Yearly Archives: 2016


fighting-parents 816e6e642d8b65a15137333cbf5ed230 broken_home_living_room republic-of-the-broken-home-300x225 home large god-of-the-broken-home-cc-image_october_2013Can’t recall if I have used this title of an entry before. I went back and forth, between, “Phone Home,” or “Home away from HOME,” even “Jesus is Home.” But nowadays, learning that well, LESS is MORE, At least pertaining to words of the heart. Particularly true, with His Heart. Because, what seems slow to us, is fast to Jesus.

I slept through her actual “time” of her Heavenaversary. Part of me, doesn’t care if another soul reads this. It’s really just thoughts, visions, insights, and more, that I share with my LOVE, and vice versa. At first I felt sad, that everyone went about his or her life. But, the truth is, that’s a blessing in disguise.

I sat in the tub, and wept. I wept at good memories, I wept and rough ones. I wept because so few get it, I can’t seem to finish the book, there’s misunderstanding all over, I feel forgotten, and so much MORE. I saw her, dancing, and she stopped, when she noticed me watching. She looked in my eyes, and through His Love, I heard a few words. “I know this is hard, and you thought, well you know. But momma you’re needed there. It’s tough to be both places, but that’s why we rely on His Graces. Never forget my story is yours. It was always a part of you, written in the Heavenly stars. whether finished there, it is here. Soon. I know that does not comfort you, or make you feel better. especially today. But please remember the promise made. Hold onto that, like the hem. It’s never too late to begin, once again. Try not to judge them, for they really cannot comprehend. And, some are loving, how they can. Others, well Jesus will handle them too. With care, blessing, and Love. You will see. Just Rest, and Be. I will tell you I love you, I will remind you what it was like to hear. You have so many presents, hidden away till it is time there. Please remember everything belongs not to you, me or anyone else. Remember….I know it does not seem like it, but you ALL are doing well. Every day WE ring the Heavenly liberty bells over you ALL.”~

Someone told me, I was past learning, from a certain avenue. But Jesus says, “There’s never a time, that I can’t use something to teach you. Not Ever. I found myself, apologizing over and over and over, for getting wrapped up, in how I feel. I apologized for being selfish, not seeing the BIG picture. I apologized for being moved by others, in a way that pulled me from His arms.  But you know what the response was. “My Grace is sufficient, my beautiful one. It’s no surprise to me, that you breakdown sometimes. As far as being moved from me, THAT is not possible. I am always with YOU. I always Love you. You ALWAYS matter.” I cried out, “But i don’t believe you!!!! If I mattered, then this and that would not happen!!! I would be safe.” His response, “You ARE safe. You just DON”T always FEEL safe. But, that does not change the truth. In my arms, you are safe, you are free, and everything YOU are meant to be. Always. I will believe FOR you, when you cannot. I am ALL you need. My promise, to step in, if it gets to BE too much. Even the good, at times, can feel crushing. But, I come as a rushing wind, again and again, as many times as it takes. YOU are an irreplaceable treasure, to ME. If I had no need of YOU, things would be different, you see?”

Home, where the heart is, where we are at peace, where there is security, safety, freedom, and release. HOME….in the simplest term and word, JESUS. ~


23 Dec 2016

TWINS Again ~ 🌺💐🌸

  1. Cuddle Bears

    Cuddle Bears in honor of Sarah Elizabeth Sharpe



    12239719_10153428949738579_1494682980063883186_n816e6e642d8b65a15137333cbf5ed2301393995_10201078220131542_2001900371_n10527370_10152605851838879_2057460581450348634_nrepublic-of-the-broken-home-300x225fighting-parentsThe toughest part, about existing, in THIS place, is having the one, who was the MoST accepting, in such a tiny package,  baby be watching now. Don’t get me wrong, I am SO very grateful, for every single thing. Having gone through the motions, and still enduring them, the perspective, from before, inn some ways, is just no more. ❤️




But, in others, more daily, is given, a new vision. Eyes But be aware, that new vision, can very much disrupt the OLD. Especially, in a natural way, and sometimes it is VERY ODD. But, make no mistake, that it is God. His love, love❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ no one said would be easy. Not to mention, in this place and time, it can make us feel queasy. ~~~





I used to give WAY more credit, than was needed, to a place, of hurt. So many are living in the prison, of religion, and in it, there is ONLy one cure. Guess what it is? The real LOVE of Jesus. I always wanted a twin, and then came Sarah. She was this, ray of sunshine, that through Jesus I just began to adore. Yet, I admit, every day, I would secretly wonder, somewhere, is today the day? I don’t think I have ever verbally admitted that, till now.





