1. Our grandfather was the family’s patriarch.

The first word matriarch, I heard A LOT. The second word, I practically NEVER heard. I was led to seek God for the word for the man, or Father. In my family growing up, my mother ran the house. Dad battled being passive aggressive. Well, they both did to some degree. Mom had a lot of fear about things getting done. She tried to bring order. But, my dad always felt like she was trying to undercut him. He would look to other things to fulfill his desire to lead. The choices were NOT always wise ones. He spoke death a lot, and really did not realize just how many curses were affecting us as a family.

Mom tried very hard at EVERYTHING she did. In fact, I believe she went home early, in part, because she threw herself into every thing she attempted. I’m not saying giving your ALL is bad, but not letting JESUS do through us, is always destructive long term. Sometimes as a wife and mom, we are called to have tough conversations. It is NOT always a fun thing to do, and WE do NOT desire to be holy spirit to anyone. Having said that, my parents battled talking AT each other, and not TO each other.

I was reflecting on this scripture today.

Ecclesiastes 3 Amplified Bible (AMP)

3 To everything there is a season, and a time for every matter or purpose under heaven:

² A time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to pluck up what is planted,

³ A time to kill and a time to heal, a time to break down and a time to build up,

⁴ A time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,

⁵ A time to cast away stones and a time to gather stones together, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,

⁶ A time to get and a time to lose, a time to keep and a time to cast away,

⁷ A time to rend and a time to sew, a time to keep silence and a time to speak,

⁸ A time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.

⁹ What profit remains for the worker from his toil?

¹⁰ I have seen the painful labor and exertion and miserable business which God has given to the sons of men with which to exercise and busy themselves.

¹¹ He has made everything beautiful in its time. He also has planted eternity in men’s hearts and minds [a divinely implanted sense of a purpose working through the ages which nothing under the sun but God alone can satisfy], yet so that men cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end.

¹² I know that there is nothing better for them than to be glad and to get anddo good as long as they live;

¹³ And also that every man should eat and drink and enjoy the good of all his labor—it is the gift of God.

¹⁴ I know that whatever God does, it endures forever; nothing can be added to it nor anything taken from it. And God does it so that men will [reverently] fear Him [revere and worship Him, knowing that He is].

¹⁵ That which is now already has been, and that which is to be already has been; and God seeks that which has passed by [so that history repeats itself].

¹⁶ Moreover, I saw under the sun that in the place of justice there was wickedness, and that in the place of righteousness wickedness was there also.

¹⁷ I said in my heart, God will judge the righteous and the wicked, for there is a time [appointed] for every matter and purpose and for every work.

¹⁸ I said in my heart regarding the subject of the sons of men, God is trying (separating and sifting) them, that they may see that by themselves [under the sun, without God] they are but like beasts.

¹⁹ For that which befalls the sons of men befalls beasts; even [in the end] one thing befalls them both. As the one dies, so dies the other. Yes, they all have one breath and spirit, so that a ^[a]man has no preeminence over a beast; for all is vanity (emptiness, falsity, and futility)!

²⁰ All go to one place; all are of the dust, and all turn to dust again.

²¹ Who knows the spirit of man, whether it goes upward, and the spirit of the beast, whether it goes downward to the earth?

²² So I saw that there is nothing better than that a man should rejoice in his own works, for that is his portion. For who shall bring him back to see what will happen after he is gone?

Particularly a time to plant, and a time to reap. Because, there are seasons where we must let God’s seed bring Harvest. It is NOT always going to look as WE expect it to. A great example is when we pray. IF, we are praying God’s will, then WE must let HIM move as He sees fit. So, when we have the hard conversations, WE must do so in LOVE and not be offended, no matter the responses.

The title of this entry is Restored, Replaced, and Resurrected. I was given this title weeks ago. I had no idea the direction God had planned to take this. He wanted to focus on partnership, and how HIS desire is for the man to be the head of the house, but for the house to be run in unity. My husband wanted to know why, when He tried to instill order in the house, only chaos seemed to be present. I mentioned to him, that it is because WE re used to chaos. Order seems like unfamiliar territory at first. But, it won’t forever.

