Monthly Archives: February 2014


Before getting into the post today, I feel led to mention that Sarah Elizabeth’s testimony is on the page under God’s Grace faces Us. It was put in the comment section, mainly because my husband is the tech person, and it was the only way I could post it without his assistance. ūüėČ Love to ALL of YOU. May this be a Blessing unto GOD for you. ~

FORGIVE….not because anyone deserves it but simply because GOD needs us to, over and over as many times as it takes. KEEP on FORGIVING. It is a part of this process. IT damages and destroys enemy plans. Keep on forgiving, it is simply part of LIVING in GOD’s LOVE. ~ GOD alone is worth it.



On around four hours of sleep, roughly I was awoken today. But, the point is GOD who created me, awoke me. I will not try and stifle the challenges in what my husband and I are enduring. I won’t try and compare or contrast it with anything either. But, what I will say is it is something that in order to survive, you MUST have GOD inside. There are many people who walk down this path. In fact, last night at a Steven Curtis Chapman concert, we heard about and could relate to, the pain, the dark places that hunt you when you are simply just trying to crawl, let alone walk THIS out with GOD.

A few days ago, early in the morning when my husband and I were chatting, GOD was very present and speaking. He showed us a compass as a reminder that HE is our direction. He showed us a gold course and reminded us lovingly that with HIM, we always get a hole in ONE. the ONE who created us and LOVE us, regardless of the ODDS of the world, will prevail every single time. No matter how it seems, HE and HIS LOVE NEVER ever Fail.

God revealed that part of this, is the process of becoming bulletproof in GOD. He didn’t take Sarah Beth away. She chose to go. I mean, who could blame her? I have many times kicked myself for not going with her. But, if I had, it would have been defying GOD. We need to really SEE the hurting. Those who are carrying heavy burdens and pain. In fact, GOD says, “who will bind up the wounded?” Someone mentioned to me that this year is ALL about SOULS. I don’t dispute that. But, would add this year is ALL about healing and FREEDOM as we WALK in deliverance through HIS LOVE.

Part of the process of GOD saving a soul is compassion. Without that, people whom GOD loves and created do NOT receive the truth. They choose to worship their wounds, because no one has told them not to. It does not matter how HIGH up God puts us, we must always stay humbled before HIM. Being bulletproof is something that happens when constant and consistent surrender continues to be put in practice, unto our awesome GOD.

Many people are scared of bullets, of canons, of bombs, earthquakes, disasters that are natural according to the world yet supernatural to GOD. Yet, we should not be. We are both DEAD and ALIVE. The enemy cannot kill us of we are in Christ, harbored in HIM not as a fugitive but as a captive who has been set FREE. We should come to a place where our faith in HIS abilities far exceeds any amount of FEAR that WE can FEEL or that can be put on us.

Yet, here is the question. What will it take to get us there? Long ago, He showed us that it takes, what it takes. He reminded me recently after coming of out of the darkness, that He apologized to me in 2011. God, my father, brother and Heavenly everything said sorry to me. He said,” if there was any other way, around the pain, suffering and agony we would have taken it together. ” These words ring out to me. They are a CALL out of the darkness. When the enemy points his guns at us, or provokes us to spiritually throw stones at each other, we must seek God’s FACE. Every single time, when we DO, the LORD Roars on our behalf, and the enemies plans come crashing down in defeat. For GOD alone gets the VICTORY and GLORY.

Does this mean we will never fall for an enemy plot? NO! What it means is simply this. God’s GRACE is sufficient. In that place where it feels like we have fallen farther than we could ever go, GOD is there. He even makes HIS bed in Sheol. We have only glimpsed the HEART of GOD. It is not religion that will be the entry path to salvation. It is simply HIS LOVE, HIS TRUTH, and HIS purposes and plans. It is relationship with GOD alone that brings release from the HEAVENS.