Because, I was taught, to put a smile on your face, and love in your heart, and just get through. But…Jesus Love, and His plans are so much MORE than just survival. ~




I guess this is… What I wrote then.  Hmmmm 222. Yes.  Wow… Now. Going on a treasure Hunt, looking for Jesus.  Are we gonna find Him?  Guess we’ll SEE… Grace Grace.  So needed this journey.



To See. To Grow. To let Go…



Oh the plans of God, and of Heaven will Carry on… Without US…. True.  In a sense.  However, don’t be so clever to think, you are not significant. Oh, the places WE go, together. We go, with Jesus Christ.




When do we Obey… Write Away.  ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

Grace. Mercy. Love.

Surrender… We must fear not Heaven’s ⚡️ Highway.

Because… That FEAR,



False Evidence Appearing Real… …




It can have CLAWS… I’ve seen it.  But, His ❤️…. That’s NEVER…. A regret.  His Love… Will and conquer.  But, no one said, it would be EASY TO understand, comprehend, or even receive.  When, you can’t believe.  His ❤️ does that too.  Grace.  Here.  Now.  33. To Jesus, its the perfect number.    Not bound by the clock… But Free… By the wisdom of Heaven.  Yes, He loves ❤️ Me.




Do I miss what was?  In some way, everyday.   Do I dwell?  No way.  Jesus is my liberty .  I have to TRUST IN Him. That His ways, are so much Higher, and Better, than MINE.  His mine, and OURS.  A plan divine.  However it arrives.  Grace.  His Love. ❤️ His time.  ⏰




I read tonight 1 Corinthians 15….  The WHOLE chapter… REST… And resurrection. Subject matter, juristiction. Beauty, in these words, YES.  Manna.  But, warning too.  Grace.  Grace.  ❤️




I’ve said this before, but it needs said MORE ➕. This LIFE IS so…… NOT about ME.  But, I am a piece.    A Lion kid.  Yes.  Me.  His.  True.  Sometimes, I feel ALot. I have been beaten, bruised, broken, ripped to shreds, left for dead and…. RESURRECTED. By His Grace.  Not once.  But… He knows the amount, the cost.  It’s His… After ALL. ❤️ ❤️



I will CHOOSE to be NOT afraid. Forgive Always.  Love Anyway.  And… Believe. “What you say of ME” (Lauren Daigle) ❤️  Grace ~~~~~



A present, blessing… but… oh my to digest it.  Takes Jesus….


When Sarah, went Home… A little raccoon appeared at RMH window. Just, for a moment though.  When I grabbed my phone, to take a picture. Gone. Then I heard, “Some things are just for you. ” Tears again.  ~~~ Grace.  This raccoon, waved hello.  So much JOY ,on it’s face!!!!  You just wanted to pick, it up.  Snuggle and cuddle it 2. Again… Grace.  Bathe…


245… Watching film, bout beautiful pearl.  Lost but found.    Yes.    First time, we watched ending together.  How poetic.  ❤️ Oh, the storms we have weathered.  Amazed…. That song… “Lord I’m Amazed by You. ” We sang it. Her, Celebration 4 Life.



So, there are things that will Enter in, yeah, I won’t GET them.  And, that is totally OKAY.  Because, Jesus fights for me, day and night.  He wins.  Resting in this.  My BEST FRIEND.  My husband.  Yes.  ~~~~ ❤️



Anything else… Above my KING won’t END well for ME.  It will bring HELL. And, I want Heaven instead. Oh, my such a tough lesson. Still learning…   Grace.  Thank you Jesus… You Set Me FREE   ( hill song)  Christ ⛪ my Savior brings Victory.


In His Grace,



24 Nov 2016

The Merry Go Round

Not that long ago, I may have written another post, similar to this one. But, lately MY memory, has been a tad challenging. So, if so, let’s just say, we are continuing on. I had a vision today of a merry go round. I LOVE to play in Heaven. I seem to do it, a lot. Yet, I may not always be officially conscious of it. 😉 Anyway, I began thinking about my childhood.

I don’t know why, I have been given the gift of TIME. But, I am so grateful for it. I guess I do know why. Because, there has been a real NEED for it. You know, WE all think about time, from a literal perspective. But, remember that the issues with the enemy begin, and end with LOGIC. I’m not gonna try and convince you of it, just look at the stories. The Genesis Story alone, shows us this. LOGIC unsurrendered before Jesus, can be a very dangerous tool.

Back, to the Merry Go Round, and Merry God Round. Have you ever had a GOD moment, and just got so dizzy you could barely stand? Well guess what, THAT is the Merry God round. It is so fun, until you get dizzy, and cannot stand up. THEN, you feel sick. Long ago, in the hospital, with our littlest angel, I began to get glympses of this. Yet, I never ever knew it was so much, like a merry go round.

