Yearly Archives: 2020

Forgive…put the weight on GOD

I battled weight. Looking back, I SEE that it was a BIG obstacle. Yet it stemmed from other places. The number 1 obstacle, it grew from, was UNFORGIVENESS.

I could always FORGIVE anyone else, but me. And let me say, learning to forgive the unforgivable, should begin with you. My “magnificent obsession,” used to be FOOD.

But something happened, this time, when the weight returned. Usually, it discourages me, and pulls me down. But THIS time, I began to PUT the weight on GOD. Now, that does not mean, the “weight” disappeared. However, IT has been easier to carry.

This morning, it was 5:28 when I began writing. A sweet friend, said…YOU have to get your FIRE out. Even thinking of it now, I am in tears…you see, GOD creates HIS children, to BE firestarters. And when your heart, is for JOY…and many others are hiding… they won’t always enjoy the FIRE.

Think of it this way, if you’re sitting by the fireside, and enjoying the warmth, at some point in time, you will say that’s enough. I used to take it personally. I have had people use the phrase “You are playing with fire.” The difference is, I wasn’t playing with it.

And, it has taken years to understand, that the GLORY of GOD, is a flame. That, the FLAME never goes out. EVEN when we DIE, it only gets stronger. My LIFE is Heaven’s playlist. The first 3 songs today… Steven Curtis Chapman, “Magnificent obsession” the next was Mandisa “Press on”, and the third, “Everything” by Lauren Diagle.

Heaven’s radio, is my daily bread. I remember, when GOD the Father, would send me bible verses. I was a new momma, and I was living life with joy, but in terror. I enjoyed, every moment. But, my spirit knew, that at anytime, something could change.

Some call it intuition. I don’t. I call it Jesus. When Sarah came in, in the way she did… I felt such shame. I did NOT understand then, the plans of Heaven. I was both grateful for the GIFT, and truly overwhelmed, by the responsibility.

Yesterday, someone said, WE really ARE a miracle huh? This individual, had so much in common with ME. And I felt such peace, in the process. And she asked me about anxiety, if I had it. I told her, it isn’t as much anxiety, anymore. As, I am so aware of other’s hearts. She asked if I was empathic. I said, I personally don’t see it, that way. I SEE it, as I feel frequency, and vibration. And, that it’s because of my relationship, with JESUS…that I do.

Someone else, said, WE can’t do that without Jesus. I would take it, a step further, and say we “SHOULD NOT” do that, without JESUS. Emotions without JESUS, are quite frankly dangerous. Often people have spoken to me, things they feel. And it requires GOD to know, if it is a sword or knife being thrown, or if it is just a reflection. Sometimes, in my observation, it is BOTH.

Sometimes, I AM very hard on ME. Even as I am writing this, I am telling JESUS… I’m sorry for that. A dear friend, asked for the definition of repentance recently. And the definition that GOD gave me, was simple. Repentance is about a heart change first. The head change actually comes later. NOt saying we don’t have mind battles.

Simple sharing, that the HEART is what JESUS is after. And the fact IS, the heart is what the enemy always tries to destroy. But when a HEART belongs to JESUS, it can only be stolen by HIM. And it’s a GREAT kind of theft. I was thinking of the place, where it says “Jesus will come, like a thief in the night.”

He has done that in my life. And the MOST significant time, it happened…was Sarah’s first birthday. The DAY she was born, HEAVEN invaded our family. And ya’ll it was like an alien invasion. I know that sounds odd. BUt, it WAS…. I never in my whole LIFE, had experienced THAT level of Heaven.

And I still BELIEVE, in fact…it BROKE me. But, by the GRACE of GOD, daily puts me together again. I’m really thankful, for those who saw HIS reflection, and did not FLEE. There are only a few, but MAN…grateful for you. You know, who you are.

Today, as I was writing, I am able to recall memories, with JOY. There was a time, that feels like yesterday, where I had to battle to experience that. It’s something, I don’t wrestle with, anymore. What I do wrestle with, is the FIRE of Heaven. I have been HOME so many times, and each time, I want more.

That’s normal. All the HOME, I had as a child, is mostly in ashes. But, I choose to LIVE among the LIVING. And what’s hard for some to understand, is what was LOST to US…is ALIVE and WELL to GOD. For years, I had trouble comprehending that.

