Inspirational

In His Steps and Hers

11702785_10200801803564457_8496415044547532650_n

12004852_925494327532118_784396942730903230_n19693_491506860886978_1220456359_nhappily-ever-after-wood-print1393995_10201078220131542_2001900371_nIt has been A LONG time since writing, was on the “AGENDA.” Part of me wants to start this post, with “I’M BACK.” Trust me, It is NOT like, I went on a vacation. But, I was definitely put on a PAUSE. You see, when your JOB, is to just BE and DO whatever Heaven commands of YOU. It’s quite simple. You either Do it, or You Don’t. As a child, WE are supposed to learn this lesson. And I am very grateful, because I was given excellent earthly parents. They did everything, humanly possible, to TEACH me. They, particularly my biological mom, Sarah Cooper, was committed to taking me, and my siblings to church. I never know, where Jesus is going to take things, in my life or words. I just kind of buckle in, and say, “Let’s go!”

My Mother, and I had a very interesting relationship. In a LOT of ways it was a Love/hate relationship. But looking back, I can safely say, Jesus is what rooted it in LOVE. She was the first person who introduced me, to Jesus. I will always be eternally grateful to her, for that. But, because my mother, had a LOT and I mean a LOT of undealt with pain, and I was a mirror, of that pain, I was not always an easy part of her life. I would watch her, and marvel at her. She was literally a teacher. I’m certain, in the Heaven’s Jesus still uses her, in that capacity. I believe, she and I were more alike, than I knew, but she was scared to speak of it. In that time, it wasn’t something that was done. Even today, so many who knew her, tell me, how proud, she is, or would be of me. How much I remind me of her. I used to be hurt, because I harbored my own pain. I dealt with so much trauma, and even abuse. But, Jesus is a HEALER, and the Holy Spirit a nurturer. Not to mention, our Heavenly Father, is a strong protector, and this beautiful union, just this amazing FAMILY, the greatest GIFT, to be a part of. AND, my greatest desire, is for the family I was birthed from, to be united with the one, I was birthed into. In my heart, I know, ONE DAY, it will BE. Because JESUS doesn’t LIE. He promised ME.

My Mom and Dad, though they had their own pain, and challenges, taught me, and I pray us, deep down to take things one day at a time. Jesus lead our home. ALL be it, it was often silently, and it took years to see what Jesus was doing behind the scenes. If you asked others, in our family if this was true, I’m not certain they’d agree. And that’s okay with me. Because, it’s where THEY are. And, here’s the thing…. Someday, EVERYONE will see. The LIFE BOOK is Heaven’s word. It’s known, as the word of God. And, when it is in YOU, you LIVE in a different way. You have more FREEDOM. You MOVE different. YOU speak DIFFERENT. YOU BREATHE DIFFERENT. YOU MAY SMELL DIFFERENTLY, TYPE DIFFERENTLY< see? 🙂

 

THE POINT is….. HEAVEN has a plan, and surrender of our plan is critical TO that plan being SCENE…..

I walk in the steps, of Sarah…my littlest Angel. Oh they are tiny shoes, and big shoes. Tiny wings, and MIGHTY wings. I also, walk in the steps of my mother Sarah as well. Now, my Father, and so many more. I am so grateful, for the heavenly cloud of witnesses. I will NEVER forget the day on October 18, 2015. It was nighttime. I know it was late. I rememeber that we had been up all night. and i think, it was around 3:33 AM. My heart literally stopped from the pain. BUT GOD……