THAT, by the way, as a kid, was my absolute favorite!!!! Yet, as an adult, sometimes, I forget, that the dizziness, eventually passes, and balance comes back. I have been having a unique set of physical challenges. Not gonna get into lots of detail. Despite how it looks, I know this is about GOD, and nothing more. I may have my moment of weakness. But, HE is my reason for existence. HE does anything that is ever GOOD, that comes through ME.

Does that mean it is easy? Well, LOGIC says that it should be. But GODGIC, His ways, say otherwise. His ways, are NOT our ways. The greatest key, to receiving HIS LOVE, in full, is staying surrendered, and teachable before God. I hope that THIS blesses you ALL.

This Blog is about HIS LOVe…and HIS desire for all of us to receive it. HIS Grace indeed is sufficient, and thank GOD it is perfected, when we feel weak. 🙂

In His Grace and Glory,


02 Nov 2016

Kryptonite Mine

When I was a child, I thought like a child. Well, sometimes, I did. Other times, I would observe something, and well, TRY and talk about it. Usually, with a family member of friend, I would share. Most the time, I really did not check, whether they wanted to hear. I just spoke, often fearful, that I would run out of time.

I would hear people around me, speak about faith. My parents, friends, and many others. Yet, I couldn’t help but notice, that they seemed lost. I knew I was, or at least it appeared that way. But, I would hear the name of Jesus preached, and teached. Yet, I would think to myself. Where is this guy? Why, doesn’t He show up?

Somewhere inside, I new the truth. But, when I would ask the questions, rejection came. The elders would look at me, with disdain. They figured, why should they listen to a child?  Because, in their eyes, I had no experience. What did I know? I must confess, when I first became a parent, I thought this. So, my intent is not to judge a single soul. But, to speak the truth, which is, thinking that way, leads to nothing.

Often our “Heavenly Kids” have wondered if we loved one child, more than another. Some have confronted us, before. But, what WE have always said, is simple. JESUS is whom we choose. They are united now, He and our butterfly. Heaven is where she fully resides. Yet, we do too, but it’s a bit different. Because, HERE there are barriers and boundaries, put in place.

The title, Kryptonite Mine, is when someone says, MY Jesus cannot. So, I lay it down, so HE can give it a shot. He wins. Again and Again and Again. Not just something we say. The proof is IN His EYES. LOVE resides there. He always cares. JOY. Grace. Mercy. Glory. All the good lives there. Even Kryptonite, of this world, can stop HIS hand or plans. 🙂

04 Oct 2016

Will YOU remember ME?

1024_1069125859787707_7567550745995162315_n184414_10151642914512863_1045860989_nWriting has never been something, that has come easy, for me, except WITH Jesus. You see, I am instructed, and then the instructions, are followed. Often, the emotions, I am feeling, are not just mine. I am certain, I am not alone in this. Because, JESUS when, HE walked the earth, faced these, “giants” of sorts. He faced them, head on, and He conquered them ALL. Now, THAT is the GREATEST news. The victory, is NOT in what we SEE, or even HEAR, UNLESS WE are seeing through HIS eyes.

This is a tough entry, not because Jesus cannot do it. But, more because, it requires even more transparency. Every time, I think, I can’t share more, I cannot go deeper….well, surprise. He can. Thank GOD, I can sit back, and let HIM. Thank GOD for the Grace, to BE. Especially, for the Grace to BE ME…HIS kid, His baby, His wife, His Love. Oh my, it’s not easy somedays. But, know it IS worth it. Thank GOD, WE can be US.

I’m not sure if I have shared this before. But, my husband David, is both very emotional, and very NOT used to showing emotions. When Sarah went HOME, that changed. At first, it seemed to change in a good way. Particularly, in a GOD way. Then, the old snares came calling. But, JESUS never stops calling. He SEES and HEARS and is PART of EVERYTHING. Yes, God is not the author of confusion. BUT, He can still move in the midst. I used to believe He could be limited. But, even in our unbelieving, doubts, and pouts, HIS LOVE, NEVER ever stops flowing.

Sometimes, Jesus just obviously takes over, and steps UP. Both, in David and in me, and our Heavenly kids. Other times, it seems like a disaster, that will never end. WE are naturally so hard on ourselves. Yet, JESUS is firm with us, but NEVER harsh, with HIS babes. WE are naturally tough on others, if we are hard on ourselves. Forgive us LORD.

