Free to be ME

12166887_10207993635856946_547456957_nToday I was speaking with a dear sister of mine. I am so grateful for those who often don’t even know, they are angels in disguise. When talking to her, I was so touched by Heaven. Every time, God uses her to counsel me, and I’m set free, even more. I had no desire to write today. I mean less than none. i have always liked to write, when I am calm and completely at peace. But, God wants me to do this broken. So, here we go…

In order to make the point, He wants made, I need to give a bit of background. In some ways, this last week was one of the most challenging, of my life. Not for any reason, that is obvious to most. But, because God called me into HIM. Usually, when He does this, I have plenty of time to prepare. I am usually allowed to let those who are connected to me, know. But, THIS time, that did not happen. I was caught, pretty much off guard, when God did not just ask for time with me. Yes, He is a gentleman, but this was more like, and order from a Holy General.

It was more like, if I did not take the time with HIM, there would be dire consequences. So, I did. I obeyed Him, knowing I would likely be misunderstood, and it was a risk. But, I have learned, often the hard way, what happens when I disobey. Very few times, has God been so stern with me. In fact, the last time, I was in a hospital. But, that is another story. This time, it was like I was lost in time. I know it may be tough to grasp that.

You see, God is NOT a vending machine God. He is a loving Father, brother, and for me, like a mother. God is my family. He is the ONLY family I really ever let in. I grew up, looking like I was a spoiled brat. But, the TRUTH is, I just wanted acceptance. No one ever wanted to hear, what I had to share. People would pretend that they did. But, they really didn’t. I was a lot like Joseph.

My “family”, did not understand me. They put up with me, until my mom died. Then, my dad passed, 15 years later. My dad passed only 4 weeks, almost to the day, after my only child birthed. I haven’t talked much about how I felt. You see, as I kid, I was basically told not to feel. So, when my feelings got too intense, I went to a very bad outlet. It was like a drug. In fact, for 10 years, I would say I was a lot like an addict. I was addicted to causing myself harm. I did not realize that it was an addiction, until today. Truly, it was like this light bulb came on. All of the sudden I knew, I was addicted to that.

I grew up in a religulous environment. Yes, I mispelled that on purpose. It was not just religious. It was so much more than that. I was born into a family, of broken individuals. No one knew how to be free. Yes, we went to church, as a family. But, the same church telling us God loves us, would speak death over us too. It is like I was birthed into a curse. I tried to stay positive, and rely on God. But, it was like, He was this foreign being to me. I just could not plug in.

I made A LOT, I mean A LOT of very bad decisions and choices. I own it too. It really is a miracle, for me to still be breathing. It is a miracle, that God loves me, still. I dealt with and exhibited, abuse, and manipulation, and control. Because, I thought then, that was normal. To this world, it is normal. But, I don’t want to be of this world. I never did. Yes, I go through times, where I just want to be HOME. But, doesn’t everybody? Don’t WE ALL want to experience REAL LOVE? Isn’t it a desire that God gave all of us, to be what He wants?

I believe God wants us to be ALL that WE can be through HIM. But, our brokenness, can be a curse, when it is all we have known. You see, I was birthed into a family affected by many things. That is absolutely true. But, thank God, that by His divine Grace, the buck stops here. You know why? Because HE says so. He says so, and THAT is enough.

I was watching a film, that I have watched many times. In the film the woman is a writer, and a mom. She has young children. I have been there, and done that, and I am certain now, that I will do it again. But this time, it is going to be VERY different. This time, I realize that ALL God really wants from me is one thing. He wants the same thing from all of us. Any guesses???? He wants me to LOVE Him, and to allow HIM to LOVE me, in the amount that HE chooses.

The last part has been REALLY tough to swallow. In fact, it has been so tough to swallow, that it has almost killed me, literally. I know in my mind that God is sovereign. He is not just in control, He is OVER everything. This means, He does not and will not let anything take HIM away from us. NOT EVER! Now, THAT my friends and family, is GOOD NEWS. When tough things have happened to me, I have asked God one question? That question is, “Why can’t I just get over it?”

I finally have the answer? Because, I actually cannot do that. I never will be able to get over it. I admit, I am a bad mom. I am not a great wife. I’m not saying that to speak negative. It’s just, that these things are true, when I do them. The ONLY time, I am successful, is when God does it. He blesses. He LOVES without requiring me to change instantly. His GRACE really IS sufficient. THAT is a miracle. HIS LOVE is the miracle WE need.

