Oxygen Please???

What is your oxygen? It seems like an easy question. I mean, most would just say, air. But, really take a moment and think. What are you breathing in? In our case, we are breathing in very deep pain. Not on purpose, and really not by our own doing. Yet, GOD is the anchor in our lives, and thankfully more often than not, we breathe in HIM and His love. He is there in the midst of the storms.

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A part of us wants to scream, throw things, run away. In some respect, WE have done ALL of those things. But, yesterday it was reveled that we cannot run away from the storm, or just get over it. WE must in fact go through, to be made NEW. So today, I am receiving the gift to mourn. It sounds so strange to say that, or even type it. Because I never ever would have considered that a blessing. Yet, God’s word says it is.

This is not an easy topic for me. I did not wake up going, “YAY, I get to talk about how much THIS hurts.” But, God impressed upon me, that not only is it critical for my healing and ours, David and I together, it will help others. For I was reminded that He wastes no suffering. Have you ever considered suffering, in GOD could be a blessing? The enemy will put suffering on us, but remember even He has to seek God to do so.

A dear sister of mine was used to share some wisdom. She said, “God qualifies us. He said, consider my servant Job. He says the same about us. You are not only being considered for the job, you have been chosen.” It really changed my perspective. Not to say that it is easy, and there is no struggle. Because, that my friends would be a lie. But, what I can share is, it is definitely made easier, by leaning on GOD.

I ask forgiveness, if I indirectly put off the mourning process. I repent for getting defensive when people would tell me, it’s ok. They would say it’s ok to grieve. BUt, what they really meant, was not in relation to the spirit of grief, it was about mourning.

JOY comes in the mourning. Do you know how long we have cried out for JOY??? Because it has been a LONG time. For me personally it has been decades. I would cry so hard, my nose bled. In fact, over 36 times, in the last 2 years, I have wept that hard. So, when people say “You’re not grieving. I think huh???” In my head I’m going, “I have had the Garden of Gethsemane experience, many times.”

The hardest part about everything that has happened, is the pulling away GOD has done. There have been people, who could not handle His GLORY, who have run away, or tried to hitch a ride, and were adequately and swiftly removed by God. It would be so easy to get bitter, or overcome by sadness and nothingness. To just be saturated by the world, and discouraged on every single turn, would really be a piece of cake. But, David and I can’t do that.

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It would be for one, so disrespectful to GOD. For two it really wouldn’t serve a purpose. Because it would just create more HELL in the process. Meaning, it would multiply death instead of life over to others. If we chose to ignore the healing that God is so graciously offering, we’d surely die, and quickly. Don’t you think that is the enemy’s plan?

I have friends and even some family who have confessed secrets to me. I go before God and ask HIM, “Why are they not coming to you with this?” I don’t mind people confiding in me. I repent daily, and rebuke gossip or anything not of God rearing it’s ugly head. I’m grateful that God is teaching me to be more quiet in spirit and even more teachable. But, having said that, “I am not God. I cannot fix the problem.” I can be loving, and a listening ear and often am, but right now it is hard to do so. I ask for patience please, as does David.

This is a time and season where GOD has stripped us pretty RAW. We asked to be made real, raw and relational. we asked HIM to make us bulletproof. What a process. Dear LORD in Heaven….only HE fully knows. SO many LOVE us, but don’t get it. which is totally ok. Because, ALL that really matter is, “God does.”

I pray these entries are healing for someone. I was thinking about a movie recently. A woman wrote a blog and no one responded. I wonder, “Is God using us to help others?” Yet, in asking this I didn’t realize that it was a prideful statement. I so repent of that. It seems ok, simple even. But, it was clouding my healing process. The healing that HE so graciously has gifted.


Lord, forgive us for any time we have directly or indirectly tried to do your job. YOU alone are GOD. You created us for a purpose, to LOVE and worship you, and to be used to share that holy LOVE. We reject the lies of the enemy this day. We lay down anything, be it emotion, thought, action, or something else, that might be hindering intimacy with you. LORD, you are the oxygen we need. When fastened unto you, the enemy will see a sign that says, “ACCESS DENIED.” Glory to you, Heavenly Father. Glory to you LORD JESUS. Glory to you HOLY SPIRIT. All honor and GLORY belongs to you.