While GOD was using us to share butterfly’s story yesterday, we truly were enveloped by the presence of GOD. There were people who were sent to that concert last night to cause trouble, but they did not succeed. The enemy sends people to create problems. But, GOD sends HIS GLORY to cause those plans to be burnt up by the HOLINESS and presence of GOD. You see part of GOD making us BULLETPROOF is about Crucifixion. Our physical and mental process that GOD gifts unto us so that we can be more in tune with HIS process. This beautiful yet at times horrendous blessing in disguise that is a catalyst for many others to follow, can only be given by GOD.

images hobbit1


GOD is our holy SOAP. His blood was shed so that we could REST in HIS fighting through in and around us. HE is the Greatest WARRIOR. He makes us Heroes in HIM. ~


I will never ever forget the time on the 25th of November Just 1 day before the day we took Sarah Beth to the hospital, when GOD spoke BLESSING. My heart dropped to the pit of my very SOUL hearing it. I cried out and said, “Father, there are times that at first I don’t like or even enjoy your blessing. But, I will receive it because I do know that your purpose is much greater and that you waste not an ounce of any pain or suffering. ” He told me, ” You are about to get blessed.” Both is preparation, and on some level in warning. GOD knows what will come. The good, bad and UGLY He knows.

But, make no mistake that HIS blessings far out way the challenges of the world in which we reside. HIS ways are so much better than ours. He is unlimited and in HIS ways and timing HE will do exactly what HE has promised as long as YOU are willing, ready and able to receive the BLESSING of GOD. So, will you count the cost and realize that HE has need of you? Will you endure being used, in some cases abused, cast aside, mocked, and persecuted to the nth degree? Or would you rather miss the GLORY of GOD? Sit idly by and not be part of it, or surrender completely even your children, which to some are prize possessions. To GOD they are HIS treasures, WE are HIS COGS. But, in order for HIM to make us Children of GOD Supers, we must give HIM ALL.

We must take a stand against darkness. Ask GOD to strip it from you. Truly, look around the home you have been given and seek HIS LIGHT to permeate anything NOT pleasing to HIM. There are many times I do not please people, but as long as I and you stay surrendered with a repentant heart and MOST of ALL open for correction we will ALWAYS be pleasing to GOD. Not from a place of striving, simply from a place of being HIS child. RESTING in the peace that NO weapon formed will prosper. The LION of JUDAH will ROAR and quite simply the enemies will scatter. Glory be to our mighty GOD. We praise not because of the circumstances, but simply because we know that we know that we know that our GOD is far above them, and so must be be. Hidden under HIS wings fragile as a newborn baby, resurrected each day and healing with every breath. LORD, make us bulletproof whatever and however it must be. We LOVE you.

Revelation-5-5 lion-of-judah-detail

In Your Grace and GLORY Heavenly Father, Brother Jesus and beautiful Holy Spirit we thank you. You are faithful. Nonetheless you are FAITHFUL. In Jesus holy name, AMEN

Romans 5:3-5 ESV

More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

James 1:2-4 ESV

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

1 Peter 5:10 ESV

And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.

Romans 8:18 ESV

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.

1 Peter 4:12-19 ESV

Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed. If you are insulted for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you. But let none of you suffer as a murderer or a thief or an evildoer or as a meddler. Yet if anyone suffers as a Christian, let him not be ashamed, but let him glorify God in that name.

Revelation 21:4 ESV

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.‚ÄĚ

John 16:33 ESV

I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.‚ÄĚ

2 Corinthians 4:8-10 ESV

We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies.

Isaiah 43:2 ESV

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.

Luke 14:27 ESV

Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple.

2 Timothy 3:12 ESV

Indeed, all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted


Honored and Privileged to be loved by GOD. Walking, running, crawling, and even swimming in the ocean of emotions we face. Yes, we have an enemy. yes, HE is defeated. God will teach us about the spirits, but we must NOT ignore the wounded any longer. We cannot assume that emotion is a spirit. We must ask GOD to minister through us, so that HIS ways are completed and WE are not made into idols. Who will bind up the wounded? Who will tend to those in captivity? Who will allow GOD to take first place in their lives? Is it YOU? He is standing there waiting and many windows are closing quickly. Don’t miss this incredible MOVE of GOD. Choose to let HIM make you bulletproof, no matter what.