I went HOME. Yes, I SAW the witnesses. I was so VERY enveloped by the LOVE of HEAVEN. When I get to the darkest places, I now, have that memory, and JESUS does not allow, it to torment me. It ALWAYS comforts ME. IT ALWAYS brings HEALING. It is truly BEAUTIFUL!!! The very first thing that happened, is Sarah comes running up to ME…. She said, “Mom, what are YOU doing HERE?” Then, in the same breath, “Nevermind, that doesn’t matter come on!” She grabbed me, and took me through!!!! It was BREATHTAKING! I was in wonder, as everywhere I looked, was more pristine, and phenominal, and I just had no words, because, I was HOME. I was SAFE. I was FREE. I was where I ALWAYS DREAMED to BE, WANTED to BE. Where I COULD BE ME. WHERE I FIT!!! OH IT WAS JUST PERFECT!!!!!! I went into a room that was like a GRAND BALL ROOM. AND EVERYONE JUST SHOWERED ME WITH LOVE! SOMETHING THAT HAS ABSOLUTEY NEVER, EVER HAPPENED HERE ON EARTH. NOT ONCE,in full, that I recall..

The closest I EVER came, was when I was 16, some friends, threw a surprise party for me, and I got some hugs, and presents. And i remember thinking, if my life were done tonight, that’d be okay. And that seemed like a strange thought to have. But remember, as I share b4, I used to, as a teen have other issues with bad stuff, like self harm. But Jesus healed me. Thank Heaven’s The testimony of His love. It has now been 16 year, since any of that bad. Jesus is so GOOD!!!! I believe that IS Gone for good, and HE is used me, to help so many others, with that, thank God.

But back to Heaven…..  Jesus is Electric. He was struck by lightening on the cross. And he held a sphere with electricity in it, representing my life. After what felt like time, thought time exist not there, He came over to me, and said something. He said, “Well, I need your answer.” I said, “what is the question?’ “Do you want to stay?” I thought about it for a moment. Then I said, “This is so hard. Because, this is MY HOME. I have ALWAYS wanted to BE HERE. You KNOW THAT. But BEFORE you sent me THERE, I MADE a promise to YOU. I told YOU, that I would ALWAYS stay there for as LONG as YOU NEEDED me to, NO MATTER what. AND well, I just don’t think and feel that the work is finished there. He smiled, and He looked at me and said, ” My beautiful, my friend, My daughter, My precious, My Love, My everything Oh, how I want to thank you. For most don’t even think about it. They don’t count the cost. Now, to be fair, since that moment, I have had MANY moment, where I have said, “Um, if you’d given me a glimpse I would have said no.” But the truth is, I never would have said NO to Jesus. And, even my thinking I would, is kind of like a running joke. He is the Lion of Judah. My Lion KING. That movie took on NEW meaning for me. BOY, did it ever. There is more to what happened to me that day, but I don’t feel led to share ALL of it.  And, I will end with this, The SONG BUTTERFLY is coming on. OH I LOVE MY JESUS!!!! # HEAVENSCaLLINGCARDS

14 Jul 2018

My Wall

Today, was glancing at a film, that was on Hallmark. And you will recall, if you have ever watched, a fil on this chanel, that it is ALL about Love.  It was shown to me, that LOVE is at it’s VERY core about acceptance. IF WE do NOT accept in FULL, the LOVE and everything that goes with it, WE reject in FULL, not part, JESUS. Now, to be clear, this is the LOVE of Heaven. THAT is NOT about religion, striving, or even surviving. It IS about one thing, and ONE thing ONLY. Jesus.

When you are rejecting Jesus, you choose every prison imaginable. BUT WHEN YOU accept HIM, you are FREE. NOTHING can bind YOU, when you say YES to, the unadultarated, LOVE of HEAVEN.

15 Jun 2017

Heavenly Fugue

This weekend, I watched a show called “Saving Hope.” It is the last season, and I kind of stumbled upon it one day. The episode this week, was called ” Doctor Robot.” There’s a few things significant, about it, to me. Most doctors, who train to be doctors, are about precision, control, and logic. It’s how their books are written. In the aforementioned episode, this man, who had lost a child, suddenly became funny. One of the doctors, had a gut feeling, that it might not just be a “normal” development.