THIS song came on…

“Chasing Cars”

By: Snow Patrol

We’ll do it all
On our ownWe don’t need
Or anyoneIf I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don’t quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
They’re not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we’re told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that’s bursting into life

Let’s waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we’re told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that’s bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they’re all I can see

I don’t know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

FOR ME….MUSIC was, a stone in the path to salvation. I pray, that is true, for all the babes, of Heaven. Because, despite the fact, that music, here has appeared, to be influenced, for the bad; JESUS LOVE. He still wants to bring rescue…and HE IS RESCUE.
THIS song came on next…
How to Save a Life
Step one, you say we need to talk
He walks, you say sit down, it’s just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left, and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
You begin to wonder why you came
Where did I go wrong?
I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Let him know that you know best
Cause after all, you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you’ve told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And I pray to God he hears you
Where did I go wrong?
I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I
JESUS saved me, before I ever came to earth. He saved you, before your natural birth. He feels your hurts, and pain. Your losses, are so deeply HIS gains. But, cruel, He is not. He gives YOU all He has got. Forgive us Lord, for pride…Help us reside, in your eyes. To enjoy even the toughest days, of THIS ride. You make us NEW, we worship YOU. We thank you for your LOVE, and choose to remember. Despite the aches we feel, We know YOUR LOVE is REAL. I have felt angry, maybe at YOU. I must say I’m sorry, for ALL I put you through. But, I am grateful for every breath. Even when it hurts, and I can barely stand. As I climb this mountain, I LOVE the view. But, it is sometimes hard to exist. Because no one can see, like YOU, without YOU. Help us. WE are LOST, but FOUND. We are starting NOW, to remember YOU. We remember the GOOD, and the TRUTH. Forgive the religious olds, and grant Heaven in place, as we are told. The babes are crying, obvious, and not. So many dying, running themselves in the ground. Leaveing others wailing, the pictcher is on the mound. The enemy is out, and those who follow him, shall see. JESUS is shouting the final call. It BLARES the word….VICTORY. Glory.
THIS world is hurting. It does not NEED criticisms, or chastisements. Forgive us LORD. Take over us, and bring YOUR advisements. It is TIME for the BODY to unite. To unite from unholy ties that bind. It is TIME for releasse, launch, and so much more. I stand and sit, on Heaven’s floor. What about YOU? What are WE waiting for? Are we looking upon mistakes, as the ones holding the gate keys?
Because, the TRUTH is, when we remember Jesus, we remember the good. THEN, it begins to show up, more than the BAD. Or, to HIS point, the seemingly BAD. Because, in JESUS everything literally IS, ALL GOOD. There is no fear there. There is no pain, no tears, no hurt, in HIM, there is only LOVE. That does not mean, that IN Him, we won’t feel. It just means, those feelings will NOT rule our days. Because, that is not HIS ways.
Yet, Thank GOD for the Grace to feel. As a child, I hurt myself so deeply. I cut myself, behind the scenes. So few knew, yet, it felt I wore it on my sleeves. I remember the very first day. I saw, from the corner of my eye, what looked like a glympse of Heaven. Jesus was weeping, crying tears of blood. I will never forget that day. I tried, so hard to get FREE on my own. He kept calling me, like a phone that would not stop ringing. It was age 14, that I began. I thought I was worthless. I was supposedly raised, in a Christian home. Yet, everyone seemed so alone, around me. I would try to read the word, of God, and it would confound me.
So, I went off on a trip, and oh what a journey, it has been. Into the darkness. Down the rabbit hole. Jesus was with ME. He never left my side. Thank God for those, who stayed along for the ride. SO grateful…So healed, and made new. Almost 40 years, died too many times to count. But, the one that matters most, was on the cross, with Jesus. We were in the audience, throwing stones, and yet With HIM.
The world will tell you, THAT considering YOUR needs is selfish. But, Jesus tells us, that honoring GOD is never selfish. AND, He made US. WE are so important to HIM. So, will you remember JESUS? Will you see HIM in your babies eyes. In her ashes, for us. As I said, THIS is so hard. I am weeping, as I type. There is hurt and healing in these words, that are writen.
I know sometimes WE seem deep, but at the CORE, we are just kids. Ones who want to be loved, and must remember WE are HIS. I repented before Heaven, for hurting that which, HE LOVES. He healed me…in 2003, and here I stand, cut free. I never hurt myself on purpose, anymore, and it takes Jesus to remind…That He redeems the time, every single moment. Despite how I think, feel, or SEE. His LOVE spands eternity.
So, I encourage you ALL, to remember the LOVE. It is hidden inside you, because He placed it there. Make Jesus smile today, and say I choose YOU, and I choose YOUR ways. Take over, and do it JESUS, NOW and every day. 🙂

Psalm 111:5

He has given food to those who fear Him; He will remember His covenant forever.

