GOOD KNIGHT SweetHeart ~ ❤️

1794740_10202793062767651_1849597989958784677_n12166887_10207993635856946_547456957_nfighting-parentsimages10356327_797736560298840_800842292463146719_n816e6e642d8b65a15137333cbf5ed2301024_1069125859787707_7567550745995162315_n778863_10151673469177785_890606283_oI woke up this morning, early. As a child, I became an EARLY riser, not exactly by choice. But, NOW, there is definitely redemption. I used to KICK hard against the goads. Meaning, I often wanted MY way.  Ultimately, THAT also means, I would fight God’s plans, for my life. I was NEVER really against God. The desire was NEVER, on purpose rebellion.  I was more, just CURIOUS then, if I could exert MY will. Oh My, was I a strong willed child. I admit, at times, that came out badly.  I could, quite frankly, be a BRAT. There were so MANY factors, that played into that.~~~ ❤️ 💔 💧

 

 

 

But, what I remember most, is NOT feeling heard. Because, back then, and NOW,  God would show me things.  I would get excited, and want to share.  So, I would try.  They key word, in that senstence is “I. ” It was often me, and not God. Not, that I was consciously, aware of this, because I was NOT.  All I knew was,  I wanted others to Love ❤️ Jesus.  And, back then, I wanted them, to love ❤️ and accept me too.  ~~~~

 

 

When my “family” or my “friends” did not LISTEN, to me, it hurt. 🙁  And, I, in my own IGNORANCE, often repaid evil for Evil.  The people themselves, most of them were just, trying to exist.  And, each one had pain, and wounds too.  The old adage, so true; “hurt people hurt people. ” I did NOT understand, how MUCH God desired ME. ~~~~ 💔 ❤️ 💔

 

 

 

To be REALLY honest, I’m still learning 🎓  about this.   I wanted to know MORE, so I would visit churches. ALL my close friends, were ONE specific denomination. And, I found that interesting. It doesn’t really matter, what one.  Because , God has purpose in ALL things.  And we’ve scene Him, use EVERY section, of the church. ⛪️ ~~~ ❤️

 

 

I tried to make FRIENDS in my own church. But, those friendships, did NOT seem to last. I think it is fascinating, how God would send me, to these other places. I would come home, asking my Mother then, ALL kinds of questions. And usually, her most common answer was simple. “We don’t believe that way,” She’d say. And I would say, “Well, what do WE believe?”  I often felt VERY confused and anxious, about the responses.  Sad🙁 Inside, I was thinking, “should I not choose for myself, what I believe? Should it be FIXED already? How is that fair?” ~~~

 

 

On very RARE occasions, I would be BRAVE enough to ask her, about that. The fairness answer, I’m sure you know well.  I would often hear,  “Life is NOT fair. ” And I would think, “It should be. ”  My oldest Sarah, (mother) was a FIGHTER in my life. Oh, MY did she fight for her kids, friends, and Family👪. I suspect, she still does, though quite different now. ~ ❤️ 💔 🌼🌻🌺💐🌸🌹🏵🌳🌲🌱💮💐

 

 

She was ALWAYS taking up for me. And, in a lot of ways, I am very grateful for that. But, I cannot say, I super appreciated it, THEN. ~~~ Especially, because she often, would say, ” I do not have ALL,  the answers.” That would terrify me. I would THINK, “but you are the one, who’s taking care of me. If you don’t have them, how do I get them?”  ~ More to the point, I’d wonder,  “Am I safe here, if you don’t know, or can’t help? ”

 

 

What frustrated ME as a CHILD, was I could hear, SEE, smell, sense and experience things. So, I would say these things aloud, and no one believed me. It was like Joseph, in the BIBLE. He had dreams, visions, and got insights. And He would try and share them, with THOSE He loved. He would tell his “family and friends.” And, his brother’s threw him into a PIT. He was sold into slavery. I so relate to this. Everyone around me, was always saying things, that just were crucifying. ~~~ 💔

 

 

Things, like, ” I forgot, it is ALWAYS, about Katy. The whole WORLD revolves around HER.” Those words, were like DAGGERS and swords⚔ to my heart, and soul. Even writing about it, is NOT easy for ME. But, it is spoken of, not to remind of the bad. It is for one reason, today. Those words then, might have caused ONE reaction, and led to infractions. But, NOW they heal ME. By God’s Grace, there is freedom, that comes in them. There is a humbling. ~~~~~ I had to come, to the END, of myself. Oh boy, does THAT happen daily 2. Because, once it begins, it does NOT exactly stop. And what it has TAKEN to get me, to that place, has been RATHER painful. But God. ~ ❤️ 💔 ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

