PERseVerE ~ #EveryTeAR 💧 ❤️ 🌻🌸 🚆

  1. 10527370_10152605851838879_2057460581450348634_n12166887_10207993635856946_547456957_n13933360_10155100327842785_752944123_nfighting-parentslarge29caf0651dd94f57758d9befcb449fc8184414_10151642914512863_1045860989_nWhen the LORD awoke ME, knowing current conditions, today….I said “YES Lord.” Yet, my physical BODY wanted more SLEEP. Somedays, it SEEEMS so little to ME. But, as someone  love❤️ ❤️ ❤️ lovingly reminded me, “It TAKES what it TAKEs.” It definitely DOEs…do THAT. I asked HIM what to SPEAK on, today with written WORDS. And, one word CAME. SURRENDER. That WORD…oh MY. Has been a culprit, and connection to SO many lies, HERE. But, by HIS Grace, may THAT be NOW overturned. In Jesus NAME.  Love❤️ Everything is CONNECTED. Some days, I would LIKE that NOT to BE. But, it IS. It is a SIMPLE fact, and it does NOT have to SCARE ME. And it does not have to BRING fear 2 YOU, either. By HIS Grace, FREEDOM can come in it’s place. ~~~ ❤️

 

 

So, Act 2 SCENE 3, it seems…

 

 

“JUST BREATHE”, i hear my Jesus say. ~~~  The song ON – “I will RISE” (CTomlin) ❤️

 

 

“”I will RISE when HE calls MY NAME. No MORE SORROW, NO MORE PAIN.”” That lyric. WOW . Just that one. NOt to mention the WHOLE SONG. Manna HERE. NO need 4 trying to be perfect. JESUs knows, everything I naturally SEE as flaws. To HIM, that MAKES His design, MORE beautiful, at the CROSS. And by HIS Grace, ME too. ~~~~ ❤️

 

 

 

So, in THIS scene picture THIS… a child in her bed. Age 9. Sound asleep, and dreaming in peace. Then, in SUDDEN SHOCk, her Momma comes IN. The MOMMA is in a PANIC. Because, this CHILD’s ROOM has just been ASSAULTED. There were ROCKS thrown, through the WINDOWS. 2, at LEAST that I recall there. One, in at least another ROOM in the house. The MOMMA is completely FREAKING out. The husband, and Daddy trying to comfort her. But, NOT knowing what to say. And that CHILD, for a LOOOOOOOOng time, could NOT sleep peaceful, after that DAY. While this is happening, her brother, middle and his friend, were watching TV in the “play room.”  That room, was the ONE in the home, where FRIENDS, would come and fellowship. ~~~

 

 

Also, same NIGHT the mail box OUTSIDE, made of RUBBER then. To our surprise, after assesment, by AUTHORITIES….bashed IN. Yet, by God’s Grace, WE remained SAFE. ❤️  My middle brother again, in the scene, directed by my Momma was told to get a movie. Specifically, ONE for ME. I can ONLY imagine now, if HE had the thought, “her needs first again.” I pray and hope NOT. Only Heaven knows, for sure. I know I pray, for healing of wounds, that CAME from years of neglect and abuse. I say THAT in respect to MY life, and OTHERS 2. I ask forgiveness b4 God, about these times in LIFE. Because, NOW so much SEEMS lost. The TEARS, starting to FORM. I have to believe HE HAS what is LOST. Because, He is indeed, KING of the LOST and Found. ~~~~~ ❤️ ❤️

 

In Reflection, I am grateful, for the MOVIe. But, OH did THAT FILM, tell a lot that night. YET no one spoke of it. THEN. It was my FAVORITE, at that TIME. It was my SARAH Bear’s favorite. That was her Name here. One of MANY, from endearance and LOVE. I am grateful, for my brother… who stayed with ME, then. I was shaking like a LEAF. I was more frightened, of the FEAR, i saw on my mother’s FACE. The whole EVENT, did not shake me, NEARLY as much, as seeing HER distress. I cannot speak for my brother, on this topic. Nor, will I try. Perhaps, ONE day He will chime IN, In kind. I would welcome THAT. Just emphasis on the KIND, part needed. He has always shown me kindness. Even at TIMES, he did not understand, or had his own stuff going on. My brother’s heart, has always had  love❤️ LOVE for me. In some ways, true of them BOTH. I repent, and ask forgiveness, for NOT believing THAT long ago. ~~~

 

 

 

The song… ‘Once and for ALL’  – (Lauren Diagle) “Help me to LAY it down. Oh Lord, I lay it DOWn. Oh let THIS BE, where I die. My LORD with THEE, crucified. Be lifted HIGH, as MY KINGDOMS Fall. Once and for ALL. Once and for ALL.” This MUSIC — ALL music HAS so MUCH meaning, even MORE than b4. EVERYTHING does. People, places, things, mean A LOT. Let me be VERY clear HERE…they will NEVER mean more, no EVER than JESUS. Yet, thank God for the GRACE to appreciate the GIFTS . “EVERYGOOD and PERFECT GIFT, COMES from ABOVE.”  Yes That is in the LIFE BOOK. Address, not sure yet. But have learned, google is often a friend. 🙂 ~~~ ❤️

 

 

I want my Family, in particular my BRothers, to know. That is they ever had a NEED, no matter how small or BIG…. IF WE, could help, WE would. THAT is a promise. Because, you are SO LOVED. Love love❤️ I know, THAT as a sister, I have Royally MESSED up, A LOT. I truly PRAY that forgiveness will COME, in EVERY degree. LISTEN 2 MY HEART, I so want my FAMILY, NOT RIPPED apart. And, I forgive the HANDS, and mouths that have been, instruments to that MESS. But, please SEE the last paragraph, and crucifixtion of SELF. This is PART of that. Oh Heaven, hear the YELP. ~~~

 

It is LIKE animals, CAUGHT in a SNARE. All the while, often entertaining angels , unaware. That is what happens HERE on earth. This scene, this ACT. I am not the writer, director, of even greatest actor, or showperson. That TITLE is FAR greater than, I am. It belongs to the HOLY Lamb of God. And only HE can set captives FREE. I include myself in THIS too. He sets me FREE daily. And if I do NOT agree, I go RIGHT back into, OLD captivities. In a snap, that can happen to me. It could happen to ANYONE. The ONLY one it cannot happen to, is JESUS. Because Jesus never FELL. ~~~ ❤️

 

 

Back to the SCENE…this LIFE MOVIE. Wow.  As soon as the INVADERS left our HOME, it seemed the next TARGET was the school. It was the HIGHSCHOOL , my mother taught. She taught there for 35 Years. Actually, it would be 36 if you count the prep year, before official. Whoa, that is NEW today. “He makes ALL things NEW.” Indeed. They destroyed the CHOIR room and BAND room. And, they EVEN threw a PIANO, off the Stage in a theater. I believe it was the MAIN theater. They took spray paint and tagged walls, and just brought CHAOS. I do NOT recall if they were drinking, or involved with drugs. But, none of that would shock me. I’m not naming the NAMES of their family, or MINE, because discretion protects. Jesus is the director HERE, not I. Thank GOD for that. Lyrics on – ” Everyone needs compassion…the kindness of a SAVIOR.” (Mighty to Save” – Hillsong United )Yes, EVERYONE deserves Grace, LOVE and kindness. EVERYONE. Even those who TRIED to RUIN everything. THEY deserve it too. ~~~ ❤️

 

 

FADE into the NEXT day. I was exhausted, and trying to just breathe. My mom, trying to act like everything was FINE. Reminds me of another MOVIE. Um, it is called, “THe Prince of Tides.” I will come back to THAT though. The kid, the boy and leader of the pack then, came to see MOMma. She was Sooooooooo ANGRY. Yet, she was a God Fearing woman. She did the BEST she could, in that respect. He asked her, to forgive him. I heard her tell this story. Back then, to probably her BEST friend. My Momma said, ” NO!”  I overheard, and was like, What? You said No????!!!!???? I don’t understand. Yet again, I am told… “Katy, THIS is an ADULT conversation. YOU would NOT understand.” But, I DID understand, MORE than they KNEW. I kept thinking, “does he not deserve mercy?” ~~~

 

 

I was ANGRY, and not being able to BE HEARD. That clouded, a LOT in so many WAYS. But God. She never SAW me, CRY because I was rejected. I ALWAYS felt, I had to FIGHT for every words. Sometimes, from Momma’s mouth there were be a mock. Example, at dinner….I would try to be kind, show respect. And, instead of LOVE I got, ” It is TIME for KAty’s words.” Looking back, I forgive that, because there was, WAY more going on, than I knew ALL about. But, they refused to TELL me. And, THAT made me SHOUT and ROAR. Constant rejection, eventually opened that DOOR, to CUTTING and self HARM. No ones Fault or Blame. It is JUST how it went down. And everything that GOES down, by God’s Grace comes UP again. I pray it COMES up, in a healing WAY, 4 US ALL. ❤️ ~

 

 

WE cannot CHANGE the past. But, I would LOVE a fresh start. Especially with my BROTHERS. In some ways, there is NO Greater, desire of my HEART. In our own WAYS, WE have been RIPPED to SHREDS, TOO MANY times, too count. WE are better together. For some Reason, I rembeer, hearing THAT, as a kid. I watched a group last night, on AGT. It was a SISTEr and her Brother’s in a BAND. And, the most beautiful SONG too. Sadly, the Judges did NOT fully get it. But, Heaven will make ways for those 3. And I am believeing GOD, that HE will do that for ME 2. Because HIS Love does that, NO matter HOW it SEEMS. ~~~~~ ❤️

 

I truly do BELIEVE, that b4 my Momma left this earth, she chose to FORGIVE all THOSe involved that day. And despite attempts to DESTROY….I still officially CHOSE Jesus THAT year. Because not just ONE thing works, for those who LOVE God, but ALL things. The curtain closed, ON my LIFE here, for 5 minutes. But, that Curtain, OPENED UP again. Resurrection HAPPENED. It happens STILL. Every DAY new MIRACLES. Grace. Love. Mercy. Peace. Rest. Completeness. WHOLENESS. THIS is what HE promised THEn, and NOW. ~ But oh WOW, the JOURNEY along the WAY. ~~~ ❤️

 

 

  1. I pray for RESTORATION of OLd friendships, that fell by the wayside. I pray forgiveness BE FOREFRONT, as WE abide under the shadow, of the ALMIGHTY. By His Grace, may we NOT FEAR. By His Grace, may HIS LOVE conquer HERE. Help us, be STILL and KNOW, that you are GOD. Especially when others, think it is ODD. Have your way, mighty KING. We praise YOU. Help us PERSEVERE. Like ain’t always EASY here. Catch every TEAR that falls, and help us get up and RISE in your LOVE. We surrender ALL once and for ALL. ~ In Jesus name and BLOOD. Amen. ~~~~ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

 

 

 

In His Grace,

EGS

 

 

 

 

 

 

12 Sep 2018

DISGRAAaaaCE ~ No DEAL!!! 💼 ❤️ 🔕 😇 👐

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Deep Breath….. As This Begins ~~~ ❤️

 

 

There are SO MANY times, that stretching is REQUIRED in LIFE. And, IT stretches US, to GO deeper In God. Now, For Me personally, THAT is not as EASy as it would SEEM. At first, GOING there is WONDERFUL!!! It is full of, beautiful AROMAs, and LOVE and PEACE. No, wait THAT is Backwards. Because, my FRIENDS… it is NOT, what HAPPENED to ME. I am SHARING today, something, that I could NOT IMAGINE, putting ON This PAGE. But, I literally AHVE to do it. I HAVE to, do it. Yes, it is a REQUIREMENT, in the Healing process. That is so TRUE. But, it has been GRACE to keep it HELD back, for THIS LONG. Grace, in regards to SOOOOOOOOO Many LIVES. And, it is simply, TIME, HIS TIME to SPEAK. ~~~

 

 

 

May THIS be COVERED in LOVE ❤️ His

 

❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ 💐🌸💮🏵🌹🌳🌲🌱🌷🌼🌻🌺🐛🐌🐜🐝🐞🌹🏵🌲🌳🌱🏵💮🌸🌷🌼💐🌻🌺

 

 

UNLIKE, most ENTRIES…where I site MUSIC that is given to ENCOURAGE. It is in background, today. I can BARELY hear the words. TALK about WAY out of my COMFORT ZONE. Yet, my AMAZING blanket of comfort, is HERE with ME. Love❤️ He NEVER leaves my 💞 HEART . ~~~

 

So, BEAR with ME, as I RECALL and begin to SHARE, the MANY ways of temporary ….TORN APART and ASUNDER. I will SHARE LOTS of the TWISTS and the TURNS. It will SEEM, like a movie script. Somedays, I so WANT a different ROLE. I look Up, crying, ” I DID NOT, SIGN UP 4 THIS!” But God. He is faithful Still. Tears. Laying down the FEARS. Grace Grace. Laying down the MANY Betrays. Grace Grace.