Luke 1:69-73

And has raised up a horn of salvation for us In the house of David His servant– As He spoke by the mouth of His holy prophets from of old– Salvation FROM OUR ENEMIES, And FROM THE HAND OF ALL WHO HATE US;

Psalm 105:42For He remembered His holy word With Abraham His servant;

Deuteronomy 6:20-23

“When your son asks you in time to come, saying, ‘What do the testimonies and the statutes and the judgments mean which the LORD our God commanded you?’ then you shall say to your son, ‘We were slaves to Pharaoh in Egypt, and the LORD brought us from Egypt with a mighty hand. ‘Moreover, the LORD showed great and distressing signs and wonders before our eyes against Egypt, Pharaoh and all his household;

Joshua 1:3

“Every place on which the sole of your foot treads, I have given it to you, just as I spoke to Moses.

2 Peter 3:9

The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance.

Isaiah 49:15-16

“Can a woman forget her nursing child And have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, but I will not forget you. “Behold, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands; Your walls are continually before Me.

Genesis 19:29

Thus it came about, when God destroyed the cities of the valley, that God remembered Abraham, and sent Lot out of the midst of the overthrow, when He overthrew the cities in which Lot lived.

Genesis 30:22

Then God remembered Rachel, and God gave heed to her and opened her womb.

1 Samuel 1:19-20

Then they arose early in the morning and worshiped before the LORD, and returned again to their house in Ramah And Elkanah had relations with Hannah his wife, and the LORD remembered her. It came about in due time, after Hannah had conceived, that she gave birth to a son; and she named him Samuel, saying, “Because I have asked him of the LORD.”

Luke 1:54-55

“He has given help to Israel His servant, In remembrance of His mercy, As He spoke to our fathers, To Abraham and his descendants forever.”

Hebrews 8:10-12


Jeremiah 31:33-34

“But this is the covenant which I will make with the house of Israel after those days,” declares the LORD, “I will put My law within them and on their heart I will write it; and I will be their God, and they shall be My people. “They will not teach again, each man his neighbor and each man his brother, saying, ‘Know the LORD,’ for they will all know Me, from the least of them to the greatest of them,” declares the LORD, “for I will forgive their iniquity, and their sin I will remember no more.”

In His Grace and Glory,

Elea and Fam


26 Sep 2016

None but Jesus

Haven’t written that much in a while. Because, to be totally transparent, I have been feeling pretty overwhelmed. I am honest to a fault, because i cannot lie. If I say something, that appears to be untrue, I get so convicted, and like immediately confess it. I suppose, it’s just the way Jesus created me. I’m both grateful, and yet at times, have been tormented by it.

Now this, does not mean, I never fell for a lie. Because, there were times, that I absolutely I did. Without Jesus at the helm, I’m sure I still would. But, through the process of surrender, I am seeing Jesus bring wholeness and healing, to His body. His delight is YOU. He created YOU. He adores and LOVES YOU. Those are not just words.

Have you ever felt forsaken, neglected, dejected, and thrown away? Because, if SO, then you are in good company. Jesus experienced, very little acceptance. Most often, what He received was “pretended acceptance.” How many of you, have had someone say they just love you, then drop you, when it suits them? Well, Jesus will NEVER ever do that! Anyone who really closely knows HIM, should not do that either.

IF WE are the face of HIS Grace, then WE must consider others, in our actions. Ultimately, in doing so, WE honor JESUS in full. We honor our Heavenly Father, and the Holy Spirit. You deserve honor, because Jesus loves you. YOU are the child of a KING, of royal and holy decent. Who is it that receives the honor in YOU, Jesus. But, because He adores you, He shares HIS LOVE. Jesus embodies selflessness. His name mean, holy sacrifice.

YOUR name In HIM is important. Today, take the time, and seek what HE calls you?

Who do you say I am, “You are the Christ, the risen son of God.”

Matthew 16:13-20Amplified Bible (AMP)

Peter’s Confession of Christ

13 Now when Jesus went into the [a]region of Caesarea Philippi, He asked His disciples, “Who do people say that the Son of Man is?” 14 And they answered, “Some say John the Baptist; others, Elijah; and still others, Jeremiah, or [just] one of the prophets.” 15 He said to them, “But who do you say that I am?” 16 Simon Peter replied, “You are the Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed), the Son of the living God.” 17 Then Jesus answered him, “Blessed [happy, spiritually secure, favored by God] are you, Simon son of Jonah, because flesh and blood (mortal man) did not reveal this to you, but My Father who is in heaven. 18 And I say to you that you are [b]Peter, and on this [c]rock I will build My church; and the[d]gates of Hades (death) will not overpower it [by preventing the resurrection of the Christ]. 19 I will give you the keys (authority) of the kingdom of heaven; and whatever you bind [forbid, declare to be improper and unlawful] on earth [e]will have [already] been bound in heaven, and whatever you loose [permit, declare lawful] on earth [f]will have [already] been loosed in heaven.” 20 Then He gave the disciples strict orders to tell no one that He was the Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed).

