A Mother’s LOVE…A Father’s PROMISE
Any of you who have followed this blog, know that God wakes me up REALLY early. I started reflecting on THIS today. I thought about how, I always knew what did NOT please HIM, and what he viewed as bad. Now, do NOT get me wrong, I was and AM not perfect. As a kid I was often honory, harsh, easily offended, and things were often about me. Because I figured if I could figure out what my part was, God would help. Yes, it sounds odd, but it was my thought process.
In fact, it was the thought process of MOST of those around me, as well. BUT GOD. Again, I thought the next entry was going to be “Are you HOME?” Yet, here WE are, and I am called to speak on being a MOM. So, here we go…
I NEVER wanted to be a mom. Or did I? Overtime people would discuss it with me, I would think, “Nope I am NEVER having kids.” I was absolutely terrified of being a mom. Because in my mind, that meant I would be married, have responsibility, and that it would NO LONGER be about me. Oh my goodness! Yet, what I have learned and am learning, is it NEVER was.
I am reminded of my absolute favorite commercial. It is a State Farm commercial. Perhaps you have seen it. It begins with a man saying,” I am NEVER getting married,” then shows a marriage. Then He says, “I am NEVER moving to the suburbs.” Then He is living there. “WE are never having children,” the man says. Then, they have kids. Then, the last thing, is “I AM never letting go.” It is a beautiful commercial, that I believe shows us God’s LOVE.
He says, “I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU OR FORSAKE YOU.” So, that is something WE can rejoice because of. 🙂 It is cause for celebration, and merriment. HE does NOT fail us. He NEVER ever will, or can, as long as WE are receiving HIS LOVE. His LOVE is unconditional, but receiving it is a whole other ball game. 😉
SO, back to being a mom. I remember it becoming official. Just like it was yesterday, I remember being in the doctor’s office and hearing I was pregnant. I had such mixed emotions. It was a time of great wonder and expectation, and also great difficulty for me. I LOVED being pregnant. I mean I LOVED it. I have said b4, if God wants me having kids in my 70’s that would be HEAVEN to me. Because, in the pregnancy, I was so close to GOD. I mean, we were, pardon the expression, “Thick as thieves.”
Despite all the craziness of the circumstance, HIS LOVE conquered. God put me and my husband together during this time. In fact, WE got together when I was 1 month and a half pregnant. It was NOT easy for SO many reasons. BUT GOD. Every day, every moment of being pregnant, I experienced more of Heaven. It is so tough to put into words. But, the best way to describe it, is HEAVEN was within me, in a way that I finally could grasp.
I am purposely focusing on the JOY involved in these circumstances. Yet, I must interject that it did NOT always “feel” joyful. I battled with my health during the pregnancy. I mean, somebody did not want this gift to arrive. But, SHE beat the odds. JESUS beat the odds. The Heavenly FATHER beat the odds, and the HOLY spirit beat the odds. Sarah did arrive. Around 6:15 in the morning on December 27, 2005.
To date, she is the ONLY child that did beat the odds, that came through my womb in a natural manner. In a tangible way, she arrived, and OH what a day!!!!!! I remember the night before, I took a bath. I was NEVER told not to take one, when you suspect your water broke. So, I took one, and afterwards there was liquid coming out. It was not stopping. I was freaked out. Anyway, we went in to the hospital. I was checked and sent home. I mentioned I took a bath, but no one said a thing.
The next day, we went next door for brunch with our neighbors. I get a call on my cell phone. I answer and it is the hospital. The woman is VERY insistent. She says, get here NOW! I was calm, and said,” okay we will be right there.” So, I begin to understand as she explained it. They had somehow, by the GRACE of God, determined that my water broke the night before, and they needed to check me.
I remember wondering if it was a false alarm again. But, was not upset, and was trying to stay calm and focused. SO, my “boyfriend” and I head to the hospital. No contractions, nothing yet, just us driving there and getting prepared. We get there, they check me, determine my water had broken, and get started on their part. So, many hours later, still no contractions, and I was starving. So, I ate. They warned me I might throw it up. I did eventually.
AT some point, people came in to check me again. One doctor or nurse had to break forebags. They apparently are part of the area where the water breaks. Mine was leaking, but had not caused the flood that most normally have. Anyway, there was absolute chaos around me. BUT GOD. Oh how HE kept me, and kept her. It was so precious. Even now my eyes well with tears of gratefulness.
I also recall, when she began coming. God showed me how to alleviate the pain. I had surgery as a child and had rods put in my back. THIS worked to an advantage. I could rock back and forth and the pain was not nearly as intense. When she finally arrived, I remember she was quiet. That is, still they started poking at her and cleaning her mouth out. THEN she cried….and I laughed. I thought, “What a beautiful sound.” I wept with JOY.
