jesus is, doing the GOOD, and the beautiful, through you; IT does not ALWAYS feel great. Our BODIES go through, crucifixtions, And, THOSE are often, very challenging. Because, there is ANGUISH, and AGONY, in the process. NOt to mention, the GREAT suffering, that comes. 💔 ❤️ 💔



How many times, do WE ask GOD, to make things STOP? There is such GRACE for that. And often, in HIS tender mercies, HE slows things down. There is a place, in the LIFE book, where it speaks of TIME, and how HE shortens the days. I am definitely GRATEFUL, for HIS fighting for US. This morning, #24, I am reminded, THAT WE are ROYAL. WE are KINGS, and QUEENS, and PRINCESSES and PRINCES, of the HEAVENLY court. THAT is NOT a SMALL title. IT comes, with GREAT responsibility. ANd, it comes with TREMENDOUS ❤️ LOVE . WE are so beyond BLESSED to sit at the right hand, of GOD. To REIGN, with the KING of KINGS, is an HONOR and beyond.






To GO BOLDLY, where FEW go….IS TRULY a gift. LOVE. Because, WE go THERE with HIM. ~~~

❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️



Today, HE is speaking in the quiet, and in the STORMS. There are literal storms, and LESS obvious ones. But, the KEY is, that JESUS is the HEAVENLY EYE. He does NOT sleep or SLUMBER. WE can TRUST in HIM, and HIS ways. YES. WE can. Despite the MANY challenges, in THIS world;THERE is nothing, that HE cannot HEAL. His POWER is VERY REAL, and it WILL undo EVERYthing, that NEEDS undoing. ~~~ ❤️

TRUST in the LORD, with ALL your HEART, and LEAN NOT on your UNDERSTANDING. In ALL your WAYS aknowledge HIM. ANd, HE will make your PATH straight. Prov 3: 5-6. THIS, WE still stand ON daily. THen, in the hospital, with our BUTTERFLY, we stood. We Rested, WE fought, WE laughed, We cried. And, No matter who, THINKS otherwise, JESUS won. That is the TRUTH. The THunder roars, and the lightning still, strikes. BUT GOD. His LOVE love❤️ ALWAYS wins. ~



FEAR NOT. Because, HE promises, HE will NOT drop us. Take the TIME today, to praise HIM. Because, the difficulties, and challenges, are HERE to help. He will and DOES, keep the FAITHFUL, from ALL harm. Ask Him to strip ANY yuck, away.  Because nothing, is MORE powerful, than His Love.  Love❤️ Thanks be to GOD. ~~~



WE LOVE love❤️ you LORD, and WE thank YOU for, YOU. Thank you for DOING what YOU DO. Because, YOU are GOD. YOu undo the ties, that are unholy. YOu smooth out every mountain. THank you for LOVING us. THank you for TRUSTING us. WE forgive, once AGAIN, because YOU deserve that. WE choose to LEAN not, on our OWN understanding, because YOUR ❤️  LOVE is GReater. GIve us a heart, of Heavenmade LOVE, and compassion. Holy SPirirt, come with your rushing wind, and nurture us to healing. Help us see through your eyes. With your MIND, we choose your ways. IN the storm, we come, with repentant hearts, for our own imperfections, and missteps. THank you for your REDEMPTION. In Jesus name, and BLOOD. Amen. ❤️



In His Grace, LOVE, and Mercy,

His Daughter Elea


24 Sep 2018

Safe & Sound ~ Love ❤️

  1. New Beginngs ~~~ Love❤️ 12239719_10153428949738579_1494682980063883186_nWeerlig_oor_Pretoria10274071_10154554801292785_1555357345691557540_n-jpg1



    11066525_968046523236018_2138022594946879186_njesus loves me bright“In this world, YOU will have tribulation. But take heart, I have overcome the world.” Could NOT tell you, the exact spot, in the LIFE book, where THIS is found. But, IT is definitely PRESENT, and accounted for.  Smiles. You know what THIS verse has taught me? A lot. First, looking at the definition, of TRIBULATION. It means “Great suffering.” Oh, MY.


Specifically, It states, “A cause of GREAT suffering.” Looking further, at the define, WEBSTER’s states; ” Distress OR suffering resulting from OPPRESSION, or PERSECUTION. ”  This means, WE are guaranteed, TO HAVE TOUGH STUFF, happen. It is actually, A promise, THAT it will.  However, the second part states, “HE has overcome the world, so TAKE HEART. REst in THIS. Have PEACE in THIS. It means, WE cannot MESS up, the plans of GOD. ~~~ ❤️



And, IF we or ANYONE else, ATTEMPTS to try, and MESS with HIS plans; HE will handle it. How many times, have we heard, ” THE battle IS the LORD’s.” I used to SAY this, and still REALLY struggle, in TRUSTING it. But GOd. Even, THIS day, in my OWN flesh, I wanted to choose to disobey. But, oh my, the lesson, of obeying. RIGHT away, when WE must OBEY. ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️



Not from a place of IMPRISONMENT, or PAIN. But, from a PLACE of HONOR to our KING  . What gift can WE bring? US. He wants ALL of US, to be in agreement, with HIS heart. Even when, it LOOKS like, evil has victory. By, FAITH in JESUS, we must CHOOSE to SEE, with HIS eyes. ~~~ ❤️



The title, of this entry…”Safe and Sound. Love” ❤️


Do WE believe WE are SAFE in HIS care? That HE will provide ALL, of OUR needs, and HEAL us, when we get cut too? I DO, and yet, I am still HEALING, from the MANY betrayals, that have come too. Is that God’s fault? Well, YES and NO. I have learned, to see FAULT and BLAME, a bit different, than I did, once. In 2011, THe Heavenly Father spoke to me. I was in prayer, with my then, prayer partner. God moved so much, back then and NOW 2. And, that day, these WORDS came.  ~~~~~ Keys ~ ❤️


“I am SORRY for ALL of the SUFFERING, YOU have HAD to ENDURE and WILL HAVE to ENDURE. But, know THIS…. IF THERE was ANY other WAY, WE would HAVE TAKEN it, TOGETHER.” Your Heavenly Father ~ ❤️


This WORD, is not JUST for ME. It is for the ENTIRE body of CHrist. I sat in awe, barely able to speak. I looked up to Heaven, then. I thought, “What is He talking about? I have a GREAT life right now.” And to the naked eye, it looked, DARN near perfect. INcluding, to MY eyes, back then. I did not UNDERSTAND then, the depth, of WHAT was to COME.



All I knew, WAS we were in process of having more children, officially. WE had a flourishing, growing restaurant.  My husband had a good, and solid job, OVERALL. God was GREATLY providing, OUR needs, and for MANY others 2. I decided, to EMBRACE the ❤️  LOVE in THESE words, instead of what FELT like a ⚔ sword. I simply, could ONLY muster, “thank you.”



As a child, around age 10 or so, I played softball. Funny to me, that the pastor, mentioned sports. IT brought THIS back, to my memory. When it would STORM, I was absolutely TERRIFIED, to stay on the FIELD. And, hardly anyone, REALLY understood why. I did NOT know why, I was frightened. At least not THEN. I just knew it was like torture, and TORMENT, when those clouds , rolled in. If I saw LIGHTNING, I would literally RUN off the field. So many on my team, would make fun of me.



Yes, I forgive them, of course. Back then, there were SO many things, I saw. And, I did not, often know, what was good, or bad. I just knew how I felt. THat, was ALL I had. ~~~ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️



And, it was NOT, that I did not know GOD. I came into the world, KNOWING LOve. But, circumstances, came, that brought WAVES. Those waves, were A LOT like ocean  ones. THey were sometimes, beautiful and calm. But, THAT was RARE. Most, often, they were the WAVES, of “YOU should NOT CARE.” And I would, say that, aloud. In fact, I would say it, in PROUD too. ~~~~~ Forgive me Lord. Help me, forgive myself too. ❤️



I just WANTED to WIN, the game. Everytime, WE Lost, the coach seemed SO defeated. It was like, HE would take it personally. Yet, somehow, I knew, it was just a game. It was also, a METAPHOR, for something more. As was and IS the lightning too. For, JESUS, is electricity. In essense, the FEAR, of GOD would hit me. AND, I did NOT understand, when HE shows UP, WE are STILL SAFE. What does it TAKE to comprehend THAT? ❤️



For EVERYONE, it is quite different. But, it TAKES, what it TAKES, for HIS Glory, to shine. ✨ I try, so hard, not to get BOGGED down, by appearances, my OWN included. It takes JESUS to clean up, LIFE messes. It just DOES. It takes HIM, to bring JUSTICE too. ONLY, He can do what WE cannot. THank HEAVEN’s WE are NOT GOd. Forgive us LORD, for anytime we have TRIED to do your job. Thank you for LOVING us, out of the SHEOLS (Hells) of this world. ~~~~~ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️



Here, I thought, ” I am not gonna write, for a bit.” Well, I guess HE had other plans. YES. And oh MY, do HIS plans, supercede MINE. His, MINE and OURS. That is also a FILM, ” HIS, Mine and OURS.” It is a GREAT one, about a blended FAMILY. You see, WE have had many, IN house, and OUTSide. Family , that WORD has been like a comfort, and a thorn. ~~~



But, the FAMILY, of GOD will always keep. YOU are safe and SOUND. In HIS ❤️ LOVE , is where THIS family is found. NOthing, will BIND you in a way of BAD, when you EMBRACE, the Heavenly FAMILY of GOd. The Heavenly Father, Holy SPirit, and JESUS. For the 3rd, is the KEY, to ALL. Grace Grace, be unto US. ~~~ In Jesus Name. ~ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️



A favorite MOVIE line, is from “Runaway BRide.” ~ It is first said, by Richard Gere, and later by Julia Roberts  “” I guarantee WE will HAVE TOUGH times. I guarantee, that at one time, ONE or both of us, is gonna want OUT of this. But, I also know, if I don’t ASK YOU to BE MINE, I will regret IT for the REST of MY LIFE.””  When she says THIS to HIM, she is submitting. And, OH MY, is it a beautiful SCENE. The one right AFTER is a STUNNING wedding, on HORSEBACK. So beautiful. LOVE. ~~~ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️



There is a SONG that plays, on my favorite Pandora station, Once in a while, it plays. It is called, “The KING is ENTHRALLED with your beauty.” The definition of enthrall, is ” Capture the fascinated attention OF.” One definition says, “SPELLBOUND, or To HOLD in or REDUCE to SLAVERY.” That is the WEBSTer’s definition again. SMiles. Leave it to JESUS, to be drawn IN by US. Adoration, ❤️ LOVE , TReasured, WE are to HIM. He SEES us, as PERFECT. That is a word, I used to HATE. And yet, I have NO hate in ME. But, that word, in so MANY ways, was just the BAIN of my Xistence.



I was taught, by the behaviors of others, to STRIVE for perfection. I was not taught then, that to JESUS, I am perfect, JUST as I am. Maybe no ONE knew that either. I cannot say for sure. I am just grateful, that at the RIGHT time, I did learn. It IS a LOT to process. And, to be honest, I am still learning, , and growing. ~~~ Yet, there is much COMFORT, in KNOWING deep within, I AM SAFE. ~~~ ❤️



YOU are SAFE, and sound, in HIS ❤️ LOVE . Even those who are NOT choosing GOd, WE have scene HIM give grace to. It is by GRACE we have been SAVED. SOmetimes, the Grace is to stay HERE, and be part of LIFE. Othertimes, the GRACE is to go HOME. I have had MANY visits HOME. And, as I spoke of b4, one of those, was ALMOST permanent. But God. ❤️



I got to choose, because though WE are slaves to ❤️  LOVE, it is a CHOICE. I was honestly, in SHOCK, when HE said, ” I need your answer. Do you want to STAY or GO?” That question, there was NO easy answer, or was there? I guess the easy, would have been 2 stay. Yet, I looked DOWn, into the RIVER of LIFE. As I did, I saw a photograph, of my sweet Husband. He had, a TEAR frozen on His face. For His wife, had just died. He was crying in his SLEEP. ANd right then, I knew, “The JOURNEY was NOT complete. ~~~


So, I said, ” I so want to stay. THIS is my HOME. But, i made a promise to YOU, before I went there. I promised, to STAY, until the work was done. ANd it is NOT. So, I cannot come HOME to stay.” And He thanked ME, and showered me with LOVE and adoration. Every compliment YOU could EVER fathom. To name a FEW, ” My beautiful, My everything, My princess, My queen, My friend, My LOVE, My preciousness.” So much MORE, just GLORIOUS ADORING. He said, “Thank you, for counting the COST. Most of my children just, say YES. I sat in AWE and complete REVERENCE. ~~~ I then asked, “Sire , I have ONE request. I NEEEEEEEED to be MADE whole. Because, THEY need to SEE it. I need to SEE it too. But, THEY REALLY DO. ”  He looked at me, and then, bopped me on the head. And, He said, “Done.”  Then, He sent me back, to MY earthly HOME ~~~ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️