 

 

 

 

From a VERY early Age, I was Molested. It does NOT matter who it was. Because, I blame them NOT. My prayer, has been FOR a long time, for HEALING for them, and anyone afffected, by THAT choice, in that LIFE. Forgiveness, is ESSENTIAL, just for SURVIVAL. This, I must, EMPHASIZE. ~

 

Yet, sometimes, when THINGS are done, towards US, I look UP and just say…. “I can’t.” Not…I can’t forgive. JUst, a please and a cry to JESUS, that it MUST be HE, that does it, EVEN through ME. Because, EVEN if I am Equipped, I’m just NOT able to FEEL it yet. I pray that makes sense. ~~~ Sometimes , THE pain just CUTS so DEEP . Only He can protect, ONE from bleeding OUT. His ❤️ Love, a guard 💂 in and of itself.  ~

 

 

 

 

I have been so BEATEN with WORDS. Even THAT word, (molested) has SO MUCH in it. If you break it down, it says MOL – like a MOLE ( someone who is captive or a spy ) Less – Oh MY, DID I feel LESS THAN, for a LONG time. Here i am 42, next ➡️ month.  That, less than, in the equation, STILL… Takes JESUS,  2 stop.  ⛔ And the last part is interesting, because there is SOMETHING called TED talks, ( referring to molested)  and they are ALL about knowledge of GOOD and Evil. Essesntially, they are a place to TALK about the world, and ideas in it.

 

 

There have been some fascinating TALKS. Even today, By God’s Grace, one of my FAVORITE talk shows, is “THE TALK.” God has brought REDEMPTION, JOY even, in this place, and with THESE amazing gifts, and tools, mentioned above. He still IS, every SINGLE day, in SOME way. WE pray for the people and their families. Because, EVERYONE deserves Jesus’s LOVE. ~ ❤️

 

 

 

 

 

HURTING people, HURT people. That is a FACT. It sounds cliche. But, IT is TRUTH. Most people, unless completely given OVER 2 Evil, do NOT mean to. And when I had THIS TRAUMA happen, in MY LIFE. It began, to CREATE so MUCH STRIFE. And I was speaking to someone yesterday, on THIS. They said, ” But you were so little.” Tears. That is soooooooooooooo TRUE.

 

 

Yet, for SO LONG, I believed it WAS my FAULT. And, that does NOT make SENSE, at ALL. But, it is TRUE. I suspect, OTHERS in my BLOODLINE biological….encountered similar monsters. Perhaps, EVEN the same. Yet, NONE will speak, of these THINGS. And, I wanted to TALK, I wanted to be FREE of THIS. Even as a CHILD. TEARS….. THIS is so HARD.

 

 

 

 

JESUS protected MY Sarah butterfly ANGEL, SO MANY times….FROM this HORRID danger. She saw the Monster, but it NEVER attached.  In fact, because of THAT ,at a conference once, Jesus used her, to heal, a child, her age.  ❤️  I am So beyond WORDS Grateful, she NEVER experienced IT, LIKE ME. That HE USED her, to REWRITE History.

 

 

 

In SO MANY WAYs, that is TRUE. But, was it an EASY thing for HER to Do? No!!!!! I marvelled EVERY single DAY, at JESUS in her. I would say, ” I WANT that.” Never from a place of jealous of OVERZEALOUS. At least, not with that intention or purpose. Jesus 4give, if it WAS ever present. Thank HEAVEn’s you ALWAYS SEE and KNOW MY heart. Love❤️ He LOOKS upon our Hearts, beloved ONES. I would WATCH her interaction with GOD. I would SEE HIM fill her UP! The DEPTH of LOVE and FAITH within, and what SHE went without…JUST AMAZED ME. Tears. IT STILL does, EVENTHOUGH VERY different NOW. ~~~~~~ 💔 ❤️

 

 

 

 

This RIVER of TEARS…I often WONDER, will it EVER run DRY. Yet, HIS LOVE is HERE, with EVERY TEAR I cry. As Katy, I just hated myself. I JUST wanted to be ME. And, yet EVERYWHERE I looked there seemed no lasting treasure. I was SEARCHING for Jesus, even then. I tried to relate to others. But, this THING that happened, caused DARKNEss to CREEP in, and around. And, it was NOT just ONE thing, or that one moment…IT was LOTS of little moments, that added UP to, this seemingly EVIL equation. The opposite, of EVIL, is LIVE. And, I just could NOT. No matter how I tried. Something was trying, to TAKE my LIFE. And I did NOT know why. And when I asked, I was told, ” You are TOO YOUNG to understand.” To be REALLY raw, That made me MAD. I mean, REALLy MAD!!!!! 😡  I was not EVEN given a chance to TRY. 😭

 

 

 

 

My Parents, biological, God bless them. Now, in HEAVEn, are THEY…and I am so GLAD. They are SAFE there, and LOVE  love❤️ REMAINs, STEADFAST. But, they began giving me THINGS. Perhaps, it was to distract ME. And, I got one thing, then 2, then 3, then 4. Then….next THING you know it, I APPEAR to have EVERYTHING I want. And, guess what…THOSe things…did NOTHING for me longterm. #temporaryjoy.

 

 

 

I remember trying to share them, with others, but yeah…that did not always work. Because, when others are jealous, of things, and wrapped in HURT, they do NOT want what YOU have. And they did NOT. It seemed NO one wanted me. My Mother loved me, YET she would get SO ANGRY. I mean, her ANGER would TERRIFY ME….And I, did not understand THEN, the DEPTH of THAT. Grace. But GOD.

 

 

Somehow, with Momma, HE always brought forgiveness. And, SHE fought for me, and my brothers too. She did the BEST she could, with what she knew. THEY both did. WE ALL did. ~~~ ❤️

 

People COME into our LIVES, for REASONs….SEASONS…LIFETIMES. Yet, it FEELs…like SO few…STAY for the LIFETIME. Sarah so DESIRED brothers and sisters. SO, we fostered for a bit. It was in some ways, a BEAUTIFUL thing. In others, it was something, we had to ALWAYS take to the CROSS>>> . In the end, it FELT like, we LOST a battle. Yet, WE have such COMFORT, in KNOWING Jesus wins… 🏆 And, has WON the WAR. We are NOT holding onto offenses. WE ARE , by HIS Grace…on purpose ASKING HIM, to help US continually FORGIVE each accusation, curse, and just YUCK. Some, of it, ended up in print. And, WE are grateful that HE handled it. Because WE are natural detectives. And, WE wanted to FIX it. But, we kept saying, have YOUR way, and HE kept the BAD at BAY. He still does, NO MATTER how it MAY seem. He is the AUTHOUR of our dreams. ❤️

 

 

 

Our prayer has ALWAYS been, that injustices, that SEEMED to happen towards US, be redeemed, for the SAKE of Jesus. And, that THIS Redemption, MULTIPLY to the BODy of CHRIST. Because, so MANY are hurting. JESUS is in ANGUISH for and WITH the broken. He hurts, when the wounded, pick up weapons, and use them AGAINST each other. His heart breaks, and aches, because He knows, there IS a better way. The faint sound. ” Be BORN in ME” Tears. The LAST song WE sang together. TEARS. Oh, this STORM to weather. My LOVE, by ❤️  Jesus LOVE, said to me recent, ” I miss the sun.” He was talking about this season, how much RAIN we have gotten. Me, I am saying, the RAIn is GOOD. It is so DESPERATELY needed. But HE, was sharing feeling different. David and I, in some WAYS, different as NIGHT and DAY. Yet one thing those 2 have in COMMON. JESUS. ~ ❤️

 

 

I had a DEAR sis, say …. ” YOU think YOU GUYS, are THAT different. I don’t SEE it.” I had to take that to GOD. Because, I thought…Maybe I am missing something. And then, I remembered THIS…DIFFERENT but SAME. WE have BOTH had DISGRACE.

 

 

I think, one of the fun memories, as a kid is with my granny. She LOVED game shows. 🙂 I cannot remember, if “Deal or NO DEAL” was on then. But, perhaps something like it WAS. I know she LOVED Jeopardy, and WHEEL of Fortune. I sometimes, would WATCH. Othertimes, I would crawl on her bed, or the bed in the other room, and go to sleep. Sleep was where God helped me. It was my ESCAPE. In some ways, a safe place. I slept A LOT. Yet, I was always tired. ( Did not know officially, about spirit WAR then)

 

 

I remember as a KID, my MOM called me katydid, like the bug. I NEVER liked that nickname. I did NOT think of it, or SEE it as endearing. I much prefered, when she called me other things. For some REASON, and I think it goes back to that experience, I associated, the NAME KATY with blame. I would always defend, saying…”It is NOT My fault.” Many would LIE and say it WAS. Sometimes, i did things wrong too. But, I would ALWAYS confess. Because, I was NOT then, nor NOW am I great with BAD secrets. I’m not saying I cannot be trusted.  By God’s GRACE alone, I CAN. The secrets, I could not KEEP were my own. Now, OTHERS…they told ME everything. MANY still confide in me. By God’s Grace, I am honored, for the confidence, of Jesus in ME most. Lord knows, the wisdom GIVEN, is NOT my own. Even MY desire to HELP others BE FREE, comes from HE. ~~~~ His LOVE . ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

 

 

 

I went through MUCH depression…FROM a VERY early age. Age 8, first counselor I saw. It did not last long. I just remember, a female. Maybe, a friend of my parents, THEN. That was AFTER the TOUNGE cutting incident. (age 7.5) People said, I made a covenant with Death. But, I did NOT. Because, JESUS took DEATH and conquered it ON the CROSS. The NEXT time, I saw a doctor for THAT, was age 14 1/2. I was dating someone then. And, it was NOT exactly going well. From my first KISS with a boy, it was just utter Hell. And, I kept searching for HEAVEN. I looked in the church. Grace the cornerstone there, literal. In the building, it LIES. I did not KNOW, why I felt disconnected, from  MY KING. Sadness just hit me, EVERYDAY. I longed for help, and a path I could know.

 

 

And the counselors and doctors, just gave me PILLS. They LOOKED at me, and saw symptoms, THEN. I tried, to say, these pills, are not helping, as you SAY. But, you SEE they kept me quieter, calmer, and for those around me, I APPEARED all BETTER. But, I was so FAR from IT. Deeper and DEEPER, I would FALL, into the RABBIT HOLE. This PIT of DESPAIR and DESTRUCTION. PAIN that I just COULD NOT EXPLAIN. TORMENT, TORTURE and no other word, at that time, but SHEOL. Some say HELL. It was HORRIBLE. People who KNEW me then….and KNOW me now… still are in SHOCK at the miracles. I stand in AWE and shock and WONDER TOO! Because, so MANY nights, I CRIED…SHRIEKED, was BEATEN with CHAINs, and occasionally things would show up in DREAMS. I did not know, you could have visions, then. But, I am sure, I did. Some, brought on by medication. But, what was MEANT to HARM me, my GOD used for MY GOOD. GREAT GRACE!!!!! ❤️

 

 

It was that SAME age…14 1/2, i picked up the same color razor, and began to CUT again. I had NO idea, WHAT that would do. I just heard a voice, saying, “THIS will help you.” It was a LIE. Of course it was. It appeared to HELP, but ONLY brought MORE destruct. AND, it became ANOTHER addiction. FOR 10 YEARS, I CUT. It would be YEARS later, that I would see JESUS, by my bedside. HE was CRYING, TEARS of BLOOD. For ME…and for YOU. WE MATTER THAT MUCH! THE CHILDREN MATTER to the KINGDOM of HEAVEN!!!!!