I have mentioned before, that JESUS often speaks to me, through avenues, most can’t hear. One of them, is TV. Because, LIKE it or NOT… Life is intercession. I think personally, I notice that MORE daily. And it is NOT always easy. We were NOT promised EASY. WE were promised, faithfulness.

YOU SEE, when we are unfaithful to GOD, He remains FAITHFUL to US. Because, HE can SEE the heart. One thing that is hard, in LIFE, is to LOVE, despite the darkness. To “Come as WE ARE” and to LEAN on GOD, who is stronger than OAK.

Why is that? What is IN the way… Is it FEAR, Is it DREAD, is it the dead places in our lives? Only Heaven knows. I often get asked, by the ” children” we work with, this question. “Why are people so mean?” And the response, that comes to me, is simple. People are sometimes mean, when their masks are removed.

So many are literally wearing masks, they live like every day is a day, to pretend. But, GOD SEES. And the exposure, is evident in the world, more daily. What is exposed, is the heart. With all of these hideous things, being brought to light; I am thanking God for the healing. Because, anytime, someone hurts another, it comes from their hurt. And anytime, someone comes, and brings healing, from a place of LOVE… it IS JESUS.

And the fact IS, Jesus died for EVERYONE. Sarah was used to personify that, for ME. One day, there was an individual, obviously coming against US, and even her. And she said, “Momma, EVERYONE deserves LOVE. What she was TRULY saying, was JESUS died for her too.

Have you ever faced something REALLY impossible? I think we would be hard pressed, to find anyone, who says NO. Even little ones, face impossible tasks, daily. I keep reflecting, on the place where it talks about, “when i was a child…I thought like a child.” Because, even as an ADULT, I am still my Father’s child.

I often hoped for and wished for, a deeper relationship, with my parents. It was no one’s fault really. It was just something that never was, a need fulfilled. Don’t get me wrong, my parents were good parents. I honor them. They provided, clothing and shelter, and food. They provided, a car and extras for essentials. And, they did the best they could, to LOVE me.

And in saying that, I should say THIS. An empty vessel, has to be filled up. In my case, I made choices, that only made me more empty. In part, because it was what I often saw. I became an “addict” of the world. But GOD. He was only going to let me, go so far. Thankful for that, every single day.

I often marvel, at the places GOD went with ME. They were SEEDY. There were so many times, I felt so uncomfortable. again, BUT GOD. Years ago, God taught US, that EVERYTHING is a SEED. And, back then, even in a STUCK place, GOD was planting. EVEN in places, where there was EVIL present, HIS power always overcame.

The biggest LIE, that WE have been taught to BELIEVE…is that anyone else, has MORE power than GOD. BUT, they do NOT! They never EVER will.

Many Blessings,

Elea and Fam

19 Jul 2020

Hallmark v/s Horror

Hey you guys!!!!! In my best Goonies, voice. Laughing….

And, I believe they said IT on the electric company too. Today, Jesus says it, to US. Yes, THIS is US. Life, is a HALLMARK film, with pockets, of horror. Not by my design. I would choose the FIRST one, never the second. At least, NOT on purpose. But God.

As the song, “He knows MY Name” comes flowing in. It is like a boxing match between the beautiful and serene. And, of course, the complete opposite, to extremes. JESUS is the referee. Every single sport, same. Fun and games? Well, yes and NO.

Why? It is simple. JESUS says. Remember games, as a kid? What kind did you play? Is there a favorite, coming back 2 you, today? My favorite, then…WAS Hide and SEEK. It seemed WE would play, with every kid, on the block. It would get DARKER around US, yet WE did NOT care. We just wanted to keep on playing.

No ONE worried about horror, interrupting. There was simply, JOY…every single TIME, WE found someone! And, THEN, there was a tinge of disappointment, when WE were found. Do you REMEMBER? I do…I do…bet YOU do too. It SEEMS like it WAS a simpler time. And I guess in some ways, it was.

But in OTHER ways, there was just as much congestion and traffic jams. Not to mention, here and there in atmosphere; SMOG. In every city, there is pollution. There WAS then, and now. Yet, the solution, is the SAME. For EVERY single, math equation in LIFE, JESUS actually IS the answer.

He requests to BE invited, into our messes. He humbly seeks to be PART of “our universe.” And, when we ALLOW Him IN, yes there IS CHANGE. There IS most definitely a REARREANGE in furniture.