I remember wanting more of THAT….more JOY. Essentially, I wanted MORE of Heaven. So, THUS officially birthed was the gift of being a mommy. I was so overwhelmed by the LOVE of the HEAVENLY FATHER. I held HIS promise, despite how it looked like she came to be. SHE was a gift, and still is. Every thought, memory, video, every second of her life, a gift.
This is my second mother’s day without “natural children with me.” It is surreal, and strange. I say, there are no natural ones, because the world sees that as those birthed through the womb on earth. One time someone spoke to me saying, “You will have some natural children, but also spiritual ones.” I knew that, but something about how it was said, just rubbed me the wrong way. I know now, it was because in my spirit, I knew that soon my ONLY natural child would go HOME. Not only that, but that I could NOT go with her for good.
A few days ago, someone posted the story of Mother’s day. I was fascinated to know that it began with the LOSS of a child. I mean, I was just in awe. Yet, today those who lose children are often seen as outcasts and problems. They skip over that part of life when they talk, if only to avoid conflict. But, I believe GOD is resurrecting the JOY of being a mommy. Not the overwhelming pressure, burden, stress, and other stuff. That stuff is dying. Because GOD wants the LOVE and hope as well as JOY to arise.
I LOVE being a mom. It is ONE of the greatest gifts I have ever received. Yet, it has also been and continues to be one of the toughest things I have ever experienced. It is funny how something can be not one thing, or another, but both. I LOVE being a MOM, yet at times I hated what it required. I thought about JESUS. I thought about HIS journey walking the earth. HE LOVES US now, and THEN. I know that at times He despised the requirements, but NEVER the people. Despising the evil that causes something to be a problem, is NEVER bad. It was okay that He did not always feel good. I am not saying He was sick. We know HE never was. But, look at HIS rebukes.
He was the FATHER to Fatherless, and the MOTHER to the motherless. Until Sarah and other children came into my life, I NEVER considered that. It was NOT tangible to me. He still IS ALL of these things. I see God in an interesting way. HE is my family. It consists of JESUS who is my brother, and the HEAVENLY FATHER, who is dad, as well as the HOLY SPIRIT, the nurturer. That is what moms are used to do, nurture. I am so glad that SARAH made it here.
THAT helps me to not be sad, and to stay focused on the GAIN. Yes, the LOSS happened, but also after the death; comes resurrection. I say THIS to share that when Sarah arrived, I was driven to serve God. I was NOT trying to strive, but I think I naturally did. I was driven, and in some ways hell bent on figuring out God’s plan. The LOVE of Jesus in Sarah taught me so much. Even now…a constant reminder that I must choose to BEND toward Heaven and NOT Hell exists.
I am so thankful that I still get to be a mom. I am beyond words excited about God making me a MOMMY again. Because, NOW I understand HIS promises. I knew them but I was somehow blocked from really seeing them. I LOVE our angel kids. I thank God for the one that He has still teaching me, and training me. WE learn from JESUS in each other. It is GLORIOUS. Yet, I must add it is NOT without challenges. ALL Good things, ALL Heavenly treasures, will have challenges to find. Yet, HIS hunt is worth it. HIS LOVE is worth it.
Seek first the KINGDOM of HEAVEN. Then, you shall see the JOY appear right before your very eyes. Choose HIS ways and surrender deeper. Do NOT try to make things so simple, that you MISS the secrets hidden in the tapestry of HIS word. It is a LOVE story. Indeed, it is EPIC from the most wonderful place.
Proverbs 31:25-30 ESV / 522 helpful votes
Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.” …
Proverbs 31:26-27 ESV / 392 helpful votes
She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Psalm 127:3 ESV / 153 helpful votes
Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.
Isaiah 49:15 ESV / 141 helpful votes
“Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you.
Proverbs 6:20 ESV / 111 helpful votes
My son, keep your father’s commandment, and forsake not your mother’s teaching.
Ephesians 6:2 ESV / 108 helpful votes
“Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise),
Proverbs 23:22-25 ESV / 86 helpful votes
Listen to your father who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old. Buy truth, and do not sell it; buy wisdom, instruction, and understanding. The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice; he who fathers a wise son will be glad in him. Let your father and mother be glad; let her who bore you rejoice.
Proverbs 22:6 ESV / 86 helpful votes
Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.
Isaiah 66:13 ESV / 82 helpful votes
As one whom his mother comforts, so I will comfort you; you shall be comforted in Jerusalem.
This article REALLY touched me today. I pray it touches all of you moms. That HE brings you Heaven in it, as He did me. THIS is how JESUS LOVES US…PERFECTLY.
CHOOSE this day to let JESUS remind you about WHY you get to be a mommy or a daddy. SUCH an honor, such a precious and awesome responsibility. TRAIN these kids in HIS ways and see HEAVEN with brand new eyes. YOU ARE SO LOVED. Lifting up the MOMS today and every day. Love you ALL.
In His Grace and GLORY,
E and Fam