In order to be RESTORED, complete and total surrender is needed. In order for GOD to replace He has to have been given the OLD. In order for Resurrection to occur, death must have shown it’s face. Do you notice each sentence begins with IN ORDER? God’s order does not look like ours. When we REST in HIM and with HIM, we will slowly begin to unravel the chaos. It happens with JESUS. If it happens without HIM, disorder inevitably will ensue.

One thing interesting about my parents. My mother went first. My dad stuck around 14 more years. For a long time, he felt guilty that mom went home before him. But, little by little, despite the chaos, God’s order took root. He was a great dad. He faithfully prayed for us. But, he got few accolades on this side of Heaven. He struggled with being a husband. I believe his battle with disease came from often feeling inadequate. When I was younger, I remember pornography being strewn about openly. No one knew how much of an open door that was. But GOD. In His time, HE would reveal it.

The amazing thing about GOD is He does not care how many times we fall, doubt, or skin our knees. He just cares that WE let HIM LOVE us. My dad was a Godly man. Especially in the end, I can say the example of Jesus in him shined. The day dad went home was the 24th. Biblically that represents the ROYAL priesthood. My dad got his Glorious crown, and ORDER was restored by God. Did it look as I expected? Well, no. In a perfect world, I wanted my mom and dad to see our children and grandchildren. They will, but, NOT as I expected. But, it can’t be wrong, because HIS plans never are.

Recently, I had something earth shattering happen. I’m not going to be too specific. But, suffice it to say, it was like a nuclear bomb, and it was the closets I have ever had to a breakdown. I found myself looking to God and asking “HUH??? After ALL of this? Seriously???” It ROCKED by FAITH to the VERY core, and to be honest it broke me. Most are going to think I am referring to the death of our daughter Sarah. But, I am not. In fact, I had begun to make great strides in healing from that. Then, something else came at me.

I realized my mother had a similar battle. She kept quiet a lot, and internalized too. Me, I have never been fond of quiet for various reasons. But, suddenly I found myself just unable to speak again. I felt that way when our daughter died, and actually when my mother Sarah died too. Maybe even when dad died, I struggled with voicing my words. But, this was related to something else. It was about someone I LOVE dearly, and a betrayal to God. It was NOT against me, but it definitely did and does affect me. So, I had a choice to make. If I internalized it, then it could kill me. THAT was NOT an option.

When I did speak, it was often from pain. Most that don’t know the difference, either don’t know me well, understand, or haven’t yet been taught that discernment. Pain, can be demonic and evil. But, it can also be a gift. For the first time, David and I were given the gift of expressing our pain. We ended up just sitting at the feet of Jesus together ultimately. Sometimes in a marriage, we fight each other. Other times we fight God, or ourselves. We have been married almost 9 years. But, what we have encountered in that short time, some NEVER ever do.

That is a blessing in some ways, yet an obstacle in others. But, the point is that GOD is not just the center. He is the whole kit and caboodle in our marriage. He is EVERYTHING. Which means when we can’t speak, He alone connects us and our family together. Even when almost EVERYONE, if NOT EVERYONE has a desire to RUN AWAY. For us, we have realized that, as long as WE are united still, that leaving is NOT an option.

http://www.openbible.info/topics/unity

So, who and what unites you? In fact, what TIES you together? Because if it is NOT His LOVE, than the ties will eventually break. ONLY His LOVE heals. In HIM we do NOT have to FEAR the storms of LIFE. We can ride upon the waves. Even when WE are hidden inside the wave. It is SAFE there. Because REST in present no matter how WE feel. His LOVE is REAL.

I charge you to seek God for Restoration, Replacement and Resurrection in your homes, families, and lives. Because, one thing I will say is, God NEVER fails. When our faith in HIM is tested, and HIS faith in US is tested WE will pass, with a rainbow of promise as the flying colors. His GLORY is awaiting your surrender. The JOY is just on the other side. One step at a time, choose to heal. It takes courage, but the GLORY of God will multiply.

I am so thankful for the faithful to HIM. I am grateful to God for the prayers, the love, the mothering, the fathering, and the HEAVEN that so many are being used to pray into our lives. Bless them LORD with abundant Heaven. IJN

In His Grace and Glory,

E and Fam