 

 

 

NOW, I know, that there was intercession happening, back then. I prayed for many. I would PRAY for friends, family, strangers. I had NO IDEA, what that MEANT. I would just say, Lord help them. People at the CHURCH, would say get in the WORD. I tried too. Oh MAN, did I try. Every single time, I opened, my BIBLE and read a verse, it was like a BOMB went OFF. BAD things, started happening. And, I was like…WAIT this is supposed to HELP ME. But, it was NOT a comfort, it was NOT a refuge. it was NOT a place of strength or HOPE. NOPE. It was a place or PRISON and just TORMENT for me…THEN. It was not, a friend. ANd, I did NOT understand. I said, I was sorry, I tried to stop. But no matter what, this cycle, SEEMED to keep SPINNING. And, yeah it sure LOOKED like the enemies WERE winning.

 

 

 

And the WORST part, was EVERYONE around ME, thought MY LIFE was FREAKING perfect. In the MOVIE Titanic, the main CHARACTER, “ROSE” says a very specific LINE. She says, “All the while I’m standing in the middle of the ROOM, and NO one EVEN looks UP.” I will NEVER forget that film, I have lived so MUCH of it. AND, I will never forget the day, I saw it, and each person, that was there.

 

#specialmemoriesnoteasytorecall

 

 

Love is what HAS to come FIRST. LOVE. Love❤️ ABOVE ALL. I know that NOW. Then, oh I was a mESSED up kid. And LIFE just got MESSIER every SINGLE day. Yet God would bring HIS Grace. And somehow, TIME would KEEP passing. Cleanups, would happen here and there. I sat in MANY different doctors offices over the years. By God’s GRACE, prayers for ALL those families. Half the time, it was tough, to stay awake. The BOOK knowledge, they tried to FEED ME, was a LOT. Just like the TED talks. Man, I was a sponge too. It would cause me to want to READ. I was a voracious reader, back then. Slowly, I am starting to READ again. My Sarah Butterfly angel baby, going into Grace 3, had grade 8 skills to READ. She had just WON a trophy, right before she went HOME. Oh so MUCH to that….

 

 

Sometimes, SLEEP is a luxury, I cannot AFFORD. But, REST I will take EVERYTIME. Because, in the REST, we RESIST EVIL STAND THANKFUL. and there is a RESET. ~~~~ THERE is PEACE RESTORED THERE. HEALING in HIS WINGS. NO Rules, and Regulations. Just HIS LOVE. It is the ONE place, that is JUST beauty, GRACE, and Mercy. There were MANY awards, I won as a child. I would get SO excited, and come home to share…. yet NO ONE seemed to care much about the JOY. I was not wanting to be prideful, or make things about ME. That has NEVER been, nor will EVER be my heart. Yet, LIES were spread then and NOW to the contrary. THAT tears JESUS apart. For THAT matter, when THAT happens to ANY of His children, it TEARS at HIS heart. His LOVE. 💗

 

 

 

I have to DAILY forgive MYSELF too. I have made some AWFUL choices. Yet, because of God’s GRACE, I can take the DEAL of HIS LOVE, and say NO DEAL!!!! to DISGRACE. For, I’d rather have GRACE. Wouldn’t YOU? I HAVE to forgive GOD too. Not because He is EVER wrong. But, because HIS will and PLAN, is OFTEN so HARD on MY HEART. I forgive Sarah, because she asked me to. She knew, it would be needed. I FORGIVE anyone ELSE involved too. It has been almost 5 years. Yet, THIS PAIN, WOW. I rarely speak on, HOW much it physically HURTS, at times. I dare NOT complain. Grace Grace. But, it came to me, just this EARLY hour. ~~~~ Apostle PAUL. “I will BOAST of MY weaknesses” He goes onto say…” For the GLORY of GOD” ❤️

 

 

WE USED to be… BOUND by religion. But people came IN and LOVED on Me, and US.  It happened to me first. Henrietta.  Angel 😇  Now, WE GET to do that too. We can LOVE ❤️. It is an HONOR, and a privilidge. It is NOT a HAVE to. I mean, it is, a have to, but in a WAY of  tribute.  Not prison. This gift, WE do NOT take LIGHTLY. For, it is a TREASURE. His LOVE cannot be MEASURED. LOVE. JESUS. PEACE. Hope. ARRIVES. ~~~~ in ALL THINGS…and PLANS. ~

❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

I will CLOSE this ENTRY by saying, I do my BEST… as does my David LOVE to get — OUT of the WAy so GOD can BRING HIS LOVE through. May HIS LOVE  love❤️ conquer, for YOU. It conquers, HERE daily. WE are LIVING proof!!!! By HIS Grace, if YOU have chosen HIS Love, YOU are 2. ~~~ May the LORD bless you and KEEP you, THIS DAY, and HEAL your brokenhearts, in HIS ways. May His countenance SHINE on your hOMes, and FAMILIES, and bring, what you NEED forth. Jesus, WE give you our repentant hearts. Heavenly Father thank you for being our JUDGE, and bringing RIGHTEOUSNESS forth, as promised. The Giants in THIS land will FALL, by YOUR GRACE. Holy Spirit, thank you for your NURTURING, wind, and rain. There is HEALING, and JOY in the midst of the grieving and pain. WE LOVE you, and praise YOU, in Jesus name. By His blood, AMEN. ~~~

In Better HANds are WE… by HIS Grace. ~~~~

His Warrior Child ~

E

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That was then. This is NOW. ~~~~ HOLY COW ~~~ as that phrase goes…. Because WOW. I often look up, saying…” WHat happens NOW, or NEXT?” SOmetimes, I do NOT Get an answer, that day. Because, GOD is merciful. Oh, so thankful, HIS ways, are not OUR ways, or the HIGHWAYS we would naturally take.

 

 

11 Sep 2018

#50 JuBUilEE 4 ~ Me FREE ~ love❤️ 🎉 🎉 🎉

10356327_797736560298840_800842292463146719_n612wpFrT0WL._SX258_BO1,204,203,200_10906241_603447309799087_6353916573394658360_noriginal12717331_10154565145562785_6794794654758014875_nWell, I did NOT know I was going to be writing THIS MORNING. At least, NOT, for CERTAIN until I got up, and HIS ❤️  LOVE stirred. THAT is what HAPPENS with ME. But, might, I just TAKE a moment, ONCE again, to SAY, LIVINg this way…NOT ALWAYS EASY. Beautiful…YES. Wonderful…BY HIS GRACE. Full of BLessings, that HE can ONLY bring. But, oh MY the TESTS. SOmetimes, the TEST, will FEEL like, they LEAVE you in a MESS.  To be REALLY, frank… You may feel just ⛵ Shipwrecked, at Times.

 

 

I have to so…BREATHE, as I TYPE that. Because, there is INTERCEDE going ON. TEARS just FALL, some FROM my OWN aches, but NOT ALWAYS. AND, daily it TAKES, a process… SURRENDER, of ALL. Because, SOMETIMES things, appear to GET stolen, or taken. AND, WE appear to BE forsaken. BUt, I refuse to BELIEVe the LIEs, that MY GOD, is NOT Victorious. Or, that He would EVER, LEAVE us ALONE, or let US BE , swallowed UP by the DARK. NO!!!!! HIS ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️  LOVE is GREATER! THis is the TRUTH, in WHICH WE CAN STAND. Yet, it is the TRUTH, that Ignites, our  heart💞 HEARt too. You See?

 

 

 

So, to EXPLAIn , the TITLE this DAY. 50 is JUBILEE in the LIFE BOOK. ( the Bible ) It’s meaning THERE. So, it IS, the MEANING Here 2. 🙂 ❤️   Then, 4 is CREATIVE MIRACLES. I am ONE of THOSE, and SO are YOU!!! Then, “ME FREE” That is not just about MY FREEDOM. But, it is about, yours too. It is about, ALL of our FREEDOM.   I was HEARING, the cries, of children today. And, I am a CHILD 2. YES, I am technical, by age, an adult. Even Spiritually, no clue the AGE official, but it does NOT always FEEL young. That one, I believe can change, as WE walk with JESUS. AND that, is beautiful. Yet, I believe, that it is SAFE…to COMe to HIM as a child. Because, it is IN THAT place ….WHERE WE are HEALED. ~ It is WHAT I DID, and DO. ~ We are Held there.  ❤️

 

 

 

I NEED to be VERY transparent, and SAY, “It is super EASY for ME to fall back into OLD patterns” It takes JESUS to STOP me! I used to be horrible, about beating myself UP, I mean awful…. AND He showed me, I could NOT do THAT! Because HE created Me, with the HEavenly FATher, and Holy Spirit. Meaning, WE ALL were CREATED…in the IMAGE of GOD. And, HERE I was ripping myself to SHREDS. ME….NOT others. ME. I repented. I do again today. Because, yesterday…some challenges CAME. Yet, God’s faithfulness REMAINS. But, I had trouble, holding FAST, and laying myself down. Because, I am still QUITE broken. I say that not in justify. It is simple…TRUTH.

 

 

And, there is SUCH DEEP…HEALING happening. Yet, in the midst of THAT, it is required, to STILL tell the STORY. We have not REALLY stopped, and the STORY, not easy to SPEAK. But, by HIS Grace, the SEEDS of LOVE, go FORTH. And He continues, to bring Heaven.  😇  And, WE see more miracles, each DAY.  It is beautiful ,by the way.  ❤️ By, His Grace…. ~~~~~

 

 

 

Despite the ARROWs that FLY, and the other YUCK. WE PRAISE HIM!!! He is STILL WORTHY!!! The SONG Lyric ” CHAINS BE BROKEN LIVES BE HEALED. EYES BE OPENED. CHRIST IS REVEALED.” ( You’ll Come- Hillsong United)  By HIS Grace, I sang THIS on Worship Team, YEARS ago. More to the POINT, JESUS used ME to SING it. 🙂 Plus, the FIRST time, I heard it, I will NEVER forget. WE, were at a JOYCE MEYER conference. Darlene CZECH, was leading worship…and WOW did HEAVEN show UP! It was the FIRST time, I EVER got HIT that hard with HEAVEN. 🙂 BEAUTIFUL! I might add, WE were fasting, because WE was told to do that. AND, IT was in 2009, when SARah was first diagnosed, and HEALED. IT was the first TIME, JESUS used her in the HOSPITAL, to LOVE on DOCTORS, nurses, and KIDS. 🙂 THERE is JOy in THAT NOW! But, I admit, I LAY down the sorrow, I FEEL for the MANY others, enduring. YOU know, who you are, and JESUS, sees your HEART. My tears FALL, with HIS.❤️ 💔 ❤️

 

 

 

The next SONG – ” ONCE and FOR ALL” – (Lauren DIAGLE) ~~~~ lyric   ~~~ “LET THIS B E. WHERE I DIE, MY LORD WITH THEE CRUCIFIED> BE LIFTED HIGH, AS MY KIGDOMs FALL. ONCE AND FOR ALL.” Tears…and more TEARS…. As HE REMINDS ME… MORE SURRENDER, BEAUTIFUL ONE. ~~~ ❤️ breaking 💔

 

 

As I sit here TYPING… thinking about this SCENE in a movie. You MIGHT have SCENE it. It is the MOVIE, “You HAVE got MAIL.” I was just speaking about it recent. Wow, the song now… “”YOU ARE MY HIDING PLACE.”” ANYWAY, this SCENE in the FILM, she has just LOST everything. TEARS. And, as she is LETTING it Go, and even before, it becomes official, she is remembering her MOTHER. And the line is, ” MISSING my MOTHER so MUCH, I ALMOST COULD not BREATHE.” And, in so MANY ways, THAT is how I feel about my SARah’s united. It TAKES JESUS, to REMIND me. To UNBIND ME, to FREE ME. to LOVE ME. to HEAL ME. To COMFORT ME. ❤️

 

 

 

 