08 Sep 2016

More MIRACLES from Heaven

Writing and sharing, at times, is so tough. But God. Jesus do it! There is so much to share. I have to go slow. Any of you who know, me, know that is NOT my fortay. Giggles, I am a runner. I tend to sometimes jump ahead. Again, but God. to date I have watched the film, “miracles from Heaven,” 3 times. In our family, WE always say, the 3rd time is for Jesus. Boy, is that TRUTH, BUt, perhaps, every time IS.

I came out of religion. In fact, I detest i when people call me religious. Because, I am one thing. HIS. I am so over the moon, in LOVE with JESUS, and everything, JESUS. It is like living in Jesus’s theme park. yet, in this world, oh the cost. Neglect, rejection, lack of affection, and SO much more. I still can’t watch this film, without breaking down. I used to think that was a failure of sorts.

Until today. Now, I KNOW through HIM, that it is compassion, that brings those tears. HE is crying through me. It is NOT easy, for HIM, to watch HIS family suffer, He cried tears of blood, remember??? Ergo, it won’t be easy for US, through HIM either. In the film, they really never officially give HIM credit. YET, He gets credit anyway, because, it is HIS birthright. We in  association are blessed. Yet, Jesus gets it ALL.

Being fully transparent….I have died so many times. I have even almost died, physically, at my own hand. But God. His LOVE conquered, for us, and the children. Still, it was US through HIM, who went. HE who goes, and WE with HIM. The trap for me. Forgetting that WE are one body. Falling into comparison. That leads straight to a mountain of negatives.

The FACT is, may who say they like you or love yoou don’t. But, JESUS does and always will!!! The peace of the LORD never actually leaves. BUT, the measure changes. JESUS, is the shalom. He lives in us! THAT is VERY good news. As I watched this film, a hoard of emotions hit me. But God. Even still, I observe, and receive more downloads, through JESUS. My connection. My ONE and only connection, to HOME.

I was sort of trained to be naturally critical. What about YOU???

My entire family is teachers, I did NOT, I repeat NOT want to be a teacher. Because, I wanted to be different. It was pride. Boy, was it ever. There was a time, I was never treachable, or teachable. BUT GOD. He is, and in places where I fail, THAT is okay. HE does NOT!!!!! He succeeds. His LOVE wins. He sickseeds, too, and sucjs the bad out. Like sickles, they flourish. Honey sickles. OH , do I LOVE them. So so so many miracles, ALL arpund us. AROUND…but we think some things don’t make sense right? They are confusing. YEP. Without Jesus, they remain a mystery.

But with HIM…Oh HEAVENS.

29 Jul 2016

MY boss is JESUS

I began watching a film recently, with one of our “Heavenly kids.” In it, this woman, was the “boss” in her own right. But, it began me thinking about Jesus. When He is our boss, HE is the one, who says go, speak, stop, and move. He can also, fire us, when needed. SO much is happening in the world. But, so much is happening in HIS world too. I personally, want to stay there, and focus on HIS LOVE.

Because, it is simple. He is my boss. He reports to the Heavenly Father. WE report to HIM, and the holy spirit, nurtures us, to receive. I am just so excited, about what is coming. There will be more good than bad, for those hidden in CHRIST. Watch it all unfold, and rejoice!!!

27 Jul 2016

Finding Jesus

This evening, our daughter and I went to see “Finding Dory.” This movie deeply touched me. Even before the movie began, there was a pixar cartoon. In it, a baby bird, was the focus. It zeroed in on, the mommy teaching the baby bird. For those of you, who know us personally, or have followed along with this blog, you can understand why it reached me. The baby bird went out to the ocean, and got hit with a wave. It scared it. It was hesitant to come out again. It kept running, from the wave. But, then it met a pal, and the pal helped it to see, that the wave was NOT as scary, as it appeared. There is a point, where he goes into the wave. We do this in life right? We are actually called INTO the storms of life. WE cannot go around them, most often we must go THROUGH them.

The film spoke of reconciliation, rehabilitation, and release. That got me too. Because, It is a DEEP desire of my heart. I want all 3 of those things. How bout you? I mean, don’t we ALL want these things? We get LOST in the world, the way she got LOST from her parents, we get LOST from Jesus. I’m convinced, that we are birthed into this world, with seeds of LOVE hidden, on the inside. But, depending on the atmosphere, that we arrive into, we grow in that place. Most days, I can make peace, with God’s plans. But, sometimes, when the BAD rears it’s UGLY head, I need rescue. The hardest part about rescue, is that it often LOOKS really messy and chaotic.