We can get so trapped, by even the way the church views things, or our friends. But, HIS LOVE will reach us, if we accept it.. It is through HIS LOVE that you and me can BE FREE. There are many circumstances, that have just devastated me. It was not because, God was last place. It was because, I thought it was a different plan. It is so hard to understand, how you can do EVERYTHING He requires, and still it happens differently. Often, it happens in a way that CUTS us to the core.

But God. My favorite words, the last few years especially, have been 3 words. Not, I love you, or thank you God. My 3 words have been a plea. Jesus Just Breathe. I did not realize, until today how significant those words are. Do you know those three words, tell such a story. I would not be surprised, if the Heavenly Father said those words to Jesus. In a particular situation, and that is the crucifixion.

I have watched a crucifixion. Not in the same way that some have. Still, VERY real and VERY impactful. at one time, it was like I had PTSD. But the truth is, I had HTSD. That last one, stands for Heavenly Truth Stress Dismantling. I am so grateful for it, know that. Though, I would be lying, if I said it was easy to endure. Because, it has NOT been. There has been MUCH persecution. But, His LOVE has overcome. If I am an overcomer, it is for one reason alone. HE NEVER FAILS.

So, as my friend, and dear sister, spoke to me today. It is a NEW DAY, and a NEW TIME, and sometimes it will feel really uncomfortable. But, God says, “YOU are FREE to BE.” So, I tell you today, the 18th, which Biblically represents Bondage, that He is waiting to break you out. It is TIME. Choose His FREEDOM. He wants you to fly on HIS wings, in PURE JOY.

I LOVE YOU all. I don’t know who, if anyone is reading these words. But, I pray that even if no one does, they touch Heaven today. You are SO LOVED, and so AM I. Lord Jesus, I repent for anytime I have hurt someone you love. Not just that I LOVE. i repent for having expectations that have not been pleasing to you. I ask for you to COME and bring Heaven to this place. Because, I am READY NOW, to fully let you LOVE me.

Bible Verses About Freedom – COG (Children of GOD) that the world sees as Christstained are FREE

http://www.biblestudytools.com/topical-verses/freedom-bible-verses/

Christians have freedom over sin and darkness when we follow Christ, so learn and memorize verses about freedom in Christ Jesus.

Use our bible verses by topic page which lists popular verses from the Old and New Testament.

  • 2 Corinthians 3:17

    17 Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.
  • John 8:36

    36 So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.
  • 1 Corinthians 6:12

    12 “Everything is permissible for me”–but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible for me”–but I will not be mastered by anything.
  • Galatians 5:13-14

    13 You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love. 14 The entire law is summed up in a single command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”
  • Galatians 3:22

    22 But the Scripture declares that the whole world is a prisoner of sin, so that what was promised, being given through faith in Jesus Christ, might be given to those who believe.
  • Galatians 5:1

    1 It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.
  • Ephesians 3:12

    12 In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence.
  • Psalm 119:45

    45 I will walk about in freedom, for I have sought out your precepts.
  • Psalm 118:5

    5 In my anguish I cried to the LORD, and he answered by setting me free.
  • Acts 13:38-39

    38 “Therefore, my brothers, I want you to know that through Jesus the forgiveness of sins is proclaimed to you. 39 Through him everyone who believes is justified from everything you could not be justified from by the law of Moses.
  • Romans 6:22

    22 But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life.
  • 1 Peter 2:16

    16 Live as free men, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as servants of God.
  • Colossians 1:21-23

    21 Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of your evil behavior. 22 But now he has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation– 23 if you continue in your faith, established and firm, not moved from the hope held out in the gospel. This is the gospel that you heard and that has been proclaimed to every creature under heaven, and of which I, Paul, have become a servant.
  • Romans 8:20-21

    20 For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope 21 that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God.
  • Romans 8:1-4

    1 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, 2 because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. 3 For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in sinful man, 4 in order that the righteous requirements of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the sinful nature but according to the Spirit.
  • Galatians 2:4

    4 [This matter arose] because some false brothers had infiltrated our ranks to spy on the freedom we have in Christ Jesus and to make us slaves.
  • Isaiah 61:1

    1 The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners,
  • Luke 4:18

    18 “The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to to release the oppressed,

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His word, is OUR story. It’s time we remember how it ends. It ENDS with HIS LOVE conquering. No matter what it looks like. HIS LOVE is victorious, EVERY SINGLE TIME.

In His Grace and Glory,

E and Fam

Comment (1)

  1. Tiffany

    This makes so much sense. How wonderful it must feel to have “heard” what He desperately wants you to hear. Thank you for sharing!

    Reply

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