There is MUCH more to THIS part of the STORY. No clue what act, or SCENE we are ON. Probably 3. 🙂 Because, that NUMBER, means SO MUCH to ME. LOVE. Redemption, of what WAS. Yes, that is taking place. Not as I pictured it, either. But God. Forgiveness, YES. By His Grace, in ways, some OTHERS might think ODD. But, we are FREE to be US. That is for SURE. There is JOY that comes in the morning, and MOurning as well. There is sorrow, that pops in, from time to time. But God. His Love will, continue, to ERASE and rewind. Now, when I enter storms, physical, or otherwise; THERE is a PEACE.❤️



IT is ONE that is often, tough to describe in WORDS. PEACE. SHALOM. In the hebrew language, “AHAVA” means LOVE. I believe that is correct. SMiles. His LOVE keeps us SAFE and SOUND. His LOVE abounds, into the DARKEST places. ~~~ His LOVE, and HIS Graces as well as MERCIES, fuel our LIVES. ~~~ ❤️


This day of VICTORY, and NEW BEGINNINGS too, TRUST in HIM to be your SAFE place. May HIS Grace, be ever sufficient for YOU. May it BE for US too, a shield and fortress. His LOVE to anchor US, in EVERY single storm. For, EVEN “the winds and waves, OBEY HIM.” At His command, the storm will cease. Yet, NOT till HE desires it to BE. ~~~ ❤️



Father give us your strength, keep us STEADY in the storms. Be our RESCUE. Holy SPirit, be our sail, and teacher too. Nurture us with every need and wisdom. Jesus be our BEST friend, and our brother too. Because, UNITED there is a STAND and it is beautiful. From, the moment time began, your LOVE has been. A WATERFALL of Heaven, YES. Truly sparkling, and refreshing. Like RAIN, FALL over us, to EASE every SINGLE pain. In Jesus name. WE come, once again, with hearts, repentant and laying down SORROW. Thank you for yesterday, today, and tomorrow. Thank you that WE are SAFE and SOUND, by your GRACE. Your Mercy and LOVE, Parental, we thank YOU. We praise you too. In Jesus name and BLOOD. Amen. ~~~ ❤️




His Lion Cub ,


17 Sep 2018

GOOD KNIGHT SweetHeart ~ ❤️

1794740_10202793062767651_1849597989958784677_n12166887_10207993635856946_547456957_nfighting-parentsimages10356327_797736560298840_800842292463146719_n816e6e642d8b65a15137333cbf5ed2301024_1069125859787707_7567550745995162315_n778863_10151673469177785_890606283_oI woke up this morning, early. As a child, I became an EARLY riser, not exactly by choice. But, NOW, there is definitely redemption. I used to KICK hard against the goads. Meaning, I often wanted MY way.  Ultimately, THAT also means, I would fight God’s plans, for my life. I was NEVER really against God. The desire was NEVER, on purpose rebellion.  I was more, just CURIOUS then, if I could exert MY will. Oh My, was I a strong willed child. I admit, at times, that came out badly.  I could, quite frankly, be a BRAT. There were so MANY factors, that played into that.~~~ ❤️ 💔 💧




But, what I remember most, is NOT feeling heard. Because, back then, and NOW,  God would show me things.  I would get excited, and want to share.  So, I would try.  They key word, in that senstence is “I. ” It was often me, and not God. Not, that I was consciously, aware of this, because I was NOT.  All I knew was,  I wanted others to Love ❤️ Jesus.  And, back then, I wanted them, to love ❤️ and accept me too.  ~~~~



When my “family” or my “friends” did not LISTEN, to me, it hurt. 🙁  And, I, in my own IGNORANCE, often repaid evil for Evil.  The people themselves, most of them were just, trying to exist.  And, each one had pain, and wounds too.  The old adage, so true; “hurt people hurt people. ” I did NOT understand, how MUCH God desired ME. ~~~~ 💔 ❤️ 💔




To be REALLY honest, I’m still learning 🎓  about this.   I wanted to know MORE, so I would visit churches. ALL my close friends, were ONE specific denomination. And, I found that interesting. It doesn’t really matter, what one.  Because , God has purpose in ALL things.  And we’ve scene Him, use EVERY section, of the church. ⛪️ ~~~ ❤️



I tried to make FRIENDS in my own church. But, those friendships, did NOT seem to last. I think it is fascinating, how God would send me, to these other places. I would come home, asking my Mother then, ALL kinds of questions. And usually, her most common answer was simple. “We don’t believe that way,” She’d say. And I would say, “Well, what do WE believe?”  I often felt VERY confused and anxious, about the responses.  Sad🙁 Inside, I was thinking, “should I not choose for myself, what I believe? Should it be FIXED already? How is that fair?” ~~~



On very RARE occasions, I would be BRAVE enough to ask her, about that. The fairness answer, I’m sure you know well.  I would often hear,  “Life is NOT fair. ” And I would think, “It should be. ”  My oldest Sarah, (mother) was a FIGHTER in my life. Oh, MY did she fight for her kids, friends, and Family👪. I suspect, she still does, though quite different now. ~ ❤️ 💔 🌼🌻🌺💐🌸🌹🏵🌳🌲🌱💮💐



She was ALWAYS taking up for me. And, in a lot of ways, I am very grateful for that. But, I cannot say, I super appreciated it, THEN. ~~~ Especially, because she often, would say, ” I do not have ALL,  the answers.” That would terrify me. I would THINK, “but you are the one, who’s taking care of me. If you don’t have them, how do I get them?”  ~ More to the point, I’d wonder,  “Am I safe here, if you don’t know, or can’t help? ”



What frustrated ME as a CHILD, was I could hear, SEE, smell, sense and experience things. So, I would say these things aloud, and no one believed me. It was like Joseph, in the BIBLE. He had dreams, visions, and got insights. And He would try and share them, with THOSE He loved. He would tell his “family and friends.” And, his brother’s threw him into a PIT. He was sold into slavery. I so relate to this. Everyone around me, was always saying things, that just were crucifying. ~~~ 💔



Things, like, ” I forgot, it is ALWAYS, about Katy. The whole WORLD revolves around HER.” Those words, were like DAGGERS and swords⚔ to my heart, and soul. Even writing about it, is NOT easy for ME. But, it is spoken of, not to remind of the bad. It is for one reason, today. Those words then, might have caused ONE reaction, and led to infractions. But, NOW they heal ME. By God’s Grace, there is freedom, that comes in them. There is a humbling. ~~~~~ I had to come, to the END, of myself. Oh boy, does THAT happen daily 2. Because, once it begins, it does NOT exactly stop. And what it has TAKEN to get me, to that place, has been RATHER painful. But God. ~ ❤️ 💔 ❤️ ❤️ ❤️



“In THIS world, YOU will have tribulation, and TROUBLE. But, take HEART, because I have overcome the world. “THIS is what Jesus says, to US. This is US. Oh, so that is where, He is taking THIS. 🙂 Back to the show📺. TV again. The transformative VICTORY. It started out, as a temporary one. BUT GOD. As a child, there were 3 main channels on TV. I am not saying, other channels were not present. I am saying, there were 3 of them, that broadcasted at highest frequency. These were ABC, NBC and CBS. Each one, had a line-up. THis is still true, today. The shows, have been switched out, but each one, has a section of shows. I have found, each STATION, has many shows that are helpful, fun and unique. But, what I noticed, as a KID, is the compete that happens. For example, there is always a competition, with Ratings, to see who can outdo the other. That never made sense to me. But, I just accepted it, because who was I, to know? !?






As I got older, and REALLY would lean into JESUS more, I would learn, competition is NOT a great plan long term. However, like EVERYTHING, it has a purpose. In the case of these stations, they better themselves, by competing with each other. So, as a young girl, there was a FRIDAY night family thing, on ABC. I think it was called, TGIF. They used those letters to mean, something else I am certain. BUt, I always heard, “Thank GOd IT IS Friday.” It was my favorite time of the week. ❤️  🎉  ❤️



I loved the block of shows, they would choose. THEY always made me laugh. 😄 😄 😄  Many of those shows, I still watch in reruns. Because, MOST of them, then were full of CLEAN humor. That, can be a BIT tougher to find, now. NBC had a Thursday, line up then. And, CBS, had a Saturday one, I believe. Memory still healing, with these things. But, the KEY point, is, I would look for FUNNY shows. Rarely, would I look for DRAMAs. Because, there was ENOUGH of that, in just day to day life. I desperately wanted laughter and JOY. In some ways, I wanted a distraction, from ALL the yuck, I saw. Sometimes, it worked, and other times, well, NOT at all. ~~~




So, now fast forwarding Some, because, we have set the scene. We come to, ONE of the newest shows, on TV. Yes, I had to have a minute, to build, to THIS. When this show, premiered, I thought, “That looks good….but.” It was like, I knew, it would be TOUGH to watch. And in some ways, it HAS been, VERY challenging, to SEE. But God. I say that a LOT.~~~ 💔



“THIS is US,” is the show,  on NBC, and it has a stellar cast. THe first episode, was tough for me. I admit, I cried a lot. SO many reasons why. The biggest, parallels in MY own life. I often watch the show, and PRAY. Because, God has promised healing in my “Family.” There is so much , that show has been used to teach me. The dad, is so much like my dad, who is NOW with Jesus. There were 3 of us kids, in the house. One difference, is that these “KIDS” are close, because they came together, in solidarity. I so want that. God willing, one day, it will BE. ~~~ ❤️ 💔 ❤️



But, the relationship, with the MOM, and the daughter. Oh yes, I so relate. She even has, part of my name. No mistake there. SHe battles weight. Yes, I did that too.  It is still something, i give to Him daily.  Self image.  Wow, no words.  Just learning to SEE myself, through His eyes of Love❤️. And eventhough she has a twin, not even he, gets her ALWAYS.~~~



But, she is determinded to LOVE. ❤️  Yes, THAT, i understand, so well. Even when life, just throws, HELL at you. That is ME, to a TEE. I am one, who will LOVE, at ALL cost. Especially, when it is undeserved. Because, I have learned, the hard way, it is NEEDED most then. And, I ask JESUS to LOVE through me, NOW. Because, back then, I did not know, I could. Everything about the show, “THIS is US,” resonates with me. I have been amazed how similar it is, to the life I have had. In life, we either embrace similarities, or RUN from them. You run to HELP. or away. ~ ❤️ 💔 ❤️



And, for ME, it takes JESUS to get me through each day. ANd, NO contrary to popular belief, there is NO impure religion in me. I simply LOVE ❤️  Him most. When the storms of this LIFE come, YOU must TRUST the captain, creator and director of THOSE storms. I mean, this quite literally. IF you do NOT trust in HIS help, you will struggle more. But, when YOU do, you are guaranteed to have more PEACE. ~~~ love❤️



That, is the beauty of HIS ❤️ LOVE . It is a union and partnership 2. 🙂 He promises to take CARE of you, and ALL you ❤️  LOVE 2. There is such COMFORT in this. If YOU never receive an apology, for being mistreated, kicked, bullied, thrown away; HIS LOVE love Love❤️, will FREE you. It is what it DOES. He loves you ANYWAY, there is NOTHING that can seperate YOU, from HIS LOVE. He is the Heavenly white KNIGHT. ANd HE is a GOOD KNIGHT. There is NOTHING that is BAD, that resides in JESUS. So, sweetheart, EMBRACE His hugs and kisses. LAY down, your feelings of shame and inadequacies. Be not insecure, about HIS guardianship, of YOU. You are SAFE in HIS loving arms. ~~~~~ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️



I will write MORE about that TV show later. Becuase, it has been a great refrence, in the HEALING process. But, the one THING, that REALLY jumps out, from my memory of it, is simple. The doctor came in, after one of the babies, had died. He spoke to the dad character. I believe his name is Jack. What He told him, is such wisdom, and just fact. He said, ” if you can take the sourest of LEMON, and somehow, make LEMONADE; you have done well.” I may have misquoted it a bit. But, here is what it made me think of. “WELL DONE THY GOOD and FAITHFUL SERVANT.” Some think we have to wait, till our life ends, to hear these words. But, that is NOT so, you can hear them often; by God’s Grace. 🙂 ❤️ 💔 ❤️ 💧 😭



I rememeber, when WE had to make tough choices, my husband and I. Not, that we don’t have to anymore, because sometimes , WE DO. But, in the beginning, WE had some whoppers. We had to decide, whether to give CHEMO, to our daughter. My husband and I prayed, and fasted too. Before WE even knew completely, what THAT meant. Most of ALL, we sought peace. We said to JEsus, “She belongs to you. What do YOU want?” The asnwer we received, was a simple answer. Yet, it was PROFOUND too. He asked us a question, “What takes more faith, for you to do it the EASY way, or the one, that takes TRUST completely?” Love❤️



We decided, HE wanted a balance for our girl. And, she GOT that. For 5.5 months she was in the hospital. Rarely did WE leave, unless directed. She shined her LIGHT of ❤️ LOVE , so VERY brightly. SO many came to know JESUS’s LOVE because of her, willingness to endure. ~ This is still happening , because of His Grace.  ❤️ ❤️ ❤️



So many STILL are being FREED by the SEEDS of LOVE, planted. Grateful for that. It is what MAKES the journey, worth it! We chose to TRUST God, in ways we could not fathom. I would pray for our marriage, and JESUS began changing ME. I needed healing, because how could I be an example of ❤️ LOVE ? I sure did NOT know how to 🔦  shine it, like SOME. But GOd, He would patiently and delicately show me. And as this happened, there WAS healing that would come. THAT amazed me. Sarah was healed, in the hospital. ❤️  IN fact, God healed her numerous times. The doctors, were in awE of ALL the miracles. I still AM. Not, because of the miracles, themselves, but just because of how powerful, HIS LOVE is. #HisLOVEHEALSUS ~ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️



My husband was HEALED in our HOme. Love❤️ And healing, Lasts, by the GRACE of God. Yes, that seems ODD to some. But, it is TRUE. You can have and by HIS Grace, do HAVE divine healing. It is your JOB, to receive it. It is your JOB to believe it. And, when you cannot, you MUST rely on JESUS to do it. Because, HE absolutely WILL. There is NO question about that. HIS ❤️ LOVE  will strengthen, heal, reveal and save. It will make, even YOUR enemies, LIVE at peace with you. His ❤️ LOVE  will do, what nothing else, can DO. It will MAKE you WHOLE. ~~~ ❤️


So today, CHOOSE this day, whom you serve. Do you SERVE the rescuer & GOOD KNIGHT?