 

 

“In THIS world, YOU will have tribulation, and TROUBLE. But, take HEART, because I have overcome the world. “THIS is what Jesus says, to US. This is US. Oh, so that is where, He is taking THIS. 🙂 Back to the show📺. TV again. The transformative VICTORY. It started out, as a temporary one. BUT GOD. As a child, there were 3 main channels on TV. I am not saying, other channels were not present. I am saying, there were 3 of them, that broadcasted at highest frequency. These were ABC, NBC and CBS. Each one, had a line-up. THis is still true, today. The shows, have been switched out, but each one, has a section of shows. I have found, each STATION, has many shows that are helpful, fun and unique. But, what I noticed, as a KID, is the compete that happens. For example, there is always a competition, with Ratings, to see who can outdo the other. That never made sense to me. But, I just accepted it, because who was I, to know? !?

 

 

 

 

 

As I got older, and REALLY would lean into JESUS more, I would learn, competition is NOT a great plan long term. However, like EVERYTHING, it has a purpose. In the case of these stations, they better themselves, by competing with each other. So, as a young girl, there was a FRIDAY night family thing, on ABC. I think it was called, TGIF. They used those letters to mean, something else I am certain. BUt, I always heard, “Thank GOd IT IS Friday.” It was my favorite time of the week. ❤️  🎉  ❤️

 

 

I loved the block of shows, they would choose. THEY always made me laugh. 😄 😄 😄  Many of those shows, I still watch in reruns. Because, MOST of them, then were full of CLEAN humor. That, can be a BIT tougher to find, now. NBC had a Thursday, line up then. And, CBS, had a Saturday one, I believe. Memory still healing, with these things. But, the KEY point, is, I would look for FUNNY shows. Rarely, would I look for DRAMAs. Because, there was ENOUGH of that, in just day to day life. I desperately wanted laughter and JOY. In some ways, I wanted a distraction, from ALL the yuck, I saw. Sometimes, it worked, and other times, well, NOT at all. ~~~

 

 

 

So, now fast forwarding Some, because, we have set the scene. We come to, ONE of the newest shows, on TV. Yes, I had to have a minute, to build, to THIS. When this show, premiered, I thought, “That looks good….but.” It was like, I knew, it would be TOUGH to watch. And in some ways, it HAS been, VERY challenging, to SEE. But God. I say that a LOT.~~~ 💔

 

 

“THIS is US,” is the show,  on NBC, and it has a stellar cast. THe first episode, was tough for me. I admit, I cried a lot. SO many reasons why. The biggest, parallels in MY own life. I often watch the show, and PRAY. Because, God has promised healing in my “Family.” There is so much , that show has been used to teach me. The dad, is so much like my dad, who is NOW with Jesus. There were 3 of us kids, in the house. One difference, is that these “KIDS” are close, because they came together, in solidarity. I so want that. God willing, one day, it will BE. ~~~ ❤️ 💔 ❤️

 

 

But, the relationship, with the MOM, and the daughter. Oh yes, I so relate. She even has, part of my name. No mistake there. SHe battles weight. Yes, I did that too.  It is still something, i give to Him daily.  Self image.  Wow, no words.  Just learning to SEE myself, through His eyes of Love❤️. And eventhough she has a twin, not even he, gets her ALWAYS.~~~

 

 

But, she is determinded to LOVE. ❤️  Yes, THAT, i understand, so well. Even when life, just throws, HELL at you. That is ME, to a TEE. I am one, who will LOVE, at ALL cost. Especially, when it is undeserved. Because, I have learned, the hard way, it is NEEDED most then. And, I ask JESUS to LOVE through me, NOW. Because, back then, I did not know, I could. Everything about the show, “THIS is US,” resonates with me. I have been amazed how similar it is, to the life I have had. In life, we either embrace similarities, or RUN from them. You run to HELP. or away. ~ ❤️ 💔 ❤️

 

 

And, for ME, it takes JESUS to get me through each day. ANd, NO contrary to popular belief, there is NO impure religion in me. I simply LOVE ❤️  Him most. When the storms of this LIFE come, YOU must TRUST the captain, creator and director of THOSE storms. I mean, this quite literally. IF you do NOT trust in HIS help, you will struggle more. But, when YOU do, you are guaranteed to have more PEACE. ~~~ love❤️

 

 