I am A LOT, like MEG Ryan’s Character. I TOOK the WRONG path A LOT. And YET God’s GRACE covered ME, in WAYS that, I just MARVEL at NOW. In the FILM, she makes a friend, and later that friend , is an adversary…and THROUGH forgiveness, becomes her LOVE. Ignoring, the MANY twists, and turns, in the plot, the STORY of LOVE is BEAUTIFUL. Because, THIS is HOW God’s LOVE is. We make a friend. It does NOT always FEEEL like, OUR FRIEND is FOR US. Right? And LAST…by God’s GRACE we can FALL in LOVE with JESUS. And, THERE is NOTHING like that. Because, when YOU have THAT…then YOU have a better MARRIAGE. You EVENTUALLy, will have more stable children, and HOME LIFE, and career, by God’s Grace. We can TESTIFY to THIS. ~ ❤️

 

 

 

 

But, I admit…. I OFTEN am when faced, with adversity, struggling a bit…to give GRACE to MYSELF. I know, JESUS in ME, must be honored FIRST. Yet, I battle in that place of receiving the GRACE first for ME. Becuase, I was taught it was SELFISH. Father, help me NOT believe that LIE. Help ME KNOW your TRUTH, that your LOVE, is different, and your WAYS are DIFFERENT. That BECAUSE, of your LOVE, you will REVERSE every CURSE attempt. THank you. WE LOVE YOU and PRAISE YOU!!!! In JESUS NAME ~~~~~ ❤️

 

 

 

 

MAY MORE CAPTIVES BE SET —- FREE ___ by —- YOUR ““`LOVE!!!!!! ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

 

 

 

 

THANK GOF (God our FATHER in HEAVEN) for the GRace, to sometimes GET Things WRONG. Wrong is NOT the song of Jesus. But people, WE can err. What is the phrase? To err is Human, and to Forgive is Divine. YES. SMiles. 😊 ❤️

 

 

 

 

 

 

And YET, yesterday,,, WHEN a PERPLEXITY arose, I found myself….crying OUT. “What ELSE could you TAKE?” And you SEE, THAT is NOT like ME, NOT at ALL. And YET, maybe it WAS HIDDEn AWAY, and HE wants MORE FREEDOM, to COME THIS day. FOR, I do NOt…want PRIDE, or arrogant or BOAST. I only want HIS HEART, and HIS PLAN<<<<and HIS LOVE>>>>>. HIS JOURNEY. I have ended up…ON a GURNEY b4, TRYING to do THINGS, on MY OWN. Forgive ME LORD. I did NOT get angry, in the same way, as my LOVE husband. But, it SEEMS there were some unresolved FEELINGS< mine or others, I know not. ALL i KNOW, is JESUS NEEDS a CLEAN slate. And, I repent, for eating from a table, that gives me tummy aches.

 

 

 

 

I PRAY He Bless this ground…writing and otherwise. I pray HE take every irriation, meant for demise…EVERY desire for perfection…that WE may HAVE and through HIS LOVE burn away the YUCK of this WORLD. HE LOVES His KIDS. He will fight for ME, and YOU. Yes, We fall short sometimes. BUt, HE will SEE us through. Sometimes, WE will feel frustration, or irritation 2, but by HIS GRACE, that CAN be removed. YES, it can sir and Madame. His LOVE, will kick the CAN of the BAD!!!! It just will!!! The SONG : “GIVE ME JESUS.” (Fernado Ortega)

 

 

 

 

THIS says SO MUCH. It says , it ALL….

We are visiting a place, a wonderful place of GRACE…and LAST night, there was a lesson on LOVING JESUS. Just beautiful. Heaven dripping in the place, like honey. Then, afterwards, we went to DINNER, adn, HE LOVED on us EVEN more. HIS LOVE amazes ME. I CHOOSE to check YES, for JESUS. Thank you Holy Spirit for Nurturing our hearts.  Thank you Heavenly Father, for being our FULL, authority.  WE choose HISWAYS. The ways of JESUs.  JOY, not SORROW will CONQUER. Lord, comfort those mourning, fill them with JOY. STrengthen them EACH, for the tasks at HAND. Give them ALL your RESTS. Reset, with YOUR LOVE. ONLY you CAN. YOU are SOOOO Goood. Thank you, for LOVING, and doing WHAT YOU do. Protecting, GUARDING, and connecting , fighting for us too. WE are ALL grateful. By your GRACE, WE will survive, THRIVE, hEAL, and others will SEE, TASTE, FEEL and EXPERIENCE your LOVE. THey will be CLOTHED in it JESUS, by YOUR GRACE. ~ IN JESUS NAME and BLOOD. ~ Give us REPENTANT HEARTS. quick to FORGIVE, ourselves, and Anyone Else, Even you Lord. Oh, that can BE so Hard. It is what ONLY You can do. In Jesus NAME, Have your way. Fulfill EVERY single NEED. ~ SO be it ~ It is Finished, by your Grace, LOVE, Mercy and HOPE. Amen ~ ❤️

 

 

 

 

I just want to say, THANK YOU to JESUS for ALL who, have GRACED our LIVES. Those who have meant to HARM, those who have SINCERELY LOVED. Each ONE, a PART of THIS JOURNEY, MATTERS to US, and MATTERS to GOD MOST. We are determinded to LOVE. By HIS GRACE, WE choose to BLESS and NOT CURSE. In JESUS name. We LOVE you ALL with LOVE that is tough, to put to WORDS. Yet, HE LOVES you MOST of ALL!!!!!

 

 

 

 

CLosing SONG ~~~~

“I WILL RISE”  ~~~ I listend to MY LOVE David sing this~~~ Just the other day 🙂 MUSIC to my EARS (Chris Tomlin wrote the LYRICS)     “I WILL RISE WHEN HE CALLS MY NAME. NO MORE SORROW.NO MORE PAIN.”

#HEAVENSPEAKSBEAUTIFULLYANDBRINGSPEACE

In His GRACE,

Elea

10 Sep 2018

A Freight-train of FAITH ~ 🏆❤️ 🎯🏅🏁

551976_356879881087543_1016047998_n19693_491506860886978_1220456359_n11702785_10200801803564457_8496415044547532650_n10409591_555950121178295_2491996567656324842_nthankyouDivine-Intervention-Wordle1459750_1000080833353916_2915999975910128314_n10551057_10153035975977785_1329849181222001721_n08154f27097b4bd8e2015d15d9717ea210392289_10202777217343969_1020048498025419797_nshutterstock_93326353When I WOKE UP today, I FELT like saying, “GOOD MORNING…VIETNAM!” I Hope that Made YOU Laugh. 🙂 love❤️ I say This, Partialially because, it is um 4 something in the morning. PART, TRIBUTE, to the AMAZING actor, Robin Williams. And, also, Because, When I SIT with JESus, WELL , I AM just IN ANOTHER COUNTRY. Yet, STILL in THIS ONE too. 🙂 THE AWESOME WONDER, of GOD and HIS ❤️  LOVE. Tears. Beauty. Surrender,  of ALL FEARS. Human FRAILTIES.

 

 

 

THE SONG… ” YOU SAY” ( Lauren DAIGLE) “YOU SAY,  I AM LOVED, WHEN I CAN”T FEEL A THING…You say I am Strong, When I think I am WEAK. ” Yes Oh, HOW… THese… words register, with ME right now… because CERTain FEARS, have been, TRYINg so HARD, to GET the BEST of ME. And there,  is a SItuation/Circumstance,  THAT at face VALUE…  looks just AWFUL. To be honest, a FEW. It TAKES complete FAITH, in JESUS alone. And, in that, WE often, FEEL, ALONE. ~~~ 💔 😭

 

 

 

In the MIDST of these TIMES and SPACES, there is BEAUTIFUL, intimacy with the LORD. ❤️  THAT is simply PRECIOUS. Yet, WE long, to SHARE this, with OTHERS too. And, PRAY that ONE day, that CAN BE. HE knows, what the DESIRES, of our HEARTS are. And WE TRUST HIM, to KEEP the HOME FIRES, BURNING. Oh, BY HIS GRace, Are WE LEARNING.

 

 

 

There are these VERY simple PRINCIPLES…WE have been GIVEN… on the FREIGHT TRAIn of FAITH 🙂

 

 

  1. CHOOSE JESUS FIRST – HIS LOVE will NOT FAIL YOU
  2. Surrender Everything to Him – This is Not an easy Process. Begin by asking HIM everything  that has been a problem, or seeming to hinder you, from moving forward. Ultimately, what is sticking around, that should not be- to simplify it. ( Keep it Simple sweetheart — Leave it with a KISS 🙂 )

3.   Repentance is KEY to being able to FORGIVE. They go hand in hand. I used to think REPENTANCE was a religious word. But, it really is NOT. It is a HEART word. He wants a PURE heart. And, FRUIT, speaks FOR itself…. So, not matter how much people who, are involved with BAD stuff try and LIE. JESUS will REVEAL, the TRUTH. of THAT you can be CERTAIN. Just YESTERDAY, IT was brought to memory, Ananais and Saphaira. They tried to LIE to GOd. It did NOT go well. So. we have to stay REPENTANT, before our KING…because HE wants us to be able to continue to FLY FREE. And, FORGIVENESS, is NOT a ONE time, THING. He says, 70 x 7.

4. Life is So…. NOT PERFECT.   BUT… JESUS… IS ❤️ 😉 ❤️ And, His LOVE ❤️ is PERFECT.  ThE LOVE of GOD as A WHOLE is PERFECT.  IT is JUST not, ALWAYS, EASY TO, RECIEVE. ❤️

 

And….JUST a REMINDER ~~~~~ THOSE involved with the YUCK ~~~ are NOT coming against YOU~~~ they are COMING against JESUS in YOU ~~~

JUST the other DAY, I said to Someone… I used to be ABLE to forgive…LIKE Breathing…..It USED to BE so EASY ~~~~ WHY IS it SUDDENLY SO HARD….. And I HAD ANOTHEr SWEEt SIS AGREE 2…. We sat wondering…asking GOD… Why…is This…so Tough Now… It Did not used to be…~~~~~

We asked. ” Is it, because THIS GARBAGE JUST GETS OLD?” or ” ARE WE MAKING THIS ABOUT US”  “ARE WE DOING SOMETHING WRONG?” You know HE hears, this Question a lot. wink. And YET it FELT like THere were FEW answers, to the questions. AND THAT made it tougher. Because the teacher, is often quiet, during the TESTING. Right!  Thank GOD, for the GRACe to talk to HIM, and not to question, because we doubt, but, because we WONDER. Because, we DESIRE to know what is NEXT, in HIS plan. And not, from FEAR. But, because, as HIS children, We LIKE to prepare.~~~ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

 

 

I remember, as a child/KID I was in choir. I SANG, BEFORE I could SPEAK truly. And, one of my favorite songs, was the song, “Prepare the WAY of the LORD. WE had the sweetest directors. It was a couple. They worked so dilligently. Right now, The Song on, “Oh My Soul” (Casting Crowns) Tears I love JESUS so much. He knows, how my heart, is healing. How much, I am missing. The lyric, just said. “There’s a place…Where FEAR has to FACE the GOD you KNOW” ~ ❤️

 

 

 

My FRIENDS ~  I LIVE in that PLACE . TEARS. It is called HEAVEn on EARTH. The next LYRIC. “ONE MORE DAY, HE will MAKE A WAY. LET HIM SHOW YOU HOW. YOU CAN LAY it DOWN. CAUSE YOU”RE NOT ALONE.” (Casting CRowns)  We met them in person, not long after our Butterfly’s final flight. I remember, that the drummer has a son. Sarah prayed for his heart. Shortly, before she went HOME…she came in, to our bedroom then. Had such JOY, on her FACE. Said, momma, baby Silas is gonna be just FINE! I said, Who? And then, she preceeded to tell me, ALL about him. And, after, her FINAL flight, WE got to tell Silas’s daddy. 🙂 BY, God’s GRACE, did THAT happen. ~ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

 

 

 

The next song…. “In the EYE of the STORM” (Ryan Stevenson) 5:28 Grace-Eternal Life  hmmm ~~~ Appropriate. A Grace Baby. And She was in the Hospital 28 days….The Last Times. And, oh my…does it take GRACE to write…. YES…. ❤️

 

 