For HE is a GOD of GREAT and BIG ❤️ LOVE !!!!!!! And one day, THIS world will END. and, when it does, it is BEST to be allied, with HIM. Because, anything else, will DESTROY. Grace Grace. ~



Heavenly FATHER, thank you for returning memories, so tenderly. Jesus thank you for standing for and with US. Holy Spirit, thank you for nurturing us, and replenishing every NEED. There is a HUMBLING happening, in the BODY. Grace be unto US and them. THank you for your LOVE. We come with repentant hearts, JOYFULLY willing to receive, ALL you have to give. WE praise you in advance. You are so FAITHFUL. Thank you for closing all doors, not devoted to YOU. For opening up, 2 the Gates of Heaven, for your KIDS. WE praise YOU, and give you HONOR. In Jesus name and BLOOD. AMen ~ ❤️















15 Sep 2018

SEcreTS of HEAVEN ~~~

Sunset from Morton Overlook, Great Smoky Mountains National Park, Tennessee

Sunset from Morton Overlook, Great Smoky Mountains National Park, Tennessee


jesus face







Smoky-MountainsMy favorite NUMBER is 333. It is NOT an easy number to BE part of. Let’s break it down some. #3 represents Glory, and the Heaven made UNITED trinity. #33 represents the AGE Jesus was, when HE did HIS ministry on EARTH. According to a site, called “bible Numbers for LIFE” it means A SIGN from GOD.  Love❤️ There are so MANY beautiful , MEANINGS of this ONE number!!!! Here I sit, in AWE of the redemption, of what WAS. It has already COME. Yes, it HAS. Yet, to US, we often only SEE, a portion, of WHAT has been. So many reasons why. There could be BLINDERS on our eyes. Pain, Stress, strife, old wounds, can contribute to PERCEPTION. Not to mention, how they can affect, OUR directions 2. ~~~ ❤️



There are SOME who, because of their DESTINY, are called to have MORE suffering than others. NOt to compare, or contrast, anyone. It is JUST a fact of life. Funny, THAT is where He is going with this. Back to TV again. 🙂 The THEME song, of the TV show , “The FACTS of LIFE” says so MUCH. Lyrics are, that I recall. ..” You take the good, you take the bad. You take em’ ALL, and their you have the facts of LIFE. the Facts of LIFE.”  Love❤️ The whole song, has hidden beauty, truth and wisdom of Heaven. 🙂 That show, was a favorite of mine, as a KID. Back then, I wanted to laugh. Because, from such a young age, I was practically um, FORCED to CRY. And, sometimes, I just COULD NOT keep it inside. Even now, there are moments, I will JUST burst into TEARS. THIS is how, my healing has happened here. Not, the ONLY way, but ONE. By God’s grace, ALONE. ~~~~~~ ❤️



I remember now, SOMEONE, told me, “YOU hold the secrets of heaven inside.” I thought, ” SO do you.” WE ALL, whom have chosen JESUS, have the KEYS. 🔑 🔑  Yet, do WE use them? I am speaking to ME too. LOrd knows, I am FAR from perfect. I admit THIS daily. But, MY GOD who made me, and make ME OVER daily, IS PERFECT!!!!! His timing IS, HIs  Love❤️ LOVE is, HIs HEART is. EVERYTHING about JESUS, is TRUE PERFECTION! In this world, WE will have TROUBLE, at time. Funds, may not seem to be, what they should. A child may be going through the valley of DEATH. You might barely, be functioning.  But GOD, is SOVEREIGN. HIS LOVE is healing. Love❤️



The number #1 SECRET of Heaven, is simple. CHOOSE Jesus. ❤️  That does not SEEM like a secret. IT seems, like it SHOULD be a NO brainer. Yet, when trials come, and GO. Who are we looking to, for HELP? ARe we choosing HIS LOVE, above ALL else? ~~~~ ❤️



I will JOYFULLY admit, that I struggle, at TIMES, with HIS plans. Let me be CLEAR here, I do not purposefully, FIGHT His plans. But, there are times, in MY own strength, that I have made some MAJOR foul ups. And, oh am I, thankful for GRACE. ❤️  His Grace covers ME and US. It brings FREEDOM, that is TOUgh to put into words. SOME think it is absurd. BUT, it still IS there. Love❤️



There is a PEACE, because of HIS GRace, that bad is gonna NOT overtake. There is JOY, in the mourning process too. Why? Because, He set it up that way. He chose for JOY and sorrow, to be married together. One cannot exist, without the other. And, as WE trust in HIS ways, and plans, there is JOY, immeasureable, in ALL things! I am NOT saying, you will always FEEL happy or JOYFUL. But, you CAN be, rooted in the JOY of Jesus. I am LIVING proof, that IT will be your strength. ~~~~~~ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️



Joy, in feeling neglected, and at times unprotected too. I have so been there. I still battle, the NOTHINGNESS, that surfaces, in THIS world. But God. ~~~ ❤️



Secret #2, YOU cannot mess HIS plan UP, and neither can ANYONE else. YOu do not have to FIX things around you. Yes, you have a ROLE to play. That is TRUE. However, HE is GOD with and without US. WE can REST in HIS doing what HE does. HE will bring VICTORY, as WE REST in HIS LOve. ❤️  I remember the first TIME, I learned THIS…



It was when Sarah was born. That very day, at 6:30am. I looked down, at this precious angel. Angel😇 butterfly👐 With FEAR and TREMBLING, and reverence for GOd really, I would find. Years later, the intimacy and ❤️ LOVE , would become EVIDENT. But, there was this whisper, as I looked into HER eyes. Yes, to my surprise, just for me, just for a moment, she LOOKED at me. I remember, others around, saying, “That is IMPOSSIBLE.” And, I said, “I promise SHE DID.” And in those eyes, Heavenly whispers, EVEN then. Love❤️ Saying, “YOU CANNOT mess THIS up. ” Telling me, even if I were to try to, HE had a plan for that too. 🙂 ❤️



It is NOT easy, LIVINg LIFE, like this. Even people JESUs chooses , have often persecuted and slandered US. Yet, we DO count it ALL joy. Because, WE are HIS kids!!!! Love❤️ He does NOT Fail. No matter, how it SEEMS. He will RESTORE broken DREAMS. I trust HIM. How about you? Whom and what shall WE Fear? Nothing, and I do mean NOTHING, is Greater, than HIS LOVE. ❤️  And, HIS LOVE is HERE, for US. ~~~~



That brings us to secret #3. HIS LOVE will HEAL you, as you allow HIM to have COMPLETE access to EVERYTHING. #HisLOVEHEALS . ~~~ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️



These principals, and secrets SEEM so simple, right? Yet applying them, 2 LIFE takes tremendous GRACE. More each day, in SOME ways. And when more Grace is given, well the FIRE turns up. Lyrics, “The heat is on. It’s on the streets” Remember that Song? The FIRE of His ❤️ LOVE , is greater than that, of the enemy. It will feel cold, sometimes in THIS world. But, it will NOT go out! It will BURN, until ETERNITY!!!!




Love❤️ Not everyone will LOVE, what Jesus gives you. That is, so okay. YOu just let HIM LOVE you, ANYWAY. The job, of the CHILDREN of God, is to LOVE. To Forgive, and to STAND in HIS Heavenly Essence. YES. We are often, beautifully broken. But, it does NOT always FEEL good. I can testify to THIS too. WE can. However, HIS LOVE is worth, the suffering. There is NOTHING better, not on earth, or HEAVEN, than the LOVE of GOD. ~~~~~ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️



As we approach the 5 year MARK, I remember she was and IS, and always will BE. A Grace child, a mirror of HIS beauty. Yet, still voices and lies, of the world try to TAKE away, from the GOOD and wonder. As the song, “CHILD of the ONE true KING.” (C Tomlin) comes on. We REFUSE to be conformed to THIS world. He commands, “BE transformed, by the renewing of OUR minds.” This is in the LIFE book. Not certain of where. But, it is THERE. Love❤️



To be quite transparent, THIS has not been, an EASY 5 years. There has been pain,  shouting, at times as WELL as CRYING, and not as obvious JOY. But, HIS LOVE has sustained us. It preserves US, each and every single day. And as many spew hate, WE now can smile. Not to mock, or anything bad. But just because JESUS has it covered. FRom dawn to dust, and vice versa, HE will fight for YOU. ” Be still and know, that HE is GOD.” (psalm 46) ~~~ ❤️



Secret #4 The LORD wants a willing child, with a heart of repentance and surrender. THIS way, the LOVE of God, can penetrate, through the PAIN. His heavenly RAIN will appear. It may NOT always feel, like Heaven to us. But, it IS. Grace Grace. ~~~ love❤️




And #5 SECRET – Through HIS eyes, ANYONE is LOVED. You can LOVE your enemies, through the EYES of Jesus. His heart , is that NONE should perish. ~~~ Thus, it should be OUR heart. Yet, WE cannot choose FEAR….. and try and manipulate circumstances, around us. Forgive us LORD. Many are still choosing Fear, over FAITH in His ways. But God. He stays the SAME. always. Thank GOD for Grace. love. ❤️



Also, choose THIS day, whom you serve. ONLY He knows, for SURE. Do you serve the ONE who saved you then and NOW? Because, IF YOU DO, He asks one thing. LET HIM LOVE YOU!!!! This day, of Delieverance, choose to say YES to HIS heart. He will take those torn apart pieves, and pieces too. HE will HEAL YOU. It is finished. YOU will see it. WE are proof, of HIs LOVE. 🙂 ❤️


Father in HEAVEN, mutiply your ❤️ LOVE,  in this land. Thank you in advance. Holy Spirit blow away the bad and the yuck. Jesus thank you, for being the 🔑 KEY, to more than WE need. We praise you, and give you honor, ALWAYS. Most, of all, we come with repentant hearts. And, we TRUST you, to rewind and bring HEALING. To restore, like never b4, and erase when necessary. You are EVERYTHING to US. We receive your LOVE, with JOY, this day!!!! in Jesus name and BLOOD, we pray. Amen. ~ ❤️



#JUSTKEEPLOVING – the secret that has NO number 🙂 IT is infinite. 🙂 Jesus 🙂 ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️



In His Grace,


14 Sep 2018

PERseVerE ~ #EveryTeAR 💧 ❤️ 🌻🌸 🚆

  1. 10527370_10152605851838879_2057460581450348634_n12166887_10207993635856946_547456957_n13933360_10155100327842785_752944123_nfighting-parentslarge29caf0651dd94f57758d9befcb449fc8184414_10151642914512863_1045860989_nWhen the LORD awoke ME, knowing current conditions, today….I said “YES Lord.” Yet, my physical BODY wanted more SLEEP. Somedays, it SEEEMS so little to ME. But, as someone  love❤️ ❤️ ❤️ lovingly reminded me, “It TAKES what it TAKEs.” It definitely DOEs…do THAT. I asked HIM what to SPEAK on, today with written WORDS. And, one word CAME. SURRENDER. That WORD…oh MY. Has been a culprit, and connection to SO many lies, HERE. But, by HIS Grace, may THAT be NOW overturned. In Jesus NAME.  Love❤️ Everything is CONNECTED. Some days, I would LIKE that NOT to BE. But, it IS. It is a SIMPLE fact, and it does NOT have to SCARE ME. And it does not have to BRING fear 2 YOU, either. By HIS Grace, FREEDOM can come in it’s place. ~~~ ❤️