I used to, when i “GOT into TROUBLE” get sent, to my ROOM. While IN there, I encountered a lot. I would rearrange the furniture, and clean up the space. Eventually, my parents would forget about ME. And when it got dark, I would realize the door…opened. I would then, go find them. and I wanted to BLESS them. I truly wanted to make them smile.

The desire, was to calm the fire of disobey, and disarray. Yet, rarely was there a great response, in kind. Most of the time, it was a blow off, it seemed. So, the next day, though I tried…cycle, continued. I cried a lot. I felt disconnected, from the others.

Especially my brothers, though we could play games. That WAS our safe space. Did you play Monopoly? How bout Clue. Or Atari? Nintendo, then? Games were NOT about winning. They were about connections. Each game had a specific direction.

From heaven 2 EARTH, with JOY…

This entry jumped a bit. Jump rope, roller skates, and ice skates. Fun galore. THIS is what is IN store, from heaven 2 earth.

Yet, WHAT IS it WORTH 2 you? To ME?

What is the EVERYTHING here?

When I was a child…I thought like a child. I fought like one too. Now, I bless the children around US. There is a CHILD in me, and a CHILD in you.

1 Corinthians 13:11

Many Blessings to you,

Elea and Fam

14 Mar 2020

Waiting for Warmth

Hi everyone. It has been a while, since writing in this neighborhood. Smiles.

I began writing at 439, this morning. It is now 6:10 am. And, I am only now, bringing it forth, by GRace. And it is funny, because instead of mad, I am beginning to laugh. And yall, THAAT has been a LOOOOOOOOOOONG time coming.

Quite frankly, it has been a combination of things, today. One challenge, is the NEED to FOCUS. You SEE LAZER focus on JEsus, is simple. In some contect, it means you WILL get interrupted. Is that hard for you? Do you FEEL your time is precious, or fleeting?

In life, it is often tough, to appreciate each moment. Because, it seems EVERYTHING and EVERYONE is VYING for our time. Some, lie and manipulate, JUST to get it. Yes, that is this world.

WE only RENT time, while our heart beats. WE definitely do NOT own it, NOR can WE control it. Contrary to a popular belief, that it BELONGS to US. Because yall, like it or NOT. EVERY single solitary thing, including TIME, has been given to JESUS.

Though the clock in heaven is different. Jesus showed me one time, that it always says twelve. Heavenly crews are on CONSTANT clean up duty. Because have you noticed, this world can be pretty dirty. Laughing…because is THAT not the understatement of the century?

The title of this BLOG came into process, in 2018. For those of you, who follow this NEVERENDING story… THAT was the year JESUS made me whole!!!! There was a promise made to me, in 2015. And that year, in July it was fulfilled.

Have you ever had promises fulfilled to you? Or, have you LIVED a life, full of so many broken promises? Because, for ME, this particular ONE, was and IS Key. Waiting for warmth… that was ME. In some ways, it switched. On July 12, 2018 the warmth came. And now, I am aware of the cold. Yet, it does not, SWAY me, as it once did!

YAY for that!!!! So grateful to God, for Grace to heal.

WE ALL have that available. IT is a BEAUTIFUL gift! Yet, who receives it with joy?!?!

I know, it has been an adjustment, HERE to wake up to Grace.

Many are still waiting for warmth. Our hearts go out to them. WE pray for them….often.

Yet, WE are NOT the Saviour. WE never EVER will BE….

When people make comments, like such and such is literally “Jesus” , often the meaning is… JESUS is the heart, of that person.

And should that NOT be the goal. TO surrender our STUFF, to JESUS? Because, I can PROMISE, that is when the REAL healing, begins.

There is so much to say, on this topic….

But for now, I will tell YOU….

That obeying right away, to JESUS leading… is a path to FREEDOM, never knowing that, at a young age. Yet, suspecting the truth. Turned down, everytime, that page of the book…of LIFE was opened. But GOD.

The song on… “What’s my age again” (Blink – 182) When I looked up, the number 182…in the bible. It had, and HAS very much significance to ME.

I encourage you, to seek about and find the wisdom. There is GRACE always to learn, grow and create… up to a point.

I feel today, the scripture, that keeps coming to ME, is

CREATE in ME (and US) a NEW heart (transformed, connected to HEAVEN, LIVING WHOLE)

and RENEW a RIGHT spirit in me. ( and ALL of US)

Psalm 51:!0

Love you all, and I will return, as I can.