This doctor, on the show, reminds me of my husband. Because, he has this ability to see so deeply, and yet is often afraid of the affects, of speaking about it. In the show, the man was informed, there was in fact something, wrong, and he needed immediate surgery, or he would die. At first, he said no. He was afraid, that the surgery would take away the “joy.” But the truth is, when it’s real, and not just an avoidance tactic, or something else; nothing can take away joy. He eventually complied, and the doctor helped him to see the truth.

Personally, I have made a commitment to God. That no matter what, even if I have no words, my heart will praise HIM. That everything I have, am given, and desire, is HIS alone. I don’t know how long, my days on earth will be. It’s hard for me to SEE that God has used me, to make a difference. Because, quite frankly, that vision is blurred. In complete truth, I just want the pain to end, the healing and mending to be finished. I want to be able to LIVE as intended. I don’t know for certain how, where or when that will Be. But, without a doubt, Jesus has never let me down. Not ever. Despite, how it seems or feels. His will, and way must happen, and what it takes to get there, is just tough to watch at times.

 

Lyrics

I’m so confused
I know I heard you loud and clear
So, I followed through
Somehow I ended up here
I don’t wanna think
I may never understand
That my broken heart is a part of your plan
When I try to pray
All I’ve got is hurt and these four words

Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Thy will be done

I know you’re good
But this don’t feel good right now
And I know you think
Of things I could never think about
It’s hard to count it all joy
Distracted by the noise
Just trying to make sense
Of all your promises
Sometimes I gotta stop
Remember that you’re God
And I am not
So

Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Like a child on my knees all that comes to me is
Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Thy will

I know you see me
I know you hear me, Lord
Your plans are for me
Goodness you have in store
I know you hear me
I know you see me, Lord
Your plans are for me
Good news you have in store

So, thy will be done
Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Like a child on my knees all that comes to me is
Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Thy will be done
I know you see me
I know you hear me, Lord

https://play.google.com/music/preview/Tf6pb77mhmnr3rqrxepf6wbml3m?lyrics=1&utm_source=google&utm_medium=search&utm_campaign=lyrics&pcampaignid=kp-lyrics

  • 3 When Judas, who had betrayed him, saw that Jesus was condemned, he was seized with remorse and returned the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and the elders. 4 “I have sinned,” he said, “for I have betrayed innocent blood.” “What is that to us?” they replied. “That’s your responsibility.”
  • Matthew 6:14-15

    14 For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
  • 25 And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”
  • 12 So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.
  • 15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin.
  • 3 I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you.”
  • 23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,

In His Imminent Grace,

E

 

05 Jun 2017

My Wonderland…Heaven

Fact. I live IN this world, but I’m NOT of this world. More often than not sometimes, I keep my mouth shut. Not because I’m afraid, but, more because, I’m learning, to speak, when HE moves me. I woke today at 4, on the 4h, of the month of Grace. Yes, and I didn’t wake, feeling happy happy joy joy, yet I did. I woke, and took my ear plugs out, and heard he birds singing. I heard a phone ring. And I thought, Jesus is calling. “Oh come to the altar, the Father’s arms, are open wide. Redemption, and freedom, the precious blood of Jesus Christ.”

Only Jesus Himself, understands everything. When vile things, attempt to bring Chaos, He is the ONLY one, who can step in, and set things aright. If WE try to fix people, we miss the point. Without LOVe, “we are a clanging symbol.” His LOVE is Mercy, and HE is LOVE. I don’t know, how long, it will take or be, here. And at the very center, I am okay with that. In the beginning of the journey, I would pray to go home. But, now, I know Jesus IS my home. And despite, how it feels, that there is purpose, in ALL things.

I hope someday, that people begin to see, that death is not what it is portrayed to be, by most. This world, is full of so much hurt. But, Jesus’s world, is the freedom, to be able to SEE clearly. When God says, NO, then it means NO. And, there are times, where that is happening, and many are ignoring His guidance. Some, are trying to convince themselves, and others, that they are doing what God wants. But, only He truly knows.