In my life, there have been times, where I have made really bad decisions. I own that. I thank God for HIS Grace. Because, if it were not for it, then so many things would be different. Jesus teaches us that His Grace is sufficient. All my life, from the moment, I cam to earth, I have been on a hunt for Jesus. I don’t think I realized that I was looking through eyes of fear, shadowed by faith. Even as an adult, I cannot lose the child in me. Because, THAT is where I find Jesus. THAT is where the REAL LOVE flows.

On my ticket, for this movie they shortened the name of the film. It says finding Jo. I immediately thought of Jane Doe. Then I thought of who is considered a “Jane Doe?” Anyone who has lost identity is known as Jane or John Doe. According to my research, Jane or John Doe, relates to THIS…

“The names “John Doe” or “John Roe” for men, “Jane Doe” or “JaneRoe” for women, or “Johnnie Doe” and “Janie Doe” for children, or just “Doe” non-gender-specifically are used as placeholder names for a party whose true identity is unknown or must be withheld in a legal action, case, or discussion.”

Notice what is says, a non gender place holder for a “party” whose “identity” is unknown or withheld. Who are WE without Jesus? WE are nameless. I began to get ready to go to see the movie, and God was already speaking. The first song that came on, was “HE KNOWS MY NAME.” It really helped me, to remember, that even when I forget who I am, HE remembers. Even when WE FEEL forgotten, it does not make us forgotten.

This song came to me…

I’ve been lookin’ at things in a negative light
Clippin’ my wings in the middle of flight
My motor is running on the heartaches of life
But it’s gettin’ me nowhere fast.

I’ve been relivin’ hurts that seemed far away
Siftin’ the dirt that covered the grave
Of the petty offenses I never forgave
But it’s gettin’ me nowhere fast.

I will remember not
I will forgive
These things that tear my heart
I will forget
I will forget.

Well I find that I’m just not agile enough
To balance the weight of all of this stuff
It’s a cumbersome task that demands too much
And it’s gettin’ me nowhere fast.

I will remember not
I will forgive
These things that tear my heart
I will forget
I will remember not
I will forgive
These things that tear my heart
I will forget
I will forget.

As far as the east is from the west
These are the things that I must forget
I’ll lay down my anger before the sun sets
I will forgive
Oh, and I will forget.

I will remember not
I will forgive
These things that tear my heart
I will forget
I will remember not
I will forgive
These things that tear my heart
I will forget.

I will remember not
I will forgive
These things that tear my heart…

It is a Susan Ashton song, and it came out, when I was a teen. Dory was trying hard to remember, her identity. She received assistance, from those who love her. I personally receive assistance from Jesus. He is the ONLY one, who can open and close doors in my life. He uses friends, family and even strangers, to do so. Or, He just does it, all on HIS own. The point is, it is THROUGH JESUS only, that WE find our way home, and can recognize, who WE truly are, in HIS eyes.

Dory finds her “family.” Yet, she realizes, that they are NOT her ONLY family. See, THAT is what is key. With Jesus it is most frequently, not either or, it is both. The LORD is a multi- faceted God. In HIS ways, He looks at EVERY individual, involved in every circumstance. HIS LOVE, truly covers every single need. HIS mind, is the mind that brings clarity. Without it, life is nothing but chaos and confusion.

So, where is your identity? And WHOM is it wrapped up in? Are you seeking to FIND Jesus? Because, trust me, that HE is seeking YOU, 100% of the time. At the end of the film, the view is the focus. What view are you receiving? Is it one from Heaven? Because I admit, staying focused on heaven is NOT always easy. But, the awesome gift of Jesus, reminds us, that even when it seems like we have dropped the ball, HE has inevitably caught it. 😉

In His Grace and Glory,

E and fam





14 Jul 2016

Taste the RAINBOW

Getting to THIS entry today, has been a challenge. BUT GOD. The premise of it, is that, JESUS wants us to eat of the promises, of HIS LOVE. He wants us to partake, and receive as well as digest, the GOOD. Many of us are used to doing THIS with the bad.

As a kid, i had a parent who would say, “Expect the good, and prepare for the worst.” Sadly, most think that way. They don’t however recognize, that The first part, gets LOST in the second. It is LIKE they switch places somehow. This definitely has happened to me, and our family. Yet, the awesome LOVE of GOD, always conquers, as we allow it to overcome.