Elea and Family

05 Mar 2020

NO MORE – Dark Heart

When I was a little girl, I LOVED the Care Bears. Like most children, I would look for things, that interested me. And helping others, was always of interest; still is. I remember thinking, hey THEY care. When…NO One else seemed to…

Have YOU ever felt like that? That NO ONE CARES?!?

For ME, this LIE was planted, very early.

I’m not sure, 100% what convinced me, to believe it. I just recall, that everytime, I spoke… NO ONE appeared to care.

Every single moment, I would SEARCH for care. I wanted to SHARE. Because, like the movie says, “SHARING IS CARING.”

What I would share, was often mocked or criticized. Often, it was dismissed.

So, THIS you would think, would STOP me, from trying to SHARE.

And sometimes, it DID temporarily…

It caused me, at age 14, to be so depressed. That began, and gradually got…so much worse.

I didn’t understand, that my life…in and of itself, was a reflection too.

It was a reflection, of the state of my heart.

And it was really fighting, wanting to CARE.

I began to say… “I don’t care. And, then… I had NO IDEA, how sad that made Jesus.



The MORE, I received, the REJECTION… the MORE depressed, I felt.

And when I tried to ask, for help… I was silenced.

How many times, does this happen? A child asks for a need, to be met. And, because it IS inconvenient, it gets ignored.

It causes, game playing, and silliness, like acting out. Because, there is a desire, for the need being met, that ignites the FIRE of FEAR.

I remember, as a child, I loved manipulation. Let me be clear, I was not trying to be evil, or even have a bad intent.

I simply, was TERRIFIED, my DEEP NEEDS, would NEVER be MET.

Can YOU relate to that?

Being afraid, that even GOD Himself, would not meet, your need.

I’m not talking about FOOD, Clothes, shelter.

Although, I have questioned that too…

What I AM speaking OF, is this…

Everywhere I searched, instead of CARE, I often found dark hearts. Hearts, that did not have, their needs met, and could NOT meet mine. Many of which, would NOT even try.

They said…. “YOU are TOO Much for ME. Or, YOU are NOT MY KIND of person. Or, one person… that is now with JESUS… said, “YOU NEED a LOT of LOVE.”

I am 43 years OLD, and every day, I live and breathe IS FULL of miracles. SO many reasons why. The number one being, that JESUS saved my LIFE. He SAVES it every single day.

Usually I listen to music, when I write. But today is a NEW YEAR, and I am doing something NEW. I am using NEW avenues. I am chasing Heavenly adventures.

I am CHOOSING JOY, a NEW. Last year was strange, in a lot of ways. There was a LOT of HAZE cleared out. And I saw HEAVEN deeply meet needs, that no ONE person ever could.

THIS year, I can stand and say…

THE ONE thing, that NEVER ever changed, with all of MY forest of feelings…

is JESUS. HIS LOVE for ME has been a CONSTANT.

I was taught, the ONLY thing constant is change. However, I believe MORE each day, the way, I first began. Before, I got discouraged, and depressed. I am not saying, I NEVER have BIG Feelings.

Sometimes, I have HUUUUUUUUGE feelings. I just do NOT allow those feelings, to CONSUME me.

Life is HARD, wonderful, beautiful, and even magical.

NOt necessarily….in THAT order.

But at 33, I was called in a new way. And just now, I am realizing, that was 10 years ago today…

And thank GOD for HIS Grace….

Even to receive…

I rejected, a lot more B4 I chose reception. The frequencies, for crossed LOTS. And man, was there much misunderstanding. BUT GOD.

I pray that as I, and WE share…

That JESUS bring Heaven…from there to here….and HERE to there. Smiles.

Sometimes, people won’t get it…and sometimes THEY will.

For the first time, in a LONG time… I do CARE.

I surrender, the yuck from the past. I TRUST God with it…

and, I know that there is REPAIR taking place.

In Jesus name.

I encourage YOU, to sit with JESUS. I encourage YOU to talk with HIM, and walk with HIM. Because, when the WORLD does NOT CARE, you can REST assured, that HE does.

I CARE about your heart.

I AM so SORRY it has BEEN torn apart.

Sending YOU LOVE today. I will NOT be afraid.




Choosing RAINBOW Instead.

Standing on the promise of LOVE.

As I rest my weary head.

Grace surrounds and abounds.

Mercy too.

For ME and YOU.


Eccelciastes 3:11 He will MAKE everything beautiful, in its TIME.

02 Jan 2020

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