Flatlined Fast Forward

How many times must we die, through the LORD? I have often asked this question. Going to HIM and saying to HIM, “When is the time of redemption and resurrection?” Have you asked something similar? Like a child in a car, I sit before HIM, saying, “Are we there yet?” I am wanting ONLY to be real here. I experience, like you, the human journey. It is NOT an easy process. It was NOT meant to BE EASY. At times it is uncomfortable, to the nth degree. But, having said that, it is SO worth the process. You know why? Because, it is MEANT to prepare US for Heaven.

The title of this entry, came to me at a very ODD time. I had just come off a fast, that quite frankly, I did not even know I was on. I had never experienced a FAST like this one before. It was related to faith, yes, as most are. However, THIS one was not just related to it, it actually WAS it. You see, my faith had become a THORN in my side. What does God tell us about those? That, they cut us, right? I read a post recently about leading while bleeding. Though, I do believe that someone can get healed from a leader who is bleeding, I also feel strongly THAT cannot and should not last forever. Meaning, JESUS must come and bring healing, or the person dies. They will NOT just die to the flesh, they will leave the earth.

There are SO many times, I have literally died. I say literally because, for me it is not just a heart beat that keeps me alive. It is one thing, for me, JESUS. Now, that I am reconnected, no matter how I feel, there can be no disconnect. In fact, in truth there felt like one before, but even that was deception. Because, at that time, Jesus was still watching over me. My testimony has been somewhat hidden to me. In some ways, I could not explain it to others. Until, Sarah Elizabeth, our youngest daughter, came into our life.

When she was birthed to us, and through me, our LIFE began to experience Heaven. I will never forget that day. people say, God is not a confusing God. The word says, “he is not the author of confusion.” I firmly agree with that. Though, I also believe that PEACE from God can FEEL like confusion to us. It definitely does to a non believer. So, we need to consider this, and that WE cannot expect evil to leave when GOD shows up. However, the GOOD news is WE can and should, expect it to BOW!

I have been FLATLINED and thrust forward. I have sat before HIM, and said, “I have died too many times to count, when does that part end?” There are seasons, as We know, through Jesus. A season is a specific amount of time, kin to an era. It can be an hour. I am SO learning this part, that seasons in the natural, sometimes LOOK different than those in the spirit, at first. But, in HIM and through Jesus, the Heavenly Father, and Holy Spirit, they become solidified. Tangibleness, and LIFE comes, through JESUS, our awesome and Glorious guide.

As a child, I thought like a child. Here is why, because, I became a product of my environment. I became a product of death, essentially, that looked happy sometimes. But, LIFE was always about drudgery. I sought the JOY, and I just did NOT get that it was ALL in JESUS and IS HIM. Every time, I tried to love it was rejected. I was SO LOST. I seemed to live my LIFE in the valley of Baca.



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