In Jesus Holy Name and BLOOD,


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Revelation 21:4 ESV / 98 helpful votes

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

Matthew 5:4 ESV / 58 helpful votes

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

1 Thessalonians 4:13 ESV / 44 helpful votes

But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope.

Ezekiel 24:17 ESV / 15 helpful votes

Sigh, but not aloud; make no mourning for the dead. Bind on your turban, and put your shoes on your feet; do not cover your lips, nor eat the bread of men.”

Numbers 20:29 ESV / 15 helpful votes

And when all the congregation saw that Aaron had perished, all the house of Israel wept for Aaron thirty days.

Matthew 2:18 ESV / 14 helpful votes

“A voice was heard in Ramah, weeping and loud lamentation, Rachel weeping for her children; she refused to be comforted, because they are no more.”

1 Samuel 30:4 ESV / 13 helpful votes

Then David and the people who were with him raised their voices and wept until they had no more strength to weep.

Isaiah 61:2-3 ESV / 11 helpful votes

To proclaim the year of the Lord‘s favor, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn; to grant to those who mourn in Zion— to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit; that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he may be glorified.

2 Samuel 18:33 ESV / 11 helpful votes

And the king was deeply moved and went up to the chamber over the gate and wept. And as he went, he said, “O my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom! Would I had died instead of you, O Absalom, my son, my son!”

Romans 10:9 ESV / 9 helpful votes

Because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.

2 Samuel 1:12 ESV / 9 helpful votes

And they mourned and wept and fasted until evening for Saul and for Jonathan his son and for the people of the Lord and for the house of Israel, because they had fallen by the sword.

Leviticus 10:6 ESV / 9 helpful votes

And Moses said to Aaron and to Eleazar and Ithamar his sons, “Do not let the hair of your heads hang loose, and do not tear your clothes, lest you die, and wrath come upon all the congregation; but let your brothers, the whole house of Israel, bewail the burning that the Lord has kindled.

Jeremiah 14:3 ESV / 8 helpful votes

Her nobles send their servants for water; they come to the cisterns; they find no water; they return with their vessels empty; they are ashamed and confounded and cover their heads.

Job 1:20 ESV / 8 helpful votes

Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head and fell on the ground and worshiped.

Leviticus 19:28 ESV / 8 helpful votes

You shall not make any cuts on your body for the dead or tattoo yourselves: I am the Lord.

2 Samuel 15:30 ESV / 7 helpful votes

But David went up the ascent of the Mount of Olives, weeping as he went, barefoot and with his head covered. And all the people who were with him covered their heads, and they went up, weeping as they went.

2 Samuel 1:17-27 ESV / 7 helpful votes

And David lamented with this lamentation over Saul and Jonathan his son, and he said it should be taught to the people of Judah; behold, it is written in the Book of Jashar. He said: “Your glory, O Israel, is slain on your high places! How the mighty have fallen! Tell it not in Gath, publish it not in the streets of Ashkelon, lest the daughters of the Philistines rejoice, lest the daughters of the uncircumcised exult. “You mountains of Gilboa, let there be no dew or rain upon you, nor fields of offerings! For there the shield of the mighty was defiled, the shield of Saul, not anointed with oil.

John 3:16 ESV / 6 helpful votes

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

Matthew 12:36-37 ESV / 6 helpful votes

I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”

Jeremiah 41:5 ESV / 6 helpful votes

Eighty men arrived from Shechem and Shiloh and Samaria, with their beards shaved and their clothes torn, and their bodies gashed, bringing grain offerings and incense to present at the temple of the Lord.

Jeremiah 14:2 ESV / 6 helpful votes

“Judah mourns, and her gates languish; her people lament on the ground, and the cry of Jerusalem goes up.

Ecclesiastes 12:5 ESV / 6 helpful votes

They are afraid also of what is high, and terrors are in the way; the almond tree blossoms, the grasshopper drags itself along, and desire fails, because man is going to his eternal home, and the mourners go about the streets—


In HIS Grace and GLORY,

E and FAM

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