Agreement with HIS plans, not just belief is part of partaking. I think many of us know this, but sometimes get moved by the circumstances around us. Thank GOD for HIS Grace. Thank GOD for HIS mercy. Thank GOD for HIS LOVE. To be able to say, I am sorry. To be willing to let HIM change us. Not for our comfort, because it is VERY uncomfortable.

To FORGIVE when something comes against someone we LOVE, and they lash out, is often a challenge. But God. It can ONLY be done, in FULL by HIS LOVE and wrapped, in HIS Grace. There was a time, that there was Grace to learn about the BAD. For some, that has changed, and it is TIME to ONLY receive the GOOD, and the BEAUTIFUL.

Only HIS LOVE can reframe our hearts, minds, and spirits. ONLY HIS LOVE will bring HEALING. But, how does one, who has NEVER known it, recognize it? It feels like foreign territory, at first, to be HONEST. I can say that, because eventhough I arrived, on THIS planet, by the LOVE of GOD. I had LOTS of trouble showing it. Because, everytime I tried, it was rejected.

SO, I felt rejected. Have you ever experienced this? Putting your heart and soul into something, and having it discarded, can just seem devastating. At first, we want to just give up, and not try again. But we do, eventually, until we become so wounded and HURT, that we can’t, in the same way, as we began.

I have come before God, asking for forgiveness, and repenting of my wrongs. Yet, my greatest struggle has not been, in HIS forgiveness. The battle that has been MOST intense, for me, and my family, is FORGIVENESS of ME. Why is that? Why did I get tired of tasting the good? Was it weariness? Was it FEAR? Perhaps, it was more than one reason. But, the FACT is, that when I refused to forgive myself, I was dishonoring God.

I wasn’t trying to hurt God, on purpose. I would NEVER hurt anyone, on purpose. Because, I know how PAIN feels. I do my best to encourage our “Heavenly Kids” to ALWAYS be KIND. I want to CHOOSE the GOODNESS of GOD< consistently, and never EVER fall prey to the BAD choices. But, sometimes, I do. I am so NOT perfect. I simply pray, that somehow in the midst of my imperfections, HIS LOVE, will BREAK through.

This morning, the 5th, Grace and Favor; I woke up. When I did, I got in our vehicle. But before that, I chose HIS BEHICLE. I went to HIS word, and ATE of the GOODNESS and LOVE of God. To honor HIS desires, and to allow HIM to bring about that, from HEAVEN to EARTH. A BEHICLE, is the BIBLE has a vehicle. 😉 He wants US to just BE in HIS LOVE.

That means, that HIS LOVE guides and transforms, everything we touch!!!! How awesome is THAT! But, how does that happen? One moment at a time. In the vehicle this morning, I heard a few songs. The VERY first one, was called “GRACE WINS.”

In my weakest moment I see you
Shaking your head in disgrace
I can read the disapointment
Written all over your face

Here comes those whispers in my ear
Saying who do you think you are
Looks like you’re on your own from here
Cause grace could never reach that far

But, in the shadow of that shame
Beat down by all the blame
I hear you call my name sayin it’s not over
And my heart starts to beat
So loud now, drowning out the doubt
I’m down but I’m not out

There’s a war between guilt and grace
And they’re fighting for a sacred space
But I’m living proof
Grace wins every time

No more lying down in death’s defeat
Now I’m rising up in victory
Singing hallelujah
Grace wins every time

Words can’t describe the way it feels
When mercy floods a thirsty soul
A broken side begins to heal
And grace returns what guilt has stole

And, in the shadow of that shame
Beat down by all the blame
I hear you call my name sayin it’s not over
And my heart starts to beat
So loud now, drowning out the doubt

I’m down but I’m not out

There’s a war between guilt and grace
And they’re fighting for a sacred space
But I’m living proof
Grace wins every time

No more lying down in death’s defeat
Now I’m rising up in victory
Singing hallelujah
Grace wins every time

For the prodigal son, grace wins
For the woman at the well, grace wins
For the blind man and the beggar, grace wins
For always and forever, grace wins
For the lost out on the street, grace wins
For the worst part of you and me, grace wins
For the theif on the cross, grace wins
For a world that it lost

There’s a war between guilt and grace
And they’re fighting for a sacred space
But I’m living proof
Grace wins every time

No more lying down in death’s defeat
Now I’m rising up in victory
Singing hallelujah
Grace wins every time

I TRULY believe SONGS like THIS are PART of TASTING HIS RAINBOW. They are a HUGE reminder, that there is NO PLACE WE CAN GO, WHERE HIS LOVE LEAVES US, and HIS GRACE IS NOT PRESENT. The ONLY IMPOSSIBLE, is for anything but HIS LOVE to conquer.



04 Jun 2016

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