Jesus is not a God of guilt and condemnation. He is a God of Love and adoration. I woke up, and so much, in so many ways, have wanted to go back to sleep again. I think, THIS must have been, how HE felt, and sometimes, she felt. Because, for those of you, who do read this, you know our youngest little angel, is now with Jesus. I suppose, in some ways, she was, and yet never WAS. Love is about acceptance. It is about Jesus, tearing down road blocks.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8Amplified Bible (AMP)

Love endures with patience and serenity, love is kind and thoughtful, and is not jealous or envious; love does not brag and is not proud or arrogant. It is not rude; it is not self-seeking, it is not provoked [nor overly sensitive and easily angered]; it does not take into account a wrong endured. It does not rejoice at injustice, but rejoices with the truth [when right and truth prevail]. Love bears all things [regardless of what comes], believes all things [looking for the best in each one], hopes all things [remaining steadfast during difficult times], endures all things [without weakening].

Love never fails [it never fades nor ends]. But as for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for the gift of special knowledge, it will pass away.

04 May 2017

Bathing in the FIRE

Somedays, can’t even recall the date, or day. And thank GOD, it does not matter. The things that mattered before, both do and just DON’T, in the same way. I LOVE baths. Do you??? They have always been a time of reflection, healing, and REST, in my life. As a kid, they were also a place of GREAT JOY!!!!!

Now, I can’t handle them, in the same way. I cannot stay for HOURS in the water, because, I am at times, painfully just aware of the effect, on my physical body. And, there was a time, I would have thought, I had failed. But, NOW I understand, THAT being “sick” as this world calls it, is okay. Let me be clear, I am not saying I believe that Bad, has taken roots. But, I finally recognize, that being different, is not a terrible thing. AND, that suffering is NOT, nor will ever be a life sentence prison, in the way it WAS before.

Because, now LOVE is what leads me. I think it always was, in a sense. BUT, it was clouded by pain. AND how, HIS Love just remains everywhere is mind boggling. THAT I get to participate, is as well. I have gone through seasons of great trial, torment and at times, it feels and has felt, like just torture. BUT, the one thing that remains is LOVE. His name, Jesus.

I thought this entry was going to be about a film, I just saw. And it IS, in a way. 😉 On the 11th, I saw the movie, “The Shack.” I will likely be referring to this film, a great deal. I began to read the book years ago, but I never finished it, all the way through. The movie, was and IS such a gift from Heaven.

It will take a few entrys to complete what has been shared, about this amazing piece of just Heaven given LOVE. But, let’s start with THIS part. “Religion is to much work. I don’t want slaves, I want friends.” That is a quote from the film. It truly touched ME to the core.

I encourage YOU, to take a moment, and see it. Very worth your time. Will write more soon. 🙂

13 Mar 2017

Protective Measures

Long ago, in what sure feels like, a galaxy far far away, I watched my first movie. I can’t recall exactly what it was. Maybe, it was Superman, Star Wars, The Wizard of Oz. But, I remember my reaction, was such wonder. It was a place, where I could find Heaven. I loved television, plays, books, music, and anything, that was expressive.

Within the confinement of creativity, even dark stuff, Jesus found me, and I fell in LOVE. But, don’t get me wrong, The Love affair, was not without challenges. But, somehow there were always protective measures, put in place to bring me to safety. Did they always feel good, nope. In Jerry McGuire, he has a line, “We live in a Cynical World, a Cynical World. I remember thinking, the world around me is, but my world is Jesus Land. It does not belong TO ME, but I am always a resident.

We are told to be “alien” of the world, by God. And, that WE actually ARE peculiar. In all my journey here, I can finally say, I am A Okay with that. Well, most days anyway. 😉 I just want to say, I’m very glad that Jesus loves everyone the same. Because, I don’t know about you, but i FULLY rely on His protective measures, that He has for living. 🙂

03 Mar 2017

HOME~~~

fighting-parents 816e6e642d8b65a15137333cbf5ed230 broken_home_living_room republic-of-the-broken-home-300x225 home large god-of-the-broken-home-cc-image_october_2013Can’t recall if I have used this title of an entry before. I went back and forth, between, “Phone Home,” or “Home away from HOME,” even “Jesus is Home.” But nowadays, learning that well, LESS is MORE, At least pertaining to words of the heart. Particularly true, with His Heart. Because, what seems slow to us, is fast to Jesus.