In His Grace and GLORY,

E and FAM


27 Feb 2014

When Darkness Calls

For days, in fact since the third of this month, I have been unable to speak much. When I woke, and it was put in my spirit, and on my heart to write today, I wasn’t exactly jumping up and out bed. I thought, look at what is going on in the world. How is what I and we are enduring even important?


John 1:5 ESV

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

1 John 1:5-7 ESV

This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.

John 11:10 ESV

But if anyone walks in the night, he stumbles, because the light is not in him.‚ÄĚ

Luke 1:79 ESV

To give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the way of peace.‚ÄĚ

Acts 26:18 ESV

To open their eyes, so that they may turn from darkness to light and from the power of Satan to God, that they may receive forgiveness of sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith in me.’

John 3:19-21 ESV

And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil. For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed. But whoever does what is true comes to the light, so that it may be clearly seen that his works have been carried out in God.‚ÄĚ

1 Thessalonians 5:5 ESV

For you are all children of light, children of the day. We are not of the night or of the darkness.

Psalm 139:12 ESV

Even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you.

Colossians 1:13 ESV

He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son,

2 Corinthians 6:14 ESV

Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?

John 8:12 ESV

Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, ‚ÄúI am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.‚ÄĚ

1 John 2:8-11 ESV

At the same time, it is a new commandment that I am writing to you, which is true in him and in you, because the darkness is passing away and the true light is already shining. Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness. Whoever loves his brother abides in the light, and in him there is no cause for stumbling. But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks in the darkness, and does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes.

Revelation 9:2 ESV

He opened the shaft of the bottomless pit, and from the shaft rose smoke like the smoke of a great furnace, and the sun and the air were darkened with the smoke from the shaft.

Hebrews 12:18 ESV

For you have not come to what may be touched, a blazing fire and darkness and gloom and a tempest

Matthew 8:12 ESV

While the sons of the kingdom will be thrown into the outer darkness. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.‚ÄĚ

Ephesians 5:8 ESV

For at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light

Ephesians 6:12 ESV

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.

Isaiah 50:10 ESV

Who among you fears the Lord and obeys the voice of his servant? Let him who walks in darkness and has no light trust in the name of theLord and rely on his God.

Romans 1:21 ESV

For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened.

1 Peter 2:9 ESV

But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.

Ephesians 5:11 ESV

Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them.

Genesis 1:2 ESV

The earth was without form and void, and darkness was over the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters.

Matthew 25:30 ESV

And cast the worthless servant into the outer darkness. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’

Isaiah 9:2 ESV

The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; those who dwelt in a land of deep darkness, on them has light shined.

1 John 1:6 ESV

If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth.

2 Peter 2:4 ESV

For if God did not spare angels when they sinned, but cast them into hell and committed them to chains of gloomy darkness to be kept until the judgment;


Romans 13:12 ESV

The night is far gone; the day is at hand. So then let us cast off the works of darkness and put on the armor of light.


Yet, it is to GOD. Our very breath is important to Him. He doesn’t focus on the wrong, but rejoices in the right. In my life, I have truly never been so weary. For weeks I have cried out to GOD from my soul. It isn’t just because of the death of our only child. It is so much more than that.


Darkness has been calling. In fact, everywhere I have looked, there has been darkness. Or, so I thought. It came through friends who were hurt, lashing out and assuming. It arrived through memories. For all intensive purposes that darkness was death.





But yesterday something happened. God used someone who didn’t know me, to reach out into the darkness and sincerely offer HIS LOVE. Yes, many have been praying. But, so few have reached out. I know it’s scary to watch someone suffer. when we are so wounded ourselves, we often want to or choose to run away. I hold no ill will towards anyone, or harbor any unforgiveness. I simply thank GOD that He used someone.



THIS is where HIS Glory is birthed. It comes into the darkness. It comes slowly and gently and at times painfully, it is formed here. Without really knowing it, I have been seeking God for answers. I have been sitting with HIM for weeks, just allowing GOD alone to stroke my shower and bathe me in LOVE.