So, Act 2 SCENE 3, it seems…



“JUST BREATHE”, i hear my Jesus say. ~~~  The song ON – “I will RISE” (CTomlin) ❤️



“”I will RISE when HE calls MY NAME. No MORE SORROW, NO MORE PAIN.”” That lyric. WOW . Just that one. NOt to mention the WHOLE SONG. Manna HERE. NO need 4 trying to be perfect. JESUs knows, everything I naturally SEE as flaws. To HIM, that MAKES His design, MORE beautiful, at the CROSS. And by HIS Grace, ME too. ~~~~ ❤️




So, in THIS scene picture THIS… a child in her bed. Age 9. Sound asleep, and dreaming in peace. Then, in SUDDEN SHOCk, her Momma comes IN. The MOMMA is in a PANIC. Because, this CHILD’s ROOM has just been ASSAULTED. There were ROCKS thrown, through the WINDOWS. 2, at LEAST that I recall there. One, in at least another ROOM in the house. The MOMMA is completely FREAKING out. The husband, and Daddy trying to comfort her. But, NOT knowing what to say. And that CHILD, for a LOOOOOOOOng time, could NOT sleep peaceful, after that DAY. While this is happening, her brother, middle and his friend, were watching TV in the “play room.”  That room, was the ONE in the home, where FRIENDS, would come and fellowship. ~~~



Also, same NIGHT the mail box OUTSIDE, made of RUBBER then. To our surprise, after assesment, by AUTHORITIES….bashed IN. Yet, by God’s Grace, WE remained SAFE. ❤️  My middle brother again, in the scene, directed by my Momma was told to get a movie. Specifically, ONE for ME. I can ONLY imagine now, if HE had the thought, “her needs first again.” I pray and hope NOT. Only Heaven knows, for sure. I know I pray, for healing of wounds, that CAME from years of neglect and abuse. I say THAT in respect to MY life, and OTHERS 2. I ask forgiveness b4 God, about these times in LIFE. Because, NOW so much SEEMS lost. The TEARS, starting to FORM. I have to believe HE HAS what is LOST. Because, He is indeed, KING of the LOST and Found. ~~~~~ ❤️ ❤️


In Reflection, I am grateful, for the MOVIe. But, OH did THAT FILM, tell a lot that night. YET no one spoke of it. THEN. It was my FAVORITE, at that TIME. It was my SARAH Bear’s favorite. That was her Name here. One of MANY, from endearance and LOVE. I am grateful, for my brother… who stayed with ME, then. I was shaking like a LEAF. I was more frightened, of the FEAR, i saw on my mother’s FACE. The whole EVENT, did not shake me, NEARLY as much, as seeing HER distress. I cannot speak for my brother, on this topic. Nor, will I try. Perhaps, ONE day He will chime IN, In kind. I would welcome THAT. Just emphasis on the KIND, part needed. He has always shown me kindness. Even at TIMES, he did not understand, or had his own stuff going on. My brother’s heart, has always had  love❤️ LOVE for me. In some ways, true of them BOTH. I repent, and ask forgiveness, for NOT believing THAT long ago. ~~~




The song… ‘Once and for ALL’  – (Lauren Diagle) “Help me to LAY it down. Oh Lord, I lay it DOWn. Oh let THIS BE, where I die. My LORD with THEE, crucified. Be lifted HIGH, as MY KINGDOMS Fall. Once and for ALL. Once and for ALL.” This MUSIC — ALL music HAS so MUCH meaning, even MORE than b4. EVERYTHING does. People, places, things, mean A LOT. Let me be VERY clear HERE…they will NEVER mean more, no EVER than JESUS. Yet, thank God for the GRACE to appreciate the GIFTS . “EVERYGOOD and PERFECT GIFT, COMES from ABOVE.”  Yes That is in the LIFE BOOK. Address, not sure yet. But have learned, google is often a friend. 🙂 ~~~ ❤️



I want my Family, in particular my BRothers, to know. That is they ever had a NEED, no matter how small or BIG…. IF WE, could help, WE would. THAT is a promise. Because, you are SO LOVED. Love love❤️ I know, THAT as a sister, I have Royally MESSED up, A LOT. I truly PRAY that forgiveness will COME, in EVERY degree. LISTEN 2 MY HEART, I so want my FAMILY, NOT RIPPED apart. And, I forgive the HANDS, and mouths that have been, instruments to that MESS. But, please SEE the last paragraph, and crucifixtion of SELF. This is PART of that. Oh Heaven, hear the YELP. ~~~


It is LIKE animals, CAUGHT in a SNARE. All the while, often entertaining angels , unaware. That is what happens HERE on earth. This scene, this ACT. I am not the writer, director, of even greatest actor, or showperson. That TITLE is FAR greater than, I am. It belongs to the HOLY Lamb of God. And only HE can set captives FREE. I include myself in THIS too. He sets me FREE daily. And if I do NOT agree, I go RIGHT back into, OLD captivities. In a snap, that can happen to me. It could happen to ANYONE. The ONLY one it cannot happen to, is JESUS. Because Jesus never FELL. ~~~ ❤️



Back to the SCENE…this LIFE MOVIE. Wow.  As soon as the INVADERS left our HOME, it seemed the next TARGET was the school. It was the HIGHSCHOOL , my mother taught. She taught there for 35 Years. Actually, it would be 36 if you count the prep year, before official. Whoa, that is NEW today. “He makes ALL things NEW.” Indeed. They destroyed the CHOIR room and BAND room. And, they EVEN threw a PIANO, off the Stage in a theater. I believe it was the MAIN theater. They took spray paint and tagged walls, and just brought CHAOS. I do NOT recall if they were drinking, or involved with drugs. But, none of that would shock me. I’m not naming the NAMES of their family, or MINE, because discretion protects. Jesus is the director HERE, not I. Thank GOD for that. Lyrics on – ” Everyone needs compassion…the kindness of a SAVIOR.” (Mighty to Save” – Hillsong United )Yes, EVERYONE deserves Grace, LOVE and kindness. EVERYONE. Even those who TRIED to RUIN everything. THEY deserve it too. ~~~ ❤️



FADE into the NEXT day. I was exhausted, and trying to just breathe. My mom, trying to act like everything was FINE. Reminds me of another MOVIE. Um, it is called, “THe Prince of Tides.” I will come back to THAT though. The kid, the boy and leader of the pack then, came to see MOMma. She was Sooooooooo ANGRY. Yet, she was a God Fearing woman. She did the BEST she could, in that respect. He asked her, to forgive him. I heard her tell this story. Back then, to probably her BEST friend. My Momma said, ” NO!”  I overheard, and was like, What? You said No????!!!!???? I don’t understand. Yet again, I am told… “Katy, THIS is an ADULT conversation. YOU would NOT understand.” But, I DID understand, MORE than they KNEW. I kept thinking, “does he not deserve mercy?” ~~~



I was ANGRY, and not being able to BE HEARD. That clouded, a LOT in so many WAYS. But God. She never SAW me, CRY because I was rejected. I ALWAYS felt, I had to FIGHT for every words. Sometimes, from Momma’s mouth there were be a mock. Example, at dinner….I would try to be kind, show respect. And, instead of LOVE I got, ” It is TIME for KAty’s words.” Looking back, I forgive that, because there was, WAY more going on, than I knew ALL about. But, they refused to TELL me. And, THAT made me SHOUT and ROAR. Constant rejection, eventually opened that DOOR, to CUTTING and self HARM. No ones Fault or Blame. It is JUST how it went down. And everything that GOES down, by God’s Grace comes UP again. I pray it COMES up, in a healing WAY, 4 US ALL. ❤️ ~



WE cannot CHANGE the past. But, I would LOVE a fresh start. Especially with my BROTHERS. In some ways, there is NO Greater, desire of my HEART. In our own WAYS, WE have been RIPPED to SHREDS, TOO MANY times, too count. WE are better together. For some Reason, I rembeer, hearing THAT, as a kid. I watched a group last night, on AGT. It was a SISTEr and her Brother’s in a BAND. And, the most beautiful SONG too. Sadly, the Judges did NOT fully get it. But, Heaven will make ways for those 3. And I am believeing GOD, that HE will do that for ME 2. Because HIS Love does that, NO matter HOW it SEEMS. ~~~~~ ❤️


I truly do BELIEVE, that b4 my Momma left this earth, she chose to FORGIVE all THOSe involved that day. And despite attempts to DESTROY….I still officially CHOSE Jesus THAT year. Because not just ONE thing works, for those who LOVE God, but ALL things. The curtain closed, ON my LIFE here, for 5 minutes. But, that Curtain, OPENED UP again. Resurrection HAPPENED. It happens STILL. Every DAY new MIRACLES. Grace. Love. Mercy. Peace. Rest. Completeness. WHOLENESS. THIS is what HE promised THEn, and NOW. ~ But oh WOW, the JOURNEY along the WAY. ~~~ ❤️



  1. I pray for RESTORATION of OLd friendships, that fell by the wayside. I pray forgiveness BE FOREFRONT, as WE abide under the shadow, of the ALMIGHTY. By His Grace, may we NOT FEAR. By His Grace, may HIS LOVE conquer HERE. Help us, be STILL and KNOW, that you are GOD. Especially when others, think it is ODD. Have your way, mighty KING. We praise YOU. Help us PERSEVERE. Like ain’t always EASY here. Catch every TEAR that falls, and help us get up and RISE in your LOVE. We surrender ALL once and for ALL. ~ In Jesus name and BLOOD. Amen. ~~~~ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️




In His Grace,








12 Sep 2018

DISGRAAaaaCE ~ No DEAL!!! 💼 ❤️ 🔕 😇 👐



Deep Breath….. As This Begins ~~~ ❤️



There are SO MANY times, that stretching is REQUIRED in LIFE. And, IT stretches US, to GO deeper In God. Now, For Me personally, THAT is not as EASy as it would SEEM. At first, GOING there is WONDERFUL!!! It is full of, beautiful AROMAs, and LOVE and PEACE. No, wait THAT is Backwards. Because, my FRIENDS… it is NOT, what HAPPENED to ME. I am SHARING today, something, that I could NOT IMAGINE, putting ON This PAGE. But, I literally AHVE to do it. I HAVE to, do it. Yes, it is a REQUIREMENT, in the Healing process. That is so TRUE. But, it has been GRACE to keep it HELD back, for THIS LONG. Grace, in regards to SOOOOOOOOO Many LIVES. And, it is simply, TIME, HIS TIME to SPEAK. ~~~




May THIS be COVERED in LOVE ❤️ His


❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ 💐🌸💮🏵🌹🌳🌲🌱🌷🌼🌻🌺🐛🐌🐜🐝🐞🌹🏵🌲🌳🌱🏵💮🌸🌷🌼💐🌻🌺



UNLIKE, most ENTRIES…where I site MUSIC that is given to ENCOURAGE. It is in background, today. I can BARELY hear the words. TALK about WAY out of my COMFORT ZONE. Yet, my AMAZING blanket of comfort, is HERE with ME. Love❤️ He NEVER leaves my 💞 HEART . ~~~


So, BEAR with ME, as I RECALL and begin to SHARE, the MANY ways of temporary ….TORN APART and ASUNDER. I will SHARE LOTS of the TWISTS and the TURNS. It will SEEM, like a movie script. Somedays, I so WANT a different ROLE. I look Up, crying, ” I DID NOT, SIGN UP 4 THIS!” But God. He is faithful Still. Tears. Laying down the FEARS. Grace Grace. Laying down the MANY Betrays. Grace Grace.





From a VERY early Age, I was Molested. It does NOT matter who it was. Because, I blame them NOT. My prayer, has been FOR a long time, for HEALING for them, and anyone afffected, by THAT choice, in that LIFE. Forgiveness, is ESSENTIAL, just for SURVIVAL. This, I must, EMPHASIZE. ~


Yet, sometimes, when THINGS are done, towards US, I look UP and just say…. “I can’t.” Not…I can’t forgive. JUst, a please and a cry to JESUS, that it MUST be HE, that does it, EVEN through ME. Because, EVEN if I am Equipped, I’m just NOT able to FEEL it yet. I pray that makes sense. ~~~ Sometimes , THE pain just CUTS so DEEP . Only He can protect, ONE from bleeding OUT. His ❤️ Love, a guard 💂 in and of itself.  ~





I have been so BEATEN with WORDS. Even THAT word, (molested) has SO MUCH in it. If you break it down, it says MOL – like a MOLE ( someone who is captive or a spy ) Less – Oh MY, DID I feel LESS THAN, for a LONG time. Here i am 42, next ➡️ month.  That, less than, in the equation, STILL… Takes JESUS,  2 stop.  ⛔ And the last part is interesting, because there is SOMETHING called TED talks, ( referring to molested)  and they are ALL about knowledge of GOOD and Evil. Essesntially, they are a place to TALK about the world, and ideas in it.