I have to TRUST GOD that….EVERYTHING is HIS. Every CHILD He has EVER given US to LOVE. Every Memory, Every Friend, Every thought, Every home, Every item, every detail, Every business. We have ALWAYS said…. HE owns the CATTLE on A THOUSAND HILLS…AND HE OWNS the HILLS as WELL!!!! So, HE CAN’t BE SOVEREIGN and NOT BE…. ❤️

 

 

Someone, i LOVE deeply, a precious FAMILY member said, “Your faith is so strong.” But, I pray that others SEE….My FAITH belongs NOT to ME. THERE are SO MANY times I struggle TOO. Just yesterday, I confess, I went to MY Jesus, with a MESS. I said, I need these THINGS, to FALL down. I know you say it is DONE. Make this END please. And, I felt HIM say, HOLD on sweet girl. I sat…on my KNEES. YES LORD. Though you SLay Me, I will TRUST YOU. ALWAYS. ALWAYS ALWAYS. ❤️ 💔 ❤️

 

 

 

WHAT GIFT CAN WE BRING OUR KING…THE GREATEST GIFT….SURRENDER…. ❤️

 

 

EVERYTHING BAD….DIED ON A CROSS IN CALVARY… I am PRAYING for MY BEAUTIFUL SIS…SHE DESERVES HEALING…and SO MANY DO>>> JESUS BRING THEM MIRACLES<<<< ❤️

 

 

YOU ARE THE HOPE!!!!!! I ASK YOU TO FLOAT 4 THEM!!!!! LOVE 🙂 ❤️

 

 

My Husband, was speaking to me, about a movie, Jesus had me reference recently in a video. And it was interesting, because he mentioned the timeline, in His life. And, I just kept thinking, about how God does things. I could not help but smile. 🙂  He even said, “We should watch it together soon, I want to show you something.”  Now, THAT is big for my husband. 🙂 My JESUS is a healer! ❤️

 

 

In the LIFE book…the BIBLE… it speaks of a 3 chord strand. It says that one is not EASILY broken. My most FAVORIte is FAITH, HOPE and LOVE. But, another one is Grace WISDOM and STRENGTH and that one is the one that I FEEL we have been holding onto lately. BECAUSE that 3 chord STRAND is anchored in the PERFECT LOVE of JESUS. And, no matter the WAVES it sometimes, gets tossed into. IT always comes out, more BEAUTIFUL. And, THAT JUST TRULY AMAZES ME. ~ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

 

 

 

I will CLOSE with THIS… When my HUsband and I got together… WE were connected with, these beautiful 😇 Angel in Disguise… Her name…. Henrietta. I adored her. She is now with Jesus. I don’t usually cry about that. BUt, today…TEARS seem to be falling. I am so grateful. Jesus used her, to TEACH me, and LOVE on ME. Without HER taking the TIME, to LOVE on ME… I would NOT know JESUS the way I do. And I remember, she made this promise to me. She said, one day I would have an amazing marriage. And now, by HIS Grace, I do. It takes JESUS. That is the TRUTH. But, by HIS GRACE. It is made BEAUTIFUL. ~~~~ And the GIFT  gift🎁 goes ON. ~~~

 

 

 

I just want to pray for the marriages —– Father GOD ~~~ I ask for Restoration of Broken marriages. Heal hearts. Heal minds. Heal bodies. Help US, BE MARRIED 2 You FIRST JESUS!!!! YOU DESERVE our WHOLE HEART….. What you have put together, let no man tear assunder. Grace Grace. There has been such pain, in the world Lord. Help your children, release the pain to you. Help it not stick like glue, but be like baloons, going up into the sky. May those baloons, come and give you hugs, and kisses Jesus. Holy Spirit Nurture us, Like a Mother does a Child. Strengthen us too. Because, many of us. are really strugling with feeling weary from battling. Not that we are trying, to handle things alone. WE come, with repentant hearts, asking forgiveness for any areas known or unknown, where we may be faltering. LORD, have your will and way in our lives. Bring HEAVEn to EARTh, as ONLY you CAN. THANK you in ADVANCE. WE LOVE you. Covered in the BLOOD over JESUS, AMEN. ~ ❤️

 

 

 

 

In HIS LOVE,

ELEA

07 Sep 2018

Beauty 4 ASHEAS ~ ❤️ 💐🌸🌺🌻

20131223_013742 (2)10307200_10152921095957785_5214134257696538820_nlarge778863_10151673469177785_890606283_o10502079_720790414681909_4910546880540562579_n816e6e642d8b65a15137333cbf5ed23010584071_10153041342612785_1766653364807497367_n10274071_10154554801292785_1555357345691557540_n-jpg1I went to Sleep thinking it was for, a FULL night’s sleep. However, God had different plan’s in mind, and THIS is NOT uncommon in MY LIFe. Though, TONIGHT, I did NOT get a HUGE heads UP. I woke, seeing, The song, “In Better Hands,” by the Artist Natalie Grant on Pandora . It was on the screen. I smiled, and yet, my heart kind of ached, a bit. Because my heart well, it Longs to BE fully HOME.~~~

 

 

The song currently ON… YES. Um. It is Francesca Batastelli. ” Born in ME. ” For Those of you, who have read, more than ONE entry, YOU know, that SONG is a VERY HARD ONE, and YET a VERY SPECIAL ONE. TEARS. OH, how I LOVE it. BUT, HOW IT HURTS. WE sang IT EVERY single DAY , FOR a YEAR, with OUR SARAH angel butterfly. ~~~ THEN, RIGHT before MY birthday, WE recorded IT. ~ THE LAST SONG. ~  Such a GIFT. ~ ❤️ 💞  💔

 

 

This YEAR, coming UP, is YEAR #5….. SINCE our BEAUTIFUL baby👼 GIRL’s FINAL FLIGHT HOME ~  And, WE are going 2 open UP, HER Ashes. A dear friend, and BROTher, GAVE us, this beautiful golden container, to house them in. And we have kept them there. But, IT is coming time, that those ashes start,  to be spread soon. Because, ASHES are not about death. He has shown US, She is about LIFE… And her LIFE should be Celebrated. So we ARe GOING to do JUST THAT. He has a BEAUTIFUL plan. But, that does NOT mean, it is ALWAYS an EASY plan. WE are children of the KING!!!! He has OVERCOME the GRAVE! He DIED for US 🙂 He CONQUERED EVERYTHING BY HIS ❤️  LOVE! NOTHING COULD STOP HIM… NOT RELIGION. NO ENEMY…NOTHING!

 

 

 

The song right NOW 🙂 ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

LYRIC… ” WHOM THE SON SETS FREE IS FREE INDEED , I’M A CHILD OF GOD, YES I AM!” (Who You Say I AM – Hillsong worship- It goes on to say… “I am CHOSEn not FORSAKEn I am WHO YOU SAY I AM. You are 4 ME not AGAINST ME, I am WHO you SAY I AM” THESe are VERY important WORDS are TRUTHS!!!! It also says “In my FATHER’s HOUSE THERE is A PLACE 4 ME” 🙂 SUCH LOVE and SUCH TRUTH of HEAVEN 🙂 THANK YOU JESUS 🙂 ❤️

 

 

 

I remmeber, another song, I think also similar that was played at the CELEbration of LIFE in FLorida ~ it was HOSANNa . Every single TIME, I hear it, to THIS day, I remember THAt day. By God’s Grace, I remember to BREATHe. …  Life HERE will FEEL cold. Sometimes, it may be warm, by HIS Grace. There will be TIMES, of response from young, and others from old. So many say to me….you are wise. But, sometimes, I just want to crawl, under the covers, and just be a KID. And, it seems like, those days, don’t exist. But, yet they do still…..~~~~~ ❤️

 

 

 

As, the song on now… “What Do I Know Of Holy” ……. Such a GREAT question…. LOVE the LYRICS to this SONG… in one of my other BLOGS… NO clue what ONE… IT is quoted some where. LOVE…..❤️

Listening… JESUS…. Love❤️

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

YOU know ME…. YOU know MY inner THOughts… MY Heart… YOu knew ME from MY womb… The depth of MY workings…. Thank YOU that YOU know EVERY DETAIL…. TEACH ME…..   ~~~~~~~~~ ❤️

Yesterday….My beautiful SIs…. spoke about  love❤️

 

LOVE….and how She desired to know… MORE about LOVE… and I just adore HER heart. And she is SO ACCURATE. There is so MUCH MORE to LEARn. Because, WE have to LOVE ONE another, and it HAS to be FULLY through HIS LOVE. So, FATHER GOD , LOVE through US. for LOVE comes, THROUGH YOU. WE bring the ASHES of the PAIn today to YOU. FORGIVE us oh GOD. Oh, WE REpent before YOU, and ASk, that YOU Create in US a clean 💞  HEARt. Renew a right spirit within us. Thank you Jesus. Thank you for NEVER failing. For stripping away, EVERY ounce of pride in our LIFE. Thank you for healing every every of strife. You are so beautiful. We are so grateful. ❤️

 

 

 

Help us, to put you FIRSt, above ALL…. because YOU deserve that position and HONOR. We trust you LOrd. You are the ROCk and salvation. Without YOU, nothing can STAND. Let Wisdom, build the house in the foundation of LOVE. Thank you JESUS, for LOVINg us so VERY deeply. Thank you HOLY spirit, for NURTURING us, and Father GOD, for standing IN AUThority OVER us. Mighty FAMILY of GOd, HOW YOU FIGHT for US. THERE is NO FAMILY BETTER. SO Grateful. So FAITHFUL. So FAITHFUL. ALL OF HEAVEN is FOR US. Thank YOU JESUS. by the BLOOD of JESUS , WE ARE COVERED. on THIS day of GRACE, thank you LORD. ~ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

 

 

 

WE FORGIVE the PAST, ONCE AGAIN ~ REMEMBER that YOU have thee VICTORY. ~ ❤️

CHOOSE 2 REST in YOU JESUS, BECAUSE YOU NEVER LOSE!!!!! ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

YOU are the BIGGEST WINNNER!!!! LOVE LOVE LOVE 🙂 ❤️

It is so interesting to ME….that something that COULD

 

 

be…so DEVASTATing… JESUS turns into…JOYFUL. THAT is JUST LIKE HIM… SMILES ~ I am not saying it is EASY… FAR from IT. Because, it sure is NOt. But, I am in AWE of the JOY, and MIRACLES happening in the HEALING. When He says, what was MEANT 2 HARm YOU, I will USE for YOUR GOOD, He MEANS THAT. I have So LIVED that OUT. I still DO! ❤️

 

 

 

It is just so CRAZY beautiful…Sometimes kinda AWFUL too…but mostly just KINDA Awesome….BY HIS Grace….Because, He is MAKING Everything NEW…and I DO mean EVERYTHING…. AND it is OVERWHELMING…and Beautiful, and it takes a MOMENT to stop and regroup, and step BACK and just go… WOW…. A LOT…. because there are MANY…. of what I call…. ” CLOUDY with a CHANCE of MEATBALL JOY MOMENTS”  ~~~~ ❤️

 

I am gonna EXPLAIN that NOw —– In that FILM they MAKE Food with a WEATHER Machine. And it REMINDS Me of the Promised LAND. Because in the Promised LAnd there is this AMAZING FOOD! SO, The people SEE this FOOD and the LOOK on their faces is just AWE struck. It is like PURE LIKE WOW. And to Me, IT is AMAZEMENT, SHOCK and AWE, and JOY… YES, I have MANY, MOMENTS, LIKE THAT with JESUS! ESPECIALLY LATELY !!!! LOVE 🙂  THAT lovie, in FACt both of those movies, are special, because we saw them, with Sarah. The second, one, the LAST movie, we officialy saw, as a family. ~ ❤️

 

 

 

NOt EASY things to speak ON, but THEY have to be SPOken ON, because THEY ARE, part of the BEAUTY 4 ASHES. LOVE ~~~ And HE deserves to have that 🙂 He reminds me, that because I honor Him, I honor her too. LOve. 🙂 ❤️

 

 

The Song that was just on…. ” Joyfully” (Kari Jobe) Yes , That Describes my Heart  for the most part. with this one , lightning bolt. And that gets ignited, ONLY at Jesus’s choosing. I am so VERy grateful, FOR the MERCY of GOD. YES, the LOVE of GOD. What would WE DO without it? We truly could not exist, without it…. That is TRUE. Yet, WE still have ONLY GLIMPSED the depth of the LOVE. Because, we NEED even MORE, of IT. But, it TAKES so MUCH to RECEIVE it, and TO GIVE it. ❤️

 

 

There is a HYmnn… that keeps coming to me… and it says… “OH for GRACe 2 LOVE YOU MORE”. ❤️

I remember Singing THIS as a CHILD…but NOT knowing WHAT this MEANT then….

as… I hear the words on the RADio ” CHRIST ALONE CORNERSTONE ” (hillsong)

 

 

As a Child, I sat in the church Pew….and my Biological Father constantly said, “be still” every Sunday to me. I always thought it meant be quiet. And in some ways it did. But, it meant So much more than that. It would be years, till I learned what THAT REALLy meant. To DATE, that is NOW, one of MY favorite, PLACES in the LIFE BOOK. “BE STILL and KNOW.” (Psalm 46:10)  I used to write , on the bulletin with my mom, and draw, and color. Jesus is reminding me of the good. The kindness. The LOVE.

