Had Little to NO Intention of Writing 2DAy. Woke, with an ODD dream. And, YEt at UM 4 something I was awoken for 2nd time…in the NIGHT. And this TIME…specific INSTRUCTION. “UP 4 GOOD.” OKay, I said.” But, I need to admit, I was not my usual , um HAPPY GO Lucky Perky…chirpy self. THANK Heavens FOR GRACE. BECAUSE…I LOOKED up, and I said, ” I need a MINUTE to whine…” Yes, YOU heard me write. Not just coreeect. I literally said, I need a minute, to VENT. He is my VERY best friend. You know, what HE said to ME??? He said, You have 5. LOVE 🙂 ❤️
GRACE GRACE…. How did I GET to by THIS PLACE???! ! This place THAT is so love❤️ BEAAUTIFUL…BUT, make NOOOOOO MISTAKE at TIMES so VERRRRY HARD….. You do NOT get to even consider the BAD…because it is NO choice, for YOUR voice. And when it ENTERS, your ATMOSphere…and TRIES to bring tears2 FEAR…GRACE GRACE? You 🙊 SEE? That’s ME?! ? My LIFE. It has to BE. The song…(MERCY ME)”If I knew then, what I knew now…Dear younger Me…It’s not your fault…(love you) you ❤️ were never meant, to carry this…beyond the cross.” Oh Jesus has SO taught ME THIS… Still DOES… EVERY SINGLE day… BUT, HE teaches OLDER ME TOO! Because, WE are ONE and the SAME. Oh the BURN…at TIMES in the NAME…And the yearn… 2… But it is a HEAVENLY ONE~~~~
The BOOm….Oh IT IS a GOOD ONE… As a KID, I loved, the FIREWORKS, on the 4th of JULY. I still LOVE to WATCH them, but the LOUD sounds, sometimes BOTHER my ears. Ears👂 Because when you have experienced, as MUCH intensity, as I Have, in LIFE…your hearing, just GETS affected. My 5 senses, are at TIMES more sensitive, than other people. BUT, JESUS has HEALED me. ❤️ ❤️ ❤️
AND HE is in FULL CHARGE…of ALL 5!!! ❤️
Last year, in DEcember I was diagnosed, with an Xtreme Histamine issue…and it was AWFUL… Sad🙁 Seriously…I could NOT EAT normal FOODS. I ate things like turkey and apple sauce for weeks, then, no apple sauce. Then, I was down to 3 kids foods. The ones SARAH ate. THAT was not LOST on ME. Also, THIS happened 1 DAY before her 4 year Heavenaversay. YES…it was SCARY. AND, I do NOT scare easily.
WE ate from a locale restaurant. Name, not important. It felt like someone overdosed ME, with drugs. Yuck…BUT GOD! He saved ME! He ALWAYS DOES! Love❤️ We were watching a GAME SHOW! I told my husband, PRESS PAUSE!!! (Then Jesus pressed pause on Me 😉 ) He did, and got my oxygen(machine died 3 days later)…and if He did NOT, I would be GONE…DEAD and GONE…But not the plan of HEaven…My Husband Helped. 🙂 Jesus Heard my YELP.
David nursed me through the night, was so loving and kind. Love❤️ And within a few days, our amazing doctor had the answer. We would later find. HIstamine… HIS TIMING- Jesus Broke it down. Grateful. So Very Grateful. ❤️ ❤️ ❤️
REMEMBER – I CAN EAT NOW!!! ANYTHING He leads. (July 12, 2018) I was healed fully. I am wise. I don’t eat, anything I please. But, He has healed me 🙂 It is FUNNY to me, the SONG on the RADIO… (Ryan Stevenson) “No matter what YOU’ve done you cannot change HIS LOVe…” EXACTLY—- I confess, when I have had TRIALS happen in my LIFE…almost EVERY TIME…I have asked JESUS…”DID I do SOMETHING Wrong?” And He always says to Me, “Wrong is NOT my song.” Love❤️ The point is not right or wrong with JESUS…It is LOVE. Love❤️ ❤️ ❤️ It is ALWAYS…Come HERE LOVE…Let’s Work this THROUGH…TOGETHER. I am in TEARS, as I TYPE THIS….❤️
Because, THERE has BEEn and STILL IS SOME DEEEEEP HEALING taking PLACE with THIS TOPIC. With Sarah, I had been told, I was going to be a bad MOM, I had other moms telling me I was a bad mother, and that my husband and I raised her wrong. And then, when she went HOME…WE had slander…about THAT too. And I went to JESUS…with my HEART…and I said, “SEEEEEE THIS is WHY I NEVER WANTED A CHILD!” My husband asked me once, if “DEEP down, I knew that one day Sarah would go HOME b4 US, and that WE would experience THAT KIND of PAIN?” ANd I said, “If so, it was not a conscious thought. But, I was always scared of having children. Scared of what I would pass on. Because, of what was told, about me. How horrible, I was.” Tears….5:23 Grace Grace (Sarah went Home – 12/23)
The Song….”I lift my Hands up 2 the ONE who Saves…I am FREE.” YES I am FREE “MERCY ME” Such FREEDOM EXISTS NOW!!!! I can Hardly put INTO WORDS! The LAUGHTER, THAT COMES…NOW the SONG… “OUR GOD” – Chris TomLIn is ON! and THAT song- is JUSt an ANTHEM!!! I have SUNG it ON STAGE! And NOW HE is REMINDING ME, I WILL SING it ON STAGE aGaIN, with MY FAMILY!!!! YES!!! THAT, I WILL JOYFULLY DO!!!! ANYTHING WITH YOU!!!! LOVE BLOOMS AND BOOMS!!!! YES, it DOES!!!! ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️
Because, of His Love, I became An Amazing Mommy… And my husband An Amazing Daddy… But Because of His Love… Our Amazing Angel 😇 Butterfly… yes… No Words…
The Song… “Even If” Tears… Every Day… Every Year…
Forgiving to Live…. ❤️
In HIS GRACE,
17 Aug 2018