There have been some fascinating TALKS. Even today, By God’s Grace, one of my FAVORITE talk shows, is “THE TALK.” God has brought REDEMPTION, JOY even, in this place, and with THESE amazing gifts, and tools, mentioned above. He still IS, every SINGLE day, in SOME way. WE pray for the people and their families. Because, EVERYONE deserves Jesus’s LOVE. ~ ❤️






HURTING people, HURT people. That is a FACT. It sounds cliche. But, IT is TRUTH. Most people, unless completely given OVER 2 Evil, do NOT mean to. And when I had THIS TRAUMA happen, in MY LIFE. It began, to CREATE so MUCH STRIFE. And I was speaking to someone yesterday, on THIS. They said, ” But you were so little.” Tears. That is soooooooooooooo TRUE.



Yet, for SO LONG, I believed it WAS my FAULT. And, that does NOT make SENSE, at ALL. But, it is TRUE. I suspect, OTHERS in my BLOODLINE biological….encountered similar monsters. Perhaps, EVEN the same. Yet, NONE will speak, of these THINGS. And, I wanted to TALK, I wanted to be FREE of THIS. Even as a CHILD. TEARS….. THIS is so HARD.





JESUS protected MY Sarah butterfly ANGEL, SO MANY times….FROM this HORRID danger. She saw the Monster, but it NEVER attached.  In fact, because of THAT ,at a conference once, Jesus used her, to heal, a child, her age.  ❤️  I am So beyond WORDS Grateful, she NEVER experienced IT, LIKE ME. That HE USED her, to REWRITE History.




In SO MANY WAYs, that is TRUE. But, was it an EASY thing for HER to Do? No!!!!! I marvelled EVERY single DAY, at JESUS in her. I would say, ” I WANT that.” Never from a place of jealous of OVERZEALOUS. At least, not with that intention or purpose. Jesus 4give, if it WAS ever present. Thank HEAVEn’s you ALWAYS SEE and KNOW MY heart. Love❤️ He LOOKS upon our Hearts, beloved ONES. I would WATCH her interaction with GOD. I would SEE HIM fill her UP! The DEPTH of LOVE and FAITH within, and what SHE went without…JUST AMAZED ME. Tears. IT STILL does, EVENTHOUGH VERY different NOW. ~~~~~~ 💔 ❤️





This RIVER of TEARS…I often WONDER, will it EVER run DRY. Yet, HIS LOVE is HERE, with EVERY TEAR I cry. As Katy, I just hated myself. I JUST wanted to be ME. And, yet EVERYWHERE I looked there seemed no lasting treasure. I was SEARCHING for Jesus, even then. I tried to relate to others. But, this THING that happened, caused DARKNEss to CREEP in, and around. And, it was NOT just ONE thing, or that one moment…IT was LOTS of little moments, that added UP to, this seemingly EVIL equation. The opposite, of EVIL, is LIVE. And, I just could NOT. No matter how I tried. Something was trying, to TAKE my LIFE. And I did NOT know why. And when I asked, I was told, ” You are TOO YOUNG to understand.” To be REALLY raw, That made me MAD. I mean, REALLy MAD!!!!! 😡  I was not EVEN given a chance to TRY. 😭





My Parents, biological, God bless them. Now, in HEAVEn, are THEY…and I am so GLAD. They are SAFE there, and LOVE  love❤️ REMAINs, STEADFAST. But, they began giving me THINGS. Perhaps, it was to distract ME. And, I got one thing, then 2, then 3, then 4. Then….next THING you know it, I APPEAR to have EVERYTHING I want. And, guess what…THOSe things…did NOTHING for me longterm. #temporaryjoy.




I remember trying to share them, with others, but yeah…that did not always work. Because, when others are jealous, of things, and wrapped in HURT, they do NOT want what YOU have. And they did NOT. It seemed NO one wanted me. My Mother loved me, YET she would get SO ANGRY. I mean, her ANGER would TERRIFY ME….And I, did not understand THEN, the DEPTH of THAT. Grace. But GOD.



Somehow, with Momma, HE always brought forgiveness. And, SHE fought for me, and my brothers too. She did the BEST she could, with what she knew. THEY both did. WE ALL did. ~~~ ❤️


People COME into our LIVES, for REASONs….SEASONS…LIFETIMES. Yet, it FEELs…like SO few…STAY for the LIFETIME. Sarah so DESIRED brothers and sisters. SO, we fostered for a bit. It was in some ways, a BEAUTIFUL thing. In others, it was something, we had to ALWAYS take to the CROSS>>> . In the end, it FELT like, we LOST a battle. Yet, WE have such COMFORT, in KNOWING Jesus wins… 🏆 And, has WON the WAR. We are NOT holding onto offenses. WE ARE , by HIS Grace…on purpose ASKING HIM, to help US continually FORGIVE each accusation, curse, and just YUCK. Some, of it, ended up in print. And, WE are grateful that HE handled it. Because WE are natural detectives. And, WE wanted to FIX it. But, we kept saying, have YOUR way, and HE kept the BAD at BAY. He still does, NO MATTER how it MAY seem. He is the AUTHOUR of our dreams. ❤️




Our prayer has ALWAYS been, that injustices, that SEEMED to happen towards US, be redeemed, for the SAKE of Jesus. And, that THIS Redemption, MULTIPLY to the BODy of CHRIST. Because, so MANY are hurting. JESUS is in ANGUISH for and WITH the broken. He hurts, when the wounded, pick up weapons, and use them AGAINST each other. His heart breaks, and aches, because He knows, there IS a better way. The faint sound. ” Be BORN in ME” Tears. The LAST song WE sang together. TEARS. Oh, this STORM to weather. My LOVE, by ❤️  Jesus LOVE, said to me recent, ” I miss the sun.” He was talking about this season, how much RAIN we have gotten. Me, I am saying, the RAIn is GOOD. It is so DESPERATELY needed. But HE, was sharing feeling different. David and I, in some WAYS, different as NIGHT and DAY. Yet one thing those 2 have in COMMON. JESUS. ~ ❤️



I had a DEAR sis, say …. ” YOU think YOU GUYS, are THAT different. I don’t SEE it.” I had to take that to GOD. Because, I thought…Maybe I am missing something. And then, I remembered THIS…DIFFERENT but SAME. WE have BOTH had DISGRACE.



I think, one of the fun memories, as a kid is with my granny. She LOVED game shows. 🙂 I cannot remember, if “Deal or NO DEAL” was on then. But, perhaps something like it WAS. I know she LOVED Jeopardy, and WHEEL of Fortune. I sometimes, would WATCH. Othertimes, I would crawl on her bed, or the bed in the other room, and go to sleep. Sleep was where God helped me. It was my ESCAPE. In some ways, a safe place. I slept A LOT. Yet, I was always tired. ( Did not know officially, about spirit WAR then)



I remember as a KID, my MOM called me katydid, like the bug. I NEVER liked that nickname. I did NOT think of it, or SEE it as endearing. I much prefered, when she called me other things. For some REASON, and I think it goes back to that experience, I associated, the NAME KATY with blame. I would always defend, saying…”It is NOT My fault.” Many would LIE and say it WAS. Sometimes, i did things wrong too. But, I would ALWAYS confess. Because, I was NOT then, nor NOW am I great with BAD secrets. I’m not saying I cannot be trusted.  By God’s GRACE alone, I CAN. The secrets, I could not KEEP were my own. Now, OTHERS…they told ME everything. MANY still confide in me. By God’s Grace, I am honored, for the confidence, of Jesus in ME most. Lord knows, the wisdom GIVEN, is NOT my own. Even MY desire to HELP others BE FREE, comes from HE. ~~~~ His LOVE . ❤️ ❤️ ❤️




I went through MUCH depression…FROM a VERY early age. Age 8, first counselor I saw. It did not last long. I just remember, a female. Maybe, a friend of my parents, THEN. That was AFTER the TOUNGE cutting incident. (age 7.5) People said, I made a covenant with Death. But, I did NOT. Because, JESUS took DEATH and conquered it ON the CROSS. The NEXT time, I saw a doctor for THAT, was age 14 1/2. I was dating someone then. And, it was NOT exactly going well. From my first KISS with a boy, it was just utter Hell. And, I kept searching for HEAVEN. I looked in the church. Grace the cornerstone there, literal. In the building, it LIES. I did not KNOW, why I felt disconnected, from  MY KING. Sadness just hit me, EVERYDAY. I longed for help, and a path I could know.



And the counselors and doctors, just gave me PILLS. They LOOKED at me, and saw symptoms, THEN. I tried, to say, these pills, are not helping, as you SAY. But, you SEE they kept me quieter, calmer, and for those around me, I APPEARED all BETTER. But, I was so FAR from IT. Deeper and DEEPER, I would FALL, into the RABBIT HOLE. This PIT of DESPAIR and DESTRUCTION. PAIN that I just COULD NOT EXPLAIN. TORMENT, TORTURE and no other word, at that time, but SHEOL. Some say HELL. It was HORRIBLE. People who KNEW me then….and KNOW me now… still are in SHOCK at the miracles. I stand in AWE and shock and WONDER TOO! Because, so MANY nights, I CRIED…SHRIEKED, was BEATEN with CHAINs, and occasionally things would show up in DREAMS. I did not know, you could have visions, then. But, I am sure, I did. Some, brought on by medication. But, what was MEANT to HARM me, my GOD used for MY GOOD. GREAT GRACE!!!!! ❤️



It was that SAME age…14 1/2, i picked up the same color razor, and began to CUT again. I had NO idea, WHAT that would do. I just heard a voice, saying, “THIS will help you.” It was a LIE. Of course it was. It appeared to HELP, but ONLY brought MORE destruct. AND, it became ANOTHER addiction. FOR 10 YEARS, I CUT. It would be YEARS later, that I would see JESUS, by my bedside. HE was CRYING, TEARS of BLOOD. For ME…and for YOU. WE MATTER THAT MUCH! THE CHILDREN MATTER to the KINGDOM of HEAVEN!!!!!




NOW, I know, that there was intercession happening, back then. I prayed for many. I would PRAY for friends, family, strangers. I had NO IDEA, what that MEANT. I would just say, Lord help them. People at the CHURCH, would say get in the WORD. I tried too. Oh MAN, did I try. Every single time, I opened, my BIBLE and read a verse, it was like a BOMB went OFF. BAD things, started happening. And, I was like…WAIT this is supposed to HELP ME. But, it was NOT a comfort, it was NOT a refuge. it was NOT a place of strength or HOPE. NOPE. It was a place or PRISON and just TORMENT for me…THEN. It was not, a friend. ANd, I did NOT understand. I said, I was sorry, I tried to stop. But no matter what, this cycle, SEEMED to keep SPINNING. And, yeah it sure LOOKED like the enemies WERE winning.




And the WORST part, was EVERYONE around ME, thought MY LIFE was FREAKING perfect. In the MOVIE Titanic, the main CHARACTER, “ROSE” says a very specific LINE. She says, “All the while I’m standing in the middle of the ROOM, and NO one EVEN looks UP.” I will NEVER forget that film, I have lived so MUCH of it. AND, I will never forget the day, I saw it, and each person, that was there.





Love is what HAS to come FIRST. LOVE. Love❤️ ABOVE ALL. I know that NOW. Then, oh I was a mESSED up kid. And LIFE just got MESSIER every SINGLE day. Yet God would bring HIS Grace. And somehow, TIME would KEEP passing. Cleanups, would happen here and there. I sat in MANY different doctors offices over the years. By God’s GRACE, prayers for ALL those families. Half the time, it was tough, to stay awake. The BOOK knowledge, they tried to FEED ME, was a LOT. Just like the TED talks. Man, I was a sponge too. It would cause me to want to READ. I was a voracious reader, back then. Slowly, I am starting to READ again. My Sarah Butterfly angel baby, going into Grace 3, had grade 8 skills to READ. She had just WON a trophy, right before she went HOME. Oh so MUCH to that….