 

 

I am so GRATEFUL for the LOVE!!!!! ❤️

And I pray for Everyone who did , NOT get it, that they CAN…have OPPOrtunities to RECieve it, by HIS Grace. Because, it is NOT too LATE. He has a PLAN. And I know, His plans are GOOD. He has PLANs to prosper US not to HARm US, PLans for hope and a FUTure, and a beautiful FUTURE. (Jeremiah 29:11) May everyone have the Destiny, that Heaven has designed. In Jesus Name. 🙂

Love You ALL ~~~~ ❤️

 

In His Grace, Mercy, and Peace,

Elea

05 Sep 2018

❤️ His Marvelous Love ❤️

10356327_797736560298840_800842292463146719_nhomelovedo-you-love-me_personalityhackerarticle-0-18F3722200000578-71_634x36012032158_498765573623763_2208643902534080114_ndeparture-of-the-winged-shipThe-Glory-of-God1-1024x768Really had NO intention, of writing today. Just yesterday, someone asked me, what I do. Well, technical, they asked me and my ❤️ LOVE , our profession. And, I said, “I guess, I am a writer.” I did not say it with confidence, and not exactly with JOY. And, for that I repent before, Heaven today. Because, He has gifted ME, with the use of HIS words, and I am honored, truly. Yet, THIS responsibility, is NOT small. I mean, NOT at ALL. And, when He says, JUMP to it, no matter the hour, I have to do it. And, I can’t complain, in the way that some can. And, that is okay. Because, there was a time, I had Grace, to do that. And, I am so grateful, that I could. It is how I was able to learn, and GROW. and, oh MY the growing pains, that came, and went. ~

 

 

 

 

But, HIS MARVELOUS ❤️  Love,,, THAT was FOUND…and NEVER LOST. Eventhough, I often felt, LOST myself. Truth, BE told, sometimes, I still do. There is a place, in HER story/ OURS where she was 6.5 years…. So much of Heaven, already present.  TEARS falling HERE….The song says, “DRINK UP TONIGHT.” But, it is often hard to drink of Heaven. Thank you to George Straight, and Jesus for using HIM, to reminding ME ~ HE makes ALL paths STRAIGHT. The next SONG – “THAT RED dirt ROAD ” A song FROM my childhood – Lyric ” I learned the path to HEAVEn, is full of sinners and BELIEVERS.” Yes. (Brook and Dunn) ❤️

 

 

 

 

———Back to the STORY of our 👐  BUTTERFLY ~~~ She came up to ME and tugged on my shirt, and said to ME, and the woman, I was speaking 2… “MOMMY, DON’T FORGET to TELL THEM… THE 1st TIME, YOU ASKED ME, IF I wanted TO BE WELL, you ASKED in FEAR… AND I COULD NOT HONOR THAT. BECAUSE GOD, DOES NOt HONOR THAT. But, the 2nd TIME, YOU asked IN FAITh, AND I COULD HONOR thAT , BECAUSE GOD, HONORS THAT!!! ~~~~ AND, MY JAW DROPPED ~~~ ❤️

 

 

 

 

THE SONG ON ~~~ “MY LITTLE GIRL” (TIM MCGRAW) I LOVE YOU SWEET SARAH ~ BUT I KNOW, YOU HAD and HAVE SO MUCH MORE TO DO ~ THANK YOU JESUS, THAT YOU LOVE HER MOST ~ ❤️

 

 

 

Side Note : (The caps are for Ephasis, not like yelling 🙂 )

I remember, LOOKING for LOVE in ALL the WRONG places. They looked right, in so many ways, to ME. But, oh MY…looking back, there was so much GRACE present. I had NO idea, just how much. I will NEVER forget, the day, of December 27, 2005. It was 6:30 am. All the doctors, has predicted, one week later, that our baby girl, would arrive. But, Heaven, had other plans. Everything about it, seemed so backwards. But, GOD. We went to the hospital 5 times. Yes 5. 🙂 Grace 🙂 I rememeber, she looked at ME, and I saw JESUS eyes. ~~~ ❤️

 

 

 

I had LOOKED and SEARCHED for JESUS eyes, for so LONG. I thought, I would NEVER see them. But, then, she was placed in my lap. And, I was so taken back. I was just mesmerized by the ❤️ LOVE  of GOD. I did not THEn, HAVE the SAME relationship, that I do NOW. I was so broken. I am STILL broken. But, then, I was immature, and uninformed. I had not been introduced, to the REAL ❤️ LOVE . And THIS was my official  introduction.

 

Yes, I had people in my life, TELL me JESUS loved me. I am so grateful for those people too. They had planted seeds, of ❤️ LOVE , to get me that far. And, the FAMILY of GOD was used, and many of their prayers, to help me, along the way. Cannot say enough, how thankful, I am. And, how,  much I bless each and everyone of those people… Even those, who may have meant to harm me, oh I bless them too. ~ Because that day, a MIRACLE came into my LIFE. ~ My baby 👼 girl!

 

 

 

But, mark my words, it was also a HUGE responsibility too. I treasured EVERY moment, with my sweet Sarah. We ALL did. Though, something inside, always knew, SHE did NOT belong to just ME. And, that it was crucial, that I remember that. Because, if I did NOT, it would be beyond, destructive, and MOST of ALL dishonoring, to my KING. What is the greatest gift, that we can give to, the ONE who LOVES us, MOST? SURRENDER. ~ ❤️

 

 

 

There will be SOME who just ADORE Jesus in US. Others who do NOt. Some who pretend to. Some who are sincere. At this point, it is exhausting, trying to figure out, who is for or against. It is not our job to do so. Our JOB is to LOVE. We do so FROM Heaven above. HE DOES it, through US. Our JOB is to LET HIM. ~ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

 

 

 

It is NOT always EASY to receive HIS LOVe, because it requires GIVING up, YOUR plan. BUt, when YOU do… I promise YOU, that HIS plans, ARE SO MUCH better. AND He has a WAY of GIVINg you EVERYTHING, THAT you NEED. Not Always, what you WANT. But, what YOU NEED. ~ He WILL NOT FAIL. ❤️

 

 

#MYLIFEISHEAVENSMOVIE ❤️

I am so grateful for HIS LOVE. IT is the MOST tangible, REAL. VALUABLE . SINCERE. TRUTH. in MY LIFE. ~ ❤️

FAITh HOPE and LOVE ~ these 3 remain ~~~~ but the

 

GREATEST of THESE is HIS LOVE!!!! HIS ABSOLUTELY UNBOUNDING and UNENDING and UNCOMDITIONAL, with the condition of US saying YES !  LOVE 🙂 ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

Thank you 🙂 To JESUS and our HEAVENLY Father and HOLY Spirit, whom I see like a Nurturing Mother, because I let my

 

 

 

own biological mom go, at such a young age….❤️

Thank you for the FREEDOM to receive the LOVE ~~~~ We praise you !!!! ❤️

IN your GRACE , MERCY, and HOPE,  ❤️

ELEA

 

 

 

03 Sep 2018

JESUS HIGHWAY ~ ❤️

our-lives-are-in-the-hands-of-godend-of-the-worldtree-of-life-movie29caf0651dd94f57758d9befcb449fc8184414_10151642914512863_1045860989_nfighting-parentssecuredownloadWhen YOU make a choice, to be a VOICE for GOOD. YOu better, be IN it, to WIN it. ❤️  ANd, YOU better, stay HUMBle, and KIND. That, is ONE, of my Favorite, SONGS. Thank you. To, JESUS…and TIm McGraw.   I walk. I drive. I LIVE on the JESUS Highway. ❤️  And HE moves US, when HE chooses. HIS address, is MINE. It is OFTEN hard to have ROOTS, because MY roots, are simply, that of HIS LOVE. I so DESIRE, to KEEP it SIMPLE. To LEAVE things, with a KISS, and a HUG. And somwtimes…I literally, by HIS Grace do, just THAT. But, don’t THINK, that I don’t battle, HUMAN frailties. Because, THAT, would just BE A LIE.

 

 

 

EVERY DAY…IT TAKES love❤️ JESUS to MAKE ME XIST. Was thinking about the FILM, just 2day…. It is called, “What DREAMS MAY COME” Have you SCENE it?” It is one of my favorites. That movie has SO MUCH in it… SO much of HEAVEn, but to be FRANK, so much YUCK too. But, let’s NOT focus on THAT. Let’s stay with the FIRST part. BECAUSE it is the BEST. Robin WILLIAMS the actor, oh, He is a doctor, quite sad in his heart, but that hidden. His wife, an artist and broken too. But, they don’t know the kind of brokenness that awaits them.

 

 

 

The first time, I saw this film, I was a TEEN. I was at the MALL. So VIVID, to ME. I remember it so WELL. Even then. MY own, private HELL. Seriously, I cried, from beginning of the film, to the VERY end. I could NOT stop the TEARs. My friend, back then, maybe a foe. Hard to know. But, I choose to believe, that the compassion, was REAL. Because JESUS always loves love❤️ LOVES, to the HILT. His LOVE never fails. NEVER. It is hard for me TO Speak on THIS. But, I must, because though, I think no one READS this, maybe SOMEDAy, someone WILL. And somehow , SOMEONE will HEAL. By HIS Grace. ❤️

 

 

 

And They will be in AWE, that as a CHILD, Jesus began to prep ME, for what was to COME…decades, DOWN the road, with my butterfly. Because, my LOVE, is convinced, somewhere INSIDe, a part of ME, always KNEW. It was WHY I was always scared to become a MOM. ~~~~

 

 

 

But, back to the MOVIE script…. “What Dreams May Come” ❤️

 

 

In the film…. There is an accident — and the caregiver takes the children to school, and the 2 children don’t make it there. The parents are beyond devestated. They practically LOSE their minds. The wife, ends up in a psych ward, and they are about to get a divorce. And then, the husband /doctor, stops, on a bridge, to help someone, and a car comes, and hits him, and he dies instantly. So, it is TRAUMA< after TRAUMA. So, last but not least, the wife/artist, in desperation…commits suicide. AND you would think it ENDS there…but it does NOT.

 

 

 

Now…Go with me here…for a moment…Because, I LOVE how the movie handles it. The husband first, goes to HEAVEN. He experiences, the BEAUTY, and the WONDER, and the TREASURE THERE. HE SEES HER PAINTINGS TOO. AS HE CANNOT FIND, HIS WIFE, IN HEAVEN, HE JOURNEYS into HELL and gets HER OUT…. and SHE is able to BE FREE…. Because HIS LOVE rescues HER From the HELL She is IN.

