I really did not want to write today. At least NOT in my flesh, anyway. But, my spirit always wins out, no matter how I “feel.” I like to write when I feel upbeat and encouraged. But, I was commanded to do so now, so here we go. Just bare with me, because I have been crying for hours.
I don’t know why I am weeping. The tears just started, and won’t stop. I get tired of people telling me I am depressed. That lie has been told to me since I was born. I am a warrior and intercessor. All of our children are as well. It just is the life we live. It is one where almost 100% of the time, someone misunderstands us. But, it is just our existence.
Often, we never know what is coming next. I say this, not to gain anyone’s understanding or even compassion. It is simply a fact. So many have said, “You choose the life you live, or the hand you are dealt.” But, for some that is just not true. For some, a few it is chosen before you ever take your first breath on earth. It is not like you got to choose. Your destiny is quite frankly, “called to suffer.”
People often say, “Don’t lose your faith.” But, they do not even remotely get that is NOT possible. Because, even that does NOT belong to you. I know this is a more passionate entry, because it is about how we HEAL through the LOVE of Jesus. Do we really honestly believe that we can stop the plans of God? Because, neither we nor satan can stop what God desires.
Can we complicate the process, yes. But, can it actually be aborted? Heaven’s NO it cannot be stopped, because God’s LOVE exists to conquer evil. So many are so confined and trapped in prisons, that they do not even see. My heart aches for them. Jesus’s heart aches for them. If you REALLY know Jesus, you grieve with Him.
So many have said to me, “I wish I had your faith.” I think to myself, “Me too.” Everything I have and AM belongs to Jesus. “It’s like I am standing in the middle of the room screaming, and no one even looks up.”That is a line from the movie. One of my favorites. I remember seeing this, and thinking, “God sees you.” If I’m really being RAW about it all, I can say I thought one other thing. It was pretty simple. The thought that crossed my mind was, “I feel like that too.” Don’t we understand that WE have grace to feel? That God wants us to express ourselves, but in a way that is meant for healing and NOT destruction.
Faith by Jesus’s LOVE is all about, everything being directed back to Him. I often wonder why it takes such severe circumstances, for God to get our attention.
18 Aug 2015