Heavenly Fugue
This weekend, I watched a show called “Saving Hope.” It is the last season, and I kind of stumbled upon it one day. The episode this week, was called ” Doctor Robot.” There’s a few things significant, about it, to me. Most doctors, who train to be doctors, are about precision, control, and logic. It’s how their books are written. In the aforementioned episode, this man, who had lost a child, suddenly became funny. One of the doctors, had a gut feeling, that it might not just be a “normal” development.
This doctor, on the show, reminds me of my husband. Because, he has this ability to see so deeply, and yet is often afraid of the affects, of speaking about it. In the show, the man was informed, there was in fact something, wrong, and he needed immediate surgery, or he would die. At first, he said no. He was afraid, that the surgery would take away the “joy.” But the truth is, when it’s real, and not just an avoidance tactic, or something else; nothing can take away joy. He eventually complied, and the doctor helped him to see the truth.
Personally, I have made a commitment to God. That no matter what, even if I have no words, my heart will praise HIM. That everything I have, am given, and desire, is HIS alone. I don’t know how long, my days on earth will be. It’s hard for me to SEE that God has used me, to make a difference. Because, quite frankly, that vision is blurred. In complete truth, I just want the pain to end, the healing and mending to be finished. I want to be able to LIVE as intended. I don’t know for certain how, where or when that will Be. But, without a doubt, Jesus has never let me down. Not ever. Despite, how it seems or feels. His will, and way must happen, and what it takes to get there, is just tough to watch at times.
I’m so confused
I know I heard you loud and clear
So, I followed through
Somehow I ended up here
I don’t wanna think
I may never understand
That my broken heart is a part of your plan
When I try to pray
All I’ve got is hurt and these four words
Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Thy will be done
I know you’re good
But this don’t feel good right now
And I know you think
Of things I could never think about
It’s hard to count it all joy
Distracted by the noise
Just trying to make sense
Of all your promises
Sometimes I gotta stop
Remember that you’re God
And I am not
So
Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Like a child on my knees all that comes to me is
Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Thy will
I know you see me
I know you hear me, Lord
Your plans are for me
Goodness you have in store
I know you hear me
I know you see me, Lord
Your plans are for me
Good news you have in store
So, thy will be done
Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Like a child on my knees all that comes to me is
Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Thy will be done
I know you see me
I know you hear me, Lord
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3 When Judas, who had betrayed him, saw that Jesus was condemned, he was seized with remorse and returned the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and the elders. 4 “I have sinned,” he said, “for I have betrayed innocent blood.” “What is that to us?” they replied. “That’s your responsibility.”
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14 For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
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25 And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”
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12 So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.
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15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin.
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3 I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you.”
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23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,
In His Imminent Grace,
E