 

 

 

You Learn in Jesus ,that there is a Language and a Math ✖️ and techniques, and ways, that ONLY HE… Can MAKE . His Highway.  ~~~~ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️  Love ~~~

 

 

And, I LOVE the movie LINE, She says… “SOMETIMES, WHEN YOU LOSE, YOU WIN.” (WDMC)

 

 

Because, YOU ALWAYS WIN, with Jesus… Even when it looks, like you have LOSt.  ❤️

 

 

Now, WE are NOT saying there is biblical backing for THIS… ~~~ Regarding going into Hell ~~~ and rescuing someone…

 

 

But, I am saying….JESUS absolutely DOES THIS for US…. ❤️

HE goes INTO our HELL…and GETS us OUT…. ❤️

I am LIVING proof…. I cannot COUNT the many PRIVATE

 

HELLS He has rescued ME and US from….❤️

He is THE GOD of LOVE, JUSTICE, MERCY, and RESCUE…

HE will REMOVE you FROM ALL CAPTIVITY ~~~~ ❤️

The KEY is….YOU have TO LEt HIM remove YOU…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

AND NOT FIGHT HIM in PROCESS….

 

 

ARE YOU ready….to RECEIVE the FREEDOM? LIVING LIFE, On the HIGHWAY of HEAVEn…is NOT for the FAINT of HEART. He is  CRYSTAL CLEAR about THIS. ~~~

 

 

Psalm 73: 26 My FLESH and my HEART may FAIL; but GOD is the STRENGTH of my HEART and my PORTION forever. ~ ❤️

WILL YOU ALLOW HIS LOVE, TO SET YOU FREE???!!!???

 

 

IN His GRACE,

We Soldier ON ~

02 Sep 2018

PUrrrfect -N- Jesus ~~~ ❤️

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loveI will TRUST, when I feel pain. If the dark appears, to rise up. I know He wins, again. One way or ANOTHEER…. Jesus ALWAYS gets HIS way. Simple, yet quite profound. Today, His Hand is turning it around. By HIS Grace. To He, this early morning, is the perfect, time . The time, where there is HIS peace, in the midst of what sometimes FEELS ….like chaos and disorder. But, WE have choices. YES. Will we choose to obey GOD or man? The question, at hand. THIS DAY, the one that HE has made…. ❤️

As I child, I thought like a child. Well, in some ways I did, and others NOT. But, I found, the Victory, the tree of LIFE, was not in the place of CONTROL. There is no NEED for a compete cause , or CLAUSE in JESUS. His ❤️ LOVE  breaks the chains, and connects them too. Rememebr, as a young kid, you likely played, COnnect the dots. It is LIKE this….Everything NOT meant for GOOD, and HOLY will be overturned. It is a matter of HIS time. He will fight for her, me, and ALL of us. YES. But, surrender to HIM, in this neverending story….so IMPORTANT. ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

My favorite childhood shows and  films,  had light and dark…within. And, in that place of HIS Grace, i began to SEE. His ❤️ Love you ~~~ will ALWAYS come for ME. Waking back UP, to go FORWARD.

 

 

The SONG…”Take this WORLD from ME” Yes, by HIS Grace, I don’t NEEEEED it anymore. BUt, I can still LIVE in it. by, HIA (His Introspective ALMIGHTY)  Grace. Yes. Falling on my Face, before MY   KING, in reverence and ❤️ Love. Just like the ONE day… In that first hospital room. The one, that felt like a TOMB. But, so much, never spoken, THEN. But here…. the SONG, “You are changing the world.” (SCC) By His Grace, it’s not just ME, but HE. And I need that reminder too. ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

Here…FEAR is going to come and GO, just like RAIN falls to the ground. BUt, when rooted, in FAITH in JESUS. IT will not overtake. NO! The “SAME power” (Jeremy Camp) ….song coming nOW. Lyric is this…” THE SAME POWER that ROSE JESUS , from the GRAVE…LIVES in ME.” Yes, it DOES. HE lives in YOU, IF you choose for HIM 2. I give the OLD and the yuck no place, in LIFE. Because HE conquered ALL that. When it comes up, there is a REASON. And, it is MUCH higher, than this world LOGIC. Grace is needed to walk, the walk and talk. ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

 

 

And THIS day, He wipes the yuck away, again. By HIS Grace, and I say YES. To the GOOD, beautiful, and perfected by HIS LOVE. ❤️  This day, I choose HIM!!!! He deserves that SLOT, in my heart.   Yes, it sometimes, feels like a lightening  lightning⛈ shock. But, He promises us, “We won’t be tempted, beyond what WE can BEAR. ” He says, “I will make a WAY for you to BEAR up under it.”

 

 

 

But, IF we don’t take that way, it is up to us. So, I do. Yes, JESUS, as ALWAYS, I MARRY YOU. 🙂 Love.  You are, MY Great ESCAPE, MY ❤️  LOVE, MY Breath. YES, YOU are MY words, my thoughts, and my actions. EVERY detail, you have planned. YOU hold my HAND….as WE walk through the FIRE. Yes, NEVER alone.

The SONG now, “YOUR Grace IS ENOUGH”  Yes, it definitely IS. ~~~~~ ❤️

When I want to do, AS before, YOU say, NO those doors, are closed. A different route, will be made clear. MY GRACE, is at WORK here. Yes. Thank you JESUS. You hold EVERY ounce of time. in the palm of your HANDS, we survive, thrive and are REVIVED. As a commercial comes on, for Arnold Palmer. The place, official HERE, of the final flight, of our butterfly. ~~~

I could choose to be tormented. But, instead, I choose LIFE, HIS LOVE, and to stay repentful. Jesus keep us humble. ONLY you can handle, the things around. GOD can and WILL, destroy the BAD – I have scene IT, with MY own EYES. But, we must surrender , ALL. Not hold back, an ounce. ❤️

 

The SOng – “Cannot say enough” —- ONCE again (Mercy Me)  That lyric, states. “WE cannot say ENOUGH, about you.” Yes. So TRUE. We will get picked on, lied about, slandered and MORE. BUt, JESUS will slam, ever UNHOLY door. In Jesus NAME. You know why? Because HE LOVES US. If you choose HIM, He will do it for you too. He makes that clear, CRYSTAL. ❤️

 

” LAY down YOUR burdens, LAY down your SHAME. All who are broken…LIFT up your FACE. ” (Come as YOU ARE >>>> (DC -David Crowder) ❤️

Now…. “YOU SAY” (Lauren Daigle)  Who are WE, to HE ? That SONG says it ALL…. ❤️

Who am I??? ?

I  am NOT an ounce of bad, or evil. But, the GRACE of GOD, He has cleaned me, and does SO DAILY.  I am HIS lion cub. THat is who I am. I am a daughter, wife, a mom, and MORE. But, MOST of ALL, I am HIS FIRST.  Love❤️ Therefore, EVERYTHING else>>> comes 2nd place. Then third, and fourth, you SEE? THink of a race, I remember those. The ones, I used to RUN. In fear, and haste, I often RAN from HIS Grace. But, now,…I REALIZE, there were SOOOOOOO many LIES. IT felt like an OCEAN  consuming ME. But, it did NOT. He never let me DROWN. Others laughed and mocked, as I got pulled under. BUT, HE came in, and still does, with HIS ROAR and HIS thunder of LOVE!!!! ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

So, Grace Grace against illusions, and confusions, and disillusionment 2. Because HIS LOVE….WILL RISE UP…….>>>>><<<< AND take the LAND. HOPE definitely FLOATS, and HIS name is JESUS. He is the author, and DEFENDER, of our FAith. The writer, director, protector. HE is simply, IN charge. IF you want LOVE ….TRUE LOVE…. then CRY out to JESUS. He will SAVE YOU. ~~~ ❤️

Let Him… ❤️

IN His Grace,

Smiles

27 Aug 2018

Don’t LAFF @ ME ~

  1. the sky is falling230309_10150298782702785_6462501_nheaven-and-hell-300x2255734371007_c47137bc23_zThe-Crucifixionwisdomhome778863_10151673469177785_890606283_o10502079_720790414681909_4910546880540562579_n10274071_10154554801292785_1555357345691557540_n-jpg1Somedays, I wonder, is there ANY reason for ME here? JUST being REALLy raw, and HONEST. This LIFE, at times, feels so TEDIOUS. Numbers 4:29- 4:32 speaks of the BURDEN, that can be made KNOWN. NO one, I can imagine, would question, whether MINISTRY, of LOVE 4 thru, around, and IN JESUS, is an EASY profession. ~~~~So, I state THIS confession. At THIS early hour. The crack of DAWN, I admit, that even the JOB, has been a THORN. It has been FOOD, that I had to lay down. STILL DO. Because, JESUS ONLY…..>>>>>> DESERVES the CROWN.   HE is the KING! NOT ME. Not you, or others, wither.  Either, OR, HIS LOVE opens, and CLOSES every single door. ~ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

Quite FRANKLY, these topics, get HOtter, and Colder 2. But, His words, must COME OUT. And suffering, is the temporary cup, that comes and goes. ANd, to HE…it IS an honor. Yes, that is hard to HEAR. Because, Heaven…feels so NEAR and so FAR. The SONG… “One more DAY” again. Yes, for my husband, especial. But God. Jesus MEETS US, right where we ARE. ANd to the bullies, HE says, sit down. He alone, shuts the LIONS mouth. Each and every one….He handles, with CARE. ~~~~ ❤️

When do WE obey, RIGHT away…. WHY? Because, often LIVES are involved, other than our own. Grace Grace…. So, under the Xylephone it goes. Heaven’s THRONE….YES, just like those   presents, we used to open, from the EVERGREEN.  Grace Grace. My confesssion continues here, I have often chosen FEAR. And, yet HIS Grace has covered me. He gave me grace, to cry, yet I could never lied. It seemed sometimes, I tried to me. But, in that, there was deceive. The Song, “If tomorrow NEVER comes.” Well, with JESUS it does. Yes, NO MATTER what…. But, surrendered before HIM, this is major KEY. Without that, a HOLLOW victory, indeed. ~~~

Sometimes, To quote THIS song…yes… you “FIND OUT who YOUR friends ARE.” It is the title, and the lyric 2. And, when you DO<<< you, realize…. LOTS of lies. Oh my. I recall a season, NOT long ago. Seemed EVERYWHERE I turned, there was a HAMAN, with a sword.   In the story of ESTHER , she lays down, her LIFE for the people SHE LOVES. Haman, the antagonist, definitely not PRO. You with me HERE? But, God’s POWER fell on Esther…and HE alone, set captives FREE. ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

Oh MY…so much FOOD…Memories 2.  Grace Grace…. ❤️

The Song, “I’m MOVING on.” Yes. THIS is ME, and US. No question, we appear to be thrown under the bus, AGAIn. BUt, we PRAISE. WE will stand on the mountain, and GIVE HIM GLORY! HE, the author of EVERY story. YES.  Another LYRIC… “I had to LOSE EVERYTHING to FIND OUT.” Oh , THIS is SUCH truth….EVERY single day. But, in the pain…. WE rememeber.  OUR LOSS……>>>><<<< HIS GAIN. ❤️

 

 

It is THAT simple. THAT is a FACT. One, that does not ALWAYS fell comfy. It gave ME a heartattack, ONCE. But, HIS GRACE….BROUGHT ME BACK. ~~~~ ❤️

There is NO ONE ON EARTH…not ME or YOU EITHER….who is NOT susceptible to influence of the BAD. It takes JESUS….to KEEP us FROM THAT. Hmmmm. KEEPSAKE. KEEPSAFE. NO question, HIS LOVE is directiong, orchestrating. SO,  in that DIRECTION… will REST and TRUST in HIM. Though, it LOOKS confusing. WE will NOT be MOVED, from HIS hand. ~~~~ ❤️

The Raven, WHITE….FIRST bird in FLIGHT…. later became the DOVE . By, HIS LOVE from above the olive branch was added 2. YES. Grace. CHOOSE FAITH….>>><<<< IN JESUS ALONE. The only SAFE -ty and Safe way 2. Because, HE TRULY makes ALL things NEW.