That, is the beauty of HIS ❤️ LOVE . It is a union and partnership 2. 🙂 He promises to take CARE of you, and ALL you ❤️  LOVE 2. There is such COMFORT in this. If YOU never receive an apology, for being mistreated, kicked, bullied, thrown away; HIS LOVE love Love❤️, will FREE you. It is what it DOES. He loves you ANYWAY, there is NOTHING that can seperate YOU, from HIS LOVE. He is the Heavenly white KNIGHT. ANd HE is a GOOD KNIGHT. There is NOTHING that is BAD, that resides in JESUS. So, sweetheart, EMBRACE His hugs and kisses. LAY down, your feelings of shame and inadequacies. Be not insecure, about HIS guardianship, of YOU. You are SAFE in HIS loving arms. ~~~~~ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

 

 

I will write MORE about that TV show later. Becuase, it has been a great refrence, in the HEALING process. But, the one THING, that REALLY jumps out, from my memory of it, is simple. The doctor came in, after one of the babies, had died. He spoke to the dad character. I believe his name is Jack. What He told him, is such wisdom, and just fact. He said, ” if you can take the sourest of LEMON, and somehow, make LEMONADE; you have done well.” I may have misquoted it a bit. But, here is what it made me think of. “WELL DONE THY GOOD and FAITHFUL SERVANT.” Some think we have to wait, till our life ends, to hear these words. But, that is NOT so, you can hear them often; by God’s Grace. 🙂 ❤️ 💔 ❤️ 💧 😭

 

 

I rememeber, when WE had to make tough choices, my husband and I. Not, that we don’t have to anymore, because sometimes , WE DO. But, in the beginning, WE had some whoppers. We had to decide, whether to give CHEMO, to our daughter. My husband and I prayed, and fasted too. Before WE even knew completely, what THAT meant. Most of ALL, we sought peace. We said to JEsus, “She belongs to you. What do YOU want?” The asnwer we received, was a simple answer. Yet, it was PROFOUND too. He asked us a question, “What takes more faith, for you to do it the EASY way, or the one, that takes TRUST completely?” Love❤️

 

 

We decided, HE wanted a balance for our girl. And, she GOT that. For 5.5 months she was in the hospital. Rarely did WE leave, unless directed. She shined her LIGHT of ❤️ LOVE , so VERY brightly. SO many came to know JESUS’s LOVE because of her, willingness to endure. ~ This is still happening , because of His Grace.  ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

 

 

So many STILL are being FREED by the SEEDS of LOVE, planted. Grateful for that. It is what MAKES the journey, worth it! We chose to TRUST God, in ways we could not fathom. I would pray for our marriage, and JESUS began changing ME. I needed healing, because how could I be an example of ❤️ LOVE ? I sure did NOT know how to 🔦  shine it, like SOME. But GOd, He would patiently and delicately show me. And as this happened, there WAS healing that would come. THAT amazed me. Sarah was healed, in the hospital. ❤️  IN fact, God healed her numerous times. The doctors, were in awE of ALL the miracles. I still AM. Not, because of the miracles, themselves, but just because of how powerful, HIS LOVE is. #HisLOVEHEALSUS ~ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

 

 

My husband was HEALED in our HOme. Love❤️ And healing, Lasts, by the GRACE of God. Yes, that seems ODD to some. But, it is TRUE. You can have and by HIS Grace, do HAVE divine healing. It is your JOB, to receive it. It is your JOB to believe it. And, when you cannot, you MUST rely on JESUS to do it. Because, HE absolutely WILL. There is NO question about that. HIS ❤️ LOVE  will strengthen, heal, reveal and save. It will make, even YOUR enemies, LIVE at peace with you. His ❤️ LOVE  will do, what nothing else, can DO. It will MAKE you WHOLE. ~~~ ❤️

 

So today, CHOOSE this day, whom you serve. Do you SERVE the rescuer & GOOD KNIGHT?

 

For HE is a GOD of GREAT and BIG ❤️ LOVE !!!!!!! And one day, THIS world will END. and, when it does, it is BEST to be allied, with HIM. Because, anything else, will DESTROY. Grace Grace. ~

 

 

Heavenly FATHER, thank you for returning memories, so tenderly. Jesus thank you for standing for and with US. Holy Spirit, thank you for nurturing us, and replenishing every NEED. There is a HUMBLING happening, in the BODY. Grace be unto US and them. THank you for your LOVE. We come with repentant hearts, JOYFULLY willing to receive, ALL you have to give. WE praise you in advance. You are so FAITHFUL. Thank you for closing all doors, not devoted to YOU. For opening up, 2 the Gates of Heaven, for your KIDS. WE praise YOU, and give you HONOR. In Jesus name and BLOOD. AMen ~ ❤️

 

WRAPPED in HIS ❤️  LOVE,

 

Elea

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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