Sometimes, SLEEP is a luxury, I cannot AFFORD. But, REST I will take EVERYTIME. Because, in the REST, we RESIST EVIL STAND THANKFUL. and there is a RESET. ~~~~ THERE is PEACE RESTORED THERE. HEALING in HIS WINGS. NO Rules, and Regulations. Just HIS LOVE. It is the ONE place, that is JUST beauty, GRACE, and Mercy. There were MANY awards, I won as a child. I would get SO excited, and come home to share…. yet NO ONE seemed to care much about the JOY. I was not wanting to be prideful, or make things about ME. That has NEVER been, nor will EVER be my heart. Yet, LIES were spread then and NOW to the contrary. THAT tears JESUS apart. For THAT matter, when THAT happens to ANY of His children, it TEARS at HIS heart. His LOVE. 💗




I have to DAILY forgive MYSELF too. I have made some AWFUL choices. Yet, because of God’s GRACE, I can take the DEAL of HIS LOVE, and say NO DEAL!!!! to DISGRACE. For, I’d rather have GRACE. Wouldn’t YOU? I HAVE to forgive GOD too. Not because He is EVER wrong. But, because HIS will and PLAN, is OFTEN so HARD on MY HEART. I forgive Sarah, because she asked me to. She knew, it would be needed. I FORGIVE anyone ELSE involved too. It has been almost 5 years. Yet, THIS PAIN, WOW. I rarely speak on, HOW much it physically HURTS, at times. I dare NOT complain. Grace Grace. But, it came to me, just this EARLY hour. ~~~~ Apostle PAUL. “I will BOAST of MY weaknesses” He goes onto say…” For the GLORY of GOD” ❤️



WE USED to be… BOUND by religion. But people came IN and LOVED on Me, and US.  It happened to me first. Henrietta.  Angel 😇  Now, WE GET to do that too. We can LOVE ❤️. It is an HONOR, and a privilidge. It is NOT a HAVE to. I mean, it is, a have to, but in a WAY of  tribute.  Not prison. This gift, WE do NOT take LIGHTLY. For, it is a TREASURE. His LOVE cannot be MEASURED. LOVE. JESUS. PEACE. Hope. ARRIVES. ~~~~ in ALL THINGS…and PLANS. ~

❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

I will CLOSE this ENTRY by saying, I do my BEST… as does my David LOVE to get — OUT of the WAy so GOD can BRING HIS LOVE through. May HIS LOVE  love❤️ conquer, for YOU. It conquers, HERE daily. WE are LIVING proof!!!! By HIS Grace, if YOU have chosen HIS Love, YOU are 2. ~~~ May the LORD bless you and KEEP you, THIS DAY, and HEAL your brokenhearts, in HIS ways. May His countenance SHINE on your hOMes, and FAMILIES, and bring, what you NEED forth. Jesus, WE give you our repentant hearts. Heavenly Father thank you for being our JUDGE, and bringing RIGHTEOUSNESS forth, as promised. The Giants in THIS land will FALL, by YOUR GRACE. Holy Spirit, thank you for your NURTURING, wind, and rain. There is HEALING, and JOY in the midst of the grieving and pain. WE LOVE you, and praise YOU, in Jesus name. By His blood, AMEN. ~~~

In Better HANds are WE… by HIS Grace. ~~~~

His Warrior Child ~












That was then. This is NOW. ~~~~ HOLY COW ~~~ as that phrase goes…. Because WOW. I often look up, saying…” WHat happens NOW, or NEXT?” SOmetimes, I do NOT Get an answer, that day. Because, GOD is merciful. Oh, so thankful, HIS ways, are not OUR ways, or the HIGHWAYS we would naturally take.



11 Sep 2018

#50 JuBUilEE 4 ~ Me FREE ~ love❤️ 🎉 🎉 🎉

10356327_797736560298840_800842292463146719_n612wpFrT0WL._SX258_BO1,204,203,200_10906241_603447309799087_6353916573394658360_noriginal12717331_10154565145562785_6794794654758014875_nWell, I did NOT know I was going to be writing THIS MORNING. At least, NOT, for CERTAIN until I got up, and HIS ❤️  LOVE stirred. THAT is what HAPPENS with ME. But, might, I just TAKE a moment, ONCE again, to SAY, LIVINg this way…NOT ALWAYS EASY. Beautiful…YES. Wonderful…BY HIS GRACE. Full of BLessings, that HE can ONLY bring. But, oh MY the TESTS. SOmetimes, the TEST, will FEEL like, they LEAVE you in a MESS.  To be REALLY, frank… You may feel just ⛵ Shipwrecked, at Times.



I have to so…BREATHE, as I TYPE that. Because, there is INTERCEDE going ON. TEARS just FALL, some FROM my OWN aches, but NOT ALWAYS. AND, daily it TAKES, a process… SURRENDER, of ALL. Because, SOMETIMES things, appear to GET stolen, or taken. AND, WE appear to BE forsaken. BUt, I refuse to BELIEVe the LIEs, that MY GOD, is NOT Victorious. Or, that He would EVER, LEAVE us ALONE, or let US BE , swallowed UP by the DARK. NO!!!!! HIS ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️  LOVE is GREATER! THis is the TRUTH, in WHICH WE CAN STAND. Yet, it is the TRUTH, that Ignites, our  heart💞 HEARt too. You See?




So, to EXPLAIn , the TITLE this DAY. 50 is JUBILEE in the LIFE BOOK. ( the Bible ) It’s meaning THERE. So, it IS, the MEANING Here 2. 🙂 ❤️   Then, 4 is CREATIVE MIRACLES. I am ONE of THOSE, and SO are YOU!!! Then, “ME FREE” That is not just about MY FREEDOM. But, it is about, yours too. It is about, ALL of our FREEDOM.   I was HEARING, the cries, of children today. And, I am a CHILD 2. YES, I am technical, by age, an adult. Even Spiritually, no clue the AGE official, but it does NOT always FEEL young. That one, I believe can change, as WE walk with JESUS. AND that, is beautiful. Yet, I believe, that it is SAFE…to COMe to HIM as a child. Because, it is IN THAT place ….WHERE WE are HEALED. ~ It is WHAT I DID, and DO. ~ We are Held there.  ❤️




I NEED to be VERY transparent, and SAY, “It is super EASY for ME to fall back into OLD patterns” It takes JESUS to STOP me! I used to be horrible, about beating myself UP, I mean awful…. AND He showed me, I could NOT do THAT! Because HE created Me, with the HEavenly FATher, and Holy Spirit. Meaning, WE ALL were CREATED…in the IMAGE of GOD. And, HERE I was ripping myself to SHREDS. ME….NOT others. ME. I repented. I do again today. Because, yesterday…some challenges CAME. Yet, God’s faithfulness REMAINS. But, I had trouble, holding FAST, and laying myself down. Because, I am still QUITE broken. I say that not in justify. It is simple…TRUTH.



And, there is SUCH DEEP…HEALING happening. Yet, in the midst of THAT, it is required, to STILL tell the STORY. We have not REALLY stopped, and the STORY, not easy to SPEAK. But, by HIS Grace, the SEEDS of LOVE, go FORTH. And He continues, to bring Heaven.  😇  And, WE see more miracles, each DAY.  It is beautiful ,by the way.  ❤️ By, His Grace…. ~~~~~




Despite the ARROWs that FLY, and the other YUCK. WE PRAISE HIM!!! He is STILL WORTHY!!! The SONG Lyric ” CHAINS BE BROKEN LIVES BE HEALED. EYES BE OPENED. CHRIST IS REVEALED.” ( You’ll Come- Hillsong United)  By HIS Grace, I sang THIS on Worship Team, YEARS ago. More to the POINT, JESUS used ME to SING it. 🙂 Plus, the FIRST time, I heard it, I will NEVER forget. WE, were at a JOYCE MEYER conference. Darlene CZECH, was leading worship…and WOW did HEAVEN show UP! It was the FIRST time, I EVER got HIT that hard with HEAVEN. 🙂 BEAUTIFUL! I might add, WE were fasting, because WE was told to do that. AND, IT was in 2009, when SARah was first diagnosed, and HEALED. IT was the first TIME, JESUS used her in the HOSPITAL, to LOVE on DOCTORS, nurses, and KIDS. 🙂 THERE is JOy in THAT NOW! But, I admit, I LAY down the sorrow, I FEEL for the MANY others, enduring. YOU know, who you are, and JESUS, sees your HEART. My tears FALL, with HIS.❤️ 💔 ❤️







As I sit here TYPING… thinking about this SCENE in a movie. You MIGHT have SCENE it. It is the MOVIE, “You HAVE got MAIL.” I was just speaking about it recent. Wow, the song now… “”YOU ARE MY HIDING PLACE.”” ANYWAY, this SCENE in the FILM, she has just LOST everything. TEARS. And, as she is LETTING it Go, and even before, it becomes official, she is remembering her MOTHER. And the line is, ” MISSING my MOTHER so MUCH, I ALMOST COULD not BREATHE.” And, in so MANY ways, THAT is how I feel about my SARah’s united. It TAKES JESUS, to REMIND me. To UNBIND ME, to FREE ME. to LOVE ME. to HEAL ME. To COMFORT ME. ❤️





I am A LOT, like MEG Ryan’s Character. I TOOK the WRONG path A LOT. And YET God’s GRACE covered ME, in WAYS that, I just MARVEL at NOW. In the FILM, she makes a friend, and later that friend , is an adversary…and THROUGH forgiveness, becomes her LOVE. Ignoring, the MANY twists, and turns, in the plot, the STORY of LOVE is BEAUTIFUL. Because, THIS is HOW God’s LOVE is. We make a friend. It does NOT always FEEEL like, OUR FRIEND is FOR US. Right? And LAST…by God’s GRACE we can FALL in LOVE with JESUS. And, THERE is NOTHING like that. Because, when YOU have THAT…then YOU have a better MARRIAGE. You EVENTUALLy, will have more stable children, and HOME LIFE, and career, by God’s Grace. We can TESTIFY to THIS. ~ ❤️





But, I admit…. I OFTEN am when faced, with adversity, struggling a bit…to give GRACE to MYSELF. I know, JESUS in ME, must be honored FIRST. Yet, I battle in that place of receiving the GRACE first for ME. Becuase, I was taught it was SELFISH. Father, help me NOT believe that LIE. Help ME KNOW your TRUTH, that your LOVE, is different, and your WAYS are DIFFERENT. That BECAUSE, of your LOVE, you will REVERSE every CURSE attempt. THank you. WE LOVE YOU and PRAISE YOU!!!! In JESUS NAME ~~~~~ ❤️





MAY MORE CAPTIVES BE SET —- FREE ___ by —- YOUR ““`LOVE!!!!!! ❤️ ❤️ ❤️





THANK GOF (God our FATHER in HEAVEN) for the GRace, to sometimes GET Things WRONG. Wrong is NOT the song of Jesus. But people, WE can err. What is the phrase? To err is Human, and to Forgive is Divine. YES. SMiles. 😊 ❤️







And YET, yesterday,,, WHEN a PERPLEXITY arose, I found myself….crying OUT. “What ELSE could you TAKE?” And you SEE, THAT is NOT like ME, NOT at ALL. And YET, maybe it WAS HIDDEn AWAY, and HE wants MORE FREEDOM, to COME THIS day. FOR, I do NOt…want PRIDE, or arrogant or BOAST. I only want HIS HEART, and HIS PLAN<<<<and HIS LOVE>>>>>. HIS JOURNEY. I have ended up…ON a GURNEY b4, TRYING to do THINGS, on MY OWN. Forgive ME LORD. I did NOT get angry, in the same way, as my LOVE husband. But, it SEEMS there were some unresolved FEELINGS< mine or others, I know not. ALL i KNOW, is JESUS NEEDS a CLEAN slate. And, I repent, for eating from a table, that gives me tummy aches.





I PRAY He Bless this ground…writing and otherwise. I pray HE take every irriation, meant for demise…EVERY desire for perfection…that WE may HAVE and through HIS LOVE burn away the YUCK of this WORLD. HE LOVES His KIDS. He will fight for ME, and YOU. Yes, We fall short sometimes. BUt, HE will SEE us through. Sometimes, WE will feel frustration, or irritation 2, but by HIS GRACE, that CAN be removed. YES, it can sir and Madame. His LOVE, will kick the CAN of the BAD!!!! It just will!!! The SONG : “GIVE ME JESUS.” (Fernado Ortega)





THIS says SO MUCH. It says , it ALL….

We are visiting a place, a wonderful place of GRACE…and LAST night, there was a lesson on LOVING JESUS. Just beautiful. Heaven dripping in the place, like honey. Then, afterwards, we went to DINNER, adn, HE LOVED on us EVEN more. HIS LOVE amazes ME. I CHOOSE to check YES, for JESUS. Thank you Holy Spirit for Nurturing our hearts.  Thank you Heavenly Father, for being our FULL, authority.  WE choose HISWAYS. The ways of JESUs.  JOY, not SORROW will CONQUER. Lord, comfort those mourning, fill them with JOY. STrengthen them EACH, for the tasks at HAND. Give them ALL your RESTS. Reset, with YOUR LOVE. ONLY you CAN. YOU are SOOOO Goood. Thank you, for LOVING, and doing WHAT YOU do. Protecting, GUARDING, and connecting , fighting for us too. WE are ALL grateful. By your GRACE, WE will survive, THRIVE, hEAL, and others will SEE, TASTE, FEEL and EXPERIENCE your LOVE. THey will be CLOTHED in it JESUS, by YOUR GRACE. ~ IN JESUS NAME and BLOOD. ~ Give us REPENTANT HEARTS. quick to FORGIVE, ourselves, and Anyone Else, Even you Lord. Oh, that can BE so Hard. It is what ONLY You can do. In Jesus NAME, Have your way. Fulfill EVERY single NEED. ~ SO be it ~ It is Finished, by your Grace, LOVE, Mercy and HOPE. Amen ~ ❤️





I just want to say, THANK YOU to JESUS for ALL who, have GRACED our LIVES. Those who have meant to HARM, those who have SINCERELY LOVED. Each ONE, a PART of THIS JOURNEY, MATTERS to US, and MATTERS to GOD MOST. We are determinded to LOVE. By HIS GRACE, WE choose to BLESS and NOT CURSE. In JESUS name. We LOVE you ALL with LOVE that is tough, to put to WORDS. Yet, HE LOVES you MOST of ALL!!!!!