I slept through her actual “time” of her Heavenaversary. Part of me, doesn’t care if another soul reads this. It’s really just thoughts, visions, insights, and more, that I share with my LOVE, and vice versa. At first I felt sad, that everyone went about his or her life. But, the truth is, that’s a blessing in disguise.

I sat in the tub, and wept. I wept at good memories, I wept and rough ones. I wept because so few get it, I can’t seem to finish the book, there’s misunderstanding all over, I feel forgotten, and so much MORE. I saw her, dancing, and she stopped, when she noticed me watching. She looked in my eyes, and through His Love, I heard a few words. “I know this is hard, and you thought, well you know. But momma you’re needed there. It’s tough to be both places, but that’s why we rely on His Graces. Never forget my story is yours. It was always a part of you, written in the Heavenly stars. whether finished there, it is here. Soon. I know that does not comfort you, or make you feel better. especially today. But please remember the promise made. Hold onto that, like the hem. It’s never too late to begin, once again. Try not to judge them, for they really cannot comprehend. And, some are loving, how they can. Others, well Jesus will handle them too. With care, blessing, and Love. You will see. Just Rest, and Be. I will tell you I love you, I will remind you what it was like to hear. You have so many presents, hidden away till it is time there. Please remember everything belongs not to you, me or anyone else. Remember….I know it does not seem like it, but you ALL are doing well. Every day WE ring the Heavenly liberty bells over you ALL.”~

Someone told me, I was past learning, from a certain avenue. But Jesus says, “There’s never a time, that I can’t use something to teach you. Not Ever. I found myself, apologizing over and over and over, for getting wrapped up, in how I feel. I apologized for being selfish, not seeing the BIG picture. I apologized for being moved by others, in a way that pulled me from His arms.  But you know what the response was. “My Grace is sufficient, my beautiful one. It’s no surprise to me, that you breakdown sometimes. As far as being moved from me, THAT is not possible. I am always with YOU. I always Love you. You ALWAYS matter.” I cried out, “But i don’t believe you!!!! If I mattered, then this and that would not happen!!! I would be safe.” His response, “You ARE safe. You just DON”T always FEEL safe. But, that does not change the truth. In my arms, you are safe, you are free, and everything YOU are meant to be. Always. I will believe FOR you, when you cannot. I am ALL you need. My promise, to step in, if it gets to BE too much. Even the good, at times, can feel crushing. But, I come as a rushing wind, again and again, as many times as it takes. YOU are an irreplaceable treasure, to ME. If I had no need of YOU, things would be different, you see?”

Home, where the heart is, where we are at peace, where there is security, safety, freedom, and release. HOME….in the simplest term and word, JESUS. ~

 

23 Dec 2016

TWINS

The toughest part, about existing, in THIS place, is having the one, who was the MoST accepting, in such a tiny package, be watching now. Don’t get me wrong, I am SO very grateful, for every single thing. Having gone through the motions, and still enduring them, the perspective, from before, inn some ways, is just no more.

But, in others, more daily, is given, a new vision. But be aware, that new vision, can very much disrupt the OLD. Especially, in a natural way, and sometimes it is VERY ODD. But, make no mistake, that it is God. His love, no one said would be easy. Not to mention, in this place and time, it can make us feel queasy.

I used to give WAY more credit, than was needed, to a place, of hurt. So many are living in the prison, of religion, and in it, there is ONLy one cure. Guess what it is? The real LOVE of Jesus. I always wanted a twin, and then came Sarah. She was this, ray of sunshine, that through Jesus I just began to adore. Yet, I admit, every day, I would secretly wonder, somewhere, is today the day? I don’t think I have ever verbally admitted that, till now.