I have been screaming on the inside. My body started just a few days ago to tremble. I thought, it’s just the grief. But, it wasn’t it was and IS the presence of GOD. I feared He was gone, had left me. Yet, all along, He was with me.



This is a very personal entry. It is very self reflective, from HIS perspective. Because this morning, I saw GOD crying. I am not saying I have seen GOD per se. But, I have seen what we know as GOD. I saw images of HIS children suffering.



Yesterday, I watched something. You see, I know the WORD of GOD. I know it deep within. But, having said that, what I didn’t know is GOD in us is HIS word. He wants to LOVE us with it. He desires to HEAL us with it. There is a balm is Gilead. There is healing in HIS hands.



The things in this world will look really bad. Darkness will call, and sometimes we will answer. But, I am very thankful to GOD alone that, even when we do, HIS LOVE will not end. Yes, we may not feel it the same way, until we come to HIM in TRUTH and realness seeking HIS FORGIVENESS.



I used to speak of GOD resurrecting me. In fact, I would say daily that He does this. But somehow over the last few months, I had forgotten that He does this in sorrow too.  I am beyond words grateful for the brothers and sisters who reach out even when the darkness is thick. Those who take time to cut through all the rigamortis.



God is using many people. He is, in this season. He is even using people trapped and confined in darkness. For a few days, I didn’t post anything. Because, I didn’t have anything nice to say. I simply prayed silently. Most often not even knowing. I was reminded that sometimes the most effective prayers come in the form of tears.





Years ago when mom passed into God’s arms, I wrote a power. It was called “the Rainbows”

I don’t remember much about it, except this. It was written after seeing my first double rainbow. I remember looking at it and recognizing the reflection. It is an illusion, that comes from fragments of light. Yet, it is beautiful. It captures just how we look in reflection to GOD. Backwards, faded, yet Glorious in His LIGHT. ~ like a mother and a child….or a father and a child. WE are the FAMILY of GOD.



This morning, shortly after God woke me, I got a phone call. I didn’t answer. I simply handed it to my husband. David, though half asleep answered. The person said they had the wrong number. I thought, “wow that is what happens when GOD takes the phone call.” It was something so simple yet, so profound. when the enemy calls, GOD says, “wrong number.”



Many people in ministry, well meaning people kept telling me to read the word every day. Yet, I couldn’t focus. I couldn’t read. I couldn’t even listen. I could just watch. I could just stare. I could just be. All I kept hearing from GOD was this. “Rest my child. REST in me.”



For days, until yesterday in fact, when David and i prayed at night, only HE would pray. I would simply agree. Even last night I could barely come up with anything to say. So, I mumbled, thank you.



I hope somehow in the midst of this nothingness, this darkness, GOD is still using us. I have wondered how He could? Yet, again I know that NOTHING is impossible for HIM. I thank GOD for reminding me that she, our butterfly is not gone. She is simply more hidden than before.



I thank HIM for the honor of being able to shoulder pain for others, even while walking through the Valley of the Shadow o Death. I thank GOD that in the time where I could have caused great harm, I did not. I forgive the many people involved, because even if they think they knew what they were trying to do, they did not.












GOD walked with me, hand in hand for 18 days. He was with me in bed as I just sat and often wept. He broke me out of many a prison. Thank GOD for HIS Grace, mercy and love to endure even the darkest most cavernous darkness.

Thank you for the sunshine. Thank you for the rain. Thank you for the JOY. Thank you for the pain. Thank you that YOU alone have overcome, again.

REMEMBER that GOD never promised NO PAIN and SUFFERING in the PROmISED LAND. He simply said, the promises are kept there. ~







I have wanted to scream, but couldn’t. I have wanted to curse GOD, but wouldn’t. I have wanted to HATE, but cannot. Because deep within I know that when darkness calls, even on the phone, that GOD will overcome. He already has. We simply must receive it.

In His grace and GLORY,

E and Family


21 Feb 2014

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