CLosing SONG ~~~~

“I WILL RISE”  ~~~ I listend to MY LOVE David sing this~~~ Just the other day 🙂 MUSIC to my EARS (Chris Tomlin wrote the LYRICS)     “I WILL RISE WHEN HE CALLS MY NAME. NO MORE SORROW.NO MORE PAIN.”




10 Sep 2018

A Freight-train of FAITH ~ 🏆❤️ 🎯🏅🏁

551976_356879881087543_1016047998_n19693_491506860886978_1220456359_n11702785_10200801803564457_8496415044547532650_n10409591_555950121178295_2491996567656324842_nthankyouDivine-Intervention-Wordle1459750_1000080833353916_2915999975910128314_n10551057_10153035975977785_1329849181222001721_n08154f27097b4bd8e2015d15d9717ea210392289_10202777217343969_1020048498025419797_nshutterstock_93326353When I WOKE UP today, I FELT like saying, “GOOD MORNING…VIETNAM!” I Hope that Made YOU Laugh. 🙂 love❤️ I say This, Partialially because, it is um 4 something in the morning. PART, TRIBUTE, to the AMAZING actor, Robin Williams. And, also, Because, When I SIT with JESus, WELL , I AM just IN ANOTHER COUNTRY. Yet, STILL in THIS ONE too. 🙂 THE AWESOME WONDER, of GOD and HIS ❤️  LOVE. Tears. Beauty. Surrender,  of ALL FEARS. Human FRAILTIES.




THE SONG… ” YOU SAY” ( Lauren DAIGLE) “YOU SAY,  I AM LOVED, WHEN I CAN”T FEEL A THING…You say I am Strong, When I think I am WEAK. ” Yes Oh, HOW… THese… words register, with ME right now… because CERTain FEARS, have been, TRYINg so HARD, to GET the BEST of ME. And there,  is a SItuation/Circumstance,  THAT at face VALUE…  looks just AWFUL. To be honest, a FEW. It TAKES complete FAITH, in JESUS alone. And, in that, WE often, FEEL, ALONE. ~~~ 💔 😭




In the MIDST of these TIMES and SPACES, there is BEAUTIFUL, intimacy with the LORD. ❤️  THAT is simply PRECIOUS. Yet, WE long, to SHARE this, with OTHERS too. And, PRAY that ONE day, that CAN BE. HE knows, what the DESIRES, of our HEARTS are. And WE TRUST HIM, to KEEP the HOME FIRES, BURNING. Oh, BY HIS GRace, Are WE LEARNING.




There are these VERY simple PRINCIPLES…WE have been GIVEN… on the FREIGHT TRAIn of FAITH 🙂



  2. Surrender Everything to Him – This is Not an easy Process. Begin by asking HIM everything  that has been a problem, or seeming to hinder you, from moving forward. Ultimately, what is sticking around, that should not be- to simplify it. ( Keep it Simple sweetheart — Leave it with a KISS 🙂 )

3.   Repentance is KEY to being able to FORGIVE. They go hand in hand. I used to think REPENTANCE was a religious word. But, it really is NOT. It is a HEART word. He wants a PURE heart. And, FRUIT, speaks FOR itself…. So, not matter how much people who, are involved with BAD stuff try and LIE. JESUS will REVEAL, the TRUTH. of THAT you can be CERTAIN. Just YESTERDAY, IT was brought to memory, Ananais and Saphaira. They tried to LIE to GOd. It did NOT go well. So. we have to stay REPENTANT, before our KING…because HE wants us to be able to continue to FLY FREE. And, FORGIVENESS, is NOT a ONE time, THING. He says, 70 x 7.

4. Life is So…. NOT PERFECT.   BUT… JESUS… IS ❤️ 😉 ❤️ And, His LOVE ❤️ is PERFECT.  ThE LOVE of GOD as A WHOLE is PERFECT.  IT is JUST not, ALWAYS, EASY TO, RECIEVE. ❤️


And….JUST a REMINDER ~~~~~ THOSE involved with the YUCK ~~~ are NOT coming against YOU~~~ they are COMING against JESUS in YOU ~~~

JUST the other DAY, I said to Someone… I used to be ABLE to forgive…LIKE Breathing…..It USED to BE so EASY ~~~~ WHY IS it SUDDENLY SO HARD….. And I HAD ANOTHEr SWEEt SIS AGREE 2…. We sat wondering…asking GOD… Why…is This…so Tough Now… It Did not used to be…~~~~~

We asked. ” Is it, because THIS GARBAGE JUST GETS OLD?” or ” ARE WE MAKING THIS ABOUT US”  “ARE WE DOING SOMETHING WRONG?” You know HE hears, this Question a lot. wink. And YET it FELT like THere were FEW answers, to the questions. AND THAT made it tougher. Because the teacher, is often quiet, during the TESTING. Right!  Thank GOD, for the GRACe to talk to HIM, and not to question, because we doubt, but, because we WONDER. Because, we DESIRE to know what is NEXT, in HIS plan. And not, from FEAR. But, because, as HIS children, We LIKE to prepare.~~~ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️



I remember, as a child/KID I was in choir. I SANG, BEFORE I could SPEAK truly. And, one of my favorite songs, was the song, “Prepare the WAY of the LORD. WE had the sweetest directors. It was a couple. They worked so dilligently. Right now, The Song on, “Oh My Soul” (Casting Crowns) Tears I love JESUS so much. He knows, how my heart, is healing. How much, I am missing. The lyric, just said. “There’s a place…Where FEAR has to FACE the GOD you KNOW” ~ ❤️




My FRIENDS ~  I LIVE in that PLACE . TEARS. It is called HEAVEn on EARTH. The next LYRIC. “ONE MORE DAY, HE will MAKE A WAY. LET HIM SHOW YOU HOW. YOU CAN LAY it DOWN. CAUSE YOU”RE NOT ALONE.” (Casting CRowns)  We met them in person, not long after our Butterfly’s final flight. I remember, that the drummer has a son. Sarah prayed for his heart. Shortly, before she went HOME…she came in, to our bedroom then. Had such JOY, on her FACE. Said, momma, baby Silas is gonna be just FINE! I said, Who? And then, she preceeded to tell me, ALL about him. And, after, her FINAL flight, WE got to tell Silas’s daddy. 🙂 BY, God’s GRACE, did THAT happen. ~ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️




The next song…. “In the EYE of the STORM” (Ryan Stevenson) 5:28 Grace-Eternal Life  hmmm ~~~ Appropriate. A Grace Baby. And She was in the Hospital 28 days….The Last Times. And, oh my…does it take GRACE to write…. YES…. ❤️



I have to TRUST GOD that….EVERYTHING is HIS. Every CHILD He has EVER given US to LOVE. Every Memory, Every Friend, Every thought, Every home, Every item, every detail, Every business. We have ALWAYS said…. HE owns the CATTLE on A THOUSAND HILLS…AND HE OWNS the HILLS as WELL!!!! So, HE CAN’t BE SOVEREIGN and NOT BE…. ❤️



Someone, i LOVE deeply, a precious FAMILY member said, “Your faith is so strong.” But, I pray that others SEE….My FAITH belongs NOT to ME. THERE are SO MANY times I struggle TOO. Just yesterday, I confess, I went to MY Jesus, with a MESS. I said, I need these THINGS, to FALL down. I know you say it is DONE. Make this END please. And, I felt HIM say, HOLD on sweet girl. I sat…on my KNEES. YES LORD. Though you SLay Me, I will TRUST YOU. ALWAYS. ALWAYS ALWAYS. ❤️ 💔 ❤️













My Husband, was speaking to me, about a movie, Jesus had me reference recently in a video. And it was interesting, because he mentioned the timeline, in His life. And, I just kept thinking, about how God does things. I could not help but smile. 🙂  He even said, “We should watch it together soon, I want to show you something.”  Now, THAT is big for my husband. 🙂 My JESUS is a healer! ❤️



In the LIFE book…the BIBLE… it speaks of a 3 chord strand. It says that one is not EASILY broken. My most FAVORIte is FAITH, HOPE and LOVE. But, another one is Grace WISDOM and STRENGTH and that one is the one that I FEEL we have been holding onto lately. BECAUSE that 3 chord STRAND is anchored in the PERFECT LOVE of JESUS. And, no matter the WAVES it sometimes, gets tossed into. IT always comes out, more BEAUTIFUL. And, THAT JUST TRULY AMAZES ME. ~ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️




I will CLOSE with THIS… When my HUsband and I got together… WE were connected with, these beautiful 😇 Angel in Disguise… Her name…. Henrietta. I adored her. She is now with Jesus. I don’t usually cry about that. BUt, today…TEARS seem to be falling. I am so grateful. Jesus used her, to TEACH me, and LOVE on ME. Without HER taking the TIME, to LOVE on ME… I would NOT know JESUS the way I do. And I remember, she made this promise to me. She said, one day I would have an amazing marriage. And now, by HIS Grace, I do. It takes JESUS. That is the TRUTH. But, by HIS GRACE. It is made BEAUTIFUL. ~~~~ And the GIFT  gift🎁 goes ON. ~~~




I just want to pray for the marriages —– Father GOD ~~~ I ask for Restoration of Broken marriages. Heal hearts. Heal minds. Heal bodies. Help US, BE MARRIED 2 You FIRST JESUS!!!! YOU DESERVE our WHOLE HEART….. What you have put together, let no man tear assunder. Grace Grace. There has been such pain, in the world Lord. Help your children, release the pain to you. Help it not stick like glue, but be like baloons, going up into the sky. May those baloons, come and give you hugs, and kisses Jesus. Holy Spirit Nurture us, Like a Mother does a Child. Strengthen us too. Because, many of us. are really strugling with feeling weary from battling. Not that we are trying, to handle things alone. WE come, with repentant hearts, asking forgiveness for any areas known or unknown, where we may be faltering. LORD, have your will and way in our lives. Bring HEAVEn to EARTh, as ONLY you CAN. THANK you in ADVANCE. WE LOVE you. Covered in the BLOOD over JESUS, AMEN. ~ ❤️







07 Sep 2018

Beauty 4 ASHEAS ~ ❤️ 💐🌸🌺🌻

20131223_013742 (2)10307200_10152921095957785_5214134257696538820_nlarge778863_10151673469177785_890606283_o10502079_720790414681909_4910546880540562579_n816e6e642d8b65a15137333cbf5ed23010584071_10153041342612785_1766653364807497367_n10274071_10154554801292785_1555357345691557540_n-jpg1I went to Sleep thinking it was for, a FULL night’s sleep. However, God had different plan’s in mind, and THIS is NOT uncommon in MY LIFe. Though, TONIGHT, I did NOT get a HUGE heads UP. I woke, seeing, The song, “In Better Hands,” by the Artist Natalie Grant on Pandora . It was on the screen. I smiled, and yet, my heart kind of ached, a bit. Because my heart well, it Longs to BE fully HOME.~~~



The song currently ON… YES. Um. It is Francesca Batastelli. ” Born in ME. ” For Those of you, who have read, more than ONE entry, YOU know, that SONG is a VERY HARD ONE, and YET a VERY SPECIAL ONE. TEARS. OH, how I LOVE it. BUT, HOW IT HURTS. WE sang IT EVERY single DAY , FOR a YEAR, with OUR SARAH angel butterfly. ~~~ THEN, RIGHT before MY birthday, WE recorded IT. ~ THE LAST SONG. ~  Such a GIFT. ~ ❤️ 💞  💔



This YEAR, coming UP, is YEAR #5….. SINCE our BEAUTIFUL baby👼 GIRL’s FINAL FLIGHT HOME ~  And, WE are going 2 open UP, HER Ashes. A dear friend, and BROTher, GAVE us, this beautiful golden container, to house them in. And we have kept them there. But, IT is coming time, that those ashes start,  to be spread soon. Because, ASHES are not about death. He has shown US, She is about LIFE… And her LIFE should be Celebrated. So we ARe GOING to do JUST THAT. He has a BEAUTIFUL plan. But, that does NOT mean, it is ALWAYS an EASY plan. WE are children of the KING!!!! He has OVERCOME the GRAVE! He DIED for US 🙂 He CONQUERED EVERYTHING BY HIS ❤️  LOVE! NOTHING COULD STOP HIM… NOT RELIGION. NO ENEMY…NOTHING!




The song right NOW 🙂 ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

LYRIC… ” WHOM THE SON SETS FREE IS FREE INDEED , I’M A CHILD OF GOD, YES I AM!” (Who You Say I AM – Hillsong worship- It goes on to say… “I am CHOSEn not FORSAKEn I am WHO YOU SAY I AM. You are 4 ME not AGAINST ME, I am WHO you SAY I AM” THESe are VERY important WORDS are TRUTHS!!!! It also says “In my FATHER’s HOUSE THERE is A PLACE 4 ME” 🙂 SUCH LOVE and SUCH TRUTH of HEAVEN 🙂 THANK YOU JESUS 🙂 ❤️




I remmeber, another song, I think also similar that was played at the CELEbration of LIFE in FLorida ~ it was HOSANNa . Every single TIME, I hear it, to THIS day, I remember THAt day. By God’s Grace, I remember to BREATHe. …  Life HERE will FEEL cold. Sometimes, it may be warm, by HIS Grace. There will be TIMES, of response from young, and others from old. So many say to me….you are wise. But, sometimes, I just want to crawl, under the covers, and just be a KID. And, it seems like, those days, don’t exist. But, yet they do still…..~~~~~ ❤️




As, the song on now… “What Do I Know Of Holy” ……. Such a GREAT question…. LOVE the LYRICS to this SONG… in one of my other BLOGS… NO clue what ONE… IT is quoted some where. LOVE…..❤️

Listening… JESUS…. Love❤️



YOU know ME…. YOU know MY inner THOughts… MY Heart… YOu knew ME from MY womb… The depth of MY workings…. Thank YOU that YOU know EVERY DETAIL…. TEACH ME…..   ~~~~~~~~~ ❤️

Yesterday….My beautiful SIs…. spoke about  love❤️


LOVE….and how She desired to know… MORE about LOVE… and I just adore HER heart. And she is SO ACCURATE. There is so MUCH MORE to LEARn. Because, WE have to LOVE ONE another, and it HAS to be FULLY through HIS LOVE. So, FATHER GOD , LOVE through US. for LOVE comes, THROUGH YOU. WE bring the ASHES of the PAIn today to YOU. FORGIVE us oh GOD. Oh, WE REpent before YOU, and ASk, that YOU Create in US a clean 💞  HEARt. Renew a right spirit within us. Thank you Jesus. Thank you for NEVER failing. For stripping away, EVERY ounce of pride in our LIFE. Thank you for healing every every of strife. You are so beautiful. We are so grateful. ❤️




Help us, to put you FIRSt, above ALL…. because YOU deserve that position and HONOR. We trust you LOrd. You are the ROCk and salvation. Without YOU, nothing can STAND. Let Wisdom, build the house in the foundation of LOVE. Thank you JESUS, for LOVINg us so VERY deeply. Thank you HOLY spirit, for NURTURING us, and Father GOD, for standing IN AUThority OVER us. Mighty FAMILY of GOd, HOW YOU FIGHT for US. THERE is NO FAMILY BETTER. SO Grateful. So FAITHFUL. So FAITHFUL. ALL OF HEAVEN is FOR US. Thank YOU JESUS. by the BLOOD of JESUS , WE ARE COVERED. on THIS day of GRACE, thank you LORD. ~ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️







It is so interesting to ME….that something that COULD



be…so DEVASTATing… JESUS turns into…JOYFUL. THAT is JUST LIKE HIM… SMILES ~ I am not saying it is EASY… FAR from IT. Because, it sure is NOt. But, I am in AWE of the JOY, and MIRACLES happening in the HEALING. When He says, what was MEANT 2 HARm YOU, I will USE for YOUR GOOD, He MEANS THAT. I have So LIVED that OUT. I still DO! ❤️




It is just so CRAZY beautiful…Sometimes kinda AWFUL too…but mostly just KINDA Awesome….BY HIS Grace….Because, He is MAKING Everything NEW…and I DO mean EVERYTHING…. AND it is OVERWHELMING…and Beautiful, and it takes a MOMENT to stop and regroup, and step BACK and just go… WOW…. A LOT…. because there are MANY…. of what I call…. ” CLOUDY with a CHANCE of MEATBALL JOY MOMENTS”  ~~~~ ❤️


I am gonna EXPLAIN that NOw —– In that FILM they MAKE Food with a WEATHER Machine. And it REMINDS Me of the Promised LAND. Because in the Promised LAnd there is this AMAZING FOOD! SO, The people SEE this FOOD and the LOOK on their faces is just AWE struck. It is like PURE LIKE WOW. And to Me, IT is AMAZEMENT, SHOCK and AWE, and JOY… YES, I have MANY, MOMENTS, LIKE THAT with JESUS! ESPECIALLY LATELY !!!! LOVE 🙂  THAT lovie, in FACt both of those movies, are special, because we saw them, with Sarah. The second, one, the LAST movie, we officialy saw, as a family. ~ ❤️




NOt EASY things to speak ON, but THEY have to be SPOken ON, because THEY ARE, part of the BEAUTY 4 ASHES. LOVE ~~~ And HE deserves to have that 🙂 He reminds me, that because I honor Him, I honor her too. LOve. 🙂 ❤️



The Song that was just on…. ” Joyfully” (Kari Jobe) Yes , That Describes my Heart  for the most part. with this one , lightning bolt. And that gets ignited, ONLY at Jesus’s choosing. I am so VERy grateful, FOR the MERCY of GOD. YES, the LOVE of GOD. What would WE DO without it? We truly could not exist, without it…. That is TRUE. Yet, WE still have ONLY GLIMPSED the depth of the LOVE. Because, we NEED even MORE, of IT. But, it TAKES so MUCH to RECEIVE it, and TO GIVE it. ❤️



There is a HYmnn… that keeps coming to me… and it says… “OH for GRACe 2 LOVE YOU MORE”. ❤️

I remember Singing THIS as a CHILD…but NOT knowing WHAT this MEANT then….

as… I hear the words on the RADio ” CHRIST ALONE CORNERSTONE ” (hillsong)



As a Child, I sat in the church Pew….and my Biological Father constantly said, “be still” every Sunday to me. I always thought it meant be quiet. And in some ways it did. But, it meant So much more than that. It would be years, till I learned what THAT REALLy meant. To DATE, that is NOW, one of MY favorite, PLACES in the LIFE BOOK. “BE STILL and KNOW.” (Psalm 46:10)  I used to write , on the bulletin with my mom, and draw, and color. Jesus is reminding me of the good. The kindness. The LOVE.



I am so GRATEFUL for the LOVE!!!!! ❤️

And I pray for Everyone who did , NOT get it, that they CAN…have OPPOrtunities to RECieve it, by HIS Grace. Because, it is NOT too LATE. He has a PLAN. And I know, His plans are GOOD. He has PLANs to prosper US not to HARm US, PLans for hope and a FUTure, and a beautiful FUTURE. (Jeremiah 29:11) May everyone have the Destiny, that Heaven has designed. In Jesus Name. 🙂

Love You ALL ~~~~ ❤️


In His Grace, Mercy, and Peace,


05 Sep 2018

❤️ His Marvelous Love ❤️

10356327_797736560298840_800842292463146719_nhomelovedo-you-love-me_personalityhackerarticle-0-18F3722200000578-71_634x36012032158_498765573623763_2208643902534080114_ndeparture-of-the-winged-shipThe-Glory-of-God1-1024x768Really had NO intention, of writing today. Just yesterday, someone asked me, what I do. Well, technical, they asked me and my ❤️ LOVE , our profession. And, I said, “I guess, I am a writer.” I did not say it with confidence, and not exactly with JOY. And, for that I repent before, Heaven today. Because, He has gifted ME, with the use of HIS words, and I am honored, truly. Yet, THIS responsibility, is NOT small. I mean, NOT at ALL. And, when He says, JUMP to it, no matter the hour, I have to do it. And, I can’t complain, in the way that some can. And, that is okay. Because, there was a time, I had Grace, to do that. And, I am so grateful, that I could. It is how I was able to learn, and GROW. and, oh MY the growing pains, that came, and went. ~





But, HIS MARVELOUS ❤️  Love,,, THAT was FOUND…and NEVER LOST. Eventhough, I often felt, LOST myself. Truth, BE told, sometimes, I still do. There is a place, in HER story/ OURS where she was 6.5 years…. So much of Heaven, already present.  TEARS falling HERE….The song says, “DRINK UP TONIGHT.” But, it is often hard to drink of Heaven. Thank you to George Straight, and Jesus for using HIM, to reminding ME ~ HE makes ALL paths STRAIGHT. The next SONG – “THAT RED dirt ROAD ” A song FROM my childhood – Lyric ” I learned the path to HEAVEn, is full of sinners and BELIEVERS.” Yes. (Brook and Dunn) ❤️





———Back to the STORY of our 👐  BUTTERFLY ~~~ She came up to ME and tugged on my shirt, and said to ME, and the woman, I was speaking 2… “MOMMY, DON’T FORGET to TELL THEM… THE 1st TIME, YOU ASKED ME, IF I wanted TO BE WELL, you ASKED in FEAR… AND I COULD NOT HONOR THAT. BECAUSE GOD, DOES NOt HONOR THAT. But, the 2nd TIME, YOU asked IN FAITh, AND I COULD HONOR thAT , BECAUSE GOD, HONORS THAT!!! ~~~~ AND, MY JAW DROPPED ~~~ ❤️









Side Note : (The caps are for Ephasis, not like yelling 🙂 )

I remember, LOOKING for LOVE in ALL the WRONG places. They looked right, in so many ways, to ME. But, oh MY…looking back, there was so much GRACE present. I had NO idea, just how much. I will NEVER forget, the day, of December 27, 2005. It was 6:30 am. All the doctors, has predicted, one week later, that our baby girl, would arrive. But, Heaven, had other plans. Everything about it, seemed so backwards. But, GOD. We went to the hospital 5 times. Yes 5. 🙂 Grace 🙂 I rememeber, she looked at ME, and I saw JESUS eyes. ~~~ ❤️




I had LOOKED and SEARCHED for JESUS eyes, for so LONG. I thought, I would NEVER see them. But, then, she was placed in my lap. And, I was so taken back. I was just mesmerized by the ❤️ LOVE  of GOD. I did not THEn, HAVE the SAME relationship, that I do NOW. I was so broken. I am STILL broken. But, then, I was immature, and uninformed. I had not been introduced, to the REAL ❤️ LOVE . And THIS was my official  introduction.


Yes, I had people in my life, TELL me JESUS loved me. I am so grateful for those people too. They had planted seeds, of ❤️ LOVE , to get me that far. And, the FAMILY of GOD was used, and many of their prayers, to help me, along the way. Cannot say enough, how thankful, I am. And, how,  much I bless each and everyone of those people… Even those, who may have meant to harm me, oh I bless them too. ~ Because that day, a MIRACLE came into my LIFE. ~ My baby 👼 girl!




But, mark my words, it was also a HUGE responsibility too. I treasured EVERY moment, with my sweet Sarah. We ALL did. Though, something inside, always knew, SHE did NOT belong to just ME. And, that it was crucial, that I remember that. Because, if I did NOT, it would be beyond, destructive, and MOST of ALL dishonoring, to my KING. What is the greatest gift, that we can give to, the ONE who LOVES us, MOST? SURRENDER. ~ ❤️




There will be SOME who just ADORE Jesus in US. Others who do NOt. Some who pretend to. Some who are sincere. At this point, it is exhausting, trying to figure out, who is for or against. It is not our job to do so. Our JOB is to LOVE. We do so FROM Heaven above. HE DOES it, through US. Our JOB is to LET HIM. ~ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️




It is NOT always EASY to receive HIS LOVe, because it requires GIVING up, YOUR plan. BUt, when YOU do… I promise YOU, that HIS plans, ARE SO MUCH better. AND He has a WAY of GIVINg you EVERYTHING, THAT you NEED. Not Always, what you WANT. But, what YOU NEED. ~ He WILL NOT FAIL. ❤️




I am so grateful for HIS LOVE. IT is the MOST tangible, REAL. VALUABLE . SINCERE. TRUTH. in MY LIFE. ~ ❤️

FAITh HOPE and LOVE ~ these 3 remain ~~~~ but the


GREATEST of THESE is HIS LOVE!!!! HIS ABSOLUTELY UNBOUNDING and UNENDING and UNCOMDITIONAL, with the condition of US saying YES !  LOVE 🙂 ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

Thank you 🙂 To JESUS and our HEAVENLY Father and HOLY Spirit, whom I see like a Nurturing Mother, because I let my




own biological mom go, at such a young age….❤️

Thank you for the FREEDOM to receive the LOVE ~~~~ We praise you !!!! ❤️

IN your GRACE , MERCY, and HOPE,  ❤️





03 Sep 2018

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