Because, I was taught, to put a smile on your face, and love in your heart, and just get through. But…Jesus Love, and His plans are so much MORE than just survival. ~

24 Nov 2016

The Merry Go Round

Not that long ago, I may have written another post, similar to this one. But, lately MY memory, has been a tad challenging. So, if so, let’s just say, we are continuing on. I had a vision today of a merry go round. I LOVE to play in Heaven. I seem to do it, a lot. Yet, I may not always be officially conscious of it. 😉 Anyway, I began thinking about my childhood.

I don’t know why, I have been given the gift of TIME. But, I am so grateful for it. I guess I do know why. Because, there has been a real NEED for it. You know, WE all think about time, from a literal perspective. But, remember that the issues with the enemy begin, and end with LOGIC. I’m not gonna try and convince you of it, just look at the stories. The Genesis Story alone, shows us this. LOGIC unsurrendered before Jesus, can be a very dangerous tool.

Back, to the Merry Go Round, and Merry God Round. Have you ever had a GOD moment, and just got so dizzy you could barely stand? Well guess what, THAT is the Merry God round. It is so fun, until you get dizzy, and cannot stand up. THEN, you feel sick. Long ago, in the hospital, with our littlest angel, I began to get glympses of this. Yet, I never ever knew it was so much, like a merry go round.

THAT, by the way, as a kid, was my absolute favorite!!!! Yet, as an adult, sometimes, I forget, that the dizziness, eventually passes, and balance comes back. I have been having a unique set of physical challenges. Not gonna get into lots of detail. Despite how it looks, I know this is about GOD, and nothing more. I may have my moment of weakness. But, HE is my reason for existence. HE does anything that is ever GOOD, that comes through ME.

Does that mean it is easy? Well, LOGIC says that it should be. But GODGIC, His ways, say otherwise. His ways, are NOT our ways. The greatest key, to receiving HIS LOVE, in full, is staying surrendered, and teachable before God. I hope that THIS blesses you ALL.

This Blog is about HIS LOVe…and HIS desire for all of us to receive it. HIS Grace indeed is sufficient, and thank GOD it is perfected, when we feel weak. 🙂

In His Grace and Glory,

E

02 Nov 2016

Kryptonite Mine

When I was a child, I thought like a child. Well, sometimes, I did. Other times, I would observe something, and well, TRY and talk about it. Usually, with a family member of friend, I would share. Most the time, I really did not check, whether they wanted to hear. I just spoke, often fearful, that I would run out of time.

I would hear people around me, speak about faith. My parents, friends, and many others. Yet, I couldn’t help but notice, that they seemed lost. I knew I was, or at least it appeared that way. But, I would hear the name of Jesus preached, and teached. Yet, I would think to myself. Where is this guy? Why, doesn’t He show up?

Somewhere inside, I new the truth. But, when I would ask the questions, rejection came. The elders would look at me, with disdain. They figured, why should they listen to a child?  Because, in their eyes, I had no experience. What did I know? I must confess, when I first became a parent, I thought this. So, my intent is not to judge a single soul. But, to speak the truth, which is, thinking that way, leads to nothing.

Often our “Heavenly Kids” have wondered if we loved one child, more than another. Some have confronted us, before. But, what WE have always said, is simple. JESUS is whom we choose. They are united now, He and our butterfly. Heaven is where she fully resides. Yet, we do too, but it’s a bit different. Because, HERE there are barriers and boundaries, put in place.

The title, Kryptonite Mine, is when someone says, MY Jesus cannot. So, I lay it down, so HE can give it a shot. He wins. Again and Again and Again. Not just something we say. The proof is IN His EYES. LOVE resides there. He always cares. JOY. Grace. Mercy. Glory. All the good lives there. Even Kryptonite, of this world, can stop HIS hand or plans. 🙂

04 Oct 2016