 

 

 

So Once again… WE TAKE Raveging, UP Say THANKS. Yes,,,,,…… because HE deserves the insences. He deserves to have ACCESS, to every incident….EVERY wound. Every thought, every move. To HIM, we LAY it down. By His Grace, WE can FACE each day. ~~~ With, or without, what WE thought might be. Laying down, GREAT EXPECTATIONS, even of HE. Nothing above HIS LOVE. NOTHING…b4 our KING.   ~~~ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

Now, to the TITLE this entry. Comedy…NOT an easy thing, always for ME. Yes, at times, a DARK place. To be upfront. My mother, biological… HID behind the mask, of funny. It is hard to write this. But, I say it not, in any Slash… More just an observe, as I remember. Oh, that TIMe. SO tender. Those memories. They still flicker, in my life. ~~~

 

 

By His Grace, Jesus opens, up…what FEELS like Pandoras box. But, it’s REALLY NOT. ~~~ It is REALLY even MORE of an invitaion unto HIS ❤️ Love. I receive that INVITATION, with JOY! Um, but it does NOT always feel good. THAT is just TRUE. ~~~

My Mother, a Sarah Elizabeth 2. Remmeber , I had more than 1. Now, HEAVEn, gets to share in that sunshine. LOVE. But, it is breaking 2. My Mom, she did not know how to DEAL with PAIN. She got VERY   angry. Especially with ME. I LOVE my MOM. So much. I am so glad, SHE is with JESUS. Not, because I do NOT miss her. I do. It has been how, many years now. Going on #19 soon. But, 18 now. Overcoming BONDAGE. This is why WE speak. Captives BE SET FREE!!! In Jesus NAME!!!! ~~~~ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

My MOMMA SARAH, she rarely cried, in front of me. I think, I can maybe recall once or twice, I saw her breakdown. SHe was taught to be strong. So, I followed along…. OR I tried 2 anyway. FROM, a VERY early AGE….I just NEEDED her around. You’d think that makes sense, in a place of logic. But, oh the recompense, that seemed to COME, my way then. ~~~

 

 

Because I LOVED her…JESUS in her most. I never meant to worship my mom. That was NEVER my heart. I just wanted SOMEONE to show ME the way… That’s A SONG 2. Hmmmm. Grace. Her ANGER, was hidden very WELL. And, behind closed   doors, was a PRIVATE Hell. But, not private from JESUS. Nope. It was VERY clear to HIM. ~~~

I tried, to help, where I could with HER. But, I often felt I failed, and got nailed…to the wall, though HUGS attempted. Forced, most often. That, I JUST resented. Grace, I was this little SPROUT. Yes, Her favorite network. I know the parallels now. By HIS GRACE, the don’t make me scare. By His Grace, there is AWARE.  ×××××××××××^^^^^^^^^

You can believe or NOT, that choice is yours. No one, can take that from you, or me either. But, when I even think of a lie, yeah it does not stick. That glue, got taken from ME, by HIS BLOOD. Yes, on Calvary’s TREE. Super quick.  Grace.  ❤️

FROM a Very young age, I was teased. Now, some would say, “That is just life.” But, it does not HAVE to be. That was just MINE. Even now, I don’t enjoy being picked at, or ON. But, He is healing ME, by HIS Grace, LOVE ❤️  and MERCY. And, now, I don’t react in ANGER, the way I once did. Like SHE did, but not in the same BAD. Different, but Same. I was younger. Yet, OLDER in other ways. I remember, that, in the car, I tried to get out…I almost FELL into the HIGHWAY. But, His Grace. Yes, ANGELS…and HEAVen around…and abounding.~~~

EVEN then. Another memory, NO CLUE, what triggered ANGER 2 her. But, the SLAP across the face, stung. The words, that I hate to utter even now. But, I lay that down 2. Because, He holds, EVERY memory. What used to be…like a steel trap. Often, feels opposite of THAT. Grace.

Grace Grace…… “Unfailing LOVE” (Chris Tomlin) —- ChRIST is HIM…so STRONG. Strong, By the Grace, of GOD, I am certain. Now, “MORE to THIS LIFE” (SCC) Memories, from childhood…EVERYWHERE it seems. And people who looked ON, even Family, thought it was perfect. ( FOR ME)But, behind the scenes…there was SO MUCH torment and at times just torturous agony. But HIS ❤️ LOVE …The rescue. Still astounds ME…every ONE of them. Every captive SET FREE. ~~~~ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

Jesus WILL NOT be mocked. NOR will HE be stopped. SO NOW… I pause. I will return to THIS. BY HIS GRACE. I just BREATHE NOW. AND TRUST that SOMEHOW…the words, HE has said to me…will fall into place. BY HIS Grace. YES. The LYRIC. “More than these eyes alone can SEE. And, there’s more, than this life, alone can BE ” (SCC- “MORE to THIs LIFE.” )YES.

His initials….MEAN something to me…

They became an ANAGRAM, in MY LIFE. SCC – SARAH COOPER + Christ! The ONE thing, I will forever BE grateful for, is the Door of LOVE ❤️  that opened me UP, to JESUS. And it came through, my BIRTH MOM.  I can still SEE her smile. TEARS. “THY WILL” playing… NOW (HS) Hillary Scott, a precious gift. But, a TOUGH mirror for me. I will get more to that, later. Grace Grace. ❤️

Here is what I KNOW. Jesus LOVES US and THEM 2. So, I lay it DOWN again. Have your way….ONLY yours, today and EVERY DAY. In JESUS name and BLOOD ~~~ Amen

One more thing, WE and I repent, if there was or is anything, negative affecting us, that causes or caused a wrong move. Grace Grace. Have your way….Jesus. ON earth as is IS in Heaven. Yes, Heavenly FATHER, sift OUT the LEAVEN. Grace…

HS (HOLY SPIRIT in this PLACE ) The ONE I SEE as MOM— Yes ~~~~

Grace….. SUFFICIENT for ALL our NEEDS ~ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

In His GRACE, LOVe and MERCY,

His Warrior Child ~~~

 

 

 

26 Aug 2018

❤️ Loved in the ❤️ RetONING ~~~ 📹 🔦 🎞

1913687_257152152784_2756129_njesus_095il_570xN.207216313images612wpFrT0WL._SX258_BO1,204,203,200_415….I am ALIVE. ❤️  Much to the dismay of some. But, I choose NOt that loaded GUN.   For, it is NOT a toy. NOT for, this GIRL.   Or for, ANY ChilD. This topic, not MILD. On her Heavenaversary, WE celebrerate LIFE!!! We do SOW, without STRIFE, by HIS GRACE. NOT on our own. NO WAY!!!! Being HIS micro/megaphones, WoW, not ALWAYS, easy. Beacsue, there is a KAPOW, that can come with HIS LOVE. Love❤️ love❤️ ❤️ ❤️ And, sometimes, it makes PEOPLE Run…away. So, we PRAY that someday. THEY run into HIS strong arms again. BECAUSE, it is the ONLY SAFE place. It is the ONLy safe —ty. The Only true North.  The only WAY. ~~~~

 

 

 

BECAUSE, He has LOVE, love❤️ for YOU and for ME! THIS is why WE are ALIVE 🙂  —- IF—–  you are part of HIS   Bride. Oh, but THAT is a BIG…..IF right there. SO, you must be AWARE. He is the AUTHOUR of LIFE. The giver and TAKER of it. Not Me, not YOU. Trick or Treat…Not a GAME. No. HE is the ONE who is CHESS…will SAY CHECK MATE! HIS ROAR will SHAKE and QUAKE the EARTH, and if EVIL has frightened you, and caused you to shudder, then know this… ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

 

 

 

Grace Wins EVERytime in Jesus —- cost Counted —- ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

 

 

 

 

HIS POWER, JESUS—–is EVEN MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE INFNINTE! Love❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ The Song…”YOUR PRAISE WILL EVER BE ON MY LIPS” Yes! NO DOUBT! And, I say this now, as MANY who serve the DARK, tried to get me to STOP celebrating the Heavenaversary. Lies, it would make me   sad, FOREVER. Thinking it so CLEVER. But, WE forgive. GRACE GRACE. We Forgive, to LIVE, in HONOR, of our   KING!!!! Surrender, it is a MUST! ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

I never OFFICIAL, saw the MOVIE, “Twilight.” Same, for the movie “FROZEn.” Too many Reasons why. But, I saw the trailers. And, what I do know, is I saw enough to know, somethings, I don’y need, to SEE on screen. Well, because, they just don’t HELP me. Yes, JESUS can USE everything. He does, in my LIFE. ❤️

 

 

But, I have found, If I break down the door doors, it often causes such pain, in my life. ANd, I can BE my own, DYNAMITE. Different ❤️  Tears. Have you had that in you LIFE? In your LIVING years? In so MANY ways, I have been, MY own worst ENEMY before, I have been my worst captivity. TILL JESUS set me FREE. ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

YES… SO LONG SELF!!!! HELLO JESUS!!! Every DAY!!!! I choose YOU!!! Make ME NEw!!!! Beautiful!!!! PEACE!!!! FREE!!!!! ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

A creative miracle… ME…  He knows.. ME… MY name.  ❤️

Free me from OLD judgements…UPROOT the GUNK. MORE JOY. I choose. “JUMP OVER YUCK.” Thank you sweet JENNA GIRL! ❤️  Oh, I LOVE YOU JESUS!!! Yes, you are BRINGING BEST. Especially since 7/12/18. WHOLE FOODs. JUST AS YOU PROMISED ME. 🙂 TEARS, but no LONGER the FEARS inside. Oh, just ABIDing…under your Wings, and PAWS. My Lion of Judah.  Lion King. Praying for them ALL…

Release, ONE day…but YOUR Grace. Final destination, whatever it may BE. It sure is NOT up to Me. So glad, it is not my choice… ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

The Song… “Sleep on it” (TM)Yes, please and as they do…Give them Heven, so they can   SEE the truth. You know, part, of the word, HEAVEN, is the word…Heavy. People are always, saying. Wow. Or, That is DEEp. And now, I suppose, WE have a new way, to explain. When, WE go to sleep and DREAM, oh how Heaven speaks. The other place tries to speak too. Who are you going to listen 2? Grace Grace. Till it disappears….

Many will SAY… ” She does NOT care.” but, THAT simply is NOt TRUE. ” I can say that till, I am BLUE in the FACE. But, it would NOT HELP. The choice to believe LIES…is still THERE. Grace GRACE. Heaven hears my YELP. This, I know. ONE day, ALL will SEE. Bow, b4 MY KING. SOON. This…”Whiskey Lullaby” will END it has an EnD CLOCK dear FRIENDS. Yes, i know you think you are enemies. But, WE are told to LOVE. So everyone is FRIEND to JESUS. HE LOVES EVERY CHILD.

 

 

 

I have a friend, who has a favorite episode of a TV show. One, that is quite OLD. Interesting, it is, the “TWILIGHT ZONE. “A show meant, to be intense,   scary, at times, definitely keep you on the edge of your seat. But, in this one. It is quite ❤️  sweet. It is where the older people, have something happen, to them, and they become like, little kids. That is, WHAT Jesus does, again, and again. He renews YOUTH. He protects, and guards. He brings JOY forth. But WE have to LET HIM do it. Oh, that part, can OFTEN Be TUFF.

LOOK! What has been required….As I listen to the SONG ON ” I just want to GO HOME…” Some days…YES. Othere days…I LOVE my LIFE. Every Day, I LOVE…my JESUS. 🙂 But, giving UP every single   baby….As the song “Confidence” plays next. Something I have often lacked. Jesus knows why. Oh my. Gave me that heart   attack. Grace Grace. ALL in THIS PLACE.  ~~~~~

“I’m GONNA SING AND SHOUT AND SHAKE THE WALLS WONT STOP UNTIL I SEE Em’ FALL” oh…THIS SO FITS!!! YES! SO MANY REASONS!!!! JESUS KNOWS 🙂 GRACE GRACE 🙂 🙂 LOVE LOVE LOVE ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

I have GODFIDENCE – Confidence in GOD – When I cannot— HE CAN.

Oh YES… The LAST detail… IMportant ONE… LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE

YES YOU CAN SIR— OVERCOME CANcer. THat WAS what He gave us with OUR DAVID, and with SARAH , just changed He to SHe. Grace GRACE. As, “This is AMAZING Grace” (Phil Whickham) comes ON……

Now… “Be Held. ” Tears… Healing here.  ❤️

In HIS Grace,

E

Proverbs 3:5-6

TRUST in and RELY Confidently on the LORD with ALL your HEART, AnD do NOT ReLy on YOUr own Insight or Understanding. In ALL YOUr WAys know and Aknowledge and Recognize Him, AnD He will make your PATHS straight and SMOOTH (removing obstacles that block your way